is probably of the biggest fears that people have in life.

We imagine being very old, having no spouse

or significant other to love us

and there's no one there to take care

of us when we are slowly dying.

To avoid this fear of ending up alone,

many people will select a partner

who may not be right for them.

They think to themselves, this person is good enough

even though I don't truly love them,

I won't die alone if I just stick with this one person."

This is ironic though, because selecting

the wrong love partner will likely lead to divorce.

In the USA, 41% of first marriages end in divorce.

60% of second marriages end in divorce

and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

One of the reasons why I think the divorce rates

are so high, is because most people don't understand

how to love their partner and they also don't understand

how they themselves like to receive love.

A very famous marriage counselor names Gary Chapman

wrote a book called The Five Love Languages

and he said, "Every single problem

in any relationship can be tracked back

to these five love languages."

So here are the five languages.

Words of affirmation, quality time,

receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

One of the reasons why I have such a great relationship

with my girlfriend is because we have

the same primary love language, which is physical touch.

We both can just sit around for hours,

just holding each other without having to do

or think much but something else

that is very important to me is quality time.

Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention

with absolutely no distractions

like checking your Twitter, Instagram,

Facebook or your email.

To me, this is very important but for her,

she really needs words of affirmation

like me telling her that I love her,

how pretty she is, how much she means to me,

that kind of thing.

But just because words of affirmation

are not that important to me, I don't make the mistake

of not giving her those words of affirmation

because I love her and I know that's how she likes

to receive love and if I don't do these things,

she will feel like that I don't love her

or I'm losing interest in her.

The whole point here is to find out

what your partner's needs are and to make sure

that you both speak the same primary love language

because if you guys speak totally different love languages,

it's hard for a relationship to work out.

Of course, you can learn your partner's language

and you can start speaking it but in my opinion,

it is probably just easier to pick someone

who speaks the same language as you

but I do believe anything is possible.

I don't think giving love in a way

that is not in your primary love language

will grow resentment towards your partner.

Of course, you guys can have slight differences

and you may be more than one out of the five love languages,

like in my personal example but it all comes down

to understanding yourself and understanding

your partner's needs.

Take the time to really try and understand

what makes your partner tick and what makes them happy.

If you do this, I can promise you

that it will improve your relationship drastically.

If you enjoy this video, please make sure

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I'll see you in the next one.