*Which one of you is Mr Grey?*

why I'm here?

March 8th.

9.15 pm.

Rachel Ang Xin Yi.

Ss..sorry why am I here-

We do the asking,

you do the answering.

Ms Ang,

do you know why you're here?

That's what I just ask-

eleleleleleleleleeleeeaaa!

Don't mind him.

Inspector Phillip does that

everytime he disapproves.

Anyway,

We are the

R.I.P.

The Resolution Investigation

Police.

*Giirrrrl, your hair smells

AMAZEBALLS*

So Ms Ang...

How many New Year's resolution

have you failed so far?

Uh, I don't remember!

Fine.

Let me refresh your memory.

It was December 31st.

And you were scrolling through

Instagram.

You noticed all your friends

were posting their

New Year's resolutions and you

felt left out.

Realising that your last post

was a whole 7 days ago

you felt FOMO.

So, you posted your own

New Year's resolutions

with a totally irrelevant photo

you took 3 months ago

and you hashtagged

#NEWYEARRESOLUTIONS

Little did you know

that we've been monitoring

that hashtag.

Another one came in.

When should we do the raid?

Second week of Jan?

No no no...

Let's do it in March.

In case they think

New Years's resolutions apply

after Chinese New Year.

*Oh god, her hair smells

sOoooO good*

And now, we're here.

But how did I get here-

Elelelelleleleleelaaaaa!

Anyway,

We're here to find out

how many resolutions

you have broken.

And we'll know when

you're lying.

Number 1:

Lose 5 kg.

From our records,

you are 50 kg on the

December 31st.

Now you are-

52 kg!!

How do you explain yourself?

Well...

I actually gained 7 kg

during CNY.

*Damn girl, sucha big appetite*

And then I lost

5 kg.

Sooooo.....

Fine.

Number 2:

Get organised.

Inspector Phillip...

Please bring Exhibit A.

*Reversing chair alarm

activated*

HOW THE HECK?!

This chair

was from YOUR room!

Does this look

like the doing

of an ORGANISED person?

Well,

I know exactly which clothes

are in that pile.

like my black jacket!

This is called

ORGANISED MESS.

Well, don't worry.

We will get you.

Number 3:

Spend more time with family.

HAH!

We have your parents

in the other investigation room!

Let see you

Squuuiiirrrrmm

your way out of this one.

Don't worry Mr and Mrs Ang.

Just answer the question.

Has Rachel spend more

time with you this year?

She hardly spends any time

with us.

*farts*

She only ever come to us

for pocket money.

*more farts*

Last year...

She didn't spend any time

with us

*so smelly until Aunty cry*

*why the fart got smell onion?*

Sssoooo actually...

Now some time is better

than no time.

Ulellelelulululelellllluuuu!

*we is shooketh*

*eh don't touch touch leh*

*so who first?*

I think we've met our match.

*tinder match ah?*

No.

There must be something.

HAH!

Number 10:

FIND.

TRUE.

LOOOVEEE.

Wait...

NO.

My parents love me!

WAAIT NOOO!

*50 shades darkest*

Don't make resolutions

you can't achieve!

*onion breath hek hek hek*

AAaaAAAAaaaaaa!!

So what shampoo do you use?

**NOT SPONSORED**