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  • (beeping)

  • - Yeah let's take it outside the

  • bedroom we're about to get nasty.

  • - Yeah let's get real freaky.

  • - Do you wanna pick any object and hit me with it?

  • - Really?

  • - Yeah.

  • (laughing)

  • (rock music)

  • Welcome back to another episode of my show.

  • I'm Glamdora, VT dubs in case you forgot

  • it's totally cool cause we're friends right?

  • And now that you know, you're gonna click like

  • and subscribe and all that shit, yeah?

  • I don't know, I'm kinda worried that I'm like

  • not good at making new friends.

  • I've just been like hold up in my dungeon

  • watching reruns of Friends...

  • ("I'll Be There for You" by Rembrandts)

  • this episode is about friendship.

  • We're gonna have a lot of fun today, I hope.

  • Friends have fun together and take care of each other.

  • I don't know, I've eaten so many.

  • (burping)

  • Long story short, today's episode

  • is about making new friends.

  • (hip-hop music)

  • Let's face it Glam gang, new friends are hard to find.

  • You know when you're a kid, you're just friends

  • with anybody that's on the playground with you

  • and once you get older you're a little more discern

  • and you don't wanna be too discerned, you gotta be open.

  • Any who, here's some of the worst kinds

  • of friends to have in your life.

  • Friends that disappear as soon as

  • they get into a relationship, friends that are

  • only your friend because they kind of wanna have sex

  • with you and then when you tell them you don't want

  • to have sex with them, they stop paying for your meals

  • what the (beep), friends that send 40 short text

  • messages at once instead of putting it all into

  • one message, write it up in notes and send it

  • when you got it figured out, friends that want

  • to vent about their problems but don't want

  • to listen to advice and they ignore everything

  • else you say and then when you tell them

  • what's going on with you they're like,

  • actually that reminds me of me.

  • Shut up.

  • (beeping)

  • Now, I'm going to make a new friend the way

  • I always make a new friend, by inviting them

  • to talk to me in my creepy bedroom.

  • Any way, it's Rachel Evans.

  • This is my guest Rachel Evans,

  • she is best known for founding

  • the Youtube channel Snarled in 2015.

  • - I'm like really nervous right now.

  • (Rachel laughing)

  • - Why are you nervous?

  • Why are you nervous?

  • - Because I love you.

  • - I guess I am low key a Succubus

  • I do seduce people, how far do you wanna go today?

  • - I think that's up to you, I am at your mercy.

  • - I'm so glad that you recognize that.

  • (Glamdora hissing)

  • (beeping)

  • - Tell me where are you from?

  • - Originally I'm from Houston, Texas.

  • (Pee-Wee singing)

  • I used to collect bones, clean them, make little necklaces.

  • - My god, you love bones?

  • - I love bones.

  • - I love bones.

  • - Oh, cool.

  • - Do you like boners?

  • - I love boners.

  • - Me too.

  • - We have so much in common.

  • - I know.

  • - That's crazy.

  • - We're like mad connecting.

  • - Yeah wow.

  • - I was prepared to destroy you.

  • - Oh, wow if I had known that I wouldn't have come.

  • - Well maybe you will come.

  • - Hey, yeah.

  • - Are you mistress of the night?

  • - Oh, you know it.

  • - Well, I have just the game for you.

  • - Oh.

  • - You know how in horror movies or in scary situations

  • there's always like a weird noise, and then

  • everyone's like eh, it's just the wind.

  • - It's never just the wind.

  • - It's never just the wind except

  • for sometimes in this game it is.

  • This is a segment called Just the Wind.

  • - I feel like if I'm not able to tell

  • if something is wind or not then I deserve to be murdered.

  • In a horror movie, not in real life, please don't murder me.

  • I feel like they wouldn't add that.

  • (wind gusting)

  • Whoa.

  • - What was it?

  • - It's just the wind.

  • - It's just the wind.

  • - Yay!

  • (man groaning)

  • - Music to my ears.

  • - Hm, okay well this is a tough one

  • but in all of my experience wind

  • does not sound like it's being tortured.

  • This is not just the wind.

  • - You are right, it is a clip from

  • 100% organic a Crypt TV short.

  • (man groaning)

  • - I hope that person's dead.

  • (women laughing)

  • - Okay, next question.

  • (wind gusting)

  • - Zioks, I think it's just the wind.

  • - Well, you're kind of right but you're kind of wrong

  • cause it's not just the wind, it's a tornado.

  • (cow mooing)

  • Okay next.

  • (intense music)

  • (woman screaming)

  • (Rachel laughing)

  • - Oh man, that is not the wind.

  • I heard maybe some bones being crushed?

  • - You wish.

  • - Yeah, I do wish but I mean...

  • - I love crushing bones, I crush some

  • bones for breakfast and lunch...

  • - What about dinner?

  • What'd you have for dinner?

  • - Cheese.

  • - Just some cheese.

  • (women laughing)

  • - I'm filled up on bones, so...

  • - Shut up.

  • - Okay, it's not just...

  • - No, it's a clip from Mira.

  • (woman screaming)

  • Next.

  • (wind blowing)

  • - It is just the wind.

  • (hands clapping)

  • Thank you.

  • - You survived.

  • - What now?

  • - I have an idea, do you wanna play one of your games?

  • - Yes, I have...

  • - It's good to take turns that's

  • a lesson on sharing and friendship.

  • - Okay, so this is a great game to play on a first date

  • or like when you're trying to get to know somebody.

  • - Okay.

  • - So what I like to do is soul mate match

  • for people and their serial killers.

  • - Oh.

  • - Here are my questions, what kind of killer would you be?

  • Do you like the act of killing

  • or do you want the body afterwards?

  • - The act.

  • - Okay great, what's the point?

  • Why do you want to kill?

  • - I think it's mostly for sexual pleasure.

  • - Sexual pleasure, love that.

  • Okay great, so do you fancy yourself

  • lady lover, lady hater?

  • - Lady lover.

  • - Lady lover, wonderful.

  • You know what?

  • I'm gonna go a little bit crazy with this okay?

  • - Go crazy.

  • Go (beep) nuts.

  • - I'm going crazy right now.

  • (Bruce screaming)

  • How do you feel about the time period, like 1890s?

  • You love?

  • - That was one of the best decades of my life.

  • - Okay well I'm glad that it resonates deeply with you

  • because your serial killer is Carl Panzram.

  • - Oh, I've met him.

  • - Oh, Panzram?

  • - Yes.

  • - Oh, I love connecting old friends.

  • - Well thank you so much for that.

  • - No problem.

  • - I'm having so much fun I'd like to play another game.

  • Okay my game is called Horrigins.

  • (spooky music)

  • Because as you know, most of our earliest lessons

  • about friendship come from nursery rhymes

  • our parents and teachers tell us

  • but it turns out most of those nursery rhymes

  • aren't about friendship at all

  • they're about (beep) up things.

  • (Rachel laughing)

  • It's not funny.

  • - I'm excited.

  • - It's scary.

  • - You're right.

  • - Book please.

  • Alright, so what's gonna happen is

  • I'm going to give you a summary of a nursery rhyme

  • and you're gonna guess what nursery rhyme it is.

  • - Oh.

  • - And what it's about.

  • - I'm gonna be bad at this but I'm excited to do it.

  • - Bloody Mary burned a group of priest at the stake

  • for attempting to overthrow her.

  • That's what this nursery rhyme is about.

  • - Mary had a little lamb?

  • - No, Mary didn't have a little lamb

  • she had three blind mice.

  • (cheerful music)

  • - That's what this is about?

  • - Yes because there were three priest's

  • that attempted to overthrow her as queen

  • and they were burned at the stake.

  • - Yes god.

  • - They were referred to as blind mice

  • because of their religious beliefs.

  • - See how they run, I like it.

  • - I like it too, you're fun.

  • Okay, next question, the vikings bragged about

  • a victory where they slaughtered thousands...

  • - What?

  • Okay, I have not even...

  • (Glamdora humming)

  • What is that?

  • - It's London Bridge is Falling Down.

  • - Oh.

  • - Because in the early 1000s Olaf the second

  • of Norwegian destroyed the London Bridge in an attack

  • and the vikings traveled around

  • the world making the song wide spread.

  • - I always make a song after I kill thousands of people.

  • - Me too.

  • - I love a good jingle.

  • - You gotta remember, the moments in this life.

  • - Yeah, TBT.

  • - Okay, next, this one is a great one

  • and I really want you to get it.

  • - Oh, I doubt I will but I really

  • don't want to disappoint you.

  • - You'd think this is about a guy getting mangled

  • but it's actually about a big cannon.

  • - You think it's about a guy getting mangled?

  • - It's just about a silly little object just getting...

  • - Humpty dumpty?

  • (intense music)

  • - Yes.

  • - Really?

  • - Yes.

  • - I did it!

  • - Well see, during the English Civil War there was

  • a large cannon nicknamed Humpty.

  • ("The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground)

  • Can I show you my parlor?

  • - So soon?

  • - Yeah let's take it outside the bedroom

  • we're about to get nasty, yeah let's get real freaky.

  • Do you wanna pick any object and hit me with it?

  • - Really?

  • - Yeah.

  • - What am I going to hit you with?

  • - I don't know.

  • (object slapping)

  • - That's really...

  • Hey guys, thank you so much for joining us.

  • - Do you wanna sing a song together?

  • - I'd love to.

  • - You start.

  • - Okay, I think I love you.

  • What am I so afraid of?

  • I'm afraid that I'm not sure I (mumbles)...

  • - Our next segment is just the tip.

  • (mouth kissing)

  • Here are some tips on how to be a really good friend.

  • If your friend has food in their teeth,

  • you have to tell them, same for

  • a booger, don't just stare at it.

  • Carry a spare tampon, make a new friend in the bathroom.

  • It's actually how I got close to Stevie Nicks

  • but turns out she wasn't on her period it was for her nose.

  • If your friend's significant other is not good enough

  • for them, you have to tell them,

  • "Listen, Roger is a dork, and we can tell

  • that you hate him, you're just scared to be alone".

  • Don't make your friend watch early Crypt TV programming

  • no one deserves that, and that was just the tip.

  • (happy music)

  • Well, Rachel...

  • - Uh huh.

  • - You ready to play a little parlor game in my parlor?

  • - Yeah.

  • - We're gonna play a game called Rad Libs.

  • (retro music)

  • It's unlike any game that's ever

  • been heard of before in this century.

  • - No, I've never played a game.

  • So this is really huge for me.

  • - Stop lying to me.

  • - Okay.

  • - Okay, adjectives.

  • - Okay, slimy.

  • - Yes, yes, that's a very cool adjective, spooky.

  • Okay, number.

  • - Six.

  • - Okay, pretty classic, classic number.

  • Alright, plural noun.

  • - Apples.

  • (Rachel laughing)

  • Yelled it at you.

  • - Okay, apples.

  • Animal, don't say me.

  • - A bearded dragon.

  • - Exclamation.

  • - Oof.

  • - That's a really really good one.

  • A Crypt character.

  • - Hot dad from the Sunny...

  • - Hot dad from Sunny Family cult.

  • - Honey dad's hot father dad.

  • - Are you okay?

  • - Yeah, I had a melt down right there.

  • - Do you need anything?

  • - I'm very Jewish so this is generally

  • how I speak all the time.

  • - Celebrity.

  • - Christopher Walken.

  • - Verb.

  • - Swimming.

  • - Swim.

  • - Swim that's a verb.

  • - Like you're swimming in your own shit right now.

  • (Rachel laughing)

  • - Okay, body part.

  • - Pancreas.

  • - Restaurant.

  • - Denny's.

  • - Adjective.

  • - Wet.

  • - You are so (beep) nasty and I love it.

  • Band.

  • - The Cramps.

  • - Sing a song of them.

  • - It's all I got.

  • - Oh, I know that song.

  • - Yeah.

  • (Glamdora screaming)

  • - You're better at it than I am.

  • - Liquid.

  • - Nitrogen.

  • - Body part.

  • - Hands.

  • - Body part.

  • - Arm.

  • - Okay, occupation, don't be boring.

  • - Oh okay, financial adviser.

  • (both laughing)

  • - Thrilling.

  • Noun.

  • - A little fluff like a bunny.

  • A bunny.

  • - I'm gonna put down a little fluff.

  • - Thank you.

  • Trying to think of the word for

  • bunny and that's what I came up with.

  • - Verb.

  • - Ran.

  • - 90s celebrity.

  • - Joey Lawrence.

  • - Talk about your high beams whoa.

  • - Oh, okay adjective this is your

  • last adjective so make it good.

  • - Oh, sweaty.

  • - Sweaty.

  • - Oh, are you sweaty?

  • I love it.

  • (Glamdora laughing)

  • - And now, the final Rad Libs story, ready?

  • I'm so excited.

  • - Me too.

  • - Once upon a time a slimy man decided to eat

  • six apples he knew he could do it because

  • one time he swallowed a whole

  • bearded dragon and after shouted, "Oof".

  • His wife who looks like the hot dad from Sunny Family cults

  • mixed with Christopher Walken, told him that

  • if that he didn't she would swim

  • his pancreas in the bathroom of a Denny's,

  • which was his favorite restaurant.

  • When the day finally came he was wet but got himself

  • pumped up by listening to the Cramps.

  • - [Rachel] Yeah.

  • (Glamdora singing)

  • Yeah that's perfect.

  • - [Glamdora] And rubbing liquid nitrogen on his hands

  • - Oh no.

  • - Oof, am I right?

  • - Oof, indeed.

  • - And then his arm fell off and everyone started

  • vomiting, his wife left him for a financial advisor

  • that smells like a little fluff.

  • The moral of the story is don't punch if you can't run

  • because your life will end up like Joey Lawrence

  • and you'll die alone, anyway have a sweaty day.

  • - Oh, thank you am I.

  • (beeping)

  • - We're just laughing and laughing.

  • - Just laughing, loving, living.

  • - I hate to kick you out.

  • - Oh.

  • - Since we're getting along so well girlfriend.

  • You can plug whatever you want.

  • - Wow, you can follow me everywhere on the internet.

  • Twitter, Instagram at Rachel Evans or Rachel Samevans

  • it depends on how your brain works but mainly,

  • you can just follow me on Instagram

  • for pictures of my butt.

  • - Get the (beep) out of here.

  • - Okay.

  • - Well my little ding dongs that's the end

  • of our episode about making new friends.

  • I had so much fun with you today,

  • you're all my best friends in the world

  • and you know what best friends do right?

  • They like, they subscribe, they

  • buy merch, and they kill, kill.

  • Peace out.

  • (ominous music)

  • God I love that video, did you love that video?

  • If you did, click subscribe below right here on Crypt TV.

(beeping)

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