And I reallywantedtoescapethatfatebut I couldn't seeanywaytodoit.
Allthat I hadwasthiscrushingsenseofbeingadriftatseaandnotknowinghowtogetbacktoshore.
I couldseethefailure, I couldseethat I hadnoplan, that I nolongerknewhow I wasgonnagetwhere I wantedtogo.
And I didn't believethatthosewerethings I couldchangeaboutmyself.
Theyfeltlike a prisonsentenceorif I amhonestitfeltlike a deathsentence.
Anditwascomingtotherealizationthat I wasn't talented.
Thatreallyforcedmetolookfor a newmindsetthatwouldallowmetoescapedepressionbecause I wascomingtotheworldwithmyhandout, andaslongas I wascomingtotheworldwithmyhandout, I wasatthemercyofotherpeople.
I wantedtotakecontrol.
I wasgonnahavetotakecontroloftheresourcesandinthatwas a desiretofindanotherwaytothinkaboutit.
And I remembersayingtomyself: listenpussy, stopaskingyourselfwhattheleastyouneedtodoisandstartaskingyourselfhowmuchyoucanbear.
I begantodevelop a growthmindset.
I neededtobelievethatbyworkingreallyhardthat I cangetbetteratanything.
Ifthatweretrue, then I justneededtobuckledown.
I neededtopractice, I neededtogetgood, I neededtodothereps, I neededtoputintheeffort, I neededtobewillingtobreakmyselfinhalftogetsogoodthatpeoplecouldn't ignoreme.
Thewaytodothat: act. That's it. Youneedtogetoutthereanddosomething.
Rightnow, today. Literallystopthis f***ingvideo.
Andwhateveritis, ifyoualreadyhave a passion, youaresomuchfartheraheadthanthevastmajorityofhumankind.