I read the comics.

我看蜘蛛人漫畫。

I had the lunchbox.

我有蜘蛛人圖案的午餐盒。

I slept on a Spider-Man pillow until I was married, I think.

我到結婚前都還睡在蜘蛛人枕頭上。

[laughter]

[笑]

And now a dream I had on that pillow is about to come true.

現在，我睡在那枕頭上的夢終於要實現了。

Because on July 2, I will be part of the new Spider-Man movie.

因為 7 月 2 日我會出現在新的蜘蛛人電影裡。

Thank you.

謝謝大家。

[applause]

[掌聲]

Now, usually Marvel is very secretive about the footage, releasing scenes from these movies.

通常漫威對這些鏡頭、這些電影片段保密到家。

But in this case, for some reason, they were OK with me showing this exclusive extended excelsior scene from Spider-Man: Far From Home.

但因為某些原因，對於我公開這個《蜘蛛人：離家日》的獨家片段，他們沒有異議。

[music playing]

[播放配樂]

[ding]

[叮]

Hey, Joe.

嗨，Joe。

Picking up.

取衣。

Hey, Peter Parker, my number one customer.

嘿，Peter Parker，我的頭號顧客。

[applause]

[掌聲]

Fourth time this week.

這禮拜第四次了。

Yeah, well, you know me.

對，你了解我嘛！

I just love dry cleaning.

我就是喜歡乾洗。

That's what I love about you.

這就是為何我愛你。

A lot of these Millennials, they don't care about dry cleaning.

很多 80 後的年輕人都不乾洗。

They've got washing machines.

他們有洗衣機。

- It's disgusting, quite frankly. It really is. - It's sad, it's really sad.

- 其實滿噁心的，老實說。 - 非常可悲，真的。

Anyway, let me get your stuff here.

總之，我把你的衣服拿過來。

Oh.

噢。

That's you, right?

這是你的吧？

[laughter]

[笑]

- That's me, yes. - All right.

- 是我的沒錯。 - 好。

Thank you so much. Oh my god.

非常感謝你，天啊。

Hey, kid, listen.

嘿孩子，聽著。

It's, uh, not my business to get into your personal balls or whatever.

你的私事不甘我的事。

But can I ask you a question?

但我可以問個問題嗎？

Mmm, yeah, sure.

嗯嗯，當然可。

Why you get your pajamas cleaned every two days?

為何你兩天要洗一次睡衣？

[laughter]

[笑]

Because I, uh--I sweat a lot when I sleep.

因為我......我睡覺時流很多汗。

I have a sweaty syndrome.

我有流汗症候群。

- Sweaty sleep syndrome. - You're a sweaty Betty.

- 睡間盜汗症候群。 - 你是流汗寶寶。

[laughter] That's right.

[笑] 沒錯。

That's correct.

沒錯。

My brother was like that, you know.

我弟也是這樣。

- He was? Shame. - Oh, yeah.

- 是喔？真遺憾。 - 是啊。

He used to-- it was like a puddle.

他以前-- 就像一攤水一樣。

[laughter] We slept on bunk beds.

[笑] 我們睡上下舖。

He'd be on top dripping on me all night.

他睡在上鋪，整晚汗都滴在我身上。

- Oh, man. - It's disgusting.

- 天啊。 - 超噁。

It's not good.

真糟糕。

What about the holes?

那衣服上的洞呢？

The hole-- the holes?

洞？

Yeah, the holes.

對啊，洞。

It almost looked like if, uh, some kind of a mechanical octopus arm had taken a chunk out of the fabric.

看起來像某種機械章魚手臂把一大塊的布料抓破。

[laughter]

[笑]

That's easy to explain.

這很好解釋。

Um, it's the, uh, um--

嗯...這是...。

- Moths? - Moths.

- 飛蛾？ - 飛蛾。

- Massive moths, right. - That's what I thought it was.

- 巨大飛蛾，沒錯。 - 我也這麼認為。

Anyway, I don't see my mask in here.

總之，我沒看到我的面罩欸。

Do you have my mask?

有我的面罩嗎？

Oh, Connie, where's his mask?

Connie，他的面罩在哪？

Under the counter, stupid.

笨笨，在櫃台底下。

[laughter]

[笑]

Underneath-- oh, all right. All right.

下面......喔沒錯。

- Hey, Connie. - Oh, here we go.

- 嘿 Connie。 - 找到了。

That's you, right?

這是你的吧？

No, that's Matt's mask.

不，這是 Matt 的面罩 (夜魔俠)。

Mine's the one with the white eyes.

我的面罩眼部周圍是白色的。

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

噢，對對對對對。

All right, here you go.

好，給你。

That's Wade's mask.

那是 Wade 的面罩 (死侍)。

White eyes with--

白色眼睛還有--。

Connie, it's Wade's mask.

Connie，這是 Wade 的面罩。

OK, I don't care.

好，我不在乎。

Red one. Little red.

紅色、小紅那頂。

White eyes. That's you, right?

白色眼睛，你的吧？

Yeah, that's the one. Thank you.

對，就是這個，謝謝。

- Thank you. - Beautiful.

- 謝謝。 - 太棒了。

All right.

好。

Breaking news.

新聞快報。

New York's very own Spider-Man swung into action this afternoon on the Brooklyn Bridge, saving a bus full of senior citizens from certain death.

紐約的蜘蛛人今日下午於布魯克林大橋快速行「盪」，拯救載滿年長者的公車。

Thanks to the masked hero's efforts, all 35 people on the bus returned home safely.

由於這位蒙面英雄的努力，全車 35 人已安全返家。

[ominous music playing]

[播著不祥的配樂]

That nutball on TV, he's got the same goofy PJs you got.

電視上那瘋子有跟你一樣的可笑睡衣。

He does.

確實。

Hey, I know what's going on here.

嘿，我知道來龍去脈了。

You are an influencer.

你是個人物。

[laughter]

[笑]

What are you on, Instagram or Snapface?

IG 還是 Snapface 名人？

Snapface.

Snapface。

Yeah.

沒錯。

Connie, he's on Snapface.

Connie，他有玩 Snapface。

Oh, I like Snapface.

噢，我喜歡 Snapface。

[laughter]

[笑]

Hey, give the place a little plug maybe?

嘿，幫這裡打廣告一下？

- For sure. - That'd be great.

- 當然。 - 這樣就太好了。

Absolutely.

一定會的。

You truly are the best, and most gullible, dry cleaner in all of New York.

你是全紐約最好、最容易受騙的乾洗業者。

That's what they say.

他們都這麼說。

- That's what they say. - All right.

- 他們都這麼說。- 好。

- I'll see you tomorrow, kid. - I'll see you tomorrow.

- 孩子明天見啦。- 明天見。

Oh, hey, tell your buddy Banner to get some bigger pants.

噢，叫你朋友 Banner 穿大件一點的褲子 (浩克)。

He's busting through them like crazy.

他瘋狂穿爆這件褲子欸。

[laughter]

[笑]

He's pretty angry, but I'll try and tell him.

他很怒，但我會試著跟他說的。

I'm not a miracle worker.

我不是創造奇蹟的工人。

Yes, you are, Joe.

Joe，你是。

See you later.

待會見。

Thanks, kid.

謝啦孩子。

Hey, Connie, let's go in the back and make love.

嘿 Connie，我們到後面去親熱吧！

OK, Joe.

好的 Joe。

[laughter]

[笑]

[music playing]

[播放配樂]

[applause]

[掌聲]

Thanks, everybody.

謝謝各位。

I'm pretty happy with myself too.

我也很滿意我的演出。

Thanks.

謝啦。

If you liked that video, click the subscribe button, but only if you're ready for commitment.

喜歡這支影片的話，按下訂閱吧！但準備要有所貢獻。