He's a piece of shit.

What?

Mike doesn't have jack shit to do today, and his nana obviously isn't sick.

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are playing Atari right now.

But friends don't lie.

Yeah, well, boyfriends lie.

All the time.

She knows I'm lying.

She knows I'm lying.

I don't even understand.

Why lie?

Hopper, he threatened me.

Did he say he'd kill you?

What? No.

So what's the big deal?

The big deal is if I don't do what he says, then he'll stop me from seeing El, like permanently.

You don't understand, Lucas.

He's crazy.

He's lost his mind.

Hey guys, I'm almost set up here.

I had no choice, Lucas.

I really had no choice.

I just wish you consulted me because the way you handled this...

You're in deep shit.

You're going to stop calling him.

You're going to ignore his calls.

As far as you're concerned, he doesn't exist.

Doesn't exist?

He treated you like garbage.

You're gonna treat him like garbage.

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Give him the medicine.

And if he doesn't fix this, if he doesn't explain himself, dump his ass.

I'm not gonna lie.

It's gonna be bad.

So, what do you think?

Hey, what's wrong?

Too many people.

Against the rules.

Seriously?

You have superpowers.

What's the worst that could happen?

So what should we do first?

You've never been shopping before, have you?

Well, then I guess we're just gonna have to try everything.

Oh, come on.

Do you like that?

How do I know what I like?

You just try things on until you find something that feels like you.

Like me?

Yeah.

Not Hopper, not Mike.

You.

You must be an angel.

I can see it in your eyes.

Full of wonder and surprise.

And just now I realize.

Oh, you found Ralph Macchio.

Macchio?

Yeah, he's the Karate Kid.

He's so hot, right?

I bet he's an amazing kisser, too.

Hey, uh, is Mike a good kisser?

I don't know.

He's my first boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

Hey, don't worry about it, okay?

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness.

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are like totally wallowing in self pity and misery by going, "Oh, I hope they take us back."

God, what I wouldn't give to see their stupid faces.

What is it?

Is this really gonna work?

Holy shit, this is insane.

Max.

Yeah, quiet, sorry.

What did I do wrong?

I don't know.

But what did I do wrong?

What could I have done wrong?

Mike, please, do I have to go through this again?

I see them.

What are they doing?

Eating.

I just don't understand what I did to deserve this.

Nothing.

That's my whole point.

You're the victim here.

I know, it's just why is she treating me this way?

I don't know.

Mike.

What did I do wrong?

- What did I do wrong？ - Mike, stop.

Relax.

Just relax.

Okay, stop asking irrational questions.

I know.

You're right.

Because women act on emotion and not logical.

Precisely.

It's a totally different species.

They say we are species.

What?

Emotion, not logic.

What?

Guys, it's ready.

Will, not right now.

They broke up with you.

What else is there to talk about?

Tons.

Yeah, we're trying to solve the great mystery of the female species.

Dude, you can smell the nacho cheese.

I got that beat.

What?

Oh, no.

No, Lucas, no.

No.

Lucas!

Oh god!

What happened?

Who is that?

See, this is why you can't just hang out with Mike all the time.

This is Wonder Woman, A.K.A. Princess Diana.

She's from Paradise Island, which is like this hidden island where there are only women Amazon warriors.