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  • JAY-KWELIN. - HERE.

  • - YOU ARE PRESENT? BA-LAKAY.

  • - UH, HERE. - UH-HUH.

  • DE-NICE. - HERE.

  • - GOOD.

  • JE-SEEKA.

  • THANK YOU.

  • - MR. GARVEY?

  • - WHAT IS IT, A-ARON?

  • - SOME OF US NEED TO LEAVE A FEW MINUTES EARLY TODAY.

  • - OH.

  • OH, IS THAT SO? - MM-HMM.

  • - AND WHAT, PRAY TELL...

  • IS THE REASON FOR THIS PREMATURE EXODUS?

  • - YEARBOOK PHOTOS.

  • UM, WE HAVE TO LEAVE 15 MINUTES EARLY

  • TO MEET UP WITH OUR CLUBS.

  • - [chuckles] OKAY.

  • ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • THAT MIGHT WORK WITH OTHER SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS,

  • BUT I TAUGHT IN THE INNER CITY

  • FOR OVER 20 YEARS.

  • NOW, Y'ALL WANNA LEAVE MY CLASS EARLY

  • SO Y'ALL CAN GO MEET UP AT "THE CLUB."

  • AIN'T NONE OF Y'ALL OLD ENOUGH

  • TO GO TO THE DAMN CLUB!

  • RIDICULOUS.

  • - MR. GARVEY? - DUMB SON OF A BITCH!

  • DID I ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-STUTTER?

  • - JUST THEN, YES.

  • - I'M GONNA THROW YOU OUT THE GODDAMN WINDOW!

  • WHAT, JAY-KWELIN?

  • - MR. GARVEY, WE'RE-- WE'RE TELLING THE TRUTH.

  • WE--WE HAVE CLUBS AT THE SCHOOL.

  • WE HAVE CLUBS FOR SPECIAL INTERESTS.

  • - OKAY, I SEE. SO Y'ALL WANNA PLAY.

  • Y'ALL WANNA PLAY.

  • YEAH, OKAY, WE GONNA PLAY LITTLE GAMES.

  • FINE. I'LL PLAY.

  • I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO PLAY SOME GAMES WITH Y'ALL.

  • ANYONE WHO'S IN A CLUB... STAND YOUR ASS UP.

  • UH-HUH. OH, YEAH, THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS.

  • THE USUAL SUSPECTS.

  • WHAT THE HELL CLUB ARE YOU IN, JAY-KWELIN?

  • - FUTURE LEADERS OF AMERICA.

  • - OKAY, OKAY.

  • HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A LEADER

  • IN THE FUTURE?

  • IS THERE A STARGATE IN YOUR BEDROOM?

  • CAN YOU TRAVEL THROUGH TIME, JAY-KWELIN?

  • - NO. - THEN SIT THE FLIP DOWN!

  • BA-LAKAY, I-- HERE'S THE THING.

  • I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M ABOUT TO ASK YOU THIS.

  • B-LAKAY, WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN?

  • - UM, PART OF THE SPANISH CLUB.

  • - SPAN--THE SP-- YOU ABOUT AS SPANISH

  • AS REE-ON SEACREST,

  • WITH YOUR BIG-ASS FRAGGLE ROCK HAIR!

  • HOW 'BOUT YOU, DE-NICE?

  • - I'M IN THE CHESS CLUB.

  • - UH, I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART,

  • YOU ARE NOT IN THE CHEST CLUB.

  • THE "MOSQUITO BITE CLUB," MAYBE.

  • - AH, THAT'S HURTFUL. - TRUTHFUL.

  • THERE HE IS.

  • A-ARON... - HEY.

  • - WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN?

  • - I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE GLEE CLUB.

  • WHY DID I TALK?

  • - THE GLEE CLUB? AAH!

  • LIKE THEY GONNA HAVE A CLUB

  • DEDICATED TO A TV SHOW!

  • TAKE YOUR ASS TO O-SHAG-HANNESSEY'S OFFICE

  • RIGHT NOW, BEFORE I BUST A CLUB

  • UP IN YOUR BUTT! - OKAY.

  • - GO! - [crying] OKAY, I'M GONNA GO.

  • - MISCHIEVOUS AND DECEITFUL!

  • CHICANEROUS AND DEPLORABLE.

  • - THIS IS PRINCIPAL O'SHAUGHNESSY.

  • STUDENTS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE GYMNASIUM

  • FOR YOUR CLUB PHOTOS. - FAKE ANNOUNCEMENT.

  • NOW, DOES ANYBODY IN HERE HAVE A VALID REASON

  • FOR LEAVING THIS CLASSROOM? T-MOTHY.

  • - I GOTTA PICK UP MY DAUGHTER. - YOU'RE EXCUSED.

JAY-KWELIN. - HERE.

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