You know that.

But I do things the same as you.

And I went the other day to do some shopping.

And just like you, I go in for one thing and then I end up with 40 things.

And unlike you, I pay with a gold bar, but...

I noticed while I was shopping that sometimes stores have regular products, but then they have lady products.

Have you noticed that?

Which is the same thing, but pink.

And they have pink razors, and they have pink deodorant.

And now I found something else that comes...

Here's the first thing right there.

It is a gentle laxative tablet.

And I won't tell you why I bought them, I'll just tell you who I bought them for, Mary.

Well, you asked me to buy them, Mary.

Let's call that exhibit A, because I don't want to say the word laxative again.

And then this is here.

This is exhibit B, women's gentle laxative tablets in pink, of course.

That's how you know it's safe for a lady to take.

Both bottles are the same price because they have the same thing inside.

I'm kidding.

The pink one has 40 fewer tablets.

I know that's not a good deal, because I ask a man to do the math.

This is insane.

Same amount of money, 40 less tablets.

That's not the most ridiculous thing I found.

Because then I went over to Office Depot.

I didn't need anything, but I just wanted to sniff the markers.

And then I found this.

And it's a super cute emergency escape hammer.

If you get in a car accident, you can use this to cut your seat belt or break a window.

As you can see, it's pink and shiny.

That's why I was immediately drawn to it.

And if you look right here, it says, get out, girl.

No, you get out, super cute emergency escape hammer.

Apparently, the lady car accidents are adorable.

And there's not even a mirror.

How am I supposed to check my makeup after I drive into a lake?

I don't understand.

They sell a non-lady version that looks like this, but that's yellow.

That doesn't make me want to get it.

Plus, how do I get my little lady hands around something this big?

The yellow hammer's $8.

The pink one is $12.

Once again, we're paying more for less.

We don't want pink hammers.

We don't want pink laxatives.

We want the same thing for the same price.

And a changing room with decent lighting.

That's what we want.

And a Friends reunion, that's what we want.

We're going to make that happen.