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  • FIRST OF ALL, "QUICKLY AND HUMANELY" MAKES IT SOUND LIKE 00:00:46.946 --> 00:00:50.216 align:start position:0% YOU'RE PUTTING THE FAMILY PET TO SLEEP. 00:00:50.249 --> 00:00:53.786 align:start position:0% "I'M SORRY, KIDS, HONG KONG HAS HIP DYSPLASIA. 00:00:53.819 --> 00:01:00.026 align:start position:0% AND THOSE TANKS ARE JUST HERE TO TAKE IT TO A FARM UPSTATE."

  • SECOND, ENDING THE TWEET WITH "PERSONAL MEETING?" MEANS WHAT? 00:01:07.266 --> 00:01:09.135 align:start position:0% (AS TRUMP) "MY COUSIN'S A CATERER IN A VERY 00:01:09.168 --> 00:01:12.605 align:start position:0% TOUGH BUSINESS AND IF YOU WANT A TUXEDO, HE CAN GET IT VERY 00:01:12.638 --> 00:01:14.740 align:start position:0% SAFELY AND HUMANELY. 00:01:14.773 --> 00:01:29.188 align:start position:0% WEDDING?" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 00:01:29.221 --> 00:01:32.792 align:start position:0% LATER, IN A RARE TWEET CORRECTION, THE PRESIDENT 00:01:32.825 --> 00:01:36.262 align:start position:0% CLARIFIED THAT HE DIDN'T MEAN INVOLVED, TWEETING, "IF 00:01:36.295 --> 00:01:38.631 align:start position:0% PRESIDENT XI WOULD MEET DIRECTLY AND PERSONALLY WITH THE

  • PROTESTERS, THERE WOULD BE A HAPPY AND ENLIGHTENED ENDING TO 00:01:41.834 --> 00:01:47.140 align:start position:0% THE HONG KONG PROBLEM.ñ I HAVE NO DOUBT!" 00:01:47.173 --> 00:01:50.610 align:start position:0% (AS TRUMP) "YES, AUTOCRATS SHOULD MEET 00:01:50.643 --> 00:01:52.712 size:88% position:44% WITH THEIR ANGRY PROTESTORS.

  • NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO HOLD A RALLY WHERE ANYONE WHO 00:01:55.748 --> 00:01:59.352 align:start position:0% BOOS WILL GET CARRIED OUT IN A STRETCHER." 00:01:59.385 --> 00:02:07.160 size:81% position:41% BESIDES, THERE ARE 500,000 PRO-DEMOCRACY PROTESTERS. 00:02:07.193 --> 00:02:08.828 align:start position:0% HOW IS THAT MEETING GOING TO WORK? 00:02:08.861 --> 00:02:12.265 align:start position:0% (AS XI) "HI, EVERYBODY, I'M XI, 00:02:12.298 --> 00:02:14.167 align:start position:0% PRESIDENT FOR LIFE. 00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:15.701 size:81% position:41% THIS IS THE TALKING STICK. 00:02:15.734 --> 00:02:21.841 align:start position:0% WHOEVER HAS THE STICK, GETS TO TALK. 00:02:21.874 --> 00:02:23.142 size:81% position:41% THIS IS THE HITTING STICK. 00:02:23.175 --> 00:02:26.612 size:88% position:44% ANYONE WHO TALKS, GETS HIT." 00:02:26.645 --> 00:02:39.025 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 00:02:39.058 --> 00:02:42.995 align:start position:0% EVEN MORE DISTURBING, IN THE RUN-UP TO THE G-20 SUMMIT, TRUMP

  • SURPRISED HIS AIDES WHEN HE TOLD XI THAT HE WOULD NOT CONDEMN THE 00:02:45.931 --> 00:02:49.035 size:78% position:39% CHINESE GOVERNMENT OVER A CRACKDOWN IN HONG KONG. 00:02:49.068 --> 00:02:55.541 align:start position:0% (AS TRUMP) "AND I'M PROUD TO BE THE 00:02:55.574 --> 00:02:57.843 align:start position:0% PRESIDENT, AND TO HELP MY BEST BUD XI, AND IF HE CRUSH

  • PROTESTORS, YOU WON'T HEAR SQUAT FROM ME, AND I'D PROUDLY SIT'c■

  • DOWN NEXT TO HIM AND IGNORE THE PROTEST CRIES, 'CUZ THERE AIN'T 00:03:08.487 --> 00:03:22.635 align:start position:0% NO DOUBT I WANT A DEAL FOR CHINESE-MADE TRUMP TIIIIES! "e1 00:03:22.668 --> 00:03:26.439 align:start position:0% ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ 00:03:26.472 --> 00:03:27.406 align:start position:0% DOESN'T MATTER. 00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:28.007 align:start position:0% OPPORTUNITY MATTER. 00:03:28.040 --> 00:03:29.175 align:start position:0% >> Jon: WOW. 00:03:29.208 --> 00:03:29.709 align:start position:0% WOW. 00:03:29.742 --> 00:03:30.343 align:start position:0% THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. 00:03:30.376 --> 00:03:31.777 size:84% position:42% >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON. 00:03:31.810 --> 00:03:32.444 align:start position:0% THANK YOU JON.

  • >> Jon: THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. 00:03:34.079 --> 00:03:35.681 align:start position:0% >> Stephen: THANK YOU. 00:03:35.714 --> 00:03:37.016 align:start position:0% >> Jon: WOW. 00:03:37.049 --> 00:03:38.017 align:start position:0% ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I DIDN'T REALIZE 00:03:38.050 --> 00:03:38.884 align:start position:0% DONALD TRUMP HAD SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. 00:03:38.918 --> 00:03:42.588 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S SOMETHING HORRIFYING: 00:03:42.621 --> 00:03:45.157 align:start position:0% IOWA REPRESENTATIVE AND MASTER RACE BAITER, STEVE KING.

  • YESTERDAY, AT A CONSERVATIVE EVENT IN IOWA, KING ARGUED IN 00:03:50.429 --> 00:03:53.966 align:start position:0% FAVOR OF AN ABORTION BAN WITH ZERO EXCEPTIONS. 00:03:53.999 --> 00:03:54.533 size:88% position:44% AND HIS JUSTIFICATION WAS... 00:03:54.566 --> 00:03:57.236 align:start position:0% UNIQUE.

  • >> WHAT IF WE WENT BACK THROUGH ALL THE FAMILY TREES AND JUST 00:03:59.638 --> 00:04:01.841 align:start position:0% PULLED THOSE PEOPLE OUT THAT WERE PRODUCTS OF RAPE AND 00:04:01.874 --> 00:04:03.409 align:start position:0% INCEST?

  • WOULD THERE BE ANY POPULATION OF THE WORLD LEFT IF WE DID THAT?

  • CONSIDERING ALL THE WARS AND ALL THE RAPES AND PILLAGES THAT HAS 00:04:09.715 --> 00:04:11.784 size:78% position:39% TAKEN PLACE AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CULTURE AFTER 00:04:11.817 --> 00:04:13.219 align:start position:0% SOCIETY.

  • I KNOW I CAN'T CERTIFY THAT I'M NOT A PART OF A PRODUCT OF THAT! 00:04:19.224 --> 00:04:20.459 align:start position:0% ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> Stephen: YOU KNOW -- YOU 00:04:20.492 --> 00:04:22.295 align:start position:0% KNOW -- UH, SHOCKING, IT'S SHOCKING, BUT 00:04:22.328 --> 00:04:23.663 align:start position:0% LISTENING AT STEVE KING, I CAN BUY HE WAS A PRODUCT OF 00:04:23.696 --> 00:04:28.234 align:start position:0% INBREEDING. 00:04:28.267 --> 00:04:31.170 align:start position:0% ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW... 00:04:31.203 --> 00:04:37.576 size:84% position:42% HERE'S SOMETHING I MIGHT BE SAYING FOR THE LASTfá TIME.

  • THERE'S NEWS ABOUT PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND PHANTOM OF THE 00:04:38.944 --> 00:04:40.546 size:88% position:44% BREW PUB, JOHN HICKENLOOPER. 00:04:40.579 --> 00:04:42.381 size:88% position:44% LAST NIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT HICKENLOOPER WAS CONSIDERING 00:04:42.414 --> 00:04:44.283 align:start position:0% DROPPING OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE. 00:04:44.316 --> 00:04:48.087 align:start position:0% TONIGHT, I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I WAS RIGHT. 00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:51.691 align:start position:0% TAKE A LOOK AT HISc >> A LITTLE OVER SIX MONTHS AGO 00:04:51.724 --> 00:04:53.426 align:start position:0% I ANNOUNCED MY RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

  • IN ALMOST EVERY REGARD, THIS JOURNEY HAS BEEN MORE EXCITING 00:04:58.230 --> 00:05:00.866 align:start position:0% AND MORE REWARDING THAN I HAVE EVER IMAGINED. 00:05:00.899 --> 00:05:04.337 align:start position:0% ALTHOUGH OF COURSE I DID IMAGINE A VERY DIFFERENT CONCLUSION. 00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:08.541 align:start position:0% >> STEPHEN: YOU DID? 00:05:08.574 --> 00:05:09.475 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE THIS IS GOING ABOUT HOW 00:05:09.508 --> 00:05:11.177 size:75% position:38% THE REST OF US EXPECTED. 00:05:11.210 --> 00:05:13.145 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A SHAME TOO, BECAUSE I 00:05:13.178 --> 00:05:19.218 align:start position:0% NEVER REALIZED HIS NAME WAS SO CLOSE TO CHICKEN COOPER. 00:05:19.251 --> 00:05:21.220 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) A JOKE I'LL NEVER GET TO USE. 00:05:21.253 --> 00:05:23.889 align:start position:0% BUT NOW IT'S COME TO AN END, AND IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO LEAVE. 00:05:23.922 --> 00:05:27.326 align:start position:0% YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, IT PROBABLY 00:05:27.359 --> 00:05:31.163 size:78% position:39% WASN'T JOHN HICKENLOOPER. 00:05:31.196 --> 00:05:33.432 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) SO, NOW, IN HONOR OF HIS 00:05:33.465 --> 00:05:41.941 align:start position:0% DEPARTURE FROM THE RACE, WE BID A FOND FAREWELL. 00:05:41.974 --> 00:05:45.578 align:start position:0% ♪ ♪ I WILL REMEMBER YOU ♪ 00:05:45.611 --> 00:05:52.184 align:start position:0% ♪ WAIT -- ACTUALLY, WHO ARE YOU ♪ 00:05:52.217 --> 00:06:00.226 align:start position:0% ♪ I REMEMBER YOU HAD A FUNNY NAME

  • ♪ I WANTfá TO SAY HOPPINGSCOTCH. 00:06:06.632 --> 00:06:07.733 align:start position:0% AM I CLOSE? 00:06:07.766 --> 00:06:09.902 align:start position:0% ♪ >> I WAS OUT OF WORK FOR TWO 00:06:09.935 --> 00:06:14.707 align:start position:0% WHOLE YEARS --e1 ♪ WHO ARE YOU AGAIN? 00:06:14.740 --> 00:06:19.678 align:start position:0% ♪ REMIND ME ♪ 00:06:19.711 --> 00:06:20.045 align:start position:0% >> WHAT A NIGHT. 00:06:20.078 --> 00:06:21.547 align:start position:0% I LOVED IT. 00:06:21.580 --> 00:06:26.786 align:start position:0% ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT 00:06:26.819 --> 00:06:27.387 align:start position:0% SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

FIRST OF ALL, "QUICKLY AND HUMANELY" MAKES IT SOUND LIKE 00:00:46.946 --> 00:00:50.216 align:start position:0% YOU'RE PUTTING THE FAMILY PET TO SLEEP. 00:00:50.249 --> 00:00:53.786 align:start position:0% "I'M SORRY, KIDS, HONG KONG HAS HIP DYSPLASIA. 00:00:53.819 --> 00:01:00.026 align:start position:0% AND THOSE TANKS ARE JUST HERE TO TAKE IT TO A FARM UPSTATE."

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