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  • Imagine if you could measure your attractiveness to Japanese women with a simple test -

  • a simple list of desired physical and personality traits.

  • Well now, you can!

  • An article in a Japanese woman's magazine recently caused a stir online

  • after it revealed the characteristics of the perfect man.

  • Today, we're going to go through that list and uncover the secrets to success together.

  • And to help us understand why Japanese girls find some of these weird and wacky traits appealing,

  • we're going to be interrogating a real-life Japanese girl,

  • my good friend Chiaki, who you may have seen a few years back in our previous groundbreaking expose

  • on how to date Japanese girls.

  • I'll be keeping a score out of 26 as we go through and so should you and perhaps we can find this 'perfect hypothetical man'.

  • Who knows? He could be could be, uh...

  • He could be sitting right here ;)

  • ... Or maybe it's you.

  • Anyway. Pen and paper at the ready - let's go.

  • Chiaki! Good to see you again.

  • Hi! Nice to see you again.

  • Well, our once in every four year meet up.

  • But today I've got a list of 26 traits that

  • Japanese women allegedly like in a guy.

  • Uh, we're going to go through each one and hopefully you can tell us a bit about why that trait is on the list,

  • and while we're doing that, we're gonna keep a score and see how many of those traits that I actually have.

  • So you take that, you keep score.

  • Obviously the number is going to be pretty high because...

  • --Oh. You think so?

  • ... obviously.

  • Uh, so,

  • just don't run out of any ink.

  • So, trait number one: 'the ideal man is good at cooking a rice omelet'.

  • That's very specific, isn't it?

  • --Yeah, it is.

  • Um, now I can cook an omelet very well, but I can't cook rice.

  • Okay...

  • I seem to always mess it up and it turned into like a risotto.

  • It goes all watery and horrible. --Ohh, right.

  • So... off to a great start.

  • Why do you think of all the dishes- Why do you think it's- it's rice omelet?

  • I think that's because all children like it.

  • --Right.

  • And we try "omuraisu" when we are tired.

  • So if a guy cooked it - I think that's a really cute.

  • --Right. There you go then. Rice omelet.

  • Well, you can't cook it, so I'm gonna...

  • tick 'no'...

  • Brilliant. Off to a great start.

  • Fail.

  • 'The ideal guy is always smiling'.

  • Yes!

  • Would you want to date someone who's always smiling?

  • If you smile unnecessarily every single minute, that's awkward.

  • --Exactly. Say you fall down the stairs.

  • --Yeah.

  • into a bucket of knives

  • --Yeah.

  • and I'm smiling.

  • Yeah.

  • I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend, would I? Yeah?

  • That- That seems like a stupid point.

  • Yeah.

  • Stupid.

  • Glad I'm not always smiling. Yeah, I don't think...

  • Yeah, that's a fail...

  • 'The ideal guy currently works part-time at a cafe'.

  • Right. Why is that there? I don't understand that.

  • --I kind of understand.

  • I think girls love cafes in Japan - like all Japanese girls love to go to a cafe

  • and if guys are working there, that's cute.

  • Right...

  • Like... And if you're handsome working at a cafe...

  • --Okay, like... Wow.

  • Right...

  • I mean, let's just...

  • This is...

  • I mean, I suppose if if you work part-time at cafe, there's a good chance you're gonna be smiling a lot

  • because you need to get the tips in,

  • and there's a good chance you're gonna be able to cook a ni- a rice omelet.

  • --So

  • they seem like a very specific type of person

  • Yeah.

  • --And so far of the three

  • I haven't got a single one of those traits. Brilliant.

  • --No, you haven't gotten any yet.

  • --'The ideal guy wants to get married someday'.

  • Um...

  • No.

  • I don't...

  • I don't wanna do that either.

  • Oh, you don't want to get married in the future? --No...

  • I'll be too busy working part-time at a cafe to have such luxuries

  • as marriage... and love.

  • I did date a Japanese girl once

  • and after dating for a month the word 'marriage' started coming up an awful lot in conversation.

  • After one month?

  • After one month.

  • Yeah, so after 25 or...

  • if you reach 30,

  • like, everyone expects that you have to get married.

  • I heard there's like this expression, isn't there?

  • There's an expression that you're a 'Christmas cake'.

  • --Christmas cake! Yes.

  • --'Christmaski'-

  • After 25 years old,

  • after the 25th of December

  • Christmas cakes go on discount and nobody wants a Christmas cake anymore or something.

  • It's quite...

  • It's quite sinister.

  • It's a bit sad, yeah.

  • There's a sense of pressure to get married.

  • Yeah, there's a lot of pressure.

  • --Or to be on the path to marriage by 25 years old.

  • Yes.

  • That's why if you think about marriage when you have a relationship, girls will be 'Yes!'

  • Girls will be 'yes'.

  • That'll be another good t-shirt - 'girls will be yes'.

  • 'The ideal guy likes eating meat and meaty dishes.'

  • Yes, finally!

  • Oh!

  • That-- yes. Tick. Put that down. Yes.

  • Why do you think that is? What's- what's- what's appealing about eating meat?

  • I mean, I get it.

  • --That's because eating meat is manly.

  • Is it?

  • Eating little by little vegetables...

  • like...

  • *manly eating noises*

  • with the meat, I would be like: wow, manly!

  • Manly.

  • --Um,

  • 'The ideal guy often rolls up the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirts'. Hah!

  • *kaching* Look at that.

  • --Yeah.

  • Get in. Stumped!

  • Ohh?

  • Rolled up, innit.

  • Kind of...

  • -- And I didn't-

  • I didn't read that and then do it - my sleeves were rolled up.

  • You can go back look at the start the video.

  • Why is that though? That's really weird.

  • --But I understand like...

  • it looks cool?

  • It does look cool.

  • Like a little bit stylish if you roll it up. --Little bit stylish, yes.

  • If that shirt is white, it was better, but...

  • --'The ideal guy loves Cola.'

  • I don't- I don't-

  • First of all, I don't like Cola.

  • I always feel a sense of guilt whenever I drink it,

  • because I feel my teeth eroding - I feel like I'm just getting fat.

  • Why is that on the list? That's really specific.

  • It's because that comes from foreign.

  • It's like, it's not Japanese product - like Calpis.

  • --Right.

  • If a guy has Calpis,

  • okay, that's a Japanese product.

  • But if he has coke:

  • 'Oh!'

  • That's from America, or that's from England. --Oh...

  • --Really?

  • Yeah.

  • --So you're telling me,

  • if I'm walking down the street in Japan with a can of coke,

  • I'm increasing my chances of...

  • You know, having a girl talk to me.

  • Uhh, I think so.

  • --It's like because it is called in English, that's cool.

  • --Right.

  • It's out th- You're definitely being funded by coke...

  • It's starting to feel like Stranger Things - its product placement for coke.

  • 'The ideal guy has a lot of friends'.

  • Boom, I've got 1.3 million, almost.

  • 1.3 million friends.

  • Yes! That's- yes! --Definitely.

  • Are you my friend?

  • You are my friend.

  • --Awesome.

  • 'The ideal guy is kind and gentle'! Tick.

  • --Yes.

  • No.

  • What do you mean 'no'?

  • Fail...

  • 'The ideal guy is a member of an athletic club as opposed to an art club'.

  • Can we include any clubs that I've done in my entire life?

  • --Or does it have to be now?

  • ... Now.

  • Oh. Nope.

  • That's a no.

  • I cycled across Japan?

  • That might count if you carried on. Did you finish?

  • I finished the cycle. I don't cycle now, though.

  • Oh...

  • Fail.

  • 'The ideal guy is thin and muscular'.

  • --Uhh........

  • Fail...

  • Harsh. That's harsh

  • 'The ideal guy will give you accessories for your birthday present'.

  • No, I despise accessories.

  • I usually take girls out for like a dinner or travel or something.

  • I like to focus on experiences rather than material things

  • --Yeah.

  • So if you can give a girl

  • accessories and a nice dinner,

  • that'll be perfect.

  • --Yeah but, I can't afford both.

  • You can't have a nice accessory and dinner. It has to be one or the other.

  • --What would you rather have?

  • I want... something.

  • Accessory.

  • --So material items are more of a thing.

  • Yeah, I can keep it,

  • and I will think 'oh, this is from my boyfriend'.

  • --Yeah.

  • Every time I look at it. 'Oh. This is from my boyfriend'.

  • Yeah, but think of a nice meal at McDonald's.

  • How, you know, if you go to McDonald's, that memory will last a lifetime.

  • --A nice meal, you know?

  • Whereas a bit of- an accessory, that'll be gone in two years.

  • Lost or something, innit?

  • Uh, 'the ideal guy has a short hairstyle'.

  • Yes!

  • --It's a bit long...

  • But is this... short enough?

  • Mm, I think...

  • This bit is a bit long.

  • Right.

  • --Yeah...

  • --Why is a short hairstyle good?

  • That looks like... like...

  • a boy...

  • 'It looks like a boy'. Brilliant.

  • --So I don't look like a boy.

  • I do notice, though, most of my Japanese friends do have short hair.

  • It does seem to be like, the fashion in Japan - not to have facial hair and to have kind of short hair.

  • I think Japanese girls like 'sawayaka boys'.

  • Refreshing - invigorating.

  • So like, the breeze suits him.

  • So if you have short hair,

  • *breeze noises*

  • Yes.

  • --Yes...

  • So I'm not refreshing...

  • Umm, close.

  • That's that one out the window as well.

  • Um, 'the ideal guy has black hair'.

  • Nope, can't do that. That doesn't look right on me.

  • But we like light brown color as well.

  • --Alright...

  • ... But do I get that one?

  • Uhh, this is... No.

  • Right. Brilliant.

  • --'The ideal guy asks, "Are you okay?" when you're feeling bad'.

  • My girlfriend was once upset on Valentine's Day,

  • uhh, when I bought her some post-it notes as a gift.

  • Now, you could debate whether or not it was appropriate to buy her post-it notes on Valentine's Day.

  • But, I did ask her if she was okay.

  • ... while she was visibly agitated, so...

  • I think that's a tick.

  • Oh is it?

  • Is it? Yeah.

  • Tick.

  • Tick!

  • ... Alright...

  • And that's definitely not me being desperate.

  • --'The ideal guy limits his clothes purchases to 10000 yen per month', which is about $90.

  • Yes!

  • I probably spend about $50 a year on clothes.

  • A year!?

  • A year. I don't do clothes well - as you can tell.

  • Uh, so yes! I get a tick there.

  • --I get that one.

  • Yeah.

  • Brilliant! About time.

  • It's been about half an hour since the last tick.

  • Why do you think that is?

  • It's just- I just thought that be the opposite,

  • because Japanese girls quite like fashion.

  • Yeah.

  • --Wouldn't it be attractive to have a guy who spends like over a hundred dollars a month on clothes?

  • But also simple is the best.

  • Simple is the best.

  • But the next point kind of contradicts that, right?

  • 'The ideal guy spends a lot of time in the Harajuku neighborhood'.

  • Harajuku is the shopping district in Tokyo.

  • All the points we've had so far, all right, kind of masculine.

  • But a masculine guy isn't gonna go and spend lots of time around Harajuku. Surely?

  • Not really...

  • Contradictory lists! Stupid.

  • You know what, but if you're simple and go to Harajuku like this,

  • you'll be stand out.

  • Really?

  • I think so.

  • What, for my shit fashion?

  • Your shit fashion will stand out.

  • My shit fashion will stand out.

  • --Walking through Harajuku and my shit fashion, coke in hand...

  • 'The ideal guy prefers navy blue or white clothing'.

  • Don't get it. I don't do white clothing. 'Cause, no...

  • That's all related to refresh.

  • Refresh.

  • --Yeah.

  • The word 'refresh' is a key word.

  • So I'm not refr- I basically look quite dirty because I wear black clothing all the time.

  • You don't...

  • Be- You are not categorized as 'refresh'.

  • --I'm not categorized as...

  • refreshing.

  • That's the most horrible thing anyone has ever said to me.

  • I'm sorry!

  • That I'm not refreshing.

  • --I'm so sorry...!

  • --I feel...

  • I feel awful.

  • I feel awful now...

  • 'The ideal guy is the oldest son out of his siblings'.

  • Yes!

  • --Are you?

  • Through no fault of my own - through sheer luck, I am the oldest sibling.

  • I've got one sister.

  • --That's interesting because usually the older sibling, I find in Japan, is burdened with lot of issues,

  • because usually the older sibling has to take care the of parents and do things like that.

  • Why would you want to marry the older sibling?

  • --I don't know - that impression is good?

  • I think? Like,

  • I can tell 'oh, you're the oldest,

  • so you can look after, you know,

  • your siblings and the parents - you know how to look after someone'.

  • So maybe it's the sense of maturity?

  • I think so- yeah, that is why.

  • --'The ideal guy often wears hooded sweatshirts.'

  • --No. I like to dress like I'm a reasonably priced hitman.

  • --Why is a hooded sweatshirt appealing?

  • I would have thought Japanese girls would be more into smart clothing, like suits and shirts and things.

  • It's- I don't know why, but it looks a little bit stylish.

  • --Right.

  • Yeah. With the hoodie, and...

  • ... What's that?

  • ... Right.

  • --'The ideal guy has had three prior girlfriends'.

  • Yes!

  • Done it again. Tick. I've had three prior girlfriends.

  • I've had probably... more than that...

  • Not bragging - I just want that point.

  • --Uh, 'the ideal guy has his birthday in August'.

  • No, mine's not in August. Why is that a thing?

  • --Out of all the ones we've had so far, that's the most confusing for me, I think.

  • That one's annoyed me because there's- there's literally no reason that that's on the list.

  • It's just there.

  • --It's just odd.

  • --'The ideal guy regularly texts, emails calls you'.

  • No. I despise phone calls.

  • This is actually depends on the girl, but

  • I know many girls wanted texts often - like a couple of times a day, like every single day as well.

  • Really?

  • I mean that's quite subjective - what's regularly?

  • Is that daily? Is that hourly?

  • Is it, you know...

  • Every day.

  • I don't if I should get a point there or not...

  • No.

  • No? Right, okay.

  • --Probably the most weird one on the list so far. Um,

  • 'The ideal guy is into beetles'.

  • Right.

  • Beetles...?

  • --First of all, I don't like beetles.

  • --Oh.

  • "Oh".

  • It's like I've slapped around the face, then.

  • --'You don't like beetles!?' *wapoosh*

  • I read an article that Japanese girls find beetles cute.

  • Because beetles look like men...?

  • 'Beetles look like a man'.

  • Do they?

  • Let's get that up on the screen.

  • Oh yeah. They look the same(!).

  • --No, I don't get why that's on the list.

  • I get the impression this survey wasn't like, uh

  • wasn't like thousands of women that were interviewed -

  • it was just one weird Japanese woman they found in a street in Shinjuku.

  • --Anyway, let's finish up.

  • --'The ideal guy can drink a lot of alcohol'.

  • Yes!

  • Yes. I'm British and I drink a lot of alcohol. That's like...

  • what British people do.

  • I get a tick there.

  • And the last one:

  • 'The ideal guy doesn't wear aftershave or cologne'.

  • I do wear aftershave.

  • --In summer,

  • when I was working as a teacher,

  • going into rooms that were like...

  • It's-- Japanese school rooms aren't-- they don't have air conditioning,

  • so it's like going into an oven, and then you go and teach for an hour in front of 40 people.

  • I needed aftershave to...

  • cover the scent of sweat.

  • You know what,

  • If your clothes smell good,

  • --Right.

  • A girl will fall in love with you.

  • Right...

  • Put that down on your list. Write that down.

  • If your clothes smell good, a girl will fall in love with you.

  • So it means you use that, how do you say- like a nice washing powder?

  • --Yeah.

  • --Like a nice washing soap.

  • --Is this the bit where you pull out like some sort of sponsorship deal

  • with some Japanese washing company?

  • --And there you go!

  • Um, what was my score? I'm not sure I really wanna know.

  • *drum roll*

  • 8!

  • --8 out of 26...

  • --Well that's...

  • That's me done. No chance.

  • Um, I'm basically the most unappealing guy ever to Japanese girls.

  • That might explain why I've not been so successful in Japan in the last seven years.

  • Chris, you should...

  • You should be able to take everything...

  • Yeah?

  • Uh, so on your next video you can try everything.

  • Right.

  • ... and make another Chris.

  • 'Make another Chris...'

  • Which would require me to dye my hair,

  • Yeah.

  • lose weight, and start working part time a cafe!

  • --Uhh, I don't think I'm gonna be able to tick all these boxes.

  • That's fine...

  • --And there isn't gonna be a follow-up video where I do...

  • But, uh... Thank you, Chiaki, for helping us to understand some of the weird things on this list -Yeah.

  • --that I don't think we'll ever quite comprehend.

  • What was your score though?

  • Let us know, guys, in the comments below. See if you can beat me.

  • Probably not as difficult. --Everyone...

  • Yeah, literally everyone.

  • If you get less than eight... well done!

  • Uhh, you're probably in the minority.

  • --Uh, but for now, thanks Chiaki.

  • --Thanks for joining us and being here.

  • Do go and check out Chiaki's YouTube channel,

  • Simply called: Chiaki.

  • --Clever that.

  • I should rebrand to 'Chris'.

  • What are you gonna do? 'Chris'...

  • 'Chris Unappealing Abroad'?

  • 'Chris Everywhere'?

  • 'Chris Everywhere'...

  • Perfect. New channel name's sorted - 'Chris Everywhere'.

  • ... But still not good enough to date Japanese girls.

Imagine if you could measure your attractiveness to Japanese women with a simple test -

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