Why, yes, I'd love to spend the next 10 minutes of my life being told what a horrible person I am by a stranger.

I'll definitely transfer you to my supervisor, who will give you the same information I just gave you.

As soon as you started yelling, I zoned out.

I'm not sorry I placed you on hold for 5 minutes.

I was hoping you'd hang up.

Oh, you're never going to use our company again?

Great, that means I'll never have to talk to you again.

I'm going to tell you the issue is resolved so that I can go on break.

I'm telling you that I'm finishing up with another customer, but really I'm just catching up on office gossip.

I asked you to repeat that because I was too busy texting on my phone.

I'm going to hang up on you and pretend it was an accident.

I'm attempting to sound empathetic, because quality assurance is listening.

The only perk of my job is not seeing your face.

Please stop telling me this pointless story.

Just tell me your problem so we could both get on with our day.

I'm saying this with confidence, but I have no idea if this information is true.

I fully intend to look you up on Facebook after this just to see how much of an (beep) hole you are.

I'm not sorry you feel that way.

I'm not sorry that happened.

Oh, no, I understand. I just don't care.

This job has made me dead inside.

This job has given me a fear of talking on the phone.

Listen, babe, call me hun one more time, and I'll burn this place down.

Have a great day.