You cannot be late on your first day.

Chop chop.

Lickety-split.

Move it, mister.

Shake a leg.

Don't dilly dally.

You should have had everything ready to go last night Oisín.

You're not helping.

Fix that top button.

Do up that tie.

Mum!

It's too big for me.

It'll fit you next year.

You cannot wear them.

They're shoes!

Well, they look like runners to me.

Jesus, the weight of that bag.

The price of that book list.

The price of that uniform.

The price of that class trip.

Voluntary contribution my eye.

What are you looking for?

A pen.

He doesn't even have a pen.

Who do you have for history this year?

Mr. Flanagan.

Oh, Jesus wept.

Who bought these?

Dad.

Nothing but sugar and...

I'm making you porridge.

No, please.

Here, take that.

No mum, can I have some money for lunch?

I'll make you sandwiches.

There's nothing wrong with jam sandwiches.

With lettuce and cheese sandwiches.

Gherkins and Branston sauce sandwiches.

Oisín, don't sit beside Barry this year.

What? Why?

You know why.

Mum!

Sit beside James White.

Didn't he get all As?

Yeah, but he's a nob.

A what?

He's boring.

That's not what you said now.

That coat isn't warm enough.

Put that on.

Mum, I'm not wearing that.

Oisín.

No!

I'll drop you down.

No, I'll cycle.

- Are you embarrassed of your mother? - Yeah, obviously.

Helmet.

Argh!

Right, give us a look at you there now.

Mum, I got to go.

Okay, best of luck, pet. Best luck.

Put that coat back on!

And the helmet.

♪ Doomdah ♪

Hey we are Foil Arms and Hog, thanks a million for watching. New videos on Thursdays.

The Irish premiere of Craicling is coming to the Dublin Fringe on the 16th of September.

One week only.

That's really all you need to know.

Yeah, that is all you need to know.

♪ Doomdah ♪