Was she like, "You will never be good enough for my son?"

Or was it like,

"You, you, will never be good enough for my son?"

- It's like the second one. - Oh.

- Except for in a way that made me want to,

like, cry and puke at the same time.

- God, she's so badass.

You know, I bet if you told her you'd leave Nick

for a million dollars, she will write that check.

They do that around here.

- She looked at me like I was nothing.

- Like a ten million dollar check.

I feel like she would do that.

- I don't even know what I should do.

I mean, I can't even tell Nick because he like worships her.

- Yeah, Chinese sons think their moms fart

Chanel Number five.

What about the Ah Ma?

She hate your face, too?

- Okay, nobody said they hated my face.

And Ah Ma, she liked my face.

She said I had a lucky nose.

- That's great!

You know, Eleanor can hate you all day long,

but you can't beat two thousand years

of Chinese filial piety.

- I feel like I shouldn't even go to the wedding.

You know, it's Colin and Araminta's day,

I don't want to cause any drama there.

I feel like I should just sit it out.

You know?

Tell Nick I had food poisoning or something.

What?

- That's bullshit.

You're just scared.

- No, I'm not.

- Okay, here's what you need to understand, all right?

It's not about getting Eleanor to like you.

It's about getting her to respect you.

All right?

Right now, she just thinks you're some

like undeserving, clueless, golddigging,

- Okay, yeah, I got it.

- trashy, unrefined banana, yellow

on the outside, white on the inside.

- I know what a banana is.

- When in reality, you're like a super sophisticated,

smart professor of freaking game theory.

Show her that side of you, you know.

- You're right.

- Damn straight, I'm right.

It's Peik Lin, I'm always right.

- Yeah, she's like trying to play a game of chicken

with me, where she's like coming at me,

and like, thinking I'm going to swerve like a chicken.

- But you can't swerve.

- I'm not going to swerve, not for her.

- No, chickens are bitches, dude!

- And I'm not a chicken.

- You're not a chicken.

You going to roll up to that wedding,

you going to be like, 'Bak-bak, bitch!'

- Bak-bak, bitch!

- Chickens are bitches.

Sorry Uncle.

- What are you doing tonight?

- Uh, I was going to go to FedEx or something, why?

Oh!

I have been waiting to do this properly for