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  • ♪ Rolling along, singing a song ♪

  • ♪ Making up words like bling-a-bingbong ♪

  • - Ooh, this jump has a nice ring to it.

  • Don't mind if I do.

  • (ringing)

  • - Hey you, stop right there.

  • - Whoa!

  • Whoa, talk about a fruit loop, am I right?

  • (giggling)

  • - Hilarious, dude.

  • Listen, I'm gonna need those rings back.

  • - What rings?

  • - Well, I just saw you collect a bunch of 'em.

  • - Nuh uh, I don't have any rings.

  • I only have these hula hoops.

  • (laughing)

  • (sighing)

  • - Listen, just give 'em here and nobody has to get hurt.

  • - Oh, what's the matter?

  • You don't think that hula hooping is very hip?

  • (laughing)

  • - Now, hand 'em over!

  • - How?

  • I don't have any hands.

  • (laughing)

  • - That's it.

  • You asked for it.

  • - Whoa, what you gonna do?

  • Poke me with your porcupine pokies?

  • - You, you think I'm a porcupine?

  • Wow, do you really not know who I am?

  • - Nope, but I appreciate your pointed question.

  • (laughing)

  • - Uh, I'm not a porcupine, dude.

  • I'm actually kind of embarrassed for you

  • 'cause I'm like, super famous.

  • - Oh really?

  • Well, that's cool.

  • I'm famous too.

  • - Heh, adorable.

  • Listen, kid, you don't understand.

  • I'm really famous.

  • I have a whole video game franchise and a cartoon series.

  • - So do I!

  • - Okay, but I'm on T-shirts and TV and stuff.

  • - So am I!

  • Do you know who I am?

  • - No, I don't know who you are.

  • Why on Earth would I know who you are?

  • - I don't know.

  • Why would I know who some blue porcupine is?

  • - For the last time, I'm not a porcupine.

  • - Whoa, easy.

  • No need to be so prickly.

  • (laughing)

  • (screams)

  • I'm famous for touching my tongue to my eyeball.

  • What are you famous for?

  • - This.

  • (video game whistling)

  • - Ooh!

  • I can do that too.

  • Watch me peel out!

  • (laughing)

  • (skidding)

  • Oh no, I peeled right out of my peel.

  • Ugh, stop looking, you perv.

  • Don't look at me.

  • Wah!

  • - I'm not looking at you.

  • - Everybody, porcu-perv over here is looking at me naked!

  • - I am not!

  • - Okay, I'm decent again.

  • Did you enjoy the show, porcu-perv?

  • - Stop calling me porcu-perv.

  • My name is Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.

  • - Sonic the who-ha?

  • - Sonic the Hedgehog.

  • - Why do they call you a hedgehog?

  • Do you hoard plants?

  • - What?

  • - You hogging all the hedges?

  • Is that what you do, you pervy hedgehog?

  • 'Cause from what I've seen, you hog all the rings.

  • Maybe they should call you Sonic the Ringhog.

  • - What, no.

  • They call me a hedgehog because,

  • why do I even waste my time with you?

  • Sorry, pal, but this is game over for you.

  • I need those rings and I need them now.

  • (video game whistling)

  • (ringing)

  • - Wah!

  • Hey, watch what you're going.

  • You really blew it.

  • (laughing)

  • - I am so out of here.

  • (video game whistling)

  • All right, Sonic, you can do this.

  • Just focus.

  • There's still enough time to collect

  • all the Chaos Emeralds and.

  • (record scratches)

  • - Hey, hey Ringhog, hey.

  • - Seriously?

  • - Hey, you dropped some hula hoops back there.

  • - How are you keeping pace with me?

  • I'm the fastest animal on the planet.

  • - I guess you've never dealt with fast food.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • Hey, hey, what do you call a porcupine

  • that can't even outrun an orange?

  • (sighing)

  • - I don't know, what?

  • - A slow-poke.

  • (laughing)

  • Get it?

  • 'Cause you're a porcupine and porcupines have pokies.

  • (laughing)

  • - Look, I am at the end of my rope with you.

  • My name is Sonic, got it?

  • Not porcupine, not Ringhog,

  • not some other pointy nickname like.

  • - Spike?

  • - Exactly.

  • I am very famous, so have some respect and stop calling me.

  • - Spike.

  • (groaning)

  • - Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?

  • - Are you even looking where you're going?

  • Spike!

  • (record scratches)

  • - Ahh!

  • (ringing)

  • No, my rings.

  • My rings!

  • - Whoa, now that's a hula of a lot of hula hoops.

  • (laughing)

  • Ptooie.

  • Whoa, that was a spicy seed.

  • Maybe I shouldn't have eaten those

  • flying Koopa Troopa hot wings for lunch.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Bowser] Who so dare enter my castle?

  • - It's a me, Mario!

  • - You're not Mario.

  • I know Mario well.

  • He does my plumbing.

  • - Okay, fine, I'm not Mario.

  • No need to be such a party Koopa.

  • (laughing)

  • Seriously though, you should get a new plumber.

  • Your pipes are clogged with all sorts of stuff.

  • Flowers, underwater worlds,

  • didn't anybody ever tell you not to flush

  • entire underwater worlds down your pipes?

  • (laughing)

  • (roaring)

  • - That laugh is like nails on a chalkboard.

  • You must be that Annoying Orange

  • everybody's been going on about.

  • I assume you're here to save your little girlfriend.

  • - Oh, I knew it.

  • You kidnapped Passion.

  • Passion, don't worry!

  • I'm coming for you.

  • - Ha ha, how adorable.

  • Widdle Orange is in wuv.

  • - Nuh uh!

  • - Give it up, Orange.

  • Everyone can totally tell you're in wuv with Passion.

  • - We're just friends.

  • - Sure, platonic friends trek through

  • eight entire Mushroom Kingdom worlds

  • to save each other all the time.

  • When's the wedding?

  • (chuckling)

  • (grumbles)

  • What's the matter, Annoying Orange?

  • You're looking a little Annoying Red.

  • (laughing)

  • Now then, allow me to properly introduce myself

  • before I kill you.

  • I am Bowser, king of.

  • (record scratches)

  • - Bowser?

  • That's a weird name.

  • - And the Annoying Orange is somehow better?

  • - Hey, I'm not annoying.

  • I'm a Mario.

  • (laughing)

  • - Ugh.

  • Tell me then, what name would be less weird for me to have?

  • - I don't know, something like

  • Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Mike.

  • - Wait, wait, wait.

  • Do you think I'm a turtle?

  • - Duh, I mean you look just like a turtle.

  • Wouldn't you a-green?

  • (laughing)

  • (grumbles)

  • - Does a turtle rule an entire Mushroom Kingdom?

  • Does a turtle have super-scary spikes?

  • Can a turtle do this?

  • (flame roars)

  • - Whoa, you can breathe fire?

  • That's a shell of a trick.

  • (laughing)

  • - Hey, I just told you, I'm not a turtle, okay!

  • - Yeesh, I get it.

  • No need to snap at me.

  • (laughing)

  • - Augh, was that a snapping turtle joke?

  • - You're getting it just now?

  • Even for a turtle, you're pretty slow.

  • (laughing)

  • (roaring)

  • No need to be so fiery.

  • (laughing)

  • (roaring)

  • Wow, I get it.

  • You really hammered your point home.

  • (laughing)

  • - Augh, you're so annoying.

  • What do I have to do to get rid of you?

  • - Easy, just say cowabunga!

  • - I will not say that.

  • I am not a Ninja Turtle!

  • I am not a turtle of any kind!

  • - So, you're not gonna say it?

  • - No.

  • - You sure?

  • - Yes.

  • - So you're not gonna say it?

  • - Correct.

  • - Not even once?

  • - No!

  • - Okay, okay, I get it.

  • Wait, what was it you weren't gonna say again?

  • - Cowabunga.

  • (laughing)

  • - Made you say it.

  • - Wha, gah, no.

  • I didn't mean it.

  • - Well, that was super classic,

  • dare I say Super NES classic?

  • (laughing)

  • (roaring)

  • But, I'm an orange of my word.

  • You said Cowabunga, so now I'll be on my way,

  • just like you axed me to.

  • (laughing)

  • - Huh?

  • (roaring)

  • (record scratches)

  • - Uh, are you gonna fall into the lava now or what?

  • - Yeah, it'll happen in a sec.

  • I hang here for a beat for dramatic effect before I.

  • (screaming)

  • - Whoa, that was painful.

  • Yowzer, Bowzer.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • Hey, quiet you.

  • You're dead.

  • Well, now to save Passion and.

  • (record scratches)

  • Huh?

  • - Thank you, Orange, but Passion is in another castle.

  • - Another castle?

  • How many of these things are there?

  • (whining)

  • Well, I guess I'll have to keep looking for her.

  • - Hey, you mind if I tag along?

  • I'd rather not stay kidnapped here

  • in this super creepy castle.

  • - Sure, you can come.

  • You seem like a fungi.

  • (laughing)

  • Get it, fungi?

  • (laughing)

  • - Ehh!

  • Yeah, on second thought I think I'll stay here.

  • (whooshing)

  • - Hey, hey Zelda.

  • (sighing)

  • - Not this again.

  • - Zelda, hey.

  • Zelda.

  • Zelda!

  • Hey, Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, Zelda!

  • - My name is not Zelda.

  • - Then why did you answer to it?

  • (laughing)

  • (sighing)

  • - For decades now, people have been

  • calling me Zelda by mistake.

  • I'm not Zelda, I'm Link.

  • - Link?

  • What kind of weird name is that?

  • If I were you, I'd be aching to have people call me Zelda.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • - I don't have time for this.

  • I have a kingdom to save.

  • What the?

  • - Well, well, well.

  • Look-key what I got here.

  • (laughing)

  • - Har, har, very funny.

  • May I have it back now?

  • - Sure thing, Zelda.

  • - My name is not Zelda, okay?

  • Zelda is a girl's name.

  • Do I look like a girl to you?

  • - No, I'm sorry.

  • I know what it's like to have an embarrassing name.

  • My parents named me after a color.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • - They obviously named you after the food.

  • Now if you don't give me that key back right this instant,

  • I'll be forced to use this.

  • (record scratches)

  • - Go ahead, take a stab.

  • (laughing)

  • - Fine by me.

  • (metals clashing)

  • - Missed.

  • (grunting)

  • Missed again.

  • (splatters)

  • - Ah, finally.

  • What a relief to be rid of that guy.

  • Now, the key must be inside one of these pots.

  • (clay smashing)

  • Not in that one.

  • (clay smashing)

  • Not in that one.

  • (clay smashing)

  • - Not in that one, either.

  • (laughing)

  • - Are you kidding me?

  • - Nope, catch me if you can.

  • Clay-me on!

  • (laughing)

  • - Ahh!

  • (metals clashing)

  • - Over here.

  • I meant over here.

  • Man, you're really bad at this, Zelda.

  • (laughing)

  • - I give up.

  • Fine, you win, okay.

  • I'll just stay here.

  • No one'll save Princess Zelda.

  • No one will reassemble the scattered fragments

  • of the Triforce of Wisdom, and no one will defeat Ganon.

  • Fine!

  • - Wait, do you mean these scattered fragments

  • of the Triforce of Wisdom, or you talking about

  • some other scattered fragments of the Triforce of Wisdom?

  • - How did you get these?

  • Yes, yes, yes.

  • Those are the exact fragments I am talking about.

  • - Oh, nice.

  • You want 'em?

  • I was just gonna throw these old things out.

  • - Yes, yes I want them all.

  • God, yes I want them.

  • - Sure thing.

  • Here you go.

  • Oh, wait, this one's actually just a slice of cheese.

  • (laughing)

  • (chomping)

  • (burps)

  • Mmm, still good.

  • - Okay, five fragments, this is awesome.

  • Now, are you sure you don't have any more lying around?

  • - Hmm, well I was using one as a buttscratcher,

  • but you can have it.

  • - Gee, thanks.

  • - And I like to use this one as a toothpick.

  • - You use a Triforce fragment as a toothpick?

  • - What?

  • It's super-sharp and I always get salami

  • stuck between my teeth, unless you wanna get

  • the salami stuck between my teeth.

  • - You know what?

  • I think I'll pass.

  • - As will I.

  • (farts)

  • (laughing)

  • Just a little passing gas humor.

  • Seriously though, here you go.

  • - Seven!

  • This is incredible.

  • Now think very hard, Orange.

  • Where is the eighth Triforce shard?

  • - Oh, that's easy.

  • I use that one as a doorstop.

  • - The final shard.

  • Hoo-rah!

  • Thank you, Orange.

  • You've saved the kingdom.

  • Farewell and good morrow.

  • I am off to save Zelda and to defeat.

  • (door clicks)

  • Oh, wait.

  • I may have pulled that doorstop out a bit prematurely.

  • Can I bother you for that key?

  • - Ahh, but it's my new buttscratcher.

  • - Orange!

  • - Fine.

  • - Ha-ha!

  • Zelda, here I come.

  • - That Zelda guy really needs

  • to stop talking in the third person.

  • ♪ Five day song, five day song ♪

  • ♪ Won't you, I'll kazoo along ♪

  • (kazoo hums)

  • Whoops!

  • (record scratches)

  • (metal rattles)

  • Um, little help?

  • Anyone?

  • I can't reach my kazoo and I need.

  • - [Granny] Hello, I'm Granny.

  • Don't be afraid.

  • (cackling)

  • - Well, I'm not afraid, just a little embarrassed is all.

  • I can't believe we both wore the same exact nightgown.

  • I guess one of us will have to change.

  • (smashing)

  • Okay, okay, it'll be me.

  • I'll change, see?

  • (screams)

  • (smashing)

  • (boings)

  • Swing and a miss.

  • Strike three.

  • (grumbles)

  • Swing, batter batter.

  • (chuckling)

  • - [Granny] Fine.

  • If I can't get you with my bat,

  • I'll just have to capture you another way.

  • Can't have you escaping my house just yet.

  • I have big plans for you in five days.

  • (cackling)

  • - Oh, that reminds me.

  • I never finished my song.

  • ♪ Five days song, five days song ♪

  • (smashing)

  • Whoa, okay, not a fan of music.

  • Noted.

  • (laughing)

  • (whistles)

  • - [Granny] Come here, boy.

  • - Oh, cool.

  • You have a pet?

  • - [Granny] I certainly do.

  • If you listen closely, you can hear him

  • coming down from the attic right now.

  • - Listening closely isn't really my thing.

  • No ears.

  • (laughing)

  • (grumbles)

  • I hope it's a puppy.

  • - [Granny] It is not a puppy.

  • - A kitty?

  • A lizard?

  • A pet rock?

  • - [Granny] No, no, and no.

  • Even I'm not reclusive and pathetic enough

  • to have a pet rock.

  • No, I don't think you're going to like my pet.

  • Most people would agree he really bites.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Spider] Boo!

  • - No way!

  • A spider!

  • You have a pet spider?

  • - [Granny] I do.

  • Are you terrified?

  • - On a scale of one to 10, how scared are you right now?

  • - This, is, awesome!

  • - Wait, what?

  • - Come here.

  • Bite me in the butt.

  • Please, please, please, please, please, bite me in the butt.

  • - [Granny] Wait.

  • So you're not scared of getting bit by my pet spider?

  • - Are you kidding?

  • I've been trying to get a spider to bite me for years.

  • This is great!

  • - I'm sorry, but this is weird.

  • - [Granny] You think?

  • I mean, I'm crazy but this fruit is downright loopy.

  • - Why do you want me to bite you so bad?

  • - 'Cause I want to be Spider-man.

  • Come on, bite me, bite me in the booty.

  • - I don't think that's how.

  • - Give me superpowers!

  • I wanna web-sling.

  • - Okay, I just need a minute to think.

  • - What's there to think about?

  • I just want you to bite me.

  • - [Granny] I want you to bite him!

  • - Well does anyone think about what I want?

  • Huh?

  • I need a minute to think, okay.

  • I'll be in the attic.

  • Nobody bother me!

  • - Well, maybe some of your questions

  • can be answered on the World Wide Web.

  • (laughing)

  • (grumbling)

  • - [Granny] Well, no matter.

  • I have other ways of trapping you.

  • (laughing)

  • - Those look fun.

  • - [Granny] What, these 12 bear traps I've laid out?

  • I assure you they're not.

  • - But they have springs.

  • Springs are fun.

  • - [Granny] I assure you they're not.

  • - Yo, what you talking about?

  • Name one springy thing that isn't fun.

  • - [Granny] Bed springs.

  • - Fun to jump on.

  • - [Granny] Slinkys.

  • - Fun to send down stairs.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Granny] Um, trampolines?

  • What are you saying, Granny?

  • Trampolines are loads of fun.

  • - Exactly.

  • So it's established.

  • Springs are always fun.

  • Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna jump into springs.

  • (trap slams shut)

  • - [Granny] Gotcha!

  • - I beg your pardon?

  • - Uh, how did you?

  • - Looks like these traps aren't bear-y effective on me.

  • (laughing)

  • (grumbles)

  • (traps slamming shut)

  • - Boing, boing.

  • (laughing)

  • This is fun.

  • Thanks, Granny.

  • - [Granny] You are not supposed to be having fun

  • with my bear traps!

  • - Hey, everyone.

  • Okay, I'm back.

  • I sat in the attic, thought things over,

  • and I've decided to.

  • - [Granny] Wait, look out for the.

  • (traps slamming shut)

  • (screaming)

  • - 12 in all.

  • Looks like you found eight of them.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Granny] No.

  • Are you okay, my widdie spidey-widey?

  • - Frankly, no, I am not okay.

  • Can I make a request, Granny?

  • - [Granny] Of course.

  • - Can we just let that incredibly annoying orange go?

  • Things have been awful ever since he showed up.

  • I just want things to go back to the way they were.

  • You, me, living together in a dark, creepy house

  • with no tasteful decor.

  • - [Granny] That's, that's the sweetest thing

  • anyone's ever said to me.

  • Of course.

  • Orange, take this key.

  • I'll let you out the front door.

  • Now, go!

  • - Okay, but are we not gonna talk about

  • how he just webbed the bed?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Granny] Get out!

  • - Okay, okay.

  • Don't get your nightgown in a twist.

  • (grumbles)

  • - [Granny] All right, now, let's get you

  • to the first aid kit in the basement.

  • I'll have you fixed up before.

  • - 12.

  • - [Granny] I was gonna say, before you know it,

  • but sure I can have you fixed out by 12 o'clock.

  • - No, 12!

  • - [Granny] Huh?

  • (trap slams shut)

  • (screams)

  • - First day at school.

  • Neh neh neh neh neh.

  • Whoa, what class is this?

  • - Oh, hi.

  • (boings)

  • - Whoa, who the heck are you?

  • - Welcome to Baldi's Basics.

  • - Yo, what you talking about?

  • - What?

  • - You're making fun of my lack of hair,

  • and calling me basic?

  • Ooh, you gonna get it.

  • - No, no, no, no.

  • My name is Baldi, and this class is called Baldi's Basics.

  • - Oh, okay.

  • I'll let it go this time, but only because

  • we have the same hairstyle.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • Now, come on.

  • That was hair-larious.

  • (laughing)

  • - Okay, that's enough.

  • - Hey Professor Baldi guy.

  • - Just Baldi is fine.

  • - Hey, hey Baldi bean butt.

  • - Colder, definitely colder.

  • - Hey Baldi Bardifarts McDougalbooty.

  • - Holy moley, what is wrong with you?

  • - You're so bald, I bet if you took a shower,

  • you'd get brainwashed.

  • (laughing)

  • - Ha ha, very funny.

  • - You look like Vin Diesel and Mr. Clean had a baby.

  • (laughing)

  • - Okay, that's not nice, Orange.

  • - I'm just saying, you really know you're bald

  • when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

  • (laughing)

  • - That's enough!

  • (record scratches)

  • - Ugh!

  • - Orange, this is my classroom, and you will listen to me.

  • - Okay, fine.

  • - Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject.

  • (record scratches)

  • - Pantsless karaoke?

  • - No!

  • - Cooking with bowling balls?

  • - Those are not school subjects!

  • - Polar bear pillowfighting?

  • - No!

  • Math, everyone's favorite subject is math.

  • - Said no one ever.

  • (laughing)

  • - Now, I'm gonna give you three questions.

  • - Can they be questions about kazoos?

  • I'm really good at questions about kazoos.

  • (screams)

  • - Now, the questions will be on this handy-dandy thinkpad.

  • Here you go.

  • - Cool!

  • It looks like Big Bird crapped on a Speak and Spell.

  • (laughing)

  • - Now, problem one, seven plus nine equals.

  • - What?

  • Seven and nine can't be in a math problem together.

  • - What, why not?

  • - Because seven ate nine.

  • (laughing)

  • (yells)

  • Hmm, carry the five, move the decimal over three places,

  • divide by a hamster ball.

  • - Nyah!

  • Did you just say, divide by a hamster ball?

  • - Yeah, that's a step that comes before

  • multiplying it by Justin Bieber's nipple, right?

  • (laughing)

  • (sighing)

  • - Okay, if you're having trouble with the problem,

  • think of it this way.

  • If you had seven kazoos and I gave you nine more kazoos,

  • how many kazoos would you have?

  • - Honestly, I still wouldn't have enough kazoos.

  • - Unh, no.

  • - I'd probably have to steal Pear's credit card

  • and buy at least a bajillion more from Kazoos 'R Us.

  • - This isn't a philosophical question about how many kazoos

  • are enough to make you happy.

  • - Of course, if you gave me nine kazoos

  • that were magic kazoos that had wish-granting genies

  • inside of them, that'd be a different story altogether.

  • - Orange, you're getting off track and.

  • - 'Cause then I'd wish for a kazoo cloning machine.

  • Then I'd never run out of kazoos, like ever.

  • - Orange!

  • Seven plus nine!

  • - Sheesh, okay.

  • 16, the answer is 16.

  • - Fantastic.

  • You're doing great.

  • - Hey, hey, thanks.

  • Now, back to the kazoos.

  • - Problem two, five minus three equals.

  • - Nyah, I'm bored of math.

  • Does this thing play Fortnite?

  • - No!

  • - Hey, why hasn't anybody made a game called Fartnite?

  • Now that'd be a real gas.

  • (farts)

  • (laughing)

  • - Orange!

  • - Okay, okay, two, as in you can't have toots without two.

  • (farts)

  • - Good job.

  • You did great.

  • - Thanks.

  • I'm pretty skilled at farting.

  • (farts)

  • - That's enough farting.

  • (laughing)

  • Now, Orange, it's time for problem three.

  • - Pauling tree?

  • - Problem three.

  • - Goblin knee?

  • - Problem three!

  • - You gotta pee?

  • Gross, dude, TMI.

  • (laughing)

  • (screaming)

  • - I've had it with you!

  • Here's your problem three.

  • (electrical buzzing)

  • - Um, I think your boring machine is broken.

  • - Oh, it's not broken.

  • You have to answer it just like that,

  • and remember, I get angrier every problem you get wrong.

  • (machine rattling)

  • - Quick, you stupid machine.

  • Make more sense.

  • - Hey, stop that!

  • - Nah, I'm gonna keep doing it.

  • (machine rattling)

  • - Hey!

  • - Play Fortnite, you Big Bird turd.

  • - Give me that.

  • - Hey, I was breaking that.

  • - I am done teaching math.

  • Now it's time to teach you a new lesson.

  • You, you're the most irritating pile of pulp ever.

  • If being annoying was an Olympic sport, you'd win.

  • - First prize?

  • - Yes, you'd win first prize.

  • Now, time for that lesson.

  • - No, first prize.

  • - What?

  • (robotic noise)

  • - Whoa, Baldi sure is a pushover.

  • (laughing)

  • Ahh.

  • (screams)

  • (video game music)

  • - [Pinky] Inky, Blinky.

  • - [Blinky] Yeah, Pinky?

  • - [Pinky] Everybody huddle up.

  • Ms. Pac Man is really getting the best of us out there.

  • We need a new strategy.

  • - [Inky] We should wait for Clyde.

  • Here he comes now.

  • - La la la la na na na na.

  • (laughing)

  • (screaming)

  • (record scratches)

  • Aah, a ghost!

  • - [Blinky] We're all ghosts, you moron!

  • - Waah!

  • Multiple ghosts.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Pinky] Who are you?

  • Where's Clyde?

  • - I'm filling in.

  • Clyde's feeling pretty sheet-y today.

  • (laughing)

  • Get it, sheet-y?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Pinky] Ugh.

  • Just listen up.

  • Here's the plan.

  • Inky, you go right.

  • - [Inky] Right!

  • - Left!

  • - [Pinky] Blinky, you go up.

  • (whooshing)

  • Hey, where'd the new guy go?

  • - Hey, hey pretzel, hey, hey!

  • Hmm, not much of a talker, huh?

  • That's okay.

  • I bet you've seen some really twisted stuff.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Pinky] Dude, get in position.

  • She's coming.

  • - She?

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] Outta my way, jerk.

  • - Whoa, she's a mouthy one, isn't she?

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, hey Mrs. Pac-Man, Mrs. Pac-Man!

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] It's Ms. Pac-Man, not Mrs.

  • You see a ring on this finger, bucko?

  • - Um, I don't see any finger.

  • (laughing)

  • (sighing)

  • Hmm, looks like you really like eating those dots, huh?

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] Sure do, but not as much

  • as I like eating pretzels.

  • (screaming)

  • - You, you murderer!

  • Oh, me and pretzel shared so many memories together,

  • like that time I said hey, hey pretzel,

  • and the other time he never responded.

  • (crying)

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] Take it easy, dude.

  • You should be worrying about yourself.

  • See that big dot over there?

  • - I do.

  • Hey, hey big dot, hey.

  • - Dude, it can't talk.

  • Look, here's the deal.

  • After I eat the big dot, I'm gonna eat you

  • so you better start running now.

  • - I don't know why you're so into these dots.

  • They don't taste like anything.

  • (spitting)

  • - Hey, don't do that!

  • - Why dot?

  • (laughing)

  • (spitting)

  • - Knock it off.

  • I have to clear this level of dots.

  • You're making my job harder so stop doing that.

  • (laughing)

  • - Hey, look what I can do.

  • I call it the machine gun.

  • (imitating gunfire)

  • - Ugh.

  • That is it!

  • You're going down.

  • - Whoa!

  • What's happening?

  • Suddenly I feel so blue.

  • Ha ha, whoa.

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] Ha ha, gotcha.

  • - [Orange] Cool, this is awesome.

  • - [Pinky] Dude, you have to come back here

  • to get your body back.

  • - [Orange] Oh, good idea.

  • ♪ I want my body back, body back, body back, body back ♪

  • ♪ I want my body back, body back ♪

  • (speaking gibberish)

  • (laughing)

  • Ah, never mind.

  • - [Pinky] Where are you going?

  • I thought you wanted your body back, body back.

  • - [Orange] Nope, I changed my mind.

  • Get it?

  • (laughing)

  • (growling)

  • - [Pinky] You are of no use to us if you're just eyes.

  • - [Orange] What are you talking about?

  • Being just eyes is great.

  • Look what I can do now.

  • (giggling)

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] What the?

  • Hey, hey get off my face.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Orange] You look so funny now.

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] I don't want to look funny.

  • Get off me.

  • - [Orange] Look at the goofy expression you're making now.

  • Look at it, look at it, look at it, ha.

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] Stop making me look goofy.

  • - [Orange] You sound angry, but you don't look angry.

  • (spitting)

  • (giggling)

  • (growling)

  • - [Ms. Pac-Man] And stop spitting dots!

  • (laughing)

  • (spitting) (imitating gunfire)

  • - That's it!

  • I'm done.

  • (groaning)

  • (glass breaking) (record scratches)

  • - [Orange] What the?

  • Come back!

  • Come back!

  • I'm really gonna miss her.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Inky] Does that mean?

  • - [Pinky] We won!

  • (cheering)

  • - [Blinky] We won, man, we won!

  • - [Pinky] You did it, new guy.

  • You won the game for us.

  • - Woohoo!

  • Time to get sheet-faced.

  • Ha ha, get it, sheet?

  • (groans)

  • (whooshing)

  • (video game music)

  • - [Announcer] Japan!

  • - Good luck, Ryu.

  • I should warn you, I'm an orange belt.

  • (laughing)

  • - Um, I hate to be that guy, but you said my name wrong.

  • It's actually REE-YOU, not RYE-YOU.

  • - Oh, well that's easy to remember,

  • 'cause it rhymes with P.U.

  • (laughing)

  • - You know what, I'm gonna enjoy kicking your orange behind.

  • - [Announcer] Round One, Fight!

  • - [Ryu] Hadouken!

  • - Huh?

  • Did you just say Hoboken?

  • - No.

  • Hadouken!

  • - Like Hoboken, New Jersey?

  • - I did not say Hoboken, New Jersey.

  • - Oh, good, 'cause that's my special move.

  • Hoboken!

  • Hoboken!

  • (groans)

  • - [Ryu] Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!

  • (laughing)

  • - You say a lot of funny words, RAY-YOU.

  • (laughing)

  • - It's REE-YOU.

  • - Hey, knock knock.

  • - No.

  • - Knock knock.

  • - I don't wanna.

  • I wanna fight.

  • - Knock knock.

  • - For the love of Pete, who's there?

  • - RYE-YOU.

  • (groans)

  • - RYE-YOU who?

  • - RYE-YOU pronounced REE-YOU wrong.

  • (laughing)

  • (groans)

  • - [Ryu] Shoryuken.

  • Shoryuken.

  • - What?

  • What are you saying now?

  • - [Ryu] Shoryuken.

  • - Are you saying, sure you can?

  • - No, I'm saying, Shoryuken.

  • - Nuh uh, I think you're saying, sure you can.

  • Hey, hey RAY-YOU, can I date your sister?

  • - [Ryu] Shoryuken.

  • - Thanks, I'll be sure to treat her real nice.

  • (laughing)

  • (groans)

  • Hey, can I have your mom's phone number?

  • - [Ryu] Shoryuken.

  • - Great.

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, can I try too?

  • - [Ryu] Shoryuken.

  • - Okay, sure you Ken.

  • (smashing)

  • - [Announcer] Perfect!

  • (laughing)

  • - Get it, sure you Ken?

  • - Ha ha ha, who's next?

  • - Wow, I really like your ken-do spirit.

  • (laughing)

  • Hoboken.

  • (squishing) (screaming)

  • - [Announcer] You win.

  • (whooshing)

  • (screaming)

  • - [Narrator] Shang Tsung wins.

  • - Booyah.

  • I am the supreme Mortal Kombat warrior.

  • I can't wait to call my mom and tell.

  • Wait, what's going on?

  • Why am I back at the mountain?

  • I won.

  • There's nobody else to fight.

  • (record scratches)

  • (laughing)

  • Are you kidding me?

  • - Hey, hey T-sung, hey T-sung hey.

  • Guess what?

  • - What?

  • - Chicken butt.

  • (laughing)

  • - Fantastic.

  • - [Narrator] Round one, fight!

  • - Wow, I really love what you've done with the place.

  • I'm really hooked.

  • (laughing)

  • - Be quiet.

  • We're fighting now.

  • - No we're not.

  • We're talking.

  • - Well, we're about to be fighting.

  • - Why?

  • - Because it's a fighting tournament.

  • - Why?

  • - Because, you know what?

  • Enough of this.

  • You're going down.

  • (whirring)

  • (laughing)

  • - That tickles.

  • Cool trick, I'm really a fan.

  • (sighing) (laughing)

  • - [Shang] Get over here!

  • - Missed!

  • Hey, try mine.

  • Spit over here!

  • (spitting)

  • - [Shang] Ow!

  • (laughing)

  • - Whoa, cool moves, but can you do this?

  • Motormouth.

  • (trilling)

  • (rocks crashing)

  • - [Shang] Ow!

  • (laughing)

  • I can't believe I'm losing to an orange.

  • - I liked you better in yellow.

  • How embarrassing.

  • You guys all wore the same suit.

  • (laughing)

  • (shimmering)

  • Aw, come on, man.

  • That's cold.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Shang] Ugh, that's the worst joke I've ever heard.

  • (glass shattering)

  • - Hey, bad jokes are how I roll.

  • Whoa!

  • (body crunches)

  • - [Marshmallow] Toasty!

  • (laughing)

  • - [Shang] Oh, that's it.

  • I'm not losing to this piece of fruit.

  • Get over here!

  • - Ooh, is it time to start throwing things?

  • French fries.

  • - [Shang] Get over here!

  • - Plate of spaghetti.

  • - [Shang] I said, get over here!

  • - And I said, banana peel.

  • (crunching)

  • - [Shang] Ow!

  • - [Narrator] Finish him!

  • - Huh?

  • - [Narrator] Finish him!

  • - He's Finnish?

  • I would have guessed Dutch.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Narrator] Ugh, for crying out loud.

  • No, I mean you should finish him off.

  • - Why would I do that?

  • I like his dance moves too much.

  • ♪ Everybody do the Scorpion ♪

  • ♪ Na na na, everybody do the Scorpion, na na na ♪

  • (record scratch)

  • - [Narrator] Just stop singing and finish him.

  • - Okay, okay.

  • Knife.

  • (screaming)

  • - [Narrator] I can't believe I'm saying this, Orange wins.

  • - Yay, what do I win?

  • I want a wig pony.

  • (laughing)

  • ♪ Everybody do the Scorpion ♪

  • (groaning)

  • ♪ Everybody do the Scorpion ♪

  • (whooshing)

  • (fire roars)

  • - [Sub-Zero] Ah, yeah, all right, I'm totally gonna be

  • in the best shape for the tournament.

  • I'm gonna rip so many spines out.

  • It's gonna be sweet!

  • - Bum bum da bum bum.

  • Look at my bum.

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, hey you, hey, hey you.

  • - [Sub-Zero] Huh?

  • - Hey, hey buddy.

  • - [Sub-Zero] What?

  • - Hey buddy, hey.

  • - [Sub-Zero] What?

  • I'm responding to you.

  • - Oh, I thought you were giving me the cold shoulder.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Sub-Zero] Okay, and we're done here.

  • Hyah, ooh, ah, hyah.

  • - Hey, hey!

  • - [Sub-Zero] Ugh, no.

  • - Hey, hey Chilly Willy.

  • - [Sub-Zero] Gah, that's not my name.

  • - Chilly Willy, is your favorite movie Frozen?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Sub-Zero] Would you knock it off?

  • - Hey!

  • - [Sub-Zero] No.

  • - Hey Chilly Willy.

  • - [Sub-Zero] That's not my name.

  • It's Sub-Zero.

  • - Ice to meet you, Chilly Willy.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Sub-Zero] Gah, 'kay seriously,

  • can you please leave me alone?

  • I'm trying to get ready for the Mortal Kombat tournament.

  • - The morsel can-can what now?

  • - [Sub-Zero] Mortal Kombat.

  • - Mighty wombat?

  • - [Sub-Zero] Mortal Kombat!

  • - Immortal mudflap?

  • - [Sub-Zero] Mortal Kombat.

  • - Shmortal fart-zap?

  • - [Sub-Zero] Okay, now you're just saying nonsensical words.

  • You totally know what I'm saying.

  • - Yeah, you got me.

  • I ran out of things that rhyme.

  • - [Sub-Zero] Good, no more rhyming.

  • Now can you please leave me alone?

  • The tournament is about to start.

  • - You got bit by a shark?

  • - [Sub-Zero] No!

  • We're about to start.

  • - Your favorite movie is Paul Blart?

  • Eww.

  • - [Sub-Zero] No!

  • No more rhyming.

  • The tournament is about to start.

  • - You're about to fart?

  • Me too.

  • (farts)

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • That'll warm you up on a frosty morning.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Sub-Zero] For crying out loud,

  • what in the ever-loving crap is wrong with you?

  • - Geez, no wonder you don't have any friends

  • and are so ice-olated.

  • (laughing)

  • (screams)

  • - [Sub-Zero] That's it!

  • If I hear one more peep out of you,

  • I'm gonna rip your pulp out through your non-existent nose!

  • - Yeesh.

  • (breathing heavily)

  • Um, hey.

  • - [Sub-Zero] What!

  • - Mighty wombat.

  • - [Sub-Zero] It's Mortal Kombat.

  • - No, mighty wombat.

  • - [Sub-Zero] Huh?

  • (screams) (squishing)

  • - [Mighty Wombat] All right, already beat

  • my first opponent in the Mortal Kombat tournament.

  • - Shmortal fart-zap?

  • - [Mighty Wombat] No, Mortal Kombat.

  • - No, shmortal fart-zap.

  • (farts) (laser sizzles)

  • (laughing)

  • (whooshing)

  • Uh oh.

  • How are we gonna knock?

  • No hands.

  • - Did you check for a doorbell?

  • - Of course I checked for a doorbell.

  • I'm not a complete ding-dong.

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • Ooh, I have an idea.

  • Knock knock.

  • - Dude, that's not gonna work.

  • - Ooh, I hear someone coming.

  • (stepping heavy)

  • Knock knock.

  • - [Mr. Peterson] Yeah, who's there?

  • - Neigh.

  • - [Mr. Peterson] Neigh who?

  • - Neighborhood welcoming committee.

  • (laughing)

  • (sighing)

  • - [Mr. Peterson] I see.

  • - Hi, Mr. Peterson.

  • Welcome to the neighborhood.

  • I'm Pear, and this is Orange.

  • We just wanted to drop by and say.

  • - [Both] Hello, neighbor.

  • - As soon as we saw you moving in, I turned to Pear

  • and I said, we simply mustache our new neighbor

  • over for dinner sometime.

  • (laughing)

  • - Oh, ha ha.

  • Yeah, 'cause I have the mustache.

  • - Anyway, that's why we're here.

  • We would glove to have you over sometime.

  • - Oh, whoopsie.

  • Forgot I was still wearing these.

  • (muffled screaming)

  • - Um, Mr. Peterson?

  • I think there's a noise coming from your basement.

  • - Nah, it's nothing.

  • (muffled screams)

  • - Yo, what you talking about?

  • I don't even have ears and I can hear it.

  • - I said it's nothing!

  • - Okay, okay, yeesh.

  • We'll stop talking about your basement.

  • - Yeah, we're over it.

  • (laughing)

  • - How did the two of you get inside my fence?

  • - Oh, about that.

  • Yeah, the homeowners association doesn't allow

  • fences that high, so they're having it removed.

  • - Huh?

  • (record scratches)

  • (fenceposts smashing)

  • - But if you come to our monthly meeting,

  • you can give your de-fence.

  • (laughing)

  • - Wow, didn't expect you people

  • to be such sticklers about the covenants.

  • - Oh, oh, we're sticklers all right.

  • - We also like saying the word sticklers.

  • Sticklers, sticklers, sticklers, sticklers, stickler.

  • - Okay, well very nice meeting you both.

  • Okay now, buh-bye.

  • - Aww, don't go just yet.

  • I made you a butt cake.

  • - Sorry, what now?

  • - A butt cake.

  • - Dude, I told you that's not what it's called.

  • - I believe you mean Bundt cake.

  • That's a pretty traditional thing to bring a new neighbor.

  • - Oh, is that what it's called?

  • Yeah, you definitely don't want to eat this cake.

  • (laughing)

  • (farts)

  • - Okay guys, here's the deal.

  • I don't want to be welcomed to the neighborhood.

  • I don't want to have my dinner with you,

  • and I certainly don't want whatever a butt cake is.

  • What I want is to be left alone, got it?

  • Okay then.

  • (door slams)

  • - Wow, he really slammed the door

  • on any neighborhood outreach.

  • (laughing)

  • I'm gonna figure out what he's hiding.

  • - Orange, don't be nosy.

  • Let's go.

  • - I'm not nosy.

  • Just look at my face.

  • How can I be?

  • (laughing)

  • (groaning)

  • Yo, I'm just sayin'.

  • If Mr. Peterson is up to something illegal in there,

  • then someone should throw a wrench in his plans.

  • - Dude, why did you just do that?

  • - Come one, while he's distracted!

  • - Hey, you two.

  • (screams)

  • - Orange, help!

  • - Don't worry.

  • I've been saving this for a rainy day.

  • (laughing)

  • - You two get down here right now.

  • - No thanks.

  • That doesn't sound very fly.

  • (laughing)

  • - Orange, look.

  • We can see in all the upstairs windows.

  • - Hey, hey, don't you look in those windows.

  • - Gee, Mr. Peterson, you sure own a lot of bear traps.

  • You're in the suburbs now.

  • What kind of grizzly situation

  • could you possibly need those for?

  • (laughing)

  • - Ugh, would you just go already?

  • These bad jokes are giving me a headache over here.

  • - A headache?

  • You know what they say, staying hydrated is key.

  • (water gurgling)

  • - Hey, ow!

  • That's it.

  • I'm gonna give you a very simple choice.

  • Either you come down to me, or I'm climbing up to you.

  • - Hmm, I'm gonna have to go with the ladder.

  • (laughing) (magnet buzzing)

  • (groaning)

  • - Listen, you have no right to wreck my house like this.

  • I don't owe you an explanation for anything.

  • I'm a very private person.

  • I'm sorry if I'm not.

  • - Open?

  • - Yes, I'm sorry if I'm not open enough

  • for you nosy neighbors, but.

  • - No, open!

  • - Huh?

  • (screaming)

  • - [Boy] Oh man, free at last.

  • It smelled like butt cake down there.

  • - Wow, well that's not gonna help his headache.

  • Goodbye, neighbor.

  • (laughing)

  • ♪ 'Cause it's slender, slender night ♪

  • ♪ Yeah, he's a skinny mini ♪

  • ♪ But I hear he's got a knife ♪

  • (laughing)

  • - [Pear] Orange!

  • - [Orange] Huh?

  • - Stop singing.

  • Do you want to get us killed?

  • - [Orange] Sorry.

  • Can I hum instead?

  • - Focus, buddy.

  • We gotta find these eight pages before Slender finds us.

  • - [Orange] I don't know, Pear.

  • This whole game sounds pretty thin.

  • (laughing)

  • - Ah, run away, run away!

  • - Uh.

  • - [Orange] Is it me, or does he look a little scared?

  • (laughing)

  • Slender!

  • Slender!

  • Hey, need some pages over here!

  • - Okay, time out.

  • - Hey noob, it's called a pause.

  • - Whatever.

  • Look, I'm thinking we should split up.

  • - What, come on dude.

  • We're not bananas.

  • - Hey!

  • Leave us out of this.

  • - Seriously, and could you try to keep it down?

  • - Uh oh, did you hear that?

  • - Yeah, stupid bananas.

  • What do they know?

  • (laughing)

  • (screaming) (electronic beeping)

  • - [Both] Ahh!

  • - Okay, we are definitely splitting up.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Orange] Slender, more like blender.

  • Those bananas were everywhere.

  • Hey, it's a note from Skinny Mini.

  • Hmm, beware of Slenderman.

  • Huh, looks like there's only one thing to do.

  • Make a paper airplane!

  • (laughing)

  • Whee!

  • No fancy food on that flight.

  • They only serve plane food.

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, what the?

  • (electronic beeping)

  • Ah, it's a skinny mime!

  • - [Slenderman] Dah!

  • - Whoa, sorry skinny mime, but I did have the flight of way.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Slenderman] Oh, this really hurts.

  • - Yeesh, I thought you were like me, silent but deadly.

  • (farts)

  • Okay, maybe not the silent part.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Slenderman] Oh, look at this.

  • You totally picked one of my pages.

  • I'm gonna have to iron this out now.

  • - Pages?

  • Are you writing a book?

  • - [Slenderman] No.

  • - Is it a poem?

  • - [Slenderman] No.

  • - Does it go like this?

  • Roses are red, violets are blue,

  • Slender's too skinny to even scare you!

  • (laughing)

  • Skinny puns.

  • - [Slenderman] It's not a poem.

  • - Yeah, it's definitely a poem.

  • They should call you Tenderman, not Slenderman.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Slenderman] Stop it!

  • I'm very scary.

  • - Well what are you doing out here, then?

  • - [Slenderman] If you must know, I haunt these woods.

  • I feast on all the souls who enter here.

  • The only way I can be stopped is if

  • you collect all eight pages that I have

  • carefully hidden throughout the.

  • (record scratches) - These pages?

  • - [Slenderman] What the?

  • How did you do that?

  • - Yay!

  • What do I win?

  • Do I get three wishes?

  • - [Slenderman] No.

  • - Ooh, a pot of gold?

  • - [Slenderman] No.

  • - How about a pot of gold wishes?

  • - [Slenderman] Gah, what is wrong with you?

  • I'm not a leprechaun or a genie.

  • - Ah, come on.

  • I know what'll make you feel better,

  • the seeds of friendship.

  • (spitting) (laughing)

  • - [Slenderman] That's it, I'm out of here.

  • (feet tapping)

  • - Hey, come back Slendy, come back.

  • Where you going, Slendy Tenderman?

  • You forgot your poem.

  • - [Slenderman] Keep 'em. I don't want 'em.

  • - [Orange] Come back Slendy, come back.

  • - [Slenderman] No, leave me alone!

  • (metal crashing)

  • - Whoa, talk about a slender bender.

  • (laughing)

  • Ugh.

  • (whooshing)

  • Spawnie, spawnie, spawnie, spawn, spawn, spawn, spawn!

  • Hello, Minecraft!

  • Whoa, look at me.

  • I'm a real blockhead.

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, hey, who are you?

  • - [Steve] Uh, I'm Steve.

  • - Don't take this the wrong way, Steve,

  • but you kinda look like a square.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Ha, good one.

  • Haven't heard that before.

  • - So, I'm new here.

  • Can you show me around the block?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Wow, cool.

  • One square and two block jokes in less than 10 seconds.

  • What are you, some kind of griefer?

  • - Griefer?

  • I didn't even know her.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Ugh, I am out of here.

  • - Wait, wait, I'll roll with you.

  • (laughing)

  • (boinging)

  • - [Steve] Why are you following me?

  • - I dunno.

  • Why are you punching that tree?

  • - [Steve] I am mining wood.

  • You are very welcome to stop being useless and help me.

  • - Well, I would but I don't have any hands or arms or legs.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Are you some kind of noob or something?

  • - I'm not a noob.

  • I'm a cube.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] You're not going to be able

  • to mine anything, are you?

  • - Eh, who cares?

  • None of it's mine, anyway.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Look, I don't think you know

  • what kind of danger you're in.

  • This is Minecraft, buddy.

  • Before the sun sets, you need to get wood, make sticks,

  • make planks, craft a crafting table, make tools,

  • mine stone, and build a house.

  • Otherwise the creepers will eat you alive.

  • (record scratches)

  • ♪ Jeepers creepers, where'd you get those peepers ♪

  • ♪ Jeepers creepers, where'd you get those eyes ♪

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] What the?

  • Who are you talking to?

  • - This square shape.

  • He has weird looking eyes.

  • (laughing)

  • Weird square eyes.

  • - [Steve] Dude, wow.

  • You are annoying.

  • Good luck, griefer.

  • - Ah, poor Steve has anger management issues.

  • He should really block out some time with his therapist.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Phew, finished the house

  • just in time before nightfall.

  • Kinda feel bad about not helping that Orange fella.

  • Oh well, he'll re-spawn and learn.

  • (whooshing)

  • I'll just make myself a snack in the kitchen

  • before I hit the sack and,

  • whoa! (record scratches)

  • - Hey, hey, hey!

  • Hey, hey Steve!

  • - [Steve] Dude, what are you doing in my house?

  • - Hey, hey Steve, hey!

  • - [Steve] What?

  • - Orange you glad you built us a Minecraft kitchen?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Steve] Us?

  • - Yeah.

  • I'm actually not a green block, though, I'm a.

  • - Square pear!

  • - I hope you don't mind that we brought our friends.

  • - Yeah, thanks a bunch Steve-arino.

  • - Yay, I love being a block

  • full of loving gooey marshmallowy goodness!

  • Yay!

  • - We really appreciate you saving us

  • from the mobs out there.

  • - [Steve] The mobs out there?

  • What about in here?

  • - Hey, hey Steve, hey!

  • Hey Steve!

  • - [Steve] Don't wanna hear it, griefer.

  • You and your friends have got to go.

  • - Steve, hey!

  • - [Steve] I said, I don't want to hear it.

  • I built every part of this house on my own,

  • laid every stone, every piece of wood,

  • made every door, wait a second.

  • You guys don't have hands, then how'd you get in here?

  • - The back door was open.

  • - Hey, Steve!

  • - [Steve] What?

  • - Creepers.

  • (screaming)

  • Whoa, looks like Steve took it square on the chin.

  • (laughing)

  • - Ugh, can we please just go build something cool?

  • - You're ruining it, square pear.

  • (video game music)

  • - Oh, I've got to save the Princess.

  • Hey, where's the Bowser?

  • He's usually in here.

  • (laughing)

  • What was that?

  • Sounded like it came from over here.

  • Princess?

  • Toad?

  • - I'm not a toad.

  • I'm an orange.

  • (laughing)

  • - Whoa, what did you do with the Princess and Toad?

  • - Toad?

  • Is that like a frog?

  • - No, is more like, you know, mushroom.

  • - I know him, he's a fungi.

  • (laughing)

  • - All right, enough of the funny stuff.

  • Are you ready to fight?

  • - Not really.

  • I'm kinda hungry.

  • - Well then try on one of my spicy meatballs.

  • (video game beeping)

  • (laughing)

  • - Meatballs?

  • More like you're throwing boogers.

  • Stop throwing boogers, Mr. Pick and Flick.

  • - Is not a booger, and I'm not Mr. Pick and Flick.

  • I'm Super Mario.

  • - Spaghettios?

  • I love Spaghettios.

  • (laughs)

  • - No, no, no, no, no.

  • It's Super Mario, not Spaghettio.

  • - Uh oh.

  • - What do you mean, uh oh?

  • - Uh oh, Spaghettios.

  • (laughing)

  • (grumbles)

  • - Fireball.

  • - Hey Spaghettios, use a Kleenex already, geez.

  • - Why you no-good two bit orange.

  • - Two-bit?

  • I'm at least eight bits.

  • (laughing)

  • - Ohh, don't make me take my gloves off.

  • I can get real mean when I want to.

  • Just you ask my brother Luigi.

  • - Did you say linguini?

  • Your whole family's made of pasta.

  • You have a sister named Ravioli?

  • (laughing)

  • (groans)

  • - You tell me where the Princess is or else.

  • - Or else what, shell?

  • - Shell?

  • What are you talking about, you crazy orange?

  • - Turtle shell.

  • (burps)

  • - Oh.

  • (video game squishes)

  • - Whoa, Spaghettios is bite-sized.

  • (laughing)

  • - Oh great, you shrunk me.

  • You like a big orange Rick Moranis.

  • - Oh don't worry, bite size Spaghettios.

  • It could be worse.

  • - Could be worse?

  • Now I'll never find the Princess.

  • How could it possibly be worse?

  • - I don't know, bullet?

  • - What?

  • - Bullet.

  • (video game music) (laughing)

  • - Oh, Super Mario.

  • More like Stupid Mario, right guys?

  • (sighing)

  • I defeated Bowser and saved you guys hours ago.

  • - Yeah, if by defeating Bowser you mean

  • you annoyed the living crap out of him

  • until he just got angry and left.

  • - Whatever, Princess Apple.

  • - That's Peach, thank you very much.

  • - You're an apple.

  • (laughing)

  • - Hey, you guys are still here?

  • I told you already, get out of my dungeon, you freeloaders.

  • (whooshing) (video game music)

  • - [Blinky] Pack your bags, Pac-Man.

  • - [Inky] All right, woohoo.

  • - [Clyde] Nice one, Blinky.

  • - [Inky] Yeah, two down and one to go.

  • Whoa.

  • - [Blinky] What the?

  • - Flashing, flashing, flashing, solid.

  • (laughing)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Pinky] Is it just me, or is there

  • something different about Pac-Man?

  • - [Clyde] Ah, that's just your nerves talking.

  • - [Pinky] I don't know.

  • Just look at him.

  • - Ooh, Tic-Tacs.

  • (chomping)

  • Mmm, minty.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Blinky] I don't care what he looks like.

  • He's going down.

  • - [All] Yeah!

  • - [Blinky] All right, Pac-Man.

  • You know the drill.

  • - Pac-Man?

  • I'm not Pac-Man.

  • I'm an orange.

  • - [Blinky] Yeah, and I'm a ghost, so why don't you?

  • - You're not a ghost.

  • You're a policeman.

  • - [Blinky] Uh, no.

  • I'm not a cop.

  • - Then why you working undercover?

  • (laughing)

  • - [Blinky] I'm a ghost, you moron.

  • - Oh, then I bet you know my friend Boo.

  • - [Blinky] Boo?

  • Boo who?

  • - Geez, you don't have to cry about it.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Blinky] All right, that's it.

  • You're going down.

  • Come back here, Orange.

  • Oh, uh oh.

  • - Whoa, Officer Boo, where'd you get the Snuggie?

  • - [Blinky] Leave me alone.

  • - I want a Snuggie.

  • Come back.

  • - [Blinky] No, no!

  • - Whoa, no wonder he ran away.

  • He didn't have any guts.

  • (laughing)

  • Ooh, more Tic-Tacs.

  • (chomping)

  • - [Blinky] Darn it.

  • - [Inky] Nice one, dude.

  • - [Clyde] I think it's time

  • to make the odds a little less fair.

  • - [All] Yeah, let's get him, come on.

  • - Hey ghosts, over here.

  • Marco.

  • - [Ghosts] Go, he's over there.

  • - Polo.

  • - [Ghosts] He switched sides.

  • - Marco.

  • - [Ghosts] Hey, he's over there now.

  • - Polo.

  • - [Ghosts] Follow me, guys.

  • - Marco.

  • - [Ghosts] Can we just split up?

  • - Polo.

  • Marco, Polo, Marco, Polo.

  • Marco, Polo, Marco, Polo.

  • Marco, Polo, Marco, Polo.

  • (laughing)

  • Oh, I don't feel very good.

  • - [Ghosts] Yeah!

  • (retching)

  • - Whoa, talk about an eyeful.

  • (laughing)

  • Hey, more Tic-Tacs.

  • (chomping)

  • - [Pinky] Eww, that was disgusting.

  • - [Clyde] I am not going back out there.

  • (chomping)

  • (video game beeping)

  • - Hey, it's me.

  • I see you, me.

  • - You're not me.

  • I'm me.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Inky] Ugh, I hate this new guy.

  • Whatever happened to Pac-Man?

  • (record scratches)

  • (upbeat music)

  • (video game beeping)

  • - Okay, shut up already.

  • You've been making that same noise for three hours.

  • I can't understand what you're saying.

  • (video game beeping)

  • Ugh, I give up.

  • - Yo, strawberries in the house.

  • What's going on?

  • (chomping) (screaming)

  • (video game music)

  • ♪ I'm juicy and I know it ♪

  • ♪ Bop bow ba bow ♪

  • ♪ I'm juicy and I know it ♪

  • ♪ Bop bow ba bow ♪

  • (spitting)

  • (laughing)

  • - I'm a little squirt.

  • (laughing)

  • Oh, little squirt.

  • - [Mario] It's-a me, Mario!

  • (screaming)

  • (skidding) (crashing)

  • - Whoa! (car explodes)

  • - [Mario] My leg's a-bleeding, ugh.

  • - Jeez, looks like Mario's on a crash diet.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Mario] So much pain.

  • (screaming) (cars exploding)

  • - Yoinks!

  • (screaming)

  • - Hey guys, don't worry.

  • I'm here to help, oh my!

  • (retching)

  • (video game music)

♪ Rolling along, singing a song ♪

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