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  • You ain't never been hit on

  • until you've been hit on by a Hispanic man.

  • You know what it is.

  • They hit you with one of these.

  • "Hola, mami. [laughter]

  • Que paso?"

  • I felt like I was three months pregnant.

  • He just said, "Hola."

  • But it's a difference. It's a difference in cultures.

  • I swear to God, it's a difference.

  • 'Cause, just for example, you know, I have white friends.

  • I have black friends.

  • My white friend catches my husband out cheating one night.

  • 'Cause I know it, ladies. I know it.

  • She calls me. This is exactly how that goes.

  • [imitating phone ringing] "Hello, Crystal? This is Becky.

  • "Becky with the good hair.

  • "Yeah. I just saw Chris.

  • "I don't want to cause any problems, but it was--

  • "he was with a woman I didn't recognize.

  • "Never seen her in our carpool lane.

  • "Never seen her at yoga.

  • "And, you know, we get down at Zumba, right?

  • "Not even that.

  • "Just so you know, I would have a conversation with him

  • when he gets home."

  • Let my friend Kiesha call, see my husband.

  • That's real different. Her ring tone even--

  • her ring tone ever different.

  • [beatboxes]

  • This call go like this.

  • "Bitch...

  • [laughter]

  • "you seen Chris?

  • "I know you ain't seen him, 'cause he right here.

  • [laughter]

  • "Bitch, he over here popping on this bitch off sixteen--

  • "ooh, uh-oh! Girl, it's about to go down.

  • "They ordering oysters. Yes, they are.

  • "You better get here. Hurry up,

  • "you know mama ain't gonna watch the kids

  • "but another three hours. Come on.

  • "Her license plate is 278--

  • [laughter]

  • "Bring me some Cheetos when you come."

  • It's a difference. It's a difference.

  • Culturally, it's a difference.

  • For example, y'all been to the Astros.

  • Y'all have been to the Rockets games.

  • You know, when the--Becky with the good hair,

  • when she sings "The Star Spangled Banner,"

  • y'all all know it. Sing along with me.

  • all: ♪ Oh, say, can you see

  • By the dawn's early light

  • What so proudly we-- ♪ [imitates rewinding]

  • Let Kiesha sing it.

  • Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi

  • Oh--oh, say

  • Can you see

  • By the dawn's early light

  • What so proudly

  • What so proudly

  • What so proud-- ♪ one more time.

  • What so proudly we hailed

  • Next time you go to a game, close your eyes

  • and you gonna be like, "That was Keisha."

  • [laughter]

You ain't never been hit on

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