So, for the past 21 years, I've been waiting for HGTV to give me my own room makeover show and..

It hasn't quite happened yet. So, in the meantime, I'm just doing as many room makeovers as I possibly can.

I promise I am working on my own apartment makeover,

but I am being such a little anal-

I don't- nope, that wasn't the right word to call myself.

I mean, a bit of a perfectionist about it.

So, in the meantime, I'm making over David's bedroom,

which is like middle-school-Ashley: a little ugly, confused, and desperately in need of a glow up.

So without further ado,

I'm heading over to Home Depot to play my favorite game of

"How Long Can I Shop For Hardware Without Getting Harassed and/or Patronized by 60-Year-Old Men?"

The answer is: usually not that long.

I love this game... so much!

Uh, let's get started!

[music]

First, we're gonna redo the floors with some hardwood.

We're gonna get some paint to repaint the walls.

We're gonna build some shelves out of some wood and some 6-inch steel nipples.

Yes, that is what they're called.

And,

we're gonna fill some holes with some caulk.

Drywall caulk, that is.

Okay. I promise I'm done now.

[music]

Come over here-

Hi, I'm David.

Room on 3, room on 3!

1, 2, 3! ROOM! (ROOM!)

[music]

First and foremost, we are getting rid of this ugly-ass carpet.

As some of you might know, carpets and frats are not a good mix.

Do you think there's a whole handle of vodka inside this carpet- can you wring it out?

I think there's at least 4

[laughter]

You can probably drink that and get REaL drunk

Let's RIP this baby up!

[music]

David's frat has two cats that are named Chad and Brad

Alright, the carpet and the carpet liner have all been removed.

Underneath we found a disturbing amount of mold so we picked up-

these masks.

Oh, let's do a Home Depot try on haul!

So I really like the blue accent strap on this,

I think it would pair really well with just like a simple pair of denim

or maybe like a twirly skirt for that industrial feminine

juxtaposition.

Okay, let's get to

Disinfecting!

--Because we love not getting respiratory diseases from mold.

yEaH

[music]

NoOoOooo

Alright, next up, we have to install our laminate flooring

so installing hardwood is basically like putting together a puzzle-

Except it's a giant puzzle that covers your entire floor,

you can't start with the corners,

you have no reference image,

and you have to cut your own pieces yourself.

So just like the worst puzzle you could possibly imagine

So the first part is kind of easy; laminate planks come with these interlocking edges,

so all you have to do is slide in the horizontal edge and then press down the plank

to lock it in place.

It gets a little bit complicated when you get to the edges,

which is where you need to cut the planks to size

I used a knife and this right angle thingy to mark where I needed to make a cut.

Luckily, at the frat they have a circular saw,

but they do not have any clamps.

So instead, we're weighing it down with a gallon of paint

and another box of laminate

because you do what you gotta do

Probably don't do this at home

After miraculously emerging with my appendages still attached,

I locked our freshly cut piece in place.

There you go. Now we just continue that for

seven more hours until our entire floor is covered.

And from there on out, it was a pretty simple rinse and repeat process,

with the exception of this special 90-degree piece

We had to cut to fit around the edge of the L-shaped room.

You know you've been working hard when your boobs

are literally just completely covered in sawdust.

And David hasn't even been touchin' 'em.

[music]

The last piece... David's doing the honors

[angelic sound effect]

I gotta say, for two people who have absolutely no

experience in construction whatsoever

and who were cutting wood literally with a bucket of paint as a clamp,

I think it came out pretty well.

As long as you don't look at the edges of this floor,

which came out a little bit janky because I just didn't measure everything perfectly

But luckily I have our friend- aAah

I have THIs which is called a quarter round

It is essentially like a band-aid for the edges of your wood or just like a really good full coverage concealer

You know?

I measure out each side of the room and then marked on my moulding where I wanted to make a cut

After playing another fun game of

"Will Ashley and David Lose a Finger Today?

Who the Hell Knows?"

we nailed the molding into place with some small finishing nails

and I got to say we also kinda nailed

ba-dum tss~

this hardwood installation, if I may say so myself. (Oh, yeah.)

[music]

Hello, and welcome to probably the jankiest wall in this entire room,

this is a pure styrofoam wall-

it has a ton of holes in it. It's half painted black, half green.

It's silver up top.

Really weird situation.

So, I figured, what better way to cover up styrofoam than with more styrofoam?

This is my precious little baby from my last room makeover

I spent like two days burning this brick pattern into a piece of styrofoam

and probably lost a lot of brain cells to Styrofoam fumes,

but let's not think about that right now.

Anyways, a couple months ago. I moved out of my old apartment

and I'm looking for a new home for my styrofoam baby.

And I figured this would be the perfect thing for David's wall.

I think he'll be a good adoptive father

and I'll get visiting rights occasionally when I come to see him

and then I can be

reunited with my baby.

Yes, I am strangely attached to a piece of styrofoam, okay? But I spent a long time making it.

To install my faux brick wall

I trimmed the styrofoam to size with a box cutter

and then nailed it into place with some small finishing nails.

If you don't conveniently have some old faux brick laying around from a past apartment makeover,

they also sell pre-made faux brick sheets at Home Depot that you can buy and apply this same technique to.

[music]

Lo and behold, there was another weird styrofoam patch on the other side of the room.

Since this is a smaller patch,

I just ended up smoothing out the holes with an aggressive amount of drywall spackle.

This is like the same stuff that you use to fill a little nail hole in the wall,

except I was filling like 10 cubic feet worth of

wall-swiss-cheese.

And to finish off the day,

we finally covered up the ten different

infuriating half-ass paint jobs on this room

with one full juicy ass of a paint job

[music]

Hello, and welcome to day two of our room makeover

Today, we are tackling David's true nemesis

this fucking cabinet system.

[David] I hate them. They're terribly painted.

They're an utter waste of space.

[Ashley] Basically, David has been itching to tear out these cabinets for so long,

but, whoever built them put them in so sturdily.

They're like, on a platform, they're painted in by like ten layers of paint,

they're nailed in-

Tackling the whole cabinet system...

A little too much for us today.

[Ashley] So, [David] Yeah [Ashley] Cabinets - 1, David and Ashley - 0

So, we settled for just tearing out this little bottom section

since this is by far the most

awkward storage space and we're gonna turn it into a little kitchenette area.

There is conveniently an outlet right over here,

so David can plug in his fridge,

we're gonna build him some shelves.

As for the rest of the cabinets, even though we have to keep the frame,

we're gonna clean them up, paint them, make them look a lot nicer,

so hopefully you'll be able to look at them and not be super infuriated.

[David] Okay [Ashley] Just mildly infuriated.

Let's get

demolishing

[music... and hammer banging sounds]

Cabinets - 0, David - 1

All right, time to get painting

for the second time.

And I'm gonna get into my painting outfit.

I have no idea whether that transition was horrible...

[music]

Welcome to our third and hopefully final day of this room makeover.

David is off to work today,

so, that just leaves you and me to put the finishing touches on this room.

First up, probably the easiest step of this entire room makeover is gonna be

switching out David's bedsheets

I bought him these ones from Target, which remind me of my fashion icon: "Bananas in Pajamas."

Changin' 'em out in one, two, three

That's probably a really awkward cut-

I gotta get better at those.

But here are the new bed sheets!

Since they're a lighter color

they're gonna help open up the room a little bit and make it look bright and spacious.

And now, it is our pleasure to present:

an extremely amateur woodworking tutorial with Ashley.

Fun fact about David is that he has not owned a desk since he lived in the UCLA dorms..

freshman year.

And that was like.. five years ago at this point?

I honestly have no idea how he's been productive for the past five years without a desk...

I think the answer is a lot of adderall.

..Ashley--

So, today I came up with a floating wall-to-wall desk design

First of all, I think it's gonna be great for space optimization.

Second of all, I just am not that good at woodworking,

so I came up with the simplest design possible.

To build this desk,

you will need

For me, that's seven feet.

(Also the length of your wall.)

Essentially, we're creating a little frame around the wall that our desktop can rest on.

So first, I'm drilling pilot holes into my wood with

a drill, then attaching the wood to the wall with 3-inch long screws

You really want to use some long bois and screw a lot of them~

I need to stop,

it's getting annoying at this point.

You really want to use a generous amount of screws

So your desk is extra sturdy and it won't, like, casually rip out of the wall

and crush you.

Cons of buying the cheapest drill

possible off of Amazon is

that my drill bit got stuck in this piece of wood and it will not come back out.

I've tried like reattaching it, tightening it...

She's stuck.

So, you do what you got to do. I just have another piece of wood,

I've drilled a hole that matches up with this drill bit, and we're just gonna put it on top, screw it in place...

Nobody'll be the wiser.

[music]

After my little frame was all finished, I painted it white so it would blend more seamlessly into the wall.

Next, it's time to lay down our large planks that act as the tabletop,

and then stain them a nice, deep, poopy brown color that

matched the floors perfectly

[music]

For the finishing touch in David's little office corner,

I framed these 50s ads for him.

I found these at a vintage t-shirts store and it really made me want to save magazines from

like, nowadays or my magazines from the 2000s because one day

Hipster trash little kiddos like me are gonna pick them up and think that they're super cool.

[music]

In David's last room, he pretty much kept all of his stuff in a giant pile underneath his bed,

so in this room I thought I'd help David stay a little bit more organized

by giving each of these cabinets a specific theme,

instead of just having it like a giant area for general stuff.