Well, we do this.

Uh, no.

Anyone ever told you You look like a Giants fan?

Has anyone ever died from doing this?

Is your name Jim Gaffigan?

Yes.

Are you a stand up comedian?

Yes.

No, Be sad if I was like, Do you have the flop sweats right now?

No, No, I just I always look like sweating.

You know what I mean?

Well calibrated.

Let's begin.

Yes.

Let's start with your life.

I've had one.

Not lately, but so you've lived in New York City for the past 30 years.

Is that right?

I have.

Would you consider yourself a coastal elite?

No, I do not.

Were you the youngest of six Children?

From what I can?

Yes.

Would you say that you have youngest child syndrome?

Um, I don't even know what that is.

Do you ever feel for gotten among such a big family?

Uh, I don't think Well, one time there was like a tornado, and everyone in my family went to the basement to hide from the tornado and they forgot to wake me up.

So deceptive.

Why would I lie about that?

We're going to come in and lie about a tornado.

All right.

I saw it in a movie.

I mean, I didn't it happen in the movie.

And you have five kids of your own now.

Are you equally close with all of them?

Yes.

Do you know how you would rank your kids from least two?

Most favorite, I view them equally.

So you have five kit.

I have five.

And your parents had six?

Yes.

Does it bother you that your parents were better at having kids than you?

Uh, no.

Deceptive.

What?

But that's ridiculous.

I'm not competing with my parents.

They started earlier.

He graduated from Georgetown with a degree in finance.

Correct.

As a result of this, Are you responsible with your money?

Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Do you own any crypto currency?

Don't Don't Bitcoin No.

Does coin does?

Cliff?

I think I broke this.

Does it matter now?

It's fine.

Does coin Now, would you say we're about to hit another recession?

Yes.

Good to know.

You know, next, let's talk about your career.

You moved to New York to pursue comedy?

Um, not initially, but yes.

In the back of my mind, I was thinking and David Letterman have a big influence on that?

I think so.

Is it true you auditioned for his show for six years before you got on?

That is true this trip.

Does that mean you resent David?

No.

Yeah.

Did you know that in 2016 you were the most popular comic on pandora dot com?

Uh, I think I think I had heard that.

Yes.

Is there pressure that comes with that title?

Uh, no, I didn't Really I don't think at that point I don't even knew what Pandora Waas do.

You think you were the best working comic in 2016?

Now, how about now?

Yeah.

Do you remember the first joke you ever told?

Yeah, I think I remember one of my first jokes on stage.

There's people would ask me, Why are you so white?

Why are you so whitened?

I'd say because my father was a Q tip.

That's humorous.

It's was a first draft.

Is there a joke?

You've been trying to make work for years, but it just won't land.

I've been tryingto make the Rust Belt funny, which is never really worked because I think that it's funny that they you know, this area of economic devastation that someone decided to give it a cute name.

Rest bell.

Because there's a lot of rest there.

It doesn't feel appropriate.

I mean, people are employed.

Maybe give it some more time.

I don't know if it'll ever work, but, I mean, the people there will work, but not a joke.

You opened for this man pope last year.

Is that correct?

Yes, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One point.

Yes.

Do you think he watched her set from the Pope Mobile?

I don't think so.

I met him.

I don't think he had any idea who I waas.

There was a guy standing behind him, speaking in Italian or Spanish, going comedic Americano.

And he just nodded.

Then I introduced him to my mother in law.

And I won best in law.

Ever.

Did you pray before you went on stage?

Now your wife?

Yes.

Is your collaborator and co writer.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Would you say that she's funnier than you?

You know.

All right.

I think she's great.

Do you two ever take your creative arguments home with you?

Oh, yeah, carefully.

Do you think she's ever fake?

Laughed at one of your jokes?

I hope not.

She's pretty honest.

Like she'll say.

That's not funny.

I mean, sometimes she'll say, That's not funny, but I'm not even trying to be funny.

Have you ever fake laughed at one of her jokes?

No.

What is that doing?

It's registering your pulse rate.

Something.

What is that?

It's your galvanic skin response.

What does that mean?

Sweating.

It's that bad or good?

It depends.

Yeah.

Do you ever receive any fan letters?

Ah, yes, yes.

Do you write back?

No, I mean, if no, I don't.

I used to.

How about that?

I've got five kids.

Someone on Reddit started a thread asking how they could sneak food to you during a show.

Is that something fans regularly attempt to do?

It's waned a little bit.

A couple specials ago, I had a lot of jokes on doughnuts, so that led to an influx of doughnuts.

Maybe with American dreamer.

I'll get free uber rides or lift rides when people would bring you food.

Did you eat it sometimes.

I mean, yes, I did.

It would be rude not to.

Do you ever get heckled?

Not really, No.

Do you remember the last time you were heckled?

They're I don't know if I'd describe it as heckled.

It was just somebody verbalizing their reaction.

And I don't think they were intentionally.

I don't think they were aware of it.

So I would say something and they would go.

Yes, kind of.

And I think they thought that they were doing under their breath, but they were speaking out loud.

So I don't know if that's a hackle or if that's just human beings were insane.

Have you ever done anything on stage?

We're looking back.

You think that was hacky?

Uh, yeah, I'm sure.

Their stuff I'm always trying to improve.

Look, I had jokes about my wife liking pillows on the bed that I wasn't a fan of, I don't know.

It's weird.

It's like old material I'm not really thrilled about.

In general, why don't we move on to philosophy?

Do you think you're stigmatized for being Catholic?

Possibly.

There's so many reasons for someone not to be Catholic.

I don't have any resentment with someone finding it weird.

If God was a comedian, do you think he would have a clean act?

Depends.

Older New Testament.

You know.

I think Old testament.

He probably it would be pretty edgy, I think.

New Testament, you know, probably he might be much more observation all and maybe not necessary to curse.

Do you really think God for gives everyone?

I hope so, Yeah.

I mean, you know, like Gomer.

I don't know.

I mean about that, You know, like Hitler.

He's like, Jesus, like, you know, I know.

I said everyone.

Should people be automatically granted mercy if they apologize?

Not for May decide.

I just like a scenario where I'm forgiven.

So would you say you're a better Catholic than this man Stephen Colbert?

No, he's He's obviously a better Catholic and smarter and other stuff.

But I have more comedy specials.

You don't curse in your stand up, right?

Sure does.

So I guess the same doesn't go for your real life, right?

Do you think perfection is ever attainable?

Obviously, No.

But when you're good looking as may you try to make other aspects of your life, she's here.

Your looks.

Do you think you've ever written a perfect joke?

No, because I think comedy and humor are similar to liberty.

It's all kind of moving and the context is changing.

So what's funny today?

Might be funny in a different way tomorrow.

That the truth.

He's telling the truth.

No, let's talk about pop culture.

Do you have three million followers on Twitter?

Uh, does that make you feel validated now, when I see how many followers other people have, Um but I appreciate it.

I don't know my doing this right.

I'm not sure you feel validated.

Has a troll ever made you cry?

No, but I I don't really pride because I don't really have human emotions.

Would you consider yourself Mimi literate?

No.

If you had to take a shot at it.

How do you mean?

If I this photo?

Oh, I would say, uh, gotta get home before I my pants.

Not bad.

How about this one?

When, uh, the fat guy tries to be cute?

Sounds like you are meeting literate.

I think I I think I figured it out.

My hands were very sweaty.

Or what's the word you're using?

Its galvanic skin response.

You're not that smart.

Settle down.

Be honest.

Have you ever taken a buzzfeed quiz?

I think I have.

I think I have So do You know what Disney Princess You are?

Well, I think everyone does.

Which one are you?

I'm the Would you one from Scotland?

What?

You know what's her name?

Call yourself a man.

I did the, uh, the gene.

The version thing.

What character am I?

And Jane?

The Virgin.

And I think I was wrong.

Julio, I don't know what that means.

Urine, Avid foodie by you know, I eat a lot.

Yeah.

So if you're making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich Yes.

Peanut butter and jelly go in the same slice.

I would say No, there might be.