You know, I try not to take that for granted, and I try to work hard and not lose my love.

But not everything works, but it's the attempt that counts on.

Once in a while, everything comes together.

I'm John Totoro and this is a timeline of my career.

Thanks for the seats.

Hey, what's up?

I got your fucking balls downstairs.

Raging Bull is the first time I was ever on screen.

I auditioned for the movie with my good friend Michael Badalucco.

I brought pastries to my interview because I thought to be polite.

They didn't have a script that we had adapted a scene from The Book of Raging Bull because I had read it when I was a kid, my father was an amateur price fighter, and so we had worked on it, and Martin Scorsese was very nervous about because, Well, there's no script and Robert De Niro, So let's let him do it.

And we moved the furniture around.

Then my friend Michael Badalucco and I wait, Did this scene, which we had adapted ourselves, I think they would sort of taken by our naive a teddy or or density?

I mean, really, they were giant heroes.

And there's still people who have inspired me and my good friend Michael for a long time, then explain myself.

Did not really black.

I mean the placard that I really like them.

They're more than black.

It's different.

It's different to me.

It's still deep down inside You wish you were black for laugh If you want to, You know you hear is kinky of mine.

What does that mean?

Do it do the right thing, which was in 1988 shot it and that came out in 89 and to a lot of heated advance press.

When the movie was about to come out, I was I was thinking, Wow, I wonder what the reaction is going to be to me on the subways.

Joe Klein wrote New York magazine that he thought they were gonna be riots in the movie theaters and a few other critics did to that.

It was like kind of out of control.

None of that ever happened.

None of it was ever retracted.

I've only been embraced by the black community for that film and other films to Lady was in craft service.

She wouldn't give me water.

She told me on the stand, she said, because she had seen on a big screen at L.

I.

U me saying all this.

Not one time.

I remember her saying to me, I hate you, I hate you so much.

And I was like, the right thing came, came out of because I did a film Five Corners with John Patrick Shanley, which was before that.

And then Spike saw me in that.

And then he sent me to do the right thing in a leather bound script from Studio Duplicating, which you still because he would write the script and then they type it up for you.

Beautiful paper and really great typesetting.

Remember, I was doing a film with Dennis Hopper and Venice Beach.

And remember, I've received the script when I read it, and then when I can and I liked it, I came back and we met.

Spike and I were born three weeks apart.

Same year I grew up in a black neighborhood.

He grew up in Italian.

We were sort of faded, and he asked me what part I wanted to play, and I said.

I'd like to play the racist guy because I thought that was what it was about.

Yeah, we we I mean, I've done some really big roles in a bunch of cameos for him because he likes me, too.

I don't good luck, charm or something.

It's nice to have some continuity because there are many people I've worked with over the years, which I would have loved to have had a return engagement.

But when Spike's movies, I've played, you know, kind of a racist guy on Jungle Fever.

I played the complete opposite.

The guy was really open minded, very sweet.

I played a cop.

Clocker is a plate club owner with my brother Nicholas and Mo better blues.

You know, sometimes I like playing really quiet characters like I played in the truce when I played Criminal Levy and somebody that played explosive characters.

And but I loved characters that are complex and even in a dramatic thing.

Roll that.

There's irony and there's humor.

I don't like when something is just one thing.

I'm not interested because no one none of us are one thing.

What kind of word is that plateau?

But, uh, well It's like you.

You mean people don't like me anymore?

No, no, no, it's not you per se.

It's just Maybe I should get my teeth capped at which the nature of the show they've already seen you win and they want something new.

Quiz show.

It was based on real people, so I had all the Kenna scope of her.

I also met Herb Stempel.

I watched him a lot.

I had a lot of time to prepare.

Talk to Robert Redford the way he talked in his voice everything I based on her.

But I used to want my voice up, get a very, very high voice.

He talked very, very specific way.

I can't really do it right now, but he had a very specific way of talking.

So I was fascinated.

When I first heard him talk, I was like, Wow, I never heard it.

So anybody like probably one of my most unattractive roles.

I was fat at my teeth, discolor my hair, thin the glasses.

People would come on to set, sometimes talk to robberies.

Wow, John's got a little heavy.

You know?

I never thought I did it on purpose.

I've won some awards and things and been nominated.

You know, it's nice to be invited to the party, but overall, what you do is how the film lives on and how it reaches people.

Because a lot of films that have reached people in a deep way that have won no awards at all, and we're never acknowledged.

Some of that has to do with timing.

And like, as Marlon Brando said, sometimes the best acting is the least appreciated.

Let me tell you something, Bando.

You pull any crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger till it goes.

Click Jesus, you said in mind.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Jesus Quintana, from the big about ski is inspired by a character I did in a play 10 years before.

It's inspired, and it's kind of based on one guy in a little bit of another guy.

When you really like people, you want to surprise them and they're your friends.

But you also want to like you want to bring something that they haven't brought him.

So I looked at everything.

And I showed Jolan, Ethan certain things that I once I had that outfit on that I could do, you know, when you only have five minutes, you've got to put everything in.

I wanted to nail.

I think they had the outfit played athletics, but I've done a lot of dancing.

The whole dance that I did, it was like a Mohammed Ali dance.

You know, I don't know what song that we're going to use that we're gonna do this for motion.

But I just kept trying come up with things to make them laugh that my mom was a dressmaker.

And so you wear a suit.

You moved it from you wear a dress.

You moved if you wear a tight pantsuit like that.

And then they wanted me to be especially well endowed.

They were like I was That was their idea that wasn't mine.

And I was like, Oh, God, it was a little embarrassing.

But then you had to get into it, and I was I was very thin because I had done this movie.

So I played Primo Levy when I had lost all this weight and people thought I was dying and stuff, and I couldn't put it back on, so I was very, very thin.

So I just wanted to make it as memorable.

And I didn't think they were going to use all of that.

And then when he showed me the cut of it, I was embarrassed.

I was embarrassed.

First time I said I was laughing, but I was embarrassed.

I was like, Oh, God, I can't breathe I did all those things.

Donna Julianne Moore, about this, that something more normal People are more grounded, the crazier you could be in your work.

I mean, I also was with, you know, great company with Jeff John Steve.

Let's face it.

I mean, you talk about awards like you just got a lot of great performances.

You know, many awards Jeff Bridges, One big battle zero.

And that is a character that we talk about as if he's our friend for our therapist or a philosopher.

Let's be honest here.

That's a great, great great performance.

And Jonah's Graham's Thieves great, but Jeffs performances.

There's something yoga like about it or Zen like, because Jeff had something really beautiful about him as a performer.

He's very selfless There's the Oscars and they should be the dudes.

Dude awards to Dude Stirs I would rather get a dude.

You gotta do a dude award.

I love the character.

It's a great character.

No model to Jesus.

Don't matter, toe.

He's the greatest.

Ladies, please, Ladies and gentle rush to Judgment rushed to other guys.

You can't deny it.

That's right, God, I way shot that in 2016 it feels like we shot it for three years.

I think those miniseries things I want done Billy Martin for the Bronx is burning those air long, great experiences because you can do different things and you could do in a film because there's more scenes.

Sometimes it can be a repetitive scene that could be that problem.

When it's eight hours, you try to find a CZ much variation, but you get to explore CE sometimes elements that maybe you wouldn't do in a two or three hour two and half hour movie.

I saw the pilot.

It was it was very long.

Jimmy Gandolfini was my friend.

He did one day on it.

I didn't want to watch it, so I read the first couple episodes that they were really good.

I watched it with my eyes closed, and then Jimmy didn't do that much, So I was like, OK, I don't have to kind of a race that from my mind.

By then they had written everything because originally when they did the pilot, I think they had that and maybe one other episode they were working on.

So I read the whole thing.

I could see how well written it Waas a man who is completely full of floors on.

Did you just see a lot of humanity and a person probably with great potential, but didn't have the stomach to be ambitious?

I had a lot of time go to court, talk the lawyers and study the script.

My days were very long, but I do.

I love doing it, you know, would raise.

It was a natural.

We just liked each other, and so he would come to me and talk to me and asked me.

Sometimes it was able to help him as much as I could.

A lot of people helped me, and I took parts from all different people.

It's a character I would love to revisit because it was such a long shoot.

I got lost in it.

That's what you hope for.

No, I really need you to listen to me.

I do.

How could you be so rude?

For what?

I was introducing you to my family.

I brought you to my son's birthday party and you have the nerve to say fear wasn't an easy situation.

I searched for your eyes again and again.

I didn't exist.

We were in while we were in love.

How many's trying to say that?

You make me sick?

I threw up.

I don't know how you could do something like that to me.

Gloria Bell, 2018 with joy and more and directed by Sebastian lately.

He's a very cute guy, I have to say, but I mean, I'm not in the market for a guy, but he's such a cute guy.

He's hard not to have a crush on No.

When you work with him because he's such a, I don't know, maybe because Latin or something.

I just had such a inviting manner.

I realize I would love to work with him again.

Love stories are complicated, so she has her flaws, too, But she's she's really trying Maur than probably Arnold is.

But you know, when you're a certain age and then you meet the first wife, her husband and we were in love.

We loved you and all these things and you're the outsider and there's parts of you that are not developed.

But I thought it was a lovely story, and I was resistant because the guy keeps disappearing.

But Sebastian said to me, the thing he loves about the character was that he keeps trying, and I guess there are lots of men and maybe some women to you don't have the the fortitude or the courage or the confidence to get out of a terrible relationship, a dysfunctional relationship and maybe out of guilt or whatever and instead embrace a great opportunity that they have.

I know this is something that I think occurred to Sebastian's mom, who he was able.

I understand it from our point of view, so I thought I will follow along and he was very helpful that way, and she's great to work with.

I think at the end you realize you have to have fail, but you have to keep failing better.

You have to keep trying.

Failure is part of it.

I think he's grappling with that.

My motivation is to keep doing things that I haven't done before and challenging myself, and it's also who I'm doing it with.