You talk so much about Italy that many people think you're from Italy.

You drove a Vespa for awhile, right?

Until someone I just ran into.

You destroyed the vest, but and broke your arm.

Correct.

Now I paid that guy to kill you.

I've always wanted to understand Italy the way you understand Italy.

I want to see Italy through your cold, lifeless eyes.

So I've decided to take you to Italy.

That sounds great.

Way would leave tonight.

I packed light.

Seriously.

You're not rattled at all by this.

We're gonna leave for Italy tonight.

I can be ready in a couple hours to tell your wife or anything.

I'm all set.

You're gonna call your wife?

That's a quick conversation.

My thought is of course we must go to Rome.

Yes.

I have other places that I like in Italy that you're like.

In a nutshell.

I mean, I've been everywhere.

I've been to Bandito.

I've been to the amount of familiar.

Romani.

Donna, this is lot CEO Companion down.

Here's Shelia Calabria.

Julia.

First of all, let market.

First of all, you're showing off.

You know I am insulted.

I don't know that those are real places.

I don't do that to be the same thing.

Asked me if I'd been to Italy.

Have you been off course?

I've been in one day a little Children.

Wait.

But often I will.

I spent a couple of days in Florence by myself connecting with stop by yourself.

Travel often alone.

And I have romantic evenings under the stars on your love.

Good night.

What are you talking about?

You can't have a romantic evening alone Romance.

I want a second.

Hold on a second romance.

First concept.

It's not only what shares and then I drive to my favorite town in southern Tuscany, which is prefer not to say the name.

It's a special place to me.

You're gonna tell me the name of your favorite town?

Well, my favorite restaurant is there.

And, uh, like I say, I have a special connection with the people there.

And my picture is hanging on the wall and restaurant.

Is it for passing bad checks?

But the real highlight from these wild, primal city of Naples are gonna have a coffee.

And a lot of that we're gonna espresso.

Cappuccino.

We're not gonna mess around with any of the American coffee drinks.

Like when you walk into a diner in America, What do you say?

I would ask if they had espresso.

I wouldn't expect it to be good.

You'd say to Fo, Who's been working there 60 years?

I'll order it, but I don't expect it to be good.

Is that what you say?

I don't say all my thoughts out loud.

What you thinking right now?

The hair that you miss shaving It's the corner of your mouth with my right.

Okay.

You know what I'm thinking?

Sure.

I could push this through your right eye, the shark part of speech and I would scrape it around on.

He would be mute and you die about a week later.

That's not where speeches controlled.

I've been to Italy conservative.

Guess I haven't kept count, but I would assume 25 times approximately What?

You get the money for this, Jordan, You pay me that money?

I paid that much that you've been to Italy at least 25 to 30 times and tasted the very best food state of the nicest hotels.

That's how much I pay you.

Yes, okay.

And What in turn do you do for me?

Complete the tests signed.

Unbelievable.

You've been sucking my teat for 23 years and it dries.

What do you do with that sweet mother's milk?

Use it to build up the fat in your body.

You can go over here, hang out in Italy, having the good life one here, slaving away, making shows thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of entertainment watched by hundreds and hundreds of people.

I prefer to spend my money on experiences instead of material possessions I could think of no better watch.

By the way, this is everything I love about the sexiness and the power that has grown.

Majesty.

Triumph.

You were alone.

Thanks.

This is the Pizza of Naples.

This is a margarita.

And this is a marinara.

Very strict rules governing Vera pizza.

Napoli has to be there in 30 minutes or last year.

Oh, my God.

I remember this photo.

Remember when this was the cover of do sh Weekly and laughing at what are you laughing at it?

Laughing way Laugh with some saying, you know, you say you don't know what you may think.

There's nothing you didn't know what to Dio.

And so a weird joker smile came on your face.

That's just saying it's not biological.

No, you know who here, Steve, dissecting my looking at you, your face that adored worldwide monster.

Do you think people adore your face because of the physical structure of your thinks?

Or perhaps what it might represent the need.

You sing about my face saying, Let's be realistic, my face, You making the language that I don't think you could you could you telling my face I say your face is adored, not necessarily for the physical structure.

Why wouldn't it be adored for the physical structure?

I'm not good looking, fella.

Can't we can concentrate on the positive short.

What's the native say it?

Thin lips never even occurred to little tip of the nose.

Do you understand that little eye vein that bugs everybody?

Go on, freckles.

Your body image may be distorted.

The things that you find to be negatives are not even noticed.

You get on this side track, my face looks like the Joker.

I'm telling you, that's my face.

What do you find unattractive about my face?

Go well.

Let's talk about the causes.

You got symmetry.

What don't you like about my face?

Tell me you know Italy.

Okay.

Based on public perception, what might the public find to be unattractive about your face?

Is that the question answering?

You got dry skin.

Promise me that when you show me your Italy, we're gonna have a good time.

I guarantee you.

And I promise you to moisturize Jordan.

I Jordan and I went to Italy that night.

It was intense.

Our trip is gonna be a primetime show.

Conan in Italy airing Wednesday, April 11th at 10.