What I hadforgottenisthatmysuitwasmuchtootightand I donedoneit.
I'd undonemytrousersquiteearlyinthefilm, and I completelyforgottodothemup.
Soitdid.
Lookoutthatattheendofthisgayfilm, I standup, bowsolemnlytoeveryonenexttomycostarwithmytrousersundoneforweddingsandfunerals. 00:01:58.300 --> 00:02:0.320 I gotthescriptand I thought, Well, theremustbesomemistake. 00:02:0.320 --> 00:02:5.050 Myagenthassentme a goodscript, so I ranghimupwhen I said, I thinkthere's been a mistakeyousentme a goodscript. 00:02:5.340 --> 00:02:7.310 Theydidthatoncebefore, actuallywithJerryMaguire. 00:02:8.290 --> 00:02:10.410 And I said, I thinkis a mistake.
AndtheysaidYes.
Sorry.
Thatis a mistakethatwasmeantforTomCruisewithfourweddings.
Itwasmeantforme.
Andanyway, itwasonlyanauditionand I wentalongand, uhand I auditionedamongtheMuppets.
If I weretoaskyou, couldyoupossiblyeverseeyourway?
I mean, I'm notsayingyouwould, butifyoumight, toforginginlovewithme, allthatstuff, that's that's Richardwritingthatstuff.
AndthenMikeNewell, whodirected a film, wantedevenmoremessedup.
Hesaid, It'llbe a disasterifyoulooksmooth, so, youknow, messupthelinesandbreakthemupandallthat. 00:03:59.880 --> 00:04:0.550 So I didallthat. 00:04:1.120 --> 00:04:6.790 Andthenwhenthatfarmerswas a success, possiblysubliminally, I letitbleedintootherparts, whichwas a bigmistake.
SenseandSensibility.
EmmaThompsonadaptedSenseandSensibilitytogoAngLeetodirectitonDayofferedmethatpart, and I sawthepartofEdwardFurrowsand I said, He's a bitof a hesitantinlove, Englishman.
I don't think I shoulddothatagainandtheysaid, No, no, weknowyoucoulddoitverydifferentlySo I said, Allrightthenandthen I didexactlythesameAngLeewas.
I thinkitwashisfirstnonTaiwanesefilmhedidn't haven't masteredyet.
A friendofhiswhowas a kindofveryunfamousblokelivinginNottingHill, whohappenedtoFordinlovewithanextremelyextremelyworldfamouspersonwhoarenotallowedtomentionandshewithhim.
I thoughtthisisgonnabe a hugehit, but I don't reallywanttobethatsamecharacteragain.
I'llgetcrucified.
So I saidtoRichard, Youknow, youcan't justbethatguyfromNotting.
HearthemfromfourWeddingsisquitedifferent.
Muchtougherandharder.
Right?
Tougher, Harder.
Yes, yes, heis.
Andthen I justdidexactlythesamecharacters. 00:09:0.260 --> 00:09:5.040 Not, youknow, thedancingscenewas a terriblecloudhangingoverthewholeproductionforme. 00:09:5.040 --> 00:09:11.690 Andyouknow, it's hardenoughtodanceifyou'reEnglishandmiddleaged, evenwithsixpointsinsideyou.
Butbyyourself.
Sostonecold, soberatseveninthemorningfrom a filmcrewtofreakout, I wasgoingtobemisery.
Notonlythat, but I thoughtthescenehadthecapacityforbeingthemostexcruciatingsceneofah, committedtocelluloid, andthereareplentyofpeoplewhostillthinkitis.
Butequallytherewantspeoplewhoseemtoloveit.
Cloudatthis.
No, noonecould.
It's kindofslightlyaboutreincarnation, as I recall.
I wenttomeetthemtoseeifitwassomekindofjokeonme, anditdidn't seemtobeAnd I likethem a lot. 00:09:59.730 --> 00:10:0.940 So I didit. 00:10:0.940 --> 00:10:5.810 And, youknow, itseemedirresistibletoplayercannibalfromthe 23rdcentury. 00:10:6.100 --> 00:10:9.510 Andthen I I thought, Well, I'm boundtobegoodatthatbecausethat's sofascinating. 00:10:9.670 --> 00:10:15.760 Andthen I don't reallythinkaboutittoomuchuntil I wassuddenlyon a mountaintopinGermany, wouldliketeethandmakeuponmytattoos.
And I thought, I havenoideahowtodothis.
I hadoneoftheWhiteHousegatessaying, Comeon, man, Youlookathimlikeyouwant.
Youwanttofuckingeathim.
I don't havethatface.
Giveme a funnyline.
I coulddothat.
Notsure I wasverygoodastheCannibalwasquitegoodinsomeoftheotherparts.
Soitwasthat I hadtosayinthecourtroomsceneswhenthere's long, longpushesonmyface, noactorreallylikesitbecauseyoustartwell, youthinkbangingcharacterhereasthecameradolliesinfor 16 bloodyhours.
Youknow, aftersortof 10 seconds, youthink I'm slippingoutofcharacter, aregettingselfconsciousby a minuteintoit.
Youknowwhat's happened?
Myjaw.
I kindoffeelitanymore. 00:15:0.010 --> 00:15:5.520 Actorsdecidetodo a jobforvariousreasons, but I thinkthetwomainonesare. 00:15:5.530 --> 00:15:8.660 Isit a veryfascinatingondheshowyroleforthem? 00:15:9.460 --> 00:15:11.350 Andtheotheroneiswillthisthingwork?
But I'vealwaysbeenabsolutelyfixatedonWillitalsobeingonentertainingthing?
Becauseifno, thisis a wank, what's thepointofit?
Soforme, thisonehadboth.
I thought, peoplearedefinitelygonnaenjoythisbecauseit's such a weirdstory.