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  • March is Women's History Month.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Yes. Yes.

  • It's the one month

  • when Mike Pence can't be alone with a calendar.

  • -(laughter) -And to help us celebrate,

  • we're joined by our senior Women's History correspondent--

  • Dulcé Sloan, everybody!

  • -(cheers and applause) -(whooping)

  • -Dulcé. -Hello!

  • -Happy Women's History Month. -Happy?

  • It would be happier if you got me a gift.

  • Oh, another one. I-I just got you a gift

  • for Black History Month.

  • Yeah, because I'm black in February,

  • -and in March, I'm a woman. -(laughter)

  • -(applause) -Oh, no, but that's not fair.

  • Okay, so then when do I get a gift?

  • In April, 'cause you're a fool.

  • (laughter)

  • Anyway, Trevor, have you ever wondered

  • why women don't get the historic credit they deserve?

  • Uh, sexism?

  • Statues, Trevor.

  • Women don't have as many statues as men.

  • In fact, nationwide,

  • only eight percent of outdoor statues are of women.

  • Wow. How did you know that statistic?

  • (laughs) I drink Snapple!

  • -(bleep) I... -(laughter)

  • (bleep) I read. What?

  • (laughter)

  • Internet. Come on, dawg.

  • And I've seen it for myself.

  • I was walking through Central Park the other day--

  • under duress-- and I saw statues

  • of Alexander Hamilton, Christopher Columbus,

  • William Shakespeare, all famous men from history.

  • When it comes to women,

  • there's only two statues in Central Park--

  • Alice in Wonderland and Mother Goose.

  • (laughter)

  • Which makes no damn sense!

  • Alice is just a white girl who took Molly.

  • (laughter)

  • And why does Mother Goose get a statue?

  • All she did was (bleep) a goose!

  • (laughter)

  • I... I don't think that's right.

  • (laughter)

  • -Fine. She made love... to a goose! -No. That's not...

  • Okay, anyway, Dulcé, I'm lost.

  • How does having more statues help?

  • Because, Trevor, statues help us remember history.

  • When you walk past a statue, and you're like,

  • "Oh, yeah, MLK did have a dream,

  • Thomas Jefferson was a complicated individual,"

  • and when you don't honor women the same way you honor men,

  • you're leaving them out of history.

  • That-That's true. That's true.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Well, well, at least...

  • at least women have the Statue of Liberty.

  • That's one of the most famous statues in the world.

  • That doesn't count.

  • We need statues of real women,

  • not some giant French bitch holding an ice cream!

  • (laughter)

  • No, someone like Toni Morrison, the first black woman to win...

  • (applause and cheering)

  • ...the Nobel Prize for Literature.

  • Or someone like Frances Perkins,

  • the first woman appointed to a presidential cabinet.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Or someone like Beyoncé.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • The first woman to be Beyoncé.

  • (laughter)

  • Why doesn't she have a statue?

  • I mean, she's already standing like a statue. She's ready!

  • This... this is actually a great idea.

  • But-but I hope you understand, building thousands of statues

  • of women is gonna be difficult.

  • I mean, statues are expensive.

  • You know, this is gonna be a project

  • that's gonna take a lot of time.

  • -Oh, I've already done it, Trevor. -What?

  • I've designed one statue to symbolize all women--

  • their power, their beauty, their mystique!

  • A flawless avatar of womanhood...

  • (laughter)

  • ...that anyone can look at and see... themselves.

  • Dulce, that... that's a statue of you.

  • (voice breaking): Oh, Trevor!

  • (laughter)

  • I'm touched that you can see me in that art.

  • (laughter)

  • No, it's literally you. It has your name on it.

  • And also, why are you holding a baby?

  • You don't have kids.

  • That baby symbolizes America, okay?

  • Which women have been carrying for far too long!

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Okay.

  • Nah, I'm kidding. It's-it's just Elvis' baby.

  • 'Cause that's some history I want to make.

  • Dulcé Sloan, everybody!

March is Women's History Month.

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