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  • LET'S GET RIGHT INTO THE HEADLINES.

  • WELL, PRESIDENT TRUMP'S DEFENSE TEAM HAS FINISHED

  • PRESENTING THEIR ARGUMENTS IN THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

  • AND YOU MAY HAVE RECOGNIZED A FAMILIAR FACE DURING THE CLOSING

  • ARGUMENTS LAST NIGHT.

  • ONE OF TRUMP'S LAWYERS IS ALAN DERSHOWITZ, WHO FAMOUSLY

  • REPRESENTED O.J. SIMPSON.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SO, OBVIOUSLY, HE'S PRETTY MUCH

  • THE GO-TO LAWYER IF ALL SIGNS POINT TO YOU BEING VERY, VERY

  • GUILTY.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) REPUBLICANS CONTROL THE SENATE

  • SO THEY'RE GOING TO THINK TRUMP'S INNOCENT NO MATTER WHAT.

  • IT WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS EFFECTIVE IF DERSHOWITZ WENT UP

  • THERE AND SANG "BOY WITH LUV."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • >> James: THAT'S WEIRD.

  • SEEMS TO BE SOME BTS FANS HERE.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IF YOU ARE HERE FOR BTS YOU ARE

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IF YOU ARE HERE FOR BTS YOU ARE

  • GOING TO LOVE THIS NEXT STORY.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SOME BIG NEWS FROM THE WHITE

  • HOUSE TODAY.

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP ANNOUNCED A NEW OUTLINE FOR A MIDDLE EAST

  • PEACE PLAN, WHICH HE IS CALLING, "THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY."

  • THIS FINALLY OVERTAKES TRUMP'S PREVIOUS DEAL OF THE CENTURY.uú

  • WHICH WAS WHEN HE HAD THAT COUPON TO GET THAT "TWO FOR

  • ONE BIG MACS."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AS PART OF HIS PLAN, TRUMP

  • RELEASED A MAP WITH NEW BORDERS FOR THE REGION.

  • I MEAN, WHO BETTER FOR THE JOB, RIGHT?

  • TRUMP HAS ALREADY SHOWN TREMENDOUS SUCCESS WITH HIS

  • MEXICAN BORDER WALL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HE'S THE PERFECT PERSON.

  • IT TOOK TRUMP FOUR YEARS BUT HE FINALLY HAS THE PERFECT

  • COMPROMISE FOR ISRAEL AND PALESTINE.

  • BASICALLY, EVERYTHING STAYS THE SAME, BUT NOW IT'S CALLED

  • DON-SRAEL AND TRUMP-ESTINE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • MOVING ON, WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

  • AN INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER WENT TO TAKE A SELFIE ON A BEACH IN

  • SOUTH AFRICA AND GOT PHOTO-BOMBED BY WELL, THIS...

  • TWO PENGUINS GETTING IT ON.

  • ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( LAUGHTER )

  • SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT WAS GOING ON, BECAUSE

  • MORGAN FREEMAN WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE NARRATING THE WHOLE

  • THING.

  • CAN I SEE THAT PHOTO AGAIN?

  • LOOK AT THAT PHOTO.

  • NOW, I'VE GOT TO SAY, THIS SEEMS LESS LIKE PENGUINS PHOTOBOMBING

  • HER, AND MORE LIKE THEM HAVING SOME TIME ALONE WHILE SHE MADE

  • AN X-RATED PENGUIN VIDEO.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE PENGUINS ARE REPORTEDLY VERY

  • EMBARRASSED AFTER GETTING CAUGHT HAVING SEX ON CAMERA, BUT ALSO

  • VERY EXCITED TO LAUNCH THEIR REALITY TV CAREERS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND, FINALLY, WE HAD TO TELL YOU

  • ABOUT THIS.

  • THE STATE OF VERMONT IS CONSIDERING ALLOWING DRIVERS TO

  • PUT EMOJIS ON THEIR LICENSE PLATES.

  • ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) YEAH.

  • THAT WOULD MAKE POLICE CHASES A WHOLE LOT WEIRDER.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) "I'M GONNA NEED BACKUP.

  • WE'RE IN HOT PURSUIT OF A STOLEN VEHICLE, LICENSE PLATE: DANCING

  • LADY, PEACH, EGGPLANT, MONKEY WITH EYES COVERED, SORRY, EARS

  • COVERED, PERSON WITH PALM ON FACE.

  • FORGET IT, HE'S GONE."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • LICENSE PLATES WITH EMOJIS.

  • I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS.

  • THEY'LL GO GREAT WITH VERMONT'S NEW STATE MOTTO, "VERMONT, IT'S

  • LIKE, WHATEVS."

LET'S GET RIGHT INTO THE HEADLINES.

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