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  • Shut up!

  • We're not... we're not saying anything.

  • - What? - Uh, Joey cried last night.

  • Thank you.

  • We were playing poker, right?

  • There was chocolate on the three, it looked like an eight, alright?

  • Oh, guyyou should've seen him, "Read 'em and weep."

  • And then he did.

  • Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?

  • Yeah, what is that, like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing?

  • Like, it's poker, so only guys can play.

  • No, women are welcome to play.

  • Oh, okay, so, then, what is it?

  • Some kind of, you know, like... like some kind of, you know, like...

  • Alright, what is it?

  • There just don't happen to be any women in our game.

  • Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.

  • - Oh. - Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!

  • I mean, it's... it's a typical guy response.

  • Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?

  • No.

  • But you could teach us.

  • No.

  • Okay, so, now we draw cards.

  • So, I wouldn't need any, right? 'Cause I have a straight.

  • - Oh, good for you! - Congratulations!

  • Okay, Pheebs, how many do you want?

  • Okay, I just need two.

  • The, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.

  • No, Pheebs, you can't doyou can't⏤

  • - Oh, wait, I have the ten of spades. Here, you want it? - No, no.

  • - Uh, no, see, uh, you... you can't do that. - Oh, no..., that's okay, that's okay.

  • I don't need them; I'm going for fours.

  • Oh, you're..

  • Alright, here we go.

  • We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudités.

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what are you doing?

  • This is a poker game, you can't serve food with more than one syllable.

  • It's gotta be, like, chips, or dip, or Pretz.

  • - Okay, so, at this point, the dealer⏤ - Alright...

  • - You know, we got it, we got it; let's play for real, alright? - Yeah.

  • - High stakes, big bucks. - Alright, now, you sure?

  • Phoebe just threw away two Jacks because they didn't look happy.

  • But, I'm ready, so, just deal.

  • Okay, alright, last-minute lesson, last-minute lesson.

  • Joey, three... eight.

  • Eight, three, alright, very good.

  • Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

  • I see, so, then, um you were lying.

  • About what?

  • About how good your cards were.

  • I was bluffing.

  • A-ha! And what is bluffing?

  • Is it not another word for "lying"?

  • - Okay, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before lunch tomorrow. - Woah...

  • Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.

  • Settle what?

  • The Jamestown colony of Virginia.

  • You see, King George is giving us the land, so...

  • The game, Rachel, the game; you owe us money for the game.

  • - Oh, right. - You know what, you guys? It's their first time.

  • Why don't we just forget about the money.

  • Hell, no, we'll pay!

  • Okay, Monica, I had another answer "Aw" all ready.

  • And you know what? We want a rematch.

  • Well, that's fine with me; could use the money.

  • So, basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.

  • Yeah.

  • Yes, and I get my ya-yas from IKEA.

  • You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

  • Look, Rach, this is poker.

  • I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose.

  • So, if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a nice guy, okay?

  • 'Cause once those cards are dealt...

  • Yeah?

  • I'm not a nice guy.

Shut up!

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