I like that.

Dr Drew it up with the deejay booth for you guys.

Holy shit.

You guys are hot.

I feel like legit.

Snapchat filters everywhere.

Amazing.

Except for this duties, that dog filter.

I don't know.

I'm not even looking out of your hair.

Chris Bell got hot like I wasn't gonna come tonight.

I was gonna come.

I wasn't really feeling it.

Right.

But Chris was like, You gotta calm your whole areas.

You're so funny.

You're so funny.

You gotta come.

Please do a spot.

I was like, All right, I'll come.

I'm kidding.

It was meals like Oh, my God.

I'm gonna come.

I'm so funny.

Please, I'm hilarious.

I'm so funny.

Please, Chris, please.

Then I got on.

You know what it was like?

Well, like, at least got way.

So I'm here, guys.

I mean, I feel you know, I film.

You know, my mom is the cutest Filipino lady ever.

Oh, my God.

She's I was in Vegas about a month ago, and my mom says to me if they're going to Vegas, make sure you go to the Caesar salad.

I was like, Mom, it's palace.

You like salad.

Phallus.

Same thing.

My same thing.

Asians that were you e don't like Asians.

I don't like getting my love.

Oh, my love agent.

I just don't like the feisty bitches.

You know what I'm talking about?

Those those spicy one trying rude.

This is a true story, Okay?

I was at T and T Asian supermarket on.

I saw this Asian broad, okay?

And this girl was just yelling at her, man.

Okay, Like this guy was getting in trouble over something so stupid over bubble tea.

She was like, Hey, you order on people above a T s.

O guy was just taking it like a hussy.

Probably because he was white.

I've seen the way some of these Asian Broad Street, They're white men.

It's not cool, right?

So I got advice to you white guys that are in a mess.

Spring roll of a relationship.

Next time, you're mean attitude.

Asian girlfriend trusted dick.

You around, take her makeup and burn it.

Various.

Blow it up.

She'll be powerless without trust me tough.

Are you without your eyebrows, Theo?

Unless you talk to them more than you love those girls.

Grown gangsta bitch is my highbrows 100% tattooed on.

I'm fucking crazy.

I make sure I look all right for you guys tonight.

Uh, I made the mistake.

I did a show.

The show was a big deal for me.

And my friend recorded this.

Said I watched it back.

And guys, my camel toe was on fire.

I was wearing really tight pants and a short, short, you know, it was so bad, right?

Like my set was okay, but my camel toe killed.

Okay.

Like, why didn't I?

D'oh my camel toe material.

I want to hear what?

It Zoe?

I messed with the front row.

This is perfect, right?

They love the front row.

You know why?

So you could stay on my camel toe?

I want you to stare it.

It just tear it when you started.

I don't want you to think about anything sexual.

Okay?

I want you to think about a big bowl of rice.

That's what I ate before I came here a big bowl.

Right.

And this is where that's all going.

All those cars, All those calories, right?

There is some Filipino girl shit.

All Filipino girls.

Skinny, chubby.

We got fat guys, it's not ugly or anything.

It's cute, you know?

You know, thing is where I think that's why we're nice.

That's why that's why we're here.

That's why we're nurses.

Way got caregiver pussy Guys make love to fill in a woman.

Amazing.

We'll make love to you.

Listen to your secrets, Cook you soup and sing you cario.

Amazing, Amazing.

Welcome to Manila.

I shouldn't do that joke.

Then they would have been so self aware.

That's great.

You guys like the music that right now it's like they don't make music the way they used to write.

I was born in the eighties, you know.

Grew up in the nineties way.

Remember, Let's talk about sex.

Big league.

Let's talk about you and me, All right?

That song was dope, Okay?

I was in grade for when that song came out.

I couldn't wait to have sex.

And then a great five.

I took sex education.

I was like that.

You fucking wait.

I don't want anybody sticking things in the place that I clean the most.

I sister called me earlier.

My sister's funny.

She's one of those people that will call me to validate her insecurities, right?

So she calls me up, just like, Oh, my God.

I feel amazing.

I paid off all my credit card bills.

I'm pretty much debt free.

Really?

Then why don't you get the fuck off my Netflix account?

I'm not operating a for user's bitch.

Watch this fuckin howto make a murderer.

I don't know why I did that.

I just don't like him.

Just kicking.

So come is weird, isn't it?

So we're coming, like the most dangerous, most sacred, most disgusting, most tastiest substance on her.

And we all come from come.

Is that crazy, like, all like, way were a liquid ones.

And now we're here, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Crystal Bell Show.

Like we made it, guys.

Maximal level.

Like, give yourselves a round.

Speaking of home, I got two kids, guys.

Yeah, I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get it.

My son, He's He's adorable.

He's out of diapers now, and, uh, it was funny this one time I was changing his diaper.

Right?

I got freaked out because I opened up his diaper and it looked like there was a skin growth on his little winky, you know?

And I Look, I was scared.

I looked closer and I realized it's just too Cheerios one another, Like right at the tip.

I was like, How did that happen?

That's amazing.

You know, I'm so proud, Right?

And then we grab them and then he I'm getting I grabbed them and I You guys are married?

Yeah, Happily married.

I'm married, Guys, I love my husband.

He's amazing.

I think my husband rides motorcycles and, uh, he rides motorcycles with his five Lebanese friends.

Okay?

And it's because they were like their leather jackets and like, their leather pants.

And every time I hear them rolling up the block, I'm like, Oh, look, it's Hollows Angels, right?

Just like shawarma patches on the back with liver donors dishes.

So you So you doing comedy is a challenge, guys, it really is like talk to all the comics in the back, the struggle, you know.

But I like the challenge like challenging myself.

My latest challenge, actually is to pretend that I'm blind.

Uh, that's not necessary.

Like like being blind, but like looking blind, you know, that dead stare that live will get 20%.

Just doing that.

I was dropping shit all over the kitchen was one time.

What the hell are you doing?

I don't know.

But how do I live right now?

E that when I do that during sex, don't touch his face like that.

You get all mad.

I'll be like just from the back way.

I love being married, though, because it's okay.

Like when you're married, you understand each other's habits stuff, right?

Like I always know when my husband wants to make love because it's always the only time that he ever brushes his teeth before bed.

You know, we'll be standing there brushing and not even say anything.

Just looking at me like, you know, I totally know what's coming.

And when he clauses, it's like a guarantee we're gonna get busy.

Like I don't even know that he lost.

I'm just somehow turned on by this boost of confidence that he gets from a good semiannual plus Be apart.

Get out of here.

I got you guys.

You guys see this video?

It was on Facebook.

It was a woman.

She found out that her husband was cheating on her.

Right, You guys, he's been And she thought that would be cool to videotape him coming over.

More like she's telling him off.

Right?

Anyways, at one point in the video, she says him.

How could you do this to me?

Cody, I don't love you.

I am the mother of your Children.

I've done nothing wrong.

I literally lick your asshole Cody and that this boy already forget that he cheated on her.

He doesn't even look like he has an office job.

He looks like, you know, he works from PCL Construction, right?

Drives a Chevy, right?

Like, you know, one of those guys like I love my husband.

Okay, is amazing.

And the father of my Children, he's done nothing wrong, But there's no way in hell that I'm ever licking his asshole waves as Theo and I don't want to get a stomachache, guys, I don't know, give the kids the kids.

They end up with pinkeye, right?

Everybody gets pinkeye epidemic because Mommy's a freak and Daddy's lazy.