Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> I DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING USED TO TELL US WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER. LIKE THEY USED TO TELL US HUMANS ARE 70% WATER. WHY? WE DON'T DO ANYTHING WATER STUFF. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO'S EVAPORATED. YOU CAN STAND TONE DRAIN ALL DAY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FALL IN IT. LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE JUMP IN A POOL AND JOIN THE POOL. YOU COME OUT AND YOU'RE THE SAME PERSON. IF I'M 70% WATER THEN WHY DO I GET THIRSTY? WHEN CAN I TAP INTO THE 70% YOU TOLD ME ABOUT. WHEN YOU'RE YOUNGER THEY TRY TO CONTROL THE WAY YOU THINK. THERE WERE PEOPLE IN MY SCHOOL AND THEY COULDN'T WATCH ANYTHING WITH WITCH CRAFT IN IT. ANYONE KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT? THEY COULDN'T WATCH SCOOBY DOO. THEY NEVER MADE IT TO THE END. THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY TAKE THE MASK OFF THERE'S A HUMAN IN THERE. THEY TOLD US RANDOM STUFF. LIKE HISTORY I DON'T THINK THEY HUD -- SHOULD TEACH TO CHILDREN UNTIL THEY'RE READY. REMEMBER COLUMBUS DAY? YEAH, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN LIKE THAT. WE HAD THE THANKSGIVING PLAY. EVERYBODY COUNT ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO. IF YOU'RE A ONE YOU'RE A PILGRIM IF, YOU'RE TWO YOU'RE A NATIVE-AMERICAN AND YOU HAD TO COLOR A HAT. LATER ON THEY'RE LIKE REMEMBER THANKSGIVING PLAY? YEAH, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN LIKE THAT. LIKE WHY'D YOU WASTE MY TIME? MY MOM TOOK OFF WORK FOR THAT PLAY. I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE US PLAY TO HELP US LATER IN YOUR LIFE. LIKE EVERYBODYOUNT OFF ONES AND TWOs. TOO IF YOU'RE A ONE YOU'RE A STATE, TWO IS A FEDERAL. THIS PLACE IS ABOUT TAXES. THAT WAY YOU CAN WATCH WHEN YOU'RE OLDER AND YOU'RE LIKE, THANK YOU, 5-YEAR-OLD. THAT WAS HELPFUL. I APPRECIATE THAT. REMEMBER THEY TOLD US GEORGE WASHINGTON HAD WOODEN TEETH? THEY NEVER TOLD US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIRST TEETH. DID HE NOT TAKE CARE OF THEM? DID HE LOSE THEM IN BATTLE? WAS THAT A COSMETIC OR MEDICAL PROCEDURE. DID HIS INSURANCE COVER IT. ? WAS THAT THE GOLD TOOTH OF HIS TIME? HE WAS LIKE I GOT THE WOOD GRAY, CHECK A BOY OUT. YOU SEE ME. SOMEBODY PAINT A PICTURE OF ME RIGHT NOW. THEY USED TO TELL US PLEASE IS THE MAGIC WORD. PLEASE DOESN'T WORK IN A DUMP SITUATION. IF YOU'RE CAR'S BEING REPOSSESSED, PLEASE IS NOT GOING HELP YOU. YOU GOT TO MAKE A PAYMENT. YOU NEVER HEAR THIS, RELEASE THE HOSTAGES. RELEASE THE HOSTAGES WHAT? PLEASE. ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. >> THAT'S FANTASTIC. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GREATEST ROB HAZE. HAZE-O-PEDIA IS OUT. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. THAT WAS SO GOOD.
A2 TheLateLateShow haze thanksgiving rob play told Rob Haze Stand-Up 177 2 林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/18 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary