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  • -Last night was President Trump's

  • State of the Union address, which we all saw on TV.

  • But it turns out he did a rehearsal of the speech

  • earlier in the day.

  • And we actually got our hands on the footage.

  • -Oh. -Yeah.

  • And it was quite a bit different.

  • But take a look.

  • -Thank you, thank you for joining me

  • at my State of Reunion.

  • -Okay, Mr. President. So, it's State of the Union.

  • -Yeah-huh. -Yeah, so let's try it again.

  • -Thank you for joining me at my Staycation Union.

  • -No, it's State of the Union. Again.

  • -Thanks for joining me at my Steak on the Onion.

  • -What? -To my fellow Americans

  • and my one Russian.

  • -Nope. Cut. -What?

  • First things first, I'm going to tell you the name

  • of tonight's designated survivor and their precise location.

  • -No, please don't tell us that.

  • -Okay, I won't, but it is Don Jr.,

  • and he's at a Dave & Buster's.

  • Which tie do you think I should go with? Red?

  • Extra long red?

  • Or Fruit by the Foot?

  • What's up, guys? It's me, Donald Trump.

  • And you're watching my YouTube channel.

  • Don't forget to subscribe and smash that Like button.

  • Should we print this on unrippable paper

  • just in case someone tries to tear it up?

  • -Uh, no, we don't need to do that.

  • -Okay. We'll see.

  • I'm just glad they started out the caucuses in Ottawa.

  • -Oh, it's Iowa. -Idaho.

  • -Iowa? -Ohio.

  • -No, I-O-W-A.

  • -E-I-E-I-O.

  • That's what I said. Lot of great farmers.

  • I love the caucus

  • and all the caucus-ian people.

  • Usually when Caucasians vote, it goes my way.

  • -Cut!

  • [ Beep ]

  • -When I say "four more," you say "years."

  • Four more.

  • Four more.

  • We'll fix it in post, right?

  • I've made so many achievements.

  • Like this morning, I did that thing

  • where I got my shoes on without having to undo my laces.

  • I just shoved my feet in there and kind of wiggled them around,

  • and eventually, they fit right in.

  • I achieved both shoes.

  • What are we doing now?

  • -We're gonna practice shaking Nancy Pelosi's hand.

  • -Okay.

  • Psych.

  • [ Speaks indistinctly ]

  • And then this part we put on TikTok, right?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Am I doing it right?

  • I'm gonna need a pick-me-up. Someone Coke-Energy me.

  • [ Slurping ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Okay, thank you for watching.

  • You can stream my speech on YouTube, Hulu,

  • or the Shadow app. -Okay.

  • -And then I'll do the dance again, right?

  • We'll go back to the dance? -Sure.

  • ♪♪

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

-Last night was President Trump's

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