Everybody.

For first, we feast on Shaun Evans and you're watching hot ones.

It's the show with hot questions, even hotter wings and pull up your jeans.

Mommy's because Tommy Buns is in the building, is one of the biggest standup comics in the game.

His latest special, Disgraceful, is on Netflix now.

And, of course, the long running podcast Your Mom's House, hosted by Tom and his wife, slash fellow comedian Kristina P.

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Tom Segura.

Welcome to the show.

Thanks for having me, man.

How are you a spicy food feel like in recent years in time?

Haven't been, you know, actively going after it and have a lot of fear.

But you know what?

We have the chocolate milk lifeline.

I think we're gonna make it through Tom.

You like three year olds?

Let's do it.

Oh, Children's play right here, man.

It's a crime to call that spicy right?

So now that you have a deep love for hip hop's golden age, standing for camp low and often tell in your audience, if you don't know who Big Daddy Kane is, you can go fuck yourself.

That's right.

These days there's an intense generational gap debate between hip hop heads, some curious.

Where do you stand on this new breed of rappers?

Birth from the Internet?

I do have this thing where you're conscious of the fact that you don't want to be like the old guy, because you can feel it being like none of this new kids don't know how to rhyme for whatever dumb take you have on it.

Um, here's actually the real thing about I think hip hop is that it became so big that there is a lot of garbage.

A lot of bullshit because it's so big.

I remember as a kid going to music stores.

You knew everybody because it was like 18 people.

Queen Latifah run D M C E p M d gang star Rock him L L Cool J M.

C.

Lyte and you're like, That's everybody who raps in the world.

That's it.

So and they had to be pretty good to get albums and get deals.

And you know, now it's just it's a huge, you know, The whole entertainment is just huge.

So it was gonna be bullshit, and there's gonna be good stuff and there's there's good stuff now for sure.

You have a take on Takashi 69 Fuck that guy.

Have you had him on this show?

No, but I really want a mother.

Really?

Yeah.

For what?

One education.

Quote Shakespeare, some.

Listen, I'm in the eyeballs gate and he drags and his dragons in my balls.

You know, I'm actually say fuck that guy, but fuck that guy is your neighbor's version of spicy.

I'm not touching that traveled milk, man.

There it is inspiring to witness.

I want to take it back to Mecca in Wisconsin.

I know you played linebacker for the Homestead Highlanders.

Is it true that used to piss on yourself?

Channing Crowder style.

Okay.

No.

And yes, it wasn't a regular thing.

I'm just saying it's quite nor deal to get a football uniform fully together.

You know, you got there, and then the toilet is 100 yards away.

So I said there was a couple times where I had to go, and I was just, like, making already sweating.

And you're covered in dirt.

You're like, fuck it.

Right?

So that probably been a few times.

I did puke before every game.

You know, that's kind of a common thing.

I think everybody has the guy on the team that pukes.

Yeah, Yeah, I would see it at one time.

Were playing like Highland.

I remember.

Threw him in three point stance.

My lean on my hands in the dirt, and the guy in front of me is like, £340.

And so he's playing offense, and there's court.

Another quarterback, like, down set.

And he goes by and just pukes all through it all over my armor.

I'm like you motherfucker.

And, like, neither one of us flinched.

He was just like, that's what happens, you know, easy.

Really easy.

No problem here is Tom None?

Yeah.

I wasn't still fuck Nike, but Nike man 100% don't fuck with that company.

Are you still ride or die on three stripes?

Yeah.

I mean, I was in Portland, which I didn't know.

I always knew Nike was up there.

I didn't know.

Actually, they both are.

The road up there.

I have heard the best thing about how much they hate each other.

I did a show up there, and this dude who was opening.

The show's emceeing the show was doing.

There he goes.

Yeah, I used to be a messenger here in town, but, Dr, you know, packages around town and Nike and Adidas Air so competitive in Portland that they would know that Let's say a prototype for a shoe was being put in a box and driven across because they have so many properties around town, they would pay you to stop and take pictures of the other ones prototype.

So eventually they started put timers and they would know exactly how long the drive should take.

And then they would know exactly if you stopped so they would put decoys, shoes and boxes.

They would start to put locks in boxes like you didn't but probably shit in a box.

If they thought this was gonna gain them an edge, he was like, Yeah, basically.

And he goes one time this makes me laugh so hard he goes.

I was on the Nike campus and I was delivering a package, and an executive stopped me, and he was like, What the fuck are you wearing and anything that down?

And I'm wearing, like, just some B s sneakers?

You know jihad.

Disrespectful.

It is tow walk around our campus and not wear Nikes.

And the messenger goes, Well, I can't afford him.

So I'm just wearing what I can afford from the guy goes All right, stop in the lobby on your way out of here, Okay?

And don't wear that shit around here again.

The guy's like, all right, but at the same time, he's rejoicing.

He's like, Man, this is awesome.

So he dropped off the package.

He goes the lobby.

He's like, Hey, I'm so and so And he goes, I think you guys have something for me and they go, Yeah, and they give it to him.

Any walks out to his car and he opens it.

And the guy had left him like the the Walgreens janitor.

Elevens like the theme All black with no logo.

And he goes Two days later, the seals came apart, and I just love that that executive could have given them anything and it would have costed him Nothing.

He would have been like leaving a pair of Jordans, leaving some dung clothes.

And he was like, give that guy the biggest piece of shit.

Shoot.

We have because he's not worth it.

That's how savage those guys are.

It means like he was really actually super pissed, you know?

Like That's, like a lesson thing.

That's right.

That's right.

He was so mad I could give you the shittiest shoes we have, Um, a little bit.

I don't see you return the chocolate milk.

We're still good.

What city would you say?

Has the most savage hecklers?

Wolf man, That is a tough one.

There's a lot of animals out there.

I mean, one of crazy shows I've ever had is in Miami.

Miami runs on savagery.

Dude, they would just talk to you in the crowd, Like as you're on stage, Like I don't know about that.

And you're like, I'm not.

This isn't a press conference.

I'm just doing my thing.

And it's in two languages.

People yelling shit in Spanish to you.

My name is pretty crazy.

Philly doesn't fuck around.

Um, you got it.

You got to come with, like, a little more aggression.

I feel like in those cities and fuck it.

I mean, Houston, they're psychos, too.

And then my favorite thing that you do on the road is when you troll these local morning shows like when you went and did River City live in Jacksonville to announce that you're a gender non binary?

Reagan asked.

I want to make it last year, you know, I came out as Polly, and by and now I'm proud to say that I'm non binary.

What is that?

Is there any?

Is there more to this?

What's the reaction to situations like that?

Do you find that these hos just sort of blindly go with it?

Do they know that you're joking?

Do you ever get chewed out when the cameras cut?

I've had the full spectrum of reactions.

That one.

That lady was really upset.

I could kind of tell she, Yeah, there's one part to where I was like I said something about my gender being from outer space.

And if you see her, she goes like like she really is kind of like a look of disgust.

And when we cut, she was like, I don't know what's happening here.

I don't know.

She started talking like the club person next to me who brought me that.

She was like, What is up with this guy?

He's the weirdest guy I've ever met in my life.

I don't know how this helps him on his shows, but I told her I was like, I don't care about showing the d.

J.

I just care about after party.

And she was just like, I don't get it.

And then we got in the car and she called.

She was like, What is up with that?

I'm like, I'm right here.

We didn't split up.

She was just really off put by the whole thing, which ended up actually being kind of my most joyful experience.

This next one is the low scallion days.

Yeah.

Yeah, your sauce.

It really is delicious, Shawn.

Thank you.

If I were in the market to buy one of these, I would get this one first.

I said you're good.

There.

That was great.

Okay, we got you a bottle.

All right.

I'll throw a condo in there to thank you.

Hi, Tom.

We have recurring segment on our show called.

Explain that, Grandma.

We do a deep dive in our guest instagram.

Interesting pictures that need more context Saw bust out the laptop.

I'll show you the picture, then you just tell me the bigger story.

Does that sound good?

Yeah.

Top, please.

How you doing so far, I'm doing well.

You're doing so good.

All right.

First things first.

Hey, Time.

Yeah.

Mike Tyson.

That was a wild day, dude.

Mike Tyson to me, you know, it's just it's larger than life.

It's one of those.

So I saw him board my flight and I just It was surreal.

And I heard these dad boners behind me, like boring him to tears.

And then I was like, I got to try some and I went up to him.

He was really nice.

And I gave him a DVD because at the time, those were thing and and then I sat back down and he comes back over as I'm seated, puts his hand on my shoulder, and he goes, uh, he leans into my Here he goes.

I've been watching a lot of Netflix.

He just looked at me like, now you talk.

I was like, Ah, yeah, necklace is awesome.

And then he showed me the day he's like, That's on Netflix.

Sounds like yeah, that's that's our Netflix.

And he goes, I'm a big fan.

I'm like, Okay, and then he goes uh, give me your phone number.

I'm telling everybody, by the way, just that part.

You know, Brown friend to call my dad.

That's a W Oh, yeah, like Mike Tyson's got my phone number like it's crazy.

And the next day, like an hour before the show phone rings and it's him, he's I'm coming to your show tonight, man.

I want to see you.

Do you work like he's talking like in fight term and let's see, workout and shit.