Thank you. Thanks.

It's great to be here.

I grew up in New York City, and I went to college here, too.

I went to Juilliard. I played the viola.

[ Cheers and applause ]

If you don't know what a viola is, I'll tell you.

It's like a violin but a little bigger

and nobody cares. [ Light laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

I like telling people I went to Juilliard

because they act impressed, and then I act modest...

[ Light laughter ]

...and I love that. [ Light laughter ]

They're like, "Whoa, Juilliard." I'm like, "Eh, it's nothing."

They're like, "Wow, humble and talented."

I'm like, "Yes." [ Laughter ]

"I am perfect." [ Laughter ]

It's annoying when sometimes

someone hasn't heard of Juilliard.

[ Laughter ]

'Cause then I just have to politely explain to them

that it's a big deal.

[ Laughter ]

They're like, "Oh, what's Juilliard?"

I'm like, "Oh, it's just, you know,

one of the best music schools."

They're like, "Oh, music? My niece plays violin."

I'm like, "Yeah, she wouldn't get in."

[ Laughter and applause ]

When I was 9, I went to soccer camp,

and that was a nightmare 'cause I was bad at sports.

And I knew I was particularly bad,

because at the camp,

everyone would call me a "good sport."

[ Light laughter ]

That's where you're just so used to losing

and it gets mistaken for a good attitude.

[ Laughter ]

I was like, "Well, we lost again."

The coach is like, "This kid gets it."

[ Laughter ]

But I'm competitive,

and I liked being called a good anything.

So, "good sport," I was like, "All right.

I will be the best sport."

[ Laughter ]

And at the end of the summer, they gave out these awards.

And they announced the sportsmanship award.

And I was fully expecting to get this, and I didn't.

Some other loser did.

[ Laughter ]

Apparently, this quiet girl named Jenny had been muttering

"Good game" the whole summer.

[ Laughter ]

I went up to her after.

I was like, "Hey, congratulations."

She was like, "You should've gotten it."

I was like, "Oh, you're good, Jenny."

[ Laughter and applause ]

Jenny... [ Scoffs ]

I was with my friend recently,

and she said something kind of weird to me.

She was like, "Isabel, you have resting sad face."

[ Light laughter ]

I was like, "Oh, no. It's active."

[ Laughter ]

I don't smile a lot in my everyday life.

I have kind of a goofy smile. I get self-conscious.

But it's fun when I get that cat call, like,

"Hey, baby, smile." "Okay." [ Growls ]

They're like, "Never mind." [ Laughter ]

I have been sad.

I recently went through a break-up.

And I'm scared to fall in love again now

because here's what I learned about love, all right?

Love is the only thing that, when you lose it,

you doubt it ever existed in the first place.

[ Audience "Awws" ]

No one ever loses their keys and they're like,

"Well, maybe there never were any keys.

I don't even know."

[ Laughter and applause ]

"Maybe I've just been letting myself in with lies."

[ Laughter ]

I've been trying to get out of the house more.

I was in a coffee shop recently,

and I saw a mother with her baby.

And I went up to them, and I was like, "Excuse me.

She's so cute." And the mom said, "Thank you,"

taking the compliment for the baby.

[ Laughter ]

That made me think, "I wish I had my mom with me

to take all the compliments I receive in public today."

[ Light laughter ] That'd be nice.

Some guy walks by me, he's like, "Damn, she's sexy."

My mom's like, "Thank you."

[ Laughter ]

"Isabel, the nice man wants to bang you.

Say thank you." [ Laughter ]

I love my mom. I do.

We have a good relationship.

My mom recently informed me that I breastfed till I was 3.

[ Laughter ]

I was like, "Yeah, Mom, I remember."

[ Laughter and applause ]

"I was in preschool, yeah."

Kids would be like, "You wanna trade lunches?"

I was like, "My mom just left."

[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]

Thank you! I'm Isabel Hagen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

-I have to fist-bump you.

I can't shake hands.

Isabel Hagen! Oh, my goodness!

[ Cheers and applause ]

For more, go to isabelhagen.com.