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  • OK.

  • I ask a question, you answer honestly.

  • And then you hit that for no apparent reason.

  • You famously wore Calvin Klein briefs.

  • What do you sleep in at night?

  • A pair of shorts.

  • Was I correct?

  • We're going to have to see proof.

  • Like workout shorts or something?

  • Workout shorts, yeah.

  • All right.

  • Unless something happens, and then--

  • And then you take them off?

  • I always keep my socks on.

  • OK.

  • Oh, that's--

  • Let's just put it that way.

  • That's for real.

  • That's for real?

  • You always keep your socks on?

  • Except for the shower.

  • Everywhere else, you got me with socks-- or the ocean.

  • You have a thing with your feet?

  • You don't like to see your feet?

  • No, I don't mind my feet.

  • But my feet are softer than my 10-year-old daughter's feet.

  • Like, super-soft baby feet.

  • Oh, you're protecting them?

  • Yeah.

  • I keep my-- soft feet.

  • So what can happen to them in bed?

  • Anything.

  • Who knows?

  • It's just a thing now.

  • What kind of sheets do you have that you're worried

  • about scratching up your feet?

  • You need to get some new sheets if you're getting--

  • I feel sexy when?

  • I have my socks on.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Now, when you and your wife first got together

  • and the socks were on, did she--

  • I mean, she's gotten used to it now.

  • And she accepts you and loves you for who you are.

  • But in the beginning, did she think it was weird

  • that you left your socks on?

  • She thought it was ridiculous.

  • But now, you know what?

  • Now, everybody's figured out what to get me.

  • I just get socks.

  • All the time.

  • Wow.

  • You must have a lot of socks.

  • I do.

  • All right.

  • Say something sexy but do it in a Boston accent.

  • Oh.

  • I was naked, with everything but my socks on in the car.

  • So everything but your socks?

  • Oh, everything-- yeah, I was naked--

  • See, now you're naked except for--

  • --nothing but my socks in the car.

  • My wife is better than me at?

  • Almost everything.

  • Good answer.

  • I wish my kids would learn how to?

  • Understand the word no.

  • Two letters, N-O.

  • You've done two movies with Will Ferrell.

  • Name one thing that you don't like about Will Ferrell.

  • We've done three movies together.

  • And the only thing I don't like about Will Ferrell is that--

  • oh, his hair smells so damn good.

  • It really does.

  • And I found myself going--

  • they put this, like, Moroccanoil in his hair.

  • And I was riding on a motorcycle--

  • I was strapped to him on the back of the motorcycle

  • in "Daddy's Home."

  • And I was, like--

  • and then all of a sudden, I started laying on his head.

  • And they were, like-- uh, Mark?

  • You're supposed to be the cool tough dad, who

  • doesn't like this guy.

  • And I'm, like, but his hair smells so good.

  • You can put that in your hair too.

  • It's good for your hair.

  • I don't have the curls.

  • You don't need the curls.

  • You can put Moroccanoil on any hair.

  • I'll try it.

  • You put it on your feet and then put the socks on.

  • But then it feels all gooey.

  • But then it'll absorb.

  • All right.

  • I'll try that.

  • Give it a try.

  • Besides your face, what body part

  • do you look at the most in the mirror?

  • Not my feet.

  • I don't know.

  • Yes you do.

  • My hands.

  • That's a lie.

  • It is a lie.

  • Who was your first kiss with?

  • Mom.

  • Gross.

  • I didn't say open-mouth--

  • I know.

  • --like, full-on tongue.

  • I would imagine she kissed me when I came out.

  • Maybe she slapped me, I don't know.

  • What are three words that best describe you?

  • Hard working man.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Hard could just be on its own.

  • Ooh, hey.

  • What's your best beauty tip?

  • Keep your socks on if you want soft feet.

  • I'm dying to see your feet now.

  • I mean, I really want to touch them.

  • Oh, we're out of time.

  • Did I win?

  • Yes, you won!

  • Spenser Confidential is on Netflix March 6th.

  • We'll be back.

OK.

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