from mr. Benjamin I am on my way to Ryerson University they invited me to

speak in their women and leadership summit which is super exciting the theme

of this talk is called power so it's just a lot of amazing powerful women

that are coming telling their stories and I feel super honored to be one of

them today I'm going to be talking about successful self care

how are you feeling I don't know nervous my thumb you know

modeling was and still is an industry that puts a lot of pressure on girls and

women to look a certain way and it's even more difficult because I was still

16 years old and at 16 you're still trying to figure out who you are and

what's your identity modeling did give me a lot of amazing opportunities not

only did it gave me the financial freedom to support myself but it also

forced me to face all my insecurities face to face whether I liked it or not I

learned what made me angry what makes me sad what I'm willing to compromise on

and most importantly why and although modeling allowed me to tap

into the self awareness it still allowed me to play small and by playing small I

mean when we don't let ourselves go after the great things that we know that

we can achieve has anyone ever felt that way before I

know happens every single day something so crucial was missing and that was my

identity my identity as valaria not as a mother not as a wife not as a model but

the core me

I'm internet famous it doesn't happen but thank you how I build my network

well when I started on YouTube it really didn't come to me that this is gonna

become a business and that's why I really wanted to mention how I just

followed an interest of mine I didn't know how it's going to develop I just

started putting content out there my purpose was to you know try to help

people I have all this information from being in the fashion industry Beauty and

nutrition I was like how do I put content out there for free let people

learn that people consume it I just really try as much as they can to stay

in tune with the people that are part of my community and to every day that I put

something out there I ask myself how is this going to bring value to somebody is

it going to make them laugh is it's gonna make them cry so it's going to

motivate them and once I have any answer for that that content goes like this

industry is a tricky thing because my content doesn't mean my content is my

life I don't really have separation and that's something that I accepted I'm not

trying to portray this like perfect image this is hard and it gets even

harder when there's children involved and like a grown-up life the thing that

I think helped me so much is the fact that from the get-go

I didn't portray myself as somebody else this is who I am this is what I'm

interested in I always say I'm not an expert about anything I just share what

I'm learning and what I'm passionate about and I think that really helped me

to keep doing this because I don't have to put extra energy into waking up and

be like okay I have to put this mask on and go and work I don't try hard to like

separate it because I know it's impossible

but what I do use is self-awareness to know when you know what today I'm gonna

shut this off and focus on my kids today I'm going out you know kind of tilt the

balance a little bit because balance is changing every single day and that's

kind of what helps me to keep going that has been actually one of the biggest

blessings in social media for me so I really turn it around to instead of

looking at it as big negative into being my future and guy there's one thing that

I do that are trained myself to do whenever I see a negative comment or you

know someone's judging me number one I again qualify them are these people that

if I click on their profile there's no picture it's like Angela love cats.com

there are people unfortunately today they go online just because they're not

happy with their own life so they'll go out there to spread that negativity and

judgment so if that's Angela calm I'm like thanks Angela I'm wishing you all

the best I don't respond sometimes I even blocked blocking is a

magical tool you guys you have to use it more even in real life that's kind of

the first box that Isis second group that I look for is people that I've been

engaging with subscribers of mine they want to have a discussion

they have like a different point of view and sometimes I'm like it's kind of

irrelevant and they've not informed enough or sometimes I'm like oh that's a

great point and that teaches me to learn more about this subject or to pay

attention to something else group number three is the golden group these are

people that are my people that been there from this start and I'm like I

know that they want the best for me and I'm gonna look at that criticism that

judgment and I am we don't know I'm not gonna look at it as judgment I'm gonna

look at it as an opportunity to learn so every single time I read a negative

comment I'm like okay is this box a box B or buck C and that really helps me to

navigate through in this social media world of everyone

you

okay so we are done with the derives on top it was so fun and I'm so happy it's

done I feel like it was another thing they were just I was just like so

nervous about that I think I did good there's obviously more improvement and I

can't wait to see the video to see it I think you're gonna get more comfortable

with these things with time I think you just have to keep doing that you have to

keep practicing I know I love the door I feel like I sound like a new passion

there's something about standing on stage and like seeing people that speaks

to meet these days there's so many amazing women in the audience now time

to take off the makeup and have my babies

oh yeah jakey you have to talk if you want to people you want to ask anything

what are you good good okay say thank you so much for joining me thank you so

much for doing this morning hi hello papa

thank you for learning that's a lie let me Gais when did a cut you want to call

me back in the line okay okay number one so this is what I have to do so when you

when a PK is that already in the cub cool

just call me and I okay good morning from doula Parvati household from mr.

Jake hi from mr. Benjamin Ben is obviously not

feeling Monday yeah your night into it up

I'm sure people can relate Benny you're a mood right now and we have Papa

lepovitz key in the front who's trying to figure out music we're going to side

it of course they know we've been telling them what's Atticus for the past

like year we're going to school oh you're so proper going to school and

we're just talking with Jake about his birthday because it's coming up and

we're trying to figure out what we're gonna do jakey wants to have a magician

show Ryan magic show but I'm not sure about locations where Phillips place

okay I'm gonna find out I'll ask his mommy I know Mama's gonna I don't know

yet but I will find out anyways I hope you guys have a good day I hope the sun

shining will make you positive and happy especially you

it is very sunny oh my god I'm gonna sneeze okay so we are going to TNT to

get a few outfits for a really awesome shoot that I have on Saturday with the

boys we are shooting the cover and an interview for modern music which is a

really cool magazine about motherhood and stuff I'm looking for some flowy

romantic looks it's 6:00 p.m. now I'm going for dinner with my girlfriend that

I've been canceling on her for like six months now so here I am being a friend

yeah because I'm always amazed how you think this like interest anybody at all

okay first of all it's the truffles so oh yeah that's really

gonna translate it into Instagram foodie sort of little thing and I use the

alcohol foodie so for me it makes me feel better that okay well if you have a

on your phone I mean snapped away good morning my beauties okay so we are on

our way to school when I drop off these little monkeys of mine Matty

yes monkeys and then momma's gonna go get you health cards because they've

been expired okay cool let's go somehow I managed not to film anything today

because I was so into this personal day thing that I decided to do and I've

accomplished so much a lot of administrative things I let it kind of

be a day off my creativity was like flowing I was messaging like the girls

all these content ideas that I got and different things that I want to start

doing like we announced the virtual book club in the beginning of every month I'm

gonna post a book I give like one mind for everybody to read the book and then

at the end of the man I'm gonna do like a live session where we actually like

discuss the bold and talk about it it's gonna just like promote reading more and

I'm just really excited about it I feel like on fire on fire I tell you we're

going through this phase now where the kids are obsessed with hava nagila which

is like Jewish traditional song could help

people put at weddings and other like celebrations they just want to hear it

all the time

okay great what do we do now yeah the key choreography for picky can we do the

ones

ready okay show me how you put your jacket on yeah so good okay my love it's

time for our Foreman checkup that we're late for but it's okay we're team

started a star star a us star yes you are that's done this done that's

not Wow I got my kids their dentist appointments

that I took to the pediatrician is scheduled another doctor support I'm

like mommy the hell out of my life right now now I have a podcast and we had a

little problem where apparently today I was supposed to go shop for the books

that were shooting but it wasn't in my calendar and the way I lived my life

today is that if it's not in my calendar it's not happening but it's okay we

moved it to another day oh my god okay two minutes I have a podcast didn't even

look at the questions that she wanted to ask me because they don't happen hello

hi Ashley how are you I'm good thank you so much I'm so excited to do this guy's

I'm going to dating right now I feel like I'm going to a quarter life crisis

trying to figure out who the hell I am and where am I going

I just had this podcast with Ashley Wood and we were discussing self-awareness

and stuff and honestly in the past like couple of weeks have been so off like

feel weird about not who I am but where is everything going I guess I was

talking to her and she was like I 30:29 but any chance this year that's

the time where Saturn return apparently every like 30 years you go to

kind of a crisis in your life all these questions and realizations trying to

find the canoe definition for yourself so I feel like that's what I'm going

through right now I don't know what the hell's going on I feel like I need to

redefine everything not even redefine but like learn new

ways of being cool that was a good talk trying to figure that all out so I'll

keep you posted okay so buddy wanna do yeah yeah what

time do you dare 9:30 I would you put the costume on okay I

need to put this man down to where with the egg you are yes okay let's do it

so Benjamin this is the last time people will see you looking like Benjamin no no

now you're gonna be a Luigi no it's the outside it's 46 you're for put your

hands yeah everything paladin we're going to do a mustache for you with

Mama's I don't want to I don't want my stash okay no mustache your baby luigi

no thank you oh you're not okay the quick breaks above I know any blonde

this oh there's not this year your mama too small no it's not

it is come on you little where's Benny and then you're gonna say and this is it

backpack well we need to okay Sunday force poor him at the kids school I

decided to dress up a speech to surprise the kids because Benny been asking me if

L do that I really want to add to the holiday spirit I'm gonna hop with the

stroller right let's bring some food just like casual no oh my god the kids

will be so excited I don't think anyone in the school will be dressed up like

none of the parents okay let's do this mother of the ER here I've seen people

walk around and none of the parents dressed up and that's what happens when

you get older and you grow up you just don't have the playful spirit left in

you

peach needs

speech do you like my costume okay you want to go let's my crap on Benny wait

wait be careful traffic gangs Mario