youcan't be a greatcriticalthinkerorconsequentialthinkerorreciprocalthinkeruntilyoustartthinkingoutsideyourself.
Hi, everybody.
I'm abouttobring a guestonthisshowthat I havesomuchadmirationfor, andyou'regonnabehearingfromhimin a fewmoments.
But I wantedtostartwithjustgivingyouanideaoftheprofoundimpactthispersonhashadinmylifefromthemoment I pickeduponeofhisbooks.
See, I'vealwaysbeensomeonethatwhen I'm inUptonACNorganization, I wanttobeabletoseewaitersatwaysthat I cancontributethemostpossible.
I lookforthewhitespaces, andwhathappenedis I pickedup a bookfromthisgentleman, J.
Abrahamgettingeverythingyoucanoutofallyou'vegot.
Andwhen I pickedthisup, I realizedthattherewassomanywaysthatyoucanlookwithinanindustryorwithinotherindustriestogetsomeamazingideasthatcanhelpyougrow a businessinwaysyouneverthoughtpossible.
Ifyou'rethepersonthatownsthebusiness, ifyou'releading a teamoryou'reanemployeewithinthebusiness, you'regonnalearnthetoolsthatittakestobethepersonthatinnovateswithinthecompany.
Andyourpiecesoncriticalthinking I thinkarethemostvaluablebecauseyouthinksodifferently, andyouseethingsthatmostpeopledon't.
And I'd becurioustoknow.
Howdidyoubecomethatpersonthatthinkssolaterally?
It's a greatquestion, andtheansweris, it's It's almostlaughablebecauseitwasn't intentionalwasaccidentwhattheaccidentaltourist, theaccidentalcriticalthinkeris?
I startedoutatage 18 gotmarried, hadtwokids, nonoskillsetwhatsoever, theneedofsomebodyabout 40 andnobodycared.
Andtheonlypeoplethatevergavemeopportunitywithcrazedentrepreneurswhowouldstickmein a roomandsay, Kid, youcanhave a pieceofwhateveryoucreateAnd I wasveryinterestedinlotsofdifferentindustries.
Andbecause I wasn't salary, I jumpedaroundand I wentfromonenotjobbutoneindustrytoanother, toanother, toanother.
Andafter a numberofthese, I lookedbackandthought, Wow, it's interestingthatpeopleinoneindustrydon't have a cluehowpeopleinotherindustries, I thinkstrategybusinessmodelsoptionality, uh, justanyvaluecreation.
We'vedone 7000 subindustrieswhenyouhavetheabilitytolookatthosesaidthatspectrumofnuancesandallkindsofdifferentwaysofthinkingdoingandyouworknotjustgivingthem a seminar, butyouactuallyareworkingonthefrontlines, dealingwiththeproblems, dealingwiththeissues, dealingwiththechallenges, dealingwiththeopportunitiesyouget, a knowledgebaseofpossibilitiesofoptions, ofscenarios, ofsituationsandofconsequencesthatairsovastthatmostpeople, becauseoftheirlimitedsphereofexperiences, oflife, ofprobabilityoutcometheydon't reallyknow.
So I'vejustbeenthrustintothevortexofsomanyreallifeissuesthat I hadtosolveembrace, uhuhmanage, transcend, circumventthatitgavemeafterwell, a dayuniversal, sortofanunderstandingofnotjustwhatcanhappengoodandhowyoucouldmakeit a lotbetter.
Well, I thinkthatthatthebiggestproblemthat I seethatisnotreallyaddressverywellisthatowners, managers, entrepreneurs, professionalsdon't recognizethatalloftheirteammembershavethesamekindofrelativehopesanddreams.
And I think a lotoftimesthere's a big, biggapbetweenMia's theownerthinkingaboutmylife, mygrowth, mysuccess, mynetworth, myprominenceandnotreallyrecognizingthat I havetobeexternallyfocused.
Well, thefirstthingthat I alwaystellpeople, and I don't reallyteachcriticalthinkingfor, say, I'vedonesomeworkonit, soyou'redrawingoutofme, CemroarshockFirsttimeeverresponses.
Sohopefullyit'llbereasonablylucidandconcrete.
Butthefirstthing I tellpeoplewhen I talkaboutthissortofadhocisyoucan't be a greatcriticalthinkerorconsequentialthinkerorreciprocalthinkeruntilyoustartthinkingoutsideyourself.
Youtalkaboutactivity, a decisiononevent I meananyof a numberofthings, andthenyougottosay, whatisthepositive, theabsolutemaximumpositivethat I can I canminethat I canextractthatAikenleveroutofit.
Sowhenanybodyinanycapacityismaking a phonecalldesignedtoeffect a resultthatbenefitstheiragenda, I don't careifyourbusinessyoursalespersontryingtoget a meeting, tryingtogetanyenemynumberofofoutcomestobelievethatthelogicalresultisgonnabetoget a livepersononthephonewhenyoucallisludicrous.
About a 3% probabilityyou'regonnaget a voicemail.
Maybeyou'llgetthegatekeeper, butprobably a voicemail, don't youthinkso, Ifyou'reshockedwhenyouget a voicemailandthat's probabilitynotnot, not a anaberration, andyouhaven't preparedforvoicemail.
That's notcriticalthinkingwhatyougoaboutthisisJay, and I'm comingbackandtheoddsofgettingcalledbackunlessyou'revery, veryimportantoraboutzero.
Butifyousay I'm callingtoremindyouthat, uh, we'vegot a waytotripleyouryoursalesandreduceyourexpenses 20% andwecandoittomorrowwithnoinvestment.
But I needyourapprovalorsomethingthatatleastisdesignedtoevoke a response.
Butthisis a badexample.
Butmaybe, youknow, everyonecallsandgoesthereshockedwhentheyget a voicemail.
I laughed.
My, my, myyouknowwhatoff?
I thinkit's hilariouslyillogical.
You'regoingtoget a voicemail.
Yeah, planforit.
Sothat's that's interestingbecause, inessence, whatcomestomindwhenyousaythisisThere's a lotofschoolofthoughtthatsays, youknow, positivethinkingonly, anditseemslikeit's actually a compromiseofcriticalthinkingbecause I thinkcriticalispositive.
WhatdoyoupositiveIndoismostprobabletoehappen?
Whatdoyoupositively?
Nocouldalsohappen.
Whatdoyoupositively?
No, uh, isthedifferencebetweenbeingreactiveandproactive?
Explaintheideaofselling a masterful, qualitative, ethical, authenticsalesmatter.
So I justwanted I'vegottenvery, veryfanaticalabouttryingtounderstandwhattherealityofthesituationis, whattheprobable, Notjustoutcome, butwhat's reallyhappeningherewitheverybodyinvolved.
Youknow, when I dosomething, when I when I counselsomebodyaccounts a lotofpeoplebecause I'vebeenthroughsomanyscenarios, I cansay, Okay, you'renegotiatingThisfirstthingyouhavetoknowisthisIfyoubringsomebodyandyoubettermakesurethatyou, uhyoumakesurethatallthetransactionsareyours, nottheirs, yougottomakesurethat, youknow, and I thinkabouteverythingthatcangowrongwiththispicture, notjustwhatgoesright.
SoyouhavetothinkOkay, if j goesrogueonme, howcan I bringhimback?
Whatam I goingtodo?
Howam I goingtomakesurethat I advocateanddrawoutofhimthebestoutcome I can?
Hopefullyhe's loose.
Ifhe's not, whatdo I whatcan I softballlobhim?
Doesthatmakesense?
Absolutely.
Justgiving a fewresponse.
I loveitbecauseactually, I wasjustthinkingintheprocessoflike, I'm listeningand I triedalwaysstructurebecauseduringourinterviewswealwayshave a structurewhichisbasedonwhatwecallconsciousnessengineer.
I wanttopositionthisbecausewhatwe'vetalkedabouthereisthat a lotofpeoplealwaysdothingsthewaythey'redone, andthey'llcontinuedoingtheirworkwithout, necessarily.
Yes, andwhatwewantintroduceyears a newmodelofreality, whichisthiscriticalthinkingelement.
And I wanteverybodytopayattentionherebecause a lotofwhatwe'vejusttalkedaboutyouheard J mentionisthefactthatwhenyoustartthinkingcritically, it's notonlyabouthavingtherosecoloredgoggles, it's aboutthinkingofeverysingleoutcome, andyoustartchallengingthestatusquowithinyourorganization.
And I lovewhatyoumentionedwiththefactthatsomeorganizationsstillthinkthatthewayit's alwaysbeendoneisthewaytheycontinuedoingitandnothavingthesamesuccessbecausethemarket's changed.
What I'd lovetobringyoutoisthelastpartofourframer, whichweusuallycallsystemsforlivingOkay, whichisokay, I know.
Embracedcriticalthinking.
Yes.
Howdo I, asanindividualwithinanorganization, recognizeif I'm inthispatternofnotcriticalthinking?
Sowhat I firstwantidentifiestalkaboutrelevancy, and I kindofwanttogobacktothisbecauseyoutouchedonit.
And I thinkwhat I failedtorecognizeisasthingsarebeingdonemostlybasedonhowotherpeoplearerelevant, andthefirstthing I thinkaboutthisforthatcouldbeveryeasyforpeopletograspiskindofthewholeinstagrammovement, howpeoplearejudgingpeople's relevancybasedonthenumberoffollowers.
Theyandassoonassomeonegets a certainamountoffollower, everybodyisattractedtothem.
Theyshowpicturesoftheminweirdsituations, andthat's theirThat's theirTheiridentityis I thinkthere's not a sexuallybut a a uh, there's a perversionvalues, but I thinkifyoubringitdowntoitsverycore, wejustwannaallbeacknowledgedasbeingrelevant.
Andtoday I thinksocialmediagivesanybody a vehiclethatcouldbegood, oritcouldbebad.
Andwhenyoubecomeobsessedwithbeingacknowledged, I mean, I thinkforme, I wasjustsaying I wenttoaneventtheothernight.
Wassomebodyveryprominentwhenhementionedhisnameandyouandtheyalltakepicturesand I get a picture.
Thisperson's a 1,000,000,000 and I wouldneverputthatonmysocialmean, you'rejusttoosomewhat.
I do.
I'm a veryprivateperson, butitdependsonwhereyouare.
Noonecomestothefuneral, and I thinkeverybodywantstobe.
It's alwaysbeenthatway, but I thinktodaywithsocialmedia, peoplehavethechance, andtheyhaveaninfinitenumberofwaystobeacknowledged, someveryhealthy, somenotandthenyoucouldcomeveryobsessive, I think, beforeitwasrepressed.
Nowit's it's released.
Buthowit's beenmanifestis a littlescary, ifthatmakessense, andthewaythat I interpretthatisthefactthat, youknow, westartedwiththewholecriticalthinking.
Andwhen I talkaboutthiswhole, youknow, relevancy.
Nowthateverybodyalmosthasitsownplatformtomake a lotofnoise.
Andso a bigprocesstoacknowledgehereisthatasopposedtobeingswarmedoroverwhelmedbythisnoisethat's happeningallaroundyou.
Tobeabletocriticallythinkyouneedtotake a stepbackandreallybein a positionwhereyoustartlisteningandwhenyoudothat, you'reabletoactuallyextract a lotmoreinformation.
You'reabletoseethingsfromdifferentperspectiveandnotjustbefollowingtheherdsthatarejustconstantlymakingthewaystoprofoundon a very, verypowerfulrealizationbuildingonit.
Andifyou'llallowme, ifyouwant, I won't doitButifyouallowme, I willgiveyou a lifelessonthat I learnedinthendandthewonderful, wonderfuloutcome.
Butyouhavetorealizethatinlife, inmyopinion, and I'veobservedanawfullotofbeing a criticalthinker, I'm beinganempiricalthinkeronbeinghistoricthinkers, onbeingsomebodywho's lookedat a lotoflotofelementsoflife.
That a lovelyyoucan't believewhat I wasgoingtosayissomething.
Ifyouallowme, I needtopreemptthat.
We'retalkingaboutrelevancy, but I believe I had a veryprofoundsomethinghappenedtomeinmylife.
Itusuallytouchespeople, and I shareitverysincerely.
I startedwhen I was 18 gotmarried, hadkidsveryyoung.
I toldyouthat.
So I'm nowmyshoulder.
I'vehadthreemidlifecrises.
Whenit 41 51 in 60.
I'm olderthan 60 now.
The 1st 2 I'd goto a therapistand I triedtotalkthroughtryingtounderstandwhatthehellhappened.
Couldmake a lotofmoney.
Didn't makemehappy.
I, uh, achievethings.
I wantedtomakemehappy.
A businesspartnerthat I hadn't reallyrecognizedwas a sociopathwoulddevastateme.
And I feelviolatedwhen I hadeverychanceofrecognizingand I justabdicated.
Talkaboutcriticalthinking.
It's allyougreat.
I'm gonnajustbasicallytrustyouimplicitlyand I couldprotectmyself.
Andeverytime I getintosomethingrightontheprecipiceof a breakthroughthatthere's thiswouldsay 55 minutesareup, willcompleteitnextweek.
So I'm maintainingtheirdrivingoutmeaningofmylifeandhavingtowait.
Sothelasttime I wentthroughwhen I boughtthetherapistforanentireweekforfivefulldays, eighthoursandmydealwas I'llcomewhen I havetime.
Andifnot, I willsendgrace.
Peoplewouldnevergo.
Therewasreallyfunbecause a lotofpeoplemylifewhoneededitbutwouldneverseekitontheirownbecauseitwaspaidfor.
Theygo.
Butwhen I went, I made a profoundlifeshiftinrealization, anditchangedthisconceptofcriticalthinking, everythingthatflowedfromit.
I wasexplainingtothisthistherapist, allthethefrustrationsandanddisappointmentsandalltheissuesthatdidn't didn't producetheoutcomesandthefeelings I wanted.
Andhemade a veryprofoundandvery, veryamazinginside, hesaid, Thevastmajorityofpeopleinlife, ourendproductOrtheythinkiftheymake a $1,000,000 iftheygetthefastestgrowingcompany, iftheyhavethemostmusclebymostbrilliant, beautifulwife, thebiggesthouse, themosttoys, that's goingtoreallybethedefinitivechangeinthethe, uhthetransformativeeventintheirlife.
Thenyou'regonnahave a joyouslifebyappreciatingandcelebratingeveryinteraction.
Andthenhesaidsomethingelse.
There's nobodyaround.
There's noonewho's unimportantnow.
I tookthatandittransformedmylife.
I do a lotofstuffinMalayaandthatMalaysiaandageandyou'rethereandwehave a protocolandit's changedmylife.
Wegothereand I getUhandyourmembersareprobablygoingtocastigatebecause I liketodrinkand I drink a lotofgreatwineongreatairplanesbecause I gettogofirstclass.
Sothefirstday I gettoAsia, I'm let's saynotof 100% ofmyintellectualcapacity, so I hydrateandsleep.
Thenextday I godowntothelobbyand I sitandsmileateverybodytosmilebackandinAsia.
That's a greataccomplishmentthat I gotintheelevatorand I faceinward, notoutward, andsmiledtopeoplegoingbaddayfighting.
Then I getofftheelevatoreveryeveryfloorandtalkedtoallthetheserversaboutreallymeaningfulthings, andyoucanseetheirbodylanguagechangedbecausethey'reacknowledged.
Andwhenyoustartrealizingoneofthethings I'm coming 3 60 or 1 80 whateveritisbacktocriticalthinking, itstemsandflowsfromacknowledgingtherelevancyofeveryhumanbeingthatyouinteractwithinyourlife.
Abovebebelittleyou.
Everyone's gotvalue.
Everyonehashasimportance.
Everyoneneedstofeelthatyouappreciatethem.
Andwhenyoudothat, everythingmultipliesinintermsofthesuccessofyourlife, thefulfillmentof a life.
Andnow I amgetting a littlebitwildlyrogue.
Buthopefullythathasvalue.
Actually, it's it's fascinatingbecause I actuallysee a tieandperfectlybecausewetalkedaboutoneofthefirstthingstodo.
Tobebetteratcriticalthinkingistolookatpeoplewithindifferentpositionswithinyourcompany, alsoindifferentindustries, andthebookthat I referencedbeginningyourbookaboutyouknow, 21 strategiestoreallygrow a businessandtomake a biggerimpact.
Andagain, it's a questionoflistening, seeingthatthereisrelevanceinabsolutelyeverysingleperson.
Andeveryconversationyouhaveisgoingtobesomethingthatallowsyoutohave a bigger, betterdepthinthewaythatyouthink.
Andso I thinkit's phenomenal.
It's well, I'vebeenblessedinmylife, andwhen I wasyoung, I wasnotthreateningand I wasfascinated.
So a lotofvery, verymuchbrighterandandworldlypeopletookmeundertheirwingsandtheydoledout a lotofbrilliantinsight, knowledge, wisdomand I ateitupand I justhad a thirstsport.
Oneofthethingsthat I learnedearlyandit's it's denominated.
I think a lotofmysuccessand I triedurgeeveryonetorecognizethis.
I usedtodovery, verylargesimmers, andonce I hadthetrustand I hadthe, uh, theappreciationoftheaudiencedoing I wasgonnawidelyunknownarepredictablethings.
Abouthalfwaythroughtheseconddayof a threeday, I wouldcomeinpurposelylate, and I wouldsaythisandit's notmeanttobe, uh, discriminatory.
Itwasjustmeanttobeexperimental.
I wouldsay I'm sosorry I'm late.
But I justsawthemoststunningandmagnificentwoman I think I'veeverseeninmylife.
And I wascaptivated.
I wouldsaynothingelse, and I goonfortwohours.
Then I'd comebacktorememberwhat I said.
That I wanttoknowwhatcametomindandhadrandomlyinterviewandsolicittheimpressionof 20 or 30 menandwomen.
Tosome, itwasCrashLeeanatomicallydenominator.
Tosome, itwas, uhitwasitwasmorehairorethnicitytosummitwasstyleanddressedto a lotofwomen.
Actually, I finditjustwhenyouspeakofthis, itmakesmerealize, like, wow, there's somuchthatmostpeopledon't knowtheydon't know, and I thinkthat's probablytheproblemaroundcriticalthinking.
Well, I triedtogetpeople I'm sayingyes, andheacknowledges.
Soyouknowthat I heardwhatyou'resaying.
I'm gonnabuildonit, andthat's important.
Thatacknowledges, I believeit's veryimportantforpeopletoforcethemselvestoconstantlyevolve.
I learnedit's hilariouswhenwegotodo a seminaroverseas, I makeit a pointthatmostpeopleinanindustrydefaulttoeonewayofgeneratingbusiness, and I makeit a point.
I amprobablyoneofthemostinterestingpeopleyou'llevermeet.
I couldbeonanairplaneinfirstclassandsomebodywhodoesn't wanttoevendealwithme.
Bythetimewe'redoneontheflight, I havetorespectfullyaskthemtostoptalkingso I cangobacktomyworkbecause I canengagethemandaskedsomanyinterestingquestionsthatnoone's everaskedthemaboutthem.
Notaboutme.
I got a greatstorythat I couldtellyouifyouwanttohearit, please.