Just look at the all-star defense team

President Trump put together, all right?

This is an insane team that Trump collected.

It's got Ken Starr, the lawyer who is famous

for doing the investigation

that led to Bill Clinton's impeachment.

And it's got Alan Dershowitz,

who's famous for defending O.J. Simpson.

So these lawyers are perfect for Trump

because they have experience with super-guilty people

and super-horny presidents.

-It's great. It's in combination. -(laughter)

But I will say this.

Trump's lawyers may want

to polish up their defense strategy,

because things have already gotten off to a rocky start.

WOMAN: The president's legal team offering

the first glimpse of their defense--

that the president did nothing wrong, did not commit a crime,

and that even the Democrats' argument of abuse of power

does not rise to an impeachable offense.

Something one of his lawyers,

Alan Dershowitz, maintained over the weekend.

The articles of impeachment are two non-criminal actions.

WOMAN: But many constitutional scholars disagree.

Trump's lawyer, Alan Dershowitz himself, once argued

the opposite during the Clinton impeachment.

It certainly doesn't have to be a crime

if you have somebody

who completely corrupts the office of president.

Yes, it turns out that over the past 20 years,

Alan Dershowitz's legal opinions have changed

as much as his hairstyles.

Because, you see, right now he's saying,

abuse of power is not an impeachable offense,

but back in the '90s, he says it was.

And, look, I mean, we all did something we regret in the '90s.

I mean, I walked around

in that Missy Elliott outfit for a whole year.

Yeah. Every time I left the house,

the garbage men tried to throw me in the truck.

But according to Dershowitz, according to Dershowitz--

this is really interesting-- what he said in the '90s was,

in fact, correct, and what he's saying now

is also, in fact, correct.

Previously, you said, it doesn't have to be a crime

if the guy... if-if the person in office

completely corrupts the office of president.

Now you're saying "criminal-like."

So you're not... So corrupting the office of the president--

is that in your criminal light or criminal-like, uh, behavior?

-No. No, it's not. -So it's not? So, so...

And that was rejected... That was rejected by the framers.

-So you were wrong back...? -Look, I have... I...

You're saying you were wrong back then?

I was saying that I'm much more correct right now,

having done all the research.

-Much more more correct? -'Cause that's the...

I didn't do the research back then

-because that wasn't the issue. -Okay. So you were wrong.

-Okay. -I did the research now.

I wasn't wrong.

I am just far more correct now than I was then.

-(laughter) -Wait. What?!

I wasn't wrong?

I am just far more correct now than I was then?

That is one of the most original lines

I have ever heard in my life.

And that's a great line for a lawyer.

But thank God this guy doesn't work on a bomb squad

'cause that would be a disaster.

He would just be like, "Cut the yellow wire.

Wait. Cut the red one."

"I already cut the yellow one!"

"Yeah, well, I wasn't wrong about yellow,

"but the red one is more correct.

"Don't worry. We're not gonna die.

We're just gonna be less alive."

(laughter)

So, that's where Trump's "I love the '90s" legal team is at.

And we'll see them make their arguments later this week,

but today, today, the Senate was all about

establishing the ground rules of this impeachment trial,

and it sounds like it's gonna be a pretty tight ship.

It is an historic day in Washington

where the U.S. will meet in just a few hours

to start the impeachment trial

of the president of the United States.

WOMAN: For the senators today, it's gonna feel like

a really long day at school.

You know those cubbies that many of your kids have?

The senators are gonna have to put their phones and electronics

in those special boxes just off the Senate floor

because they're not allowed to have them there.

They're not allowed to speak

to the senators that are next to them

or read anything that's not related to the trial.

All of that on pain of imprisonment.

Technically, a senator could get arrested if they got up

to take a bathroom break that wasn't approved.

Damn.

No talking, no phones,

no unapproved bathroom breaks, or you could go to jail.

These poor senators.

This doesn't sound like a trial. It sounds like detention.

Yeah. Remember in school,

when you were just locked up, just sitting there?

I just imagined them sitting inside the Senate chamber now,

looking out the window, as Nancy Pelosi

and the others house reps play kickball outside.

Nancy's just like, "Wow. We're having so much fun.

"I can't wait to go to the bathroom

without getting arrested!"

(laughter)

Now, now, most of those rules are standard.

Those are standard rules for impeachment trials.

And they're designed to make sure

that the senators are paying attention

and that they're focused.

But Mitch McConnell has introduced some other rules

for this trial, and they're clearly designed

to get this thing over with as fast as possible.

WOMAN: If Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has his way,

the vote to convict or acquit President Trump

will come sooner rather than later.

McConnell presenting his proposed trial rules

that break from the Clinton model.

Mitch McConnell releasing his long-awaited blueprint.

Each side will have 24 hours over just two days

to make their opening statements.

It means senators could have to sit for 12-hour sessions,

part of the Republican push for a faster trial.

But Democrats say Republicans

are trying to hide the president's misconduct

in the dead of night.

He could force presentations to take place

at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.

The McConnell resolution will result in a rushed trial

with little evidence in the dark of night.

Literally-- the dark of night.

(laughter)

The way he said that: "The dark of night.

Literally-- the dark of night."

But that is no joke-- 12-hour sessions

that last until the early morning.

That's cruel for anyone, especially cruel for this group.

I mean, these people are usually in bed by Wheel of Fortune.

No one's up here until 2:00 a.m.

And, you know, for a guy who shares so much DNA with turtles,

McConnell sure wants to move fast.

You know what I feel like? I feel like McConnell would be

the worst person to go on a date with.

You know? 'Cause he seems like one of those people

who would order the appetizer, the main course and the dessert

all at the same time, you know, just to rush things along.

He'd just be like, "Yeah, bring us the soup, the steak,

"the hot fudge sundae and the check.

"We're getting the check, This is all formality.

"We're just gonna smash. Meh.

"Yeah, just pour the soup on your steak. Meh.

Yeah, let's keep things moving. Meh."

(laughter)

Now, after some pushback from Susan Collins

and other moderate Republicans,

McConnell has now changed the rules at the last minute today,

so that each side would have three days instead of two days

to present their case.

And a lot of people are saying Mitch McConnell was wrong

to even try and rush this process in the first place.

But what people don't understand is,

Mitch wasn't wrong before,

-he's just more correct now. -(laughter)