RELATIONSHIP Q&A | Jealousy, Staying Passionate, Arguing - VoiceTube: Learn English through videos!

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okay you guys we're doing it at 8:00 a.m. are shooting our marriage Q&A we
posted an Instagram post and we asked you guys if you have any questions we
didn't choose the question just it so we will see you you haven't read them yet
right I haven't read them yet so it's like real real time are you ready
here are the Quebec Sookie first question how to not get bored of the
relationship after a long time together remember when we first met and we had
like all this like exciting stuff and we were travelling everywhere in doing
stuff and Gary always told me every week just everyday yeah he's gonna be
Wednesday's Wednesday's will eventually yeah he always Toby's like now it's all
exciting and stuff that I wanted to know that there's gonna be those just like
regular simple boring days and I actually like those days the question is
basically how do I do not get bored how do you not get for it I think it's not a
question of being bored with a relationship I think it's a matter of
working on on yourself the fact that you're as busy as you are and I'm as
busy as I am rather than our relationship being kind of an everyday
boring thing it's what I go back to it's my own base it never gets boring because
we have each other I feel like boredom is a luxury I'm just like every minute
is is accounted for every minute is you know we're doing something that's my
exciting time because I get to reconnect with you so before the other person is
not there to entertain you I mean it's kind of your job to fulfill your life to
fill it up with things that you love career or hobbies or anything like that
when you have your own thing going on it's like when you spend that one-on-one
with your partner you cherish it more because you don't you're not together
all the time and garen I mean we work together so we we're together a lot but
we are not like together together you and I are both very passionate about our
you know all of our projects yeah but what I love about our relationship is
that we have this in common we have these things that we love so
much obviously the kids too we talk about the kids we talk about work so it
doesn't get boring because you're my you're my partner in life so we just we
do it all together have you ever been on the verge of thinking wow I just can't
do it anymore and if so how do you overcome it you know what I never
thought I can't do this relationship when there been overwhelming times with
the children it's more like I'm like wow I'm responsible along with you to raise
these two guys and now these three guys so that sometimes gets overwhelming when
I start projecting into the future that mark stresses me out
yes the day I met you I never looked back and thought all this wasn't like I
can't do this from a relationship perspective but this isn't the person
for me the moment I met you I was sure about you and I would never had any
doubt that you're the one for me for me I think because it was much
younger getting into like such a serious relationship I don't think I've ever
doubted that I want to be with Gary I've had times one kind of exactly the same
where I would wake up and I'm just like oh my god what is going on and this is
like so much it's too much I think it's normal and I don't even think that it's
kind of based on an age I definitely had panic attacks probably that are a little
more dramatic from you know because of my age because I'm just saying cuz all
my friends are doing other stuff right and I'm like 23 year old with a newborn
we didn't win Jake was just a baby he must have been
like maybe seven or eight months and we were out
somewhere and we had just heard of people that we knew who had split up
yeah and I remember you looked at me and you said oh my god like there's no
scenario in my mind or you and I are not together even though you may have had
those kind of moments where you had these these panic attacks when you heard
of an example of somebody who split up you right away said to me like I can't
even imagine that scenario I never felt that I was in the wrong place I never
like woke up and I was like this is not where I'm meant to be
I don't feel insecure in our relationship you you always make me feel
like everything is cool from the day that we've met you never once gave me a
reason to think like a weird like you never whenever your phone rang goes your
mom like it was it was never it was never anything you did to lead me to
believe that I can't trust you or that I'm not your biggest priority and I
think that for my past experiences and just talking to my friends a lot of
girls and I don't know why they do this thing where they feel that they have to
kind of keep a guy on their toes and they have to make him feel that he's got
competition you made me understand that there's no competition like you you got
me you're mine how did you know that you were going to
be spending the rest of your life together
when was the moment you understood you were going to last forever I had no I
had no doubts which was amazing because I was 38 or 39 and like you know I've
had girlfriends before but there was never any one moment before I met you
that I met somebody missed it all wow this is the one it was just it was you
it was always you and met you that's it not even one yeah it wasn't it was it
was like a young man's stupid whatever and I think a lot of guys make that
mistake they think it's real and then it turns out not to be real what element
did they can it makes them think it's real when it's
not people for the most part like especially guys when they're young they
don't understand I think yet what's important in life a lot of what drives
in this ego so when they need a woman who looks a certain way or comes from a
certain family or has a certain background or looks good on paper they
jump on it and they're just not doing it for the right reasons I already had
enough experience on in my life at that time and the good thing is is that I had
a better understanding of who I was yeah I think that's so I think that's
what's important the experiences that I've had since we got married in terms
of you know family professional integrating into your family with your
mom and your brothers and everything that's made me even more still realize
Who I am so it's it's it's really brought me a lot of I think wisdom in
peace you are very wise now well it's busy
what do you do when you are upset with your spouse as actually funny because I
was upset with you yesterday yeah you were and we talked about it in the car
yeah you talk about it you keep your voice low yeah you don't get excited
about it because if you remember the conversation we had yesterday it would
have been easy for it to accelerate into something that it doesn't need to be
yeah but we kept calm you acknowledged my position when you disagreed with me
you told me we talked it out and we settled on it I think that it depends
also on the couple I think you need to figure out what's your best way of
communicating maybe it's you know for you you need to take some time away from
the situation to really like you know compose yourself and not make it a
bigger deal than it is and then talk about it some people prefer to talk
about it right away because if they sit on it it's just gonna harbor to become
something bigger so I think it's really about figuring out what works for you I
think for you and I it's like we just discuss it at the end of the day or you
know just like later when we have time when it's quiet but it's not going on I
think it goes back also to the dynamic between two people I feel very much that
in our relationship and all the aspects of our relationship we're very much
equal how do you spend time each other while being busy with work
and with the kids this is a great example I think that we feel like so
much is going on right now and we have a newborn and you know we just kind of
felt like we need to get away you know overnight so we do those things
I think that we're very much trying to be in tune of when we need a break from
life for max was born Gary and I were traveling regularly like whenever we got
to a point we're like okay we just need you know we need time you and I just to
reconnect we'll make an effort to even take a hotel room just like do anything
that's just him and Ike how about jealousy do you ever get jealous with
Gary's female friends uh I didn't really interested the girls in the beginning
there was this there was one person where I just saying I just don't get it
yeah and now you feel silly for thinking that yeah but that's like just every you
know young girl who is a little bit insecure
it was completely silly but again he never made me feel that I need to be
jealous I never had a reason to not trust him he always makes me feel like
there's no other woman in the world with me I'm not a very jealous person we
should be more jealous to be honest with you you feel more wanted like I like it
when you get attention from women like remember when we were and in the cloud
and there's this one girl that came up it's a family channel so we can't say
what you did to me but back at me how no but what happens now is they can find
out and they'll be a little be a woman kind of looking at me and I'm feeling
kind of weird about it and then she'll approach me I should be
like hi and I'll be like hi you Blair's husband right that's me and that's why I
have a youtube channel yeah what makes Gary different from your previous
boyfriend's here definitely it's here but I think would Gary I felt something
that I've never felt before with any of you know my boyfriend's and I had like I
had AI dated good guys like they were all great but there were other jerks
there were boys it was different I never like this is the person from me and I
feel like with Gary just when I met him I don't know I just felt like this is my
person I can't explain it if you are in a relationship or you're married you
know that feeling you just feel like you know I think the biggest difference is
that I was very aggressive aggressive meaning a week after we met I told you
you were gonna be my wife yeah yeah exactly like a little crazy I thought it
also said something about you as a person you're just like a man
just came like mm valaria I want you to name one thing that bothers you and one
thing that you love about Gary and Gary you name one thing that bothers you
before Larry and one thing that you love about her
you go first no okay so the one thing that I love about you is everything good
I'm like real real I think you're you're distant
a lot you get into all the other stuff that's going on in your life but I
understand it because you you're dealing with a lot of stuff I would want more of
you I feel like that's my coping mechanism yeah you disconnect and I feel
like my mom says the same thing it manifests itself as different things
like when we talk and you're on your phone you know it just burns me up like
when you're on your phone we're talking and you're saying don't worry I'm
listening yeah I definitely have that quality I recognize it in myself as well
I feel like when there's so many things going on the way I preserve energy and
my sanity is that I go you know into my own little world one thing that bothers
me about you it's weird because it's like I have this hate of relationship
with it it's like you're always in business mode when we just have our
moments I know that you always think about business I kind of love it
sometimes but sometimes I just want to like shake you with me I just love it
does doesn't it I know I know you're I just I just love it so much but have
other thing that you like about me you missed that part
see you skipped over that completely but it's it's hard because what do you mean
I love so many things about you it's a weird question yeah were you ever
in love before it's love supposed to be difficult I was probably in love before
but it was a different kind of love it wasn't like what I think love
now and is it supposed to be difficult no it really shouldn't be cheating good
it's not what it's right it's different for everybody but it's also different
stages in life you know what I mean when I was younger like love was like no like
emo you know what I mean like sitting and listening to set songs and crying it
was like that's kind of love it was like this kid type of love know like what we
have lady you know trying to build an empire kind of life yeah this is a
different kind this is grown-up love this is a j9 Will Smith love ya aren't
you gonna ask me if I was ever in love before I hope you are you hope I was
yeah were you ever in love before after meeting you I realized I wasn't but at
the time I probably thought I was yeah I think but in reality I wasn't but it was
maybe like a different kind of love no was there ever a time when you were
younger that you ever felt like you'll never find the one if so how did you
overcome that fear you're young you'll be fine and there are times when you
know you break up you feel like there's not another person out there that you're
probably experienced that you you know when you break up you think there's not
another person out there that's as good of them of a match for you as the person
that you just lost it's nonsense believe me time goes by
you meet somebody else it's very simple guys Gary have any issues about your
modeling slash YouTube career he really really loves it and I love the fact
actually I was in a relationship before where I felt like with my modeling
career I it's like I had to fight for it which was completely ridiculous because
I was I was providing for myself and that was you know my career and I feel
like I had to explain myself every time I would travel or things like that so I
knew that that's I will never that happen again and when I met Gary he
completely supports and I feel like he supports everything that I want to do
he's just like you want to go go get it girl you know so I think that's one of
the things that I love about him there was never any issues whatsoever with any
yeah but listen you also have to know that I support everything because I see
this isn't this isn't a game to you right yeah
if you were doing stuff half-assed yeah I don't know how supportive of you yeah
the way that you do is very serious about it so this whole YouTube thing
you're very serious about it so why would I have a issue with it yeah I
think maybe that question is more on the modeling aspect even though you tubing
Aspen I think it's a question of like maybe how comfortable let's say I would
feel from a privacy perspective about you talking about certain things or
wearing certain like maybe you're wearing a bikini and I don't like it
look at the end of the day I trust you and I see that everything you do is in
good taste I want to know what have been your worst cup of struggle that you've
gone through I think the worst couple struggle from my perspective is when we
had the kids I think I let you down when I wasn't all like changing diapers
burping bottles and I had to discover for myself that I'm not that guy yeah
not that I love the children less than you yeah but I just I can't make myself
be somebody I'm not so I think that that was our biggest struggle because I feel
like you were let down because you thought I'd be there more whereas for me
me being there meant I was out doing more stuff for business trying to
develop us more because as a man maybe I'm more of the hunter oh um I agree
with that I think that we both had to learn who we are as parents because
that's the thing it's like you need to discover how you you know you're a
couple at first and your dynamics together but then when you have kids it
like throws everything off and you have to rediscover yourself as people as
individuals but also together as parents so yeah that was definitely something
that I was I had different idea of how it's gonna go but I think that we
figured it out I think we're still figuring it out well oh it was always
gonna be yeah any masses what I think but I think you know I feel like you got
better and see but the interesting thing is is that when I think about what
motivated me to do it it's not it wasn't me trying to make you happier which yeah
99% of what I do is to try to make you happier yeah but in this case I did it
because it is just my own natural evolution that I and I did do i do do
more stuff with the kids I'm more patient with them yeah yeah it is so
hard to build I don't have the patience that you do so especially with Jake when
he was you know he's our first and he was little and he was doing crazy stuff
it was it was very different it was very difficult for me but I'm happy didn't do
it for me because I feel like what sometimes when you do things for your
partner you're you starting to resent them a bit it's it's definitely deep
down inside you don't think about it but then you know when you explode all that
thank you all of these things come out so I think it's very important to take
the time and to really do it in your own pace rather than just try to do things
to please your partner so that's that's one thing yeah was the question again
why was the hardest struggle like the worst couple struggle waiting well I
think the other one is from a business perspective because I'm a big believer
if you're gonna do a business you have to be like really really aggressive
about it and I think that I may have been insensitive at times where with
your core you know with your career there were times when it was more
difficult for you and I feel like I was pushing you to the point where you kind
of started to even like break down a little because I really want you to
succeed and I want your business to succeed so I think I've learned how to
also now like pull back and kind of give you yours you know your space and time
to get to where you need to go I think that's part of what keeps me going in a
way you it's like an athlete and a coach it's
like you need to you need that portion I think that's what makes us such a good
team I don't feel I feel like when I am at a point where it's like enough is
enough I let you know and you understand that it's time to back off
but I think that we all need that person you know sometimes we can't be our own
coach and we need that person especially good someone that's so close to you to
be like you can do it push push push so I love that I'm grateful for it even
if it times but you're also you're also my wife and the mother of my kids so
it's that it's finding that fine light or I'm pushing you but I also want to
make sure that you're okay so for me it's you know I have to find that panel
so I think that's something else that if I have to think it would put a strain on
our relationship I don't think it was that as well
people grow over time how do you make sure you both grow in the same direction
together and not apart we don't need to try we just have like you know no that's
not true you say it because we figured it out for ourselves but we are making
sure that we are in tune with each other yeah
and I think that happens so often when people are just growing in different
directions we definitely over communicate which i think is good but
there is it's interesting because a couple of days ago you and I started
talking about our long-term business goals
you said something do you know what I want the in reference to your lawn like
our long-term goals and then when you said that I stopped I said I said I
thought to myself you know what I actually never asked you what you want
coz I just assumed you want what I want you want to build an empire you want to
build legacy you want to have financial success because that those are the
things that I want and I never stopped to like ask you because they just
assumed it was the same and then you told me what you want and it happened to
be the same but for me the revelation was that I never actually formally asked
you what do you want but that's the thing I think that we always it's so
easy for us to assume that we are on the same track and then that's why I feel
like sometimes when people get divorced or separated one of those like you know
one of the spouses when that happens for them it's like a shock like how did it
happen and I think that's the problem some you know some of us are just we
assume that we're both growing in the same direction so I think that it's very
important to always kind of check in with your partner you know seeing what
their what they're going through what do they want where they going where they
act I think that's that's extremely
important are you guys more introverted as a couple socially or do you love
going out with friends and stuff I am definitely the introvert one oh my god I
just don't I don't really care to see people it's so weird that's why I feel
like social media is perfect for me because I actually get to communicate
and have this huge group of friends but I know I still do it in the comfort of
my own little I became I think your public persona is a little is a little
inaccurate as to who you are in real life you're going around the city and
you're screaming stuff but that's me know if you see me with my friends
that's how I act right that's you but you are so selective that's about who
your friends are and who you're friends with that you know I mean yeah we
definitely have a small circle of like real friends because I give so much in
my family life for me with friends I really want to make sure that I'm giving
my energy to the right group of people so you know some people don't meet me
there like where they're like waiting for performance and I'm just like not
feeling and thank you or not I'm gonna waste this all this energy on you guys
so I think that it's yeah I'm very selective but Gary is a social butterfly
this guy can talk to anybody at any time he wants to go out all the time oh my
god he always makes fun of the fact that you know when we got married he thought
that you know he's marrying a 21 year old it's like she's gonna be dragging me
to the clubs but when we got married it was just like so why do you want to
watch tonight in her PJs and he's actually the one that
sometimes has to push me to go out and do things I'm tired man I need to sleep
I love Gary's parenting style oh really how did you decide on what values to
give your kids how to raise them and how you guys handling everything now that
you're teaching so it's actually interesting because we had that whole
debate the other day about yes about the kids living this privileged life as
compared to the lives that you and I had yeah you know me to elaborate
yeah you should malarious well I know you love this subject Larry and I you
know we both come from really modest beginnings in contrary to what some
people think yeah those people don't know what they're talking about right
people people serve make certain assumptions because they see the results
of all of the work that we've done today and they just assume it's always been
like that but I came from a family that you know we emigrated when I was really
young I was three years old and we came to Canada from the Ukraine with nothing
and I remember growing up in that struggle with you know with my my
parents doing everything we could malaria it was even more difficult
because her mom came literally from nothing we went through two immigrations
her mom for a very large portion of the time raised her as a single mom I think
Victoria was the 21 yeah I left Russia and malaria was like - yeah when you've
been here 21 can you imagine what that is you take a 20 when you're 21 years
old you're a woman you're by yourself you're not you know you're not you're
not married you've just gotten divorced you take your two year old baby girl and
you move to another country with no money no nothing it was very difficult
for you to grow up in that environment it was very difficult for me too because
my family me financially they never you know became more wealthy and we you know
get comfortable I used to have these fantasies of the kids growing up similar
how I grew up in an apartment building playing in the hallways and up and down
the staircases but that's not gonna happen but getting back to what the
point is is like we have staff we have people of both you know on valaria Inc
side who work with us and we have our team at home we need that team because
we're trying to build something really big and we just can't do it all
ourselves our boys they're growing up in what can be perceived as
a privileged life but it is a privilege that it's are they gonna grow up to be
brats I've personally seen a lot of brats come out of wealthy privileged
homes you know I've also seen nice polite well-rounded people come out of
similar situations the responsibility is on us to make sure that our boys are
good people I'm scared of you know the amount of access not access x-- e x--
it's like excessive like excessive like everything having of too much of
everything and we're trying to do better for our kids all of us no matter you
know how where we are financially we always try to do better the generation
today is so coddled it's so protected that something's missing there that
independence and I want my kids to have that I know I had that and I'm so
thankful that I had that and there were times going on I was looking at more
privileged kids being like I wish I had their life but I know that today I mean
it gave me all the tools to become Who I am and I wanted my kids who have the
same for us the most important tool is to show them what is real and what's not
and what's important and what's not and you can enjoy superficial stuff but know
that that means nothing compared to having the right priorities here's a
good question that I think is gonna be tough for us to answer
apart from kids and work what are some topics you talk about the most what do
we talk about besides the kids and work we talk about experience that we want to
have does that work though we you talk about our goals a lot we talk about our
goals a lot yeah where we want to be in like 20 years
how we want to retire places who want to go - I'd love to hear how you guys
tackle postpartum life together tips and advice I don't think yeri understands
with postpartum is I feel like I'm gonna do a separate video about it I
definitely didn't talk about it enough I don't share a lot with Gary because I
feel like it's things he can't really help with it's something that I have to
take initiative and try to make myself feel better I mean when I do need extra
help or you know like this time we took a night nurse which we
never did before and I told Kerry that I'll need that extra help because now I
realize on my third child that I really need that time to recover and heal more
mentally than even physically physically as a whole other things I really wanted
to make sure that I have all the support that I can get
I think Gary's part of helping me in this is that he agree with me and he
said this and whatever you need to do whoever we need to get let's do it okay
guys we have to go pick up the kids taken to a birthday party I'll take you
to your birthday party yeah and that's it I hope you guys
enjoyed this video if you have any other questions you can ask in the comments we
will answer and let us know if you want to hear anything else from us I just
want to say thank you we really see the support that you guys are giving us it
really really does mean a lot we'll see you guys in the next video but it's
probably gonna cut most of the south or whatever I don't care I still love her
she's still cute love you guys
you