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  • Welcome to the two of you.

  • I'm gonna go straight in with the big questions.

  • Ashley, what do you think's gonna happen in the next four weeks?

  • Oh, I mean, I think the only way that everyone's gonna be happy is if nobody's happy.

  • Then every will be happy because no one is happy, because that's fair.

  • Yeah, s.

  • So I think there's a high likelihood that nobody's gonna be happy, and so every will be fine.

  • No one's left out.

  • Yes, or no one's left out was the worst thing that can happen is when someone else is having a good time and you're not.

  • So I really feel like there's gonna be a real plus for humanity forever.

  • Just mean really measuring.

  • Or like, that's how it should be.

  • Really?

  • Well, listen, this, uh, the government was malfunctioning.

  • They didn't have a majority, so we technically didn't have a working government, so we absolutely had to have an election.

  • But this is very much the colonoscopy of election way.

  • No, it's not gonna be any fun.

  • I go.

  • Here's a question, because, I mean, no one really knows what to call this election.

  • I noticed something uses a calling it the new users users.

  • I've been watching the news called a news in Australia you're watching.

  • The news is here's the storm's east waiting to see what your future job is gonna be.

  • Oh, it's been called the Brexit election, and that is not excite anyone.

  • So I think our poll for tonight is what should we call it?

  • Let's come up with a better name for it.

  • Is anyone got any suggestions?

  • I'm sticking with colonoscopy, but camera election thing is that this is a camera up the anus of Britain with all of us just looking at shit.

  • I wasn't an Eton mess, Mrs Good people like clever, but not funny.

  • I genuinely don't know who to vote for this election.

  • I'm genuinely struggling, especially out of the two main parties.

  • Do I vote for the party accused of anti Semitism or the party accused of neglecting vulnerable people?

  • I'm kind of looking into Israel selection boxes, at least shit option.

  • At the moment, I kind of feel like I'm in a restaurant and a weight has come up and gone right.

  • Do you want this steak that's been dropped on the floor or the chicken that the chef sneezed on going out.

  • And I one of the grains like thing that I find difficult to take is when people go, I can't for labor because of concerns I have about racism.

  • So I'm going to vote for Boris Johnson.

  • My stepmother is a bit mean.

  • So I think I'm gonna live with Darth Vader.

  • Yeah, the whole thing does feel a bit like a divorced couple.

  • Even your mind going on saying vote for Boris?

  • I got such a bitchy thing to do.

  • You know what we were like?

  • Well, we're breaking up, but everything's about the kids, and we're not gonna let it get nasty.

  • And it's all gonna be fine.

  • And then, like five months days like you tell your father that I was having sex with the neighbor last night.

  • The noise you tell him that when he picks you up from the crash, Theo Labour's deputy leader, Tom Watson, resigned on Wednesday and said his decision was personal, not political.

  • Good.

  • Good for Corbin to know that you just hate him on a personal level.

  • I think this is a big deal, right?

  • Because there are There are no they're over at least very few moderate labor members left now is that Does that feel about right?

  • Yeah, what's incision of this feels about?

  • Right?

  • Tom Watson said in his letter.

  • He looks forward to having conversations with Corbin in the future about the things they still have in common, like their views on gambling regulations.

  • There's nothing like a friend you can share some gambling regulations just about to text in May and just say when the fun stop, stop.

  • It was quite weird because then Corbett did.

  • His response letter said that he was like, I really hope you enjoy the horseradish plants when you read it.

  • You like this.

  • Sounds like two spies communicate.

  • I enjoyed the gambling regulations.

  • Oh, and I, too, enjoyed the horseradish budget.

  • John Le Carre launched his campaign this week with some pretty big claims.

  • He said the Tories will sell the N HS on that.

  • Under a conservative government, food standards would be slashed to bring them in line with the United States, according to Corbin.

  • This means we would have quote maggots in orange juice and red hairs in paprika.

  • See, that sounds quite scary, but like other mind like is other mind of being in a pretty crap because I don't have a lot of it.

  • If it was things like there's gonna be rising hula hoops Fuck Used to spicy food.

  • I've got paprika.

  • I'll put Hula Hoops and Heston Blumenthal did it.

  • You'd love that.

  • The truth is, American food standards are slightly different to ours.

  • And in America, they say, Look there.

  • There is an acceptable amount of maggots in orange rat hairs in paprika that's different to here.

  • But the difference is no one checks it here.

  • Yeah, so we have different standards, but no one checks them.

  • So they might be maggots and our orange juice and red hairs and a paprika.

  • But there shouldn't be.

  • And that is the main difference.

  • Listen, I went to school in Britain in the 19 nineties.

  • I've eaten so much wrap you wouldn't blink.

  • You think turkey Twizzlers were made of turkey made off at best dog Penis like climate change, we'll be like all can't wait to go home and have some more Children like maggots.

  • Again way we've come up with a new method of predicting the election this year, something that's gonna grow and evolve As the election goes on, we have planted CREss eggs on.

  • I know people at home are excited to see.

  • So we had a whole bunch of eggs representing the leaders were put Chris in them.

  • We've wanted them over the wait.

  • Can we have a drum roll, please?

  • Let's see how they've gone.

  • E haven't visited home this week from the Lib Dems.

  • Yeah, come round door knocking early.

  • I turned out I love you.

  • See that as a visitor?

  • Everyone out now, Like I just pushed through the bullshit.

  • You wanna come in?

  • What is it?

  • I genuinely okay, so they're not doing the door.

  • Look, when you're waiting for the lift times, you don't like Lindsay Oil during the month, we woke up just in a chair, not looking at the TV I so I wasn't gonna invite them in and have a chat.

  • And then I thought, No, this could be like, you know, research for the show.

  • So I said, Yeah, OK, what have you got?

  • You invited them in?

  • Yeah, Well, Adam, were you alone in the house just tending to your eggs, right?

  • Maybe it's company.

  • Wait, your ex Think.

  • Okay, look, I mean Jo Swinson is pretty much convinced she's gonna be prime minister at the moment.

  • What?

  • You know, what hasn't been talked about is the chances of an opposition coalition Auras.

  • Well, we've decided to double on opposition.

  • Qawalish.

  • Okay, I like the fact that this week's last like it's been guest hosted by Dr Zeus.

  • I mean, I think it seems unlikely only because they all keep rolling out, but I think they have to rule it out right at this stage.

  • Like Joe Swanson and Jeremy Corbyn particularly have toe rule out because they have to be like, we're gonna win.

  • They can't campaign on a platform of we're gonna lose, but well, maintaining that they could actually happen.

  • But I think it I think it seems pretty unlikely just because that all seemed out actively despise you.

  • Like you don't want to be the person in The Apprentice.

  • He's also Well, just so you know, when you go into boardroom.

  • I did say was bad idea.

  • I'm just saying that now.

  • I'm not thinking I'm gonna gonna be in the boardroom, but when we are in a boardroom will say that up, up, up.

  • You know, I did say I put you know, you don't be that person.

  • Every time I have a haircut and I come home, my girlfriend goes, I go.

  • Why don't you guys look like you're a candidate on The Apprentice?

Welcome to the two of you.

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