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  • Top 100 Things Parents Never Want To Hear

  • 100) You're kinda old. 99) Pretty sure I just clogged the toilet.

  • I went to Taco Bell. 98) Yeah, I'm dating a 16-year-old, but she's

  • really mature for her age. 97) Everyone failed that test.

  • 96) College isn't for me. 95) I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop out.

  • 94) Why can't you wash the dishes? 93) Why can't you take the trash out?

  • 92) I'm really thinking about becoming a Scientologist. 91) Does this look like herpes to you?

  • 90) I kinda hit a stop sign with the car last night. It could've been worse.

  • 89) I thought it was a person at first. 88) Dang, putting on a little weight there

  • buddy. Might wanna do some Weight Watchers or something. P90X...Y...Z

  • 87) Hey mom, I kinda need to borrow $500. 86) I'm thinking about getting my nipples

  • pierced. 85) Mom!

  • 84) I'm thinking about getting my tongue pierced. 83) Mom!

  • 82) I'm thinking about getting a forehead tattoo.

  • 81) Mom! What?

  • 80) Come here. 79 All I'm saying is, I'm not the only one

  • who's doing nude modeling. 78) I might have maxed out the credit cards.

  • 77) I'm going to put you in a nursing home. 76) Did you know prostitution is legal in

  • Nevada? I know where I'm going for Spring Break.

  • 75) I don't even wanna live to be as old as you guys.

  • 74) I'm changing my major again. 73) You know I've been really thinking about

  • Satanism a lot. 72) I kinda took out a loan in your name.

  • 71) You can make a lot of money selling drugs. 70) You told me to get a job. I have a job

  • now. 69) Wait, so...do you and mom still...you

  • know? 68) This is the Orange County Police Department.

  • 67) This is the principal of the school calling. Your son has been exhibiting some strange

  • behaviors. 66) I think I've been driving 3 hours in the

  • wrong direction. 65) Mom, the toilet's not working.

  • 64) Can my girlfriend live with us? 63) I gotta tell you something, but I'll only

  • tell you on Jerry Springer. 62) I'm only failing three classes.

  • 61) I would never want to marry anyone like you.

  • 60) Yeah I'm dating an ex-felon, but everyone deserves a second chance.

  • 59) Why do I have to clean my room? It's my room. What if like it dirty? Did y'all ever

  • think about that? 58) I was lucky to get a D.

  • 57) The teacher just doesn't like me. 56) What does it mean if it burns when you

  • pee? 55) Hey, I think I just put a hole in the

  • wall, but I'm going to try and fix it before you guys get home. Love you!

  • 54) Mom, I kinda pawned you wedding ring. 53) You should be more like Billy's parents.

  • 52) Billy's parents are cool. 51) What did you see in mom?

  • 50) You smell old! 49) I'm dating a stripper. She's pretty nice

  • though. Her name's Bubbles. 48) Can my friend live with us?

  • No. Well, I mean he sorta has been living with

  • us. 47) I've been sneaking him in at night time.

  • 46) Mom, the toilet's overflowing. 45) Yeah, I signed up for Guys Gone Wild.

  • 44) I'm thinking about joining a gang. You think I should join the Crips or the Bloods?

  • OK...definitely the Bloods. 43) You guys have no swag whatsoever. Do you

  • even know what that means? 42) I'm pretty sure I got married in Vegas

  • last night. I don't really remember though. 41) How does an annulment work?

  • 40) I'm dating my college professor so that's like an easy A. You know what I'm saying?

  • 39) I need some more toilet paper. 38) Marijuana's legal in Colorado. Why can't

  • we smoke it here? You smoked marijuana right? No.

  • You didn't smoke marijuana? No.

  • 37) Well you should have. 37) What do you want mom. Stop calling me.

  • 35) Dad, I'm constipated. 34) It won't come out.

  • 33) You ain't the boss of me! 32) Dad, it hurts. It hurts!

  • 31) You didn't find marijuana in my room...that was cocaine.

  • 30) Those weren't my drugs. I was just holding them for a friend.

  • 29) You know where I can get the day after pill?

  • 28) Hey dad, I accidentally crashed the car again, but I'm Ok!

  • 27) Billy's parents let him do it! 26) I wish I was Billy.

  • 25) Pretty sure I just infected this computer. 24) Can I call you by your first name?

  • 23) I'm thinking about changing my degree from engineering to cosmetology.

  • 22) You act just like grandma. 21) I accidentally shot a guy.

  • 20) Are those the weed brownies? 19) You should just die your hair grey.

  • 18) We have insurance, right? 17) Which countries don't extradite?

  • 16) Wait, is that like a mustache you got now?

  • 15) Working is overrated. 14) I'm just going to live here with you guys

  • for the rest of my life. 13) She said she was on the pill. What am

  • I supposed to do? 12) Wait, I'm supposed to be paying taxes?

  • 11) I'm not going to take care of you when you're old.

  • 10) Ok, she's not a stripper. She's a call girl. There's a difference.

  • 9) I'm really exploring my sexuality these days.

  • 8) I'm thinking about doing some porn. It's pretty lucrative.

  • 7) I'm going to drop out of school to pursue my rap career. They call me Lil Scoot. Scoot-Scoot-Scoot

  • 6) Hi, this is the lab calling. We have your test results back. You're going to want to

  • come in as soon as possible. 5) I think I might have killed someone.

  • 4) It wasn't self-defense but he deserved it.

  • 3) Mom doesn't love you. 2) I'm thinking of having a sex change.

  • 1) My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm pretty sure it's mine though.

  • What number was the funniest? What Top 100 video should I make next?

  • I'm a grown man.

Top 100 Things Parents Never Want To Hear

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