1) You're wrong. 2) Who dresses you?

3) Did you forget your meds today? 4) I was listening. I just wasn't paying attention.

5) When are you going to get a real job? 6) Your daughter's pretty hot.

7) I don't know what happened to you. 8) You smell like booze.

9) You got any on you? 10) Are you wearing a thong?

11) You know age is just a number. 12) When do we start sex ed?

13) Have you always been this lame? 14) Or is this just more recent?

15) You should really workout more. 16) Can you not tell any more jokes ever again?

Just stop. 17) I thought you were banned from coming

50 feet within a school. 18) You're a lot better looking than I remember.

19) You're the guy from How To Catch A Predator! 20) How did you get this job?

21) Are budget cuts really that bad? 22) I can teach this class better than you.

23) I found it in the garbage. 24) I wasn't texting. I was SnapChatting.

25) There's a difference. 26) It must be great to sit around and play

with kids all day. 27) You didn't teach me anything. That's why

I failed. 28) You're too old to understand.

29) Can you twerk? 30) Why does it take you so long to grade

our tests? 31) I know you don't have any friends.

32) Why'd you call on me? The Chinese guy's right here!

What? 33) Can I leave early?

34) Do you have any cigarettes? 35) I make more money than you do.

36) Do you even know what you're doing? 37) Have you even read the textbook?

38) I haven't. 39) You don't know that.

40) That's not right. 41) Honestly, I only took this class for the

girls... 42) ...definitely not the teacher.

43) Oh, so you know the answer? No, I just need to take a dump.

44) Did you accept my friend request yet? 45) I know you denied me, but I thought this

time maybe... 46) Hey, what are you doing after class?

47) Is it that time of month again? 48) Must come twice for you.

49) Can I get a two-month extension? 50) When did you decide to give up on your

dreams and become a teacher? 51) You know, you don't look that ugly today.

52) Surprising. 53) Oh, sorry...just hold on. Just let me

finish this text. 54) I dare you to eat it.

55) *Burps* 56) Are you still talking?

57) I didn't read the book. 58) I just used SparkNotes.

59) Where did your life go wrong? 60) Didn't we just get matched on Tinder?

61) If this isn't for a grade, why are we doing it?

62) If you're not married now, it's probably not going to happen.

63) I have a gun in my backpack. April Fools! 64) You're attracted to me.

65) I was having such a nice nap. 66) Can you help me buy some alcohol?

67) Honestly, I don't even have time for this! 68) You're wife is pretty hot.

69) Are you a virgin? 70) I learn more from Wikipedia.

71) How disappointed were your parents when you told them you wanted to be a teacher?

72) I learn more from Google. 73) You ever hear that quote "Those who can,

do. Those who can't, teach." 74) I learn more from Yahoo and I don't even

use Yahoo! 75) I didn't raise my hand.

76) Are you still talking? I haven't been listening.

77) Could we get a 45 minute break...for two hours?

78) So are you married? Is it a guy? 79) When is lunch?

80) My parents pay your salary. 81) Do you have any gum?

82) How long til this class is over? 83) Oh, great. Yeah, just call on me cause

I'm Asian. C'mon! Don't any of you guys know the answer?

84) You're having such a bad hair day. 85) When's the last time you've been on a

date? 86) It's only plagiarism if you get caught.

87) Didn't I see you on Christian Mingle? 88) What's the least amount of work I can

do and still pass? 89) Who do you think you are? You're not the

boss of me! 90) Oh, I just need to take this call. Hello?

91) Can we watch a movie today...and tomorrow...and the whole week?

92) This is the easiest class I've ever taken. 93) How is this relevant?

94) I just started this new diet program. You should really get on it.

95) You ever watch Breaking Bad? We can do that.

96) Do you have diabetes? 97) There's a reason you're a Ms. and not

a Mrs. 98) Do you even lift?

99) You should just retire before you drop dead.

100) Is this going to be on the test?

I'm a grown man.