from a Jewish tradition, the same one

傳統的猶太家庭，和

as Bernie Madoff, the worst financial criminal

史上最壞的經濟罪犯Bernie Madoff一樣

in history. So perhaps all Jewish transactions,

所以也許所有猶太人的金融交易

including mine, need to undergo some

包括我的，都必接受

extra scrutiny. My Catholic wife seems okay,

更嚴格的檢查，我太太是天主教徒所以好像沒問題

but we all know about the horrors of priests and pedophilia.

但我們都知道有些神父是戀童癖這是很可怕的

So maybe all Catholics, including Patty,

因此也許所有的天主教徒，包括我太太Patty

need to undergo some psychological testing. Now my Italian relatives,

都必須接受心理測驗。我的義大利親戚，

we know that they must be tied into the mafia, we've all seen The Godfather and The

我們就認定他們一定和黑手黨有關，大家都看過「教父」和

Sopranos,

「黑道家族」這兩部電影吧，

so we really need to be keeping an eye on them.

所以我們必須對他們小心一點

THEM the most dangerous four-letter word

「他們」這個字在英語四個字母組成的字中

in the English language. This word

是最危險的字，這個字

is used to isolate, to marginalize, to insult.

被用來孤立、邊緣化、羞辱他人

This word has been responsible for the suffering and death

這個字一直以來承擔了

of millions, millions of people.

千百萬人的苦難與死亡的責任

THEM is an obscene word.

「他們」是一個令人厭惡的字

I'm an entrepreneur, passionate photographer,

我是個企業家，熱愛攝影，

and have spent much of the last 12 years traveling in conflict regions,

我花了十二年的時間到一些動盪不安的地區旅遊，

places like North Korea, Syria, Iran,

像是北韓、敘利亞、伊朗，

getting people to communicate who otherwise would do anything to avoid

促進當地的人們相互溝通，否則他們為了防止另一方對己方不利

each other.

什麼事都做得出來

Working in confidential, small groups

我們的小組秘密行動

with hundreds of top business and government leaders

與數以百計的頂尖企業和政府部門的領導人見面

trying to break down stereotypes, attack

設法打破「他們」這個字，

this four-letter word, I've learned that THEMification,

給這些人帶來的刻板印象，我學會了一個字「非我族類」(暫譯)，

a new word now, THEMification, is often the root of the problems we deal with,

現在是一個新字了，「非我族類」，經常是我們面臨許多問題的根源，

both personally and geopolitically. We all know examples of the horrors

不論是個人或是地緣政治關係造成的。「非我族類」讓大家人心惶惶的例子

that arise from THEMification. Just a few of them - the Nazi Holocaust,

恐怕耳熟能詳。舉例來說：納粹大屠殺、

Rwanda, Darfur, Cambodia and the Killing Fields, the Balkans,

非洲盧旺達大屠殺、蘇丹的達佛大屠殺、柬埔寨大屠殺、巴爾幹大屠殺、

Syria today. And it's not just what THEY

今日的敘利亞。這並非事不關己、並非只是遙遠的「他們」

do to THEM, distant and far away. In America

對另一個「他們」所做的事。在美國

WE annihilated Native Americans

「我們」消滅了美國原住民(印地安人)

as our Manifest Destiny, interned Japanese-Americans,

被認為是「上天賦予的使命」，二戰時拘禁日裔美人，

and today randomly stop and frisk blacks

以及今日隨意攔下黑人搜查

and profile Arabs and Muslims. Now we all agree security is

將阿拉伯人和穆斯林貼標籤。我們都同意安全是

absolutely essential, no question about that.

絕對必要的，毫無疑問。

But unfortunately it's also sometimes used to rationalize some of these behaviors.

不幸的是有時候卻因此將上述行為合理化。

And while we're getting better, we still

現在情況雖然好轉了，我們仍然

look at someone who seems different and instantly label as THEM.

對那些看起來和我們不一樣的人立刻貼上「他們」的標籤

So why do we do this? Why do we see others through this lens of THEM?

我們為何如此？我們為何以「他們」的異樣眼光檢視他人？

Historically THEM

歷史上的「他們」

helped to differentiate families, tribes for protection, bonding, to secure scarce resources.

是用來區別不同的家族、種族，目的在保護自己，連結親密關係，保障稀有資源

helped to differentiate families, tribes for protection, bonding, to secure scarce resources.

是用來區別不同的家族、種族，目的在保護自己，連結親密關係，保障稀有資源

Today though, we continue to use THEM to identify with

今日，我們仍然用「他們」來區別

our group excluding others.

並排除不屬於我們這個圈子的人

But why? An important reason is that the world is overwhelming,

為什麼？有一個重要的原因是這個世界太混亂了

full of confusing, complicated information. To simplify this complexity

充滿了混淆，複雜的訊息。為了簡化這樣錯綜複雜的環境

and to reduce and protect us from ambiguity, which is a very uncomfortable

減少並保護自己因歧義帶來的傷害，這種歧義恍如

feeling

芒刺在背

we label, categorize,

我們將人貼標籤，分類

and stereotype. It's also efficient

也有了刻版印象。將人貼上「他們」

to label as THEM, but when we do that

的標籤似乎輕而易舉，但當我們這樣做的時候

we lose much of our ability to reason,

我們就失去了理性判斷，

to feel, and to empathize. We also, at that point,

去感受、同理他人的能力。同時，我們也因此

begin to only seek,

僅僅接收、

see, and hear what we want and expect to find, and what psychologists call

看，和聽我們想要和預期中的答案。這就是心理學家所稱的

confirmation bias. And it doesn't help that the media,

「確認偏誤」。我們總習慣將問題歸咎他人

which we love to blame but really

於事無補

is just a magnifying glass and mirror for our own biases,

但事實上卻像一面放大鏡反映出我們自己的偏見，

reinforces THEMification.

並深化了「非我族類」意識

How often do we hear the words Islamist, Muslim, terrorist, Arab, suicide bomber,

有多少次我們聽過這類的字如伊斯蘭教徒、穆斯林、恐怖份子、阿拉伯、自殺炸彈客、

al Qaeda

蓋達組織

used as a synonyms?

被用來作為「非我族類」代名詞？

This creates fear and a powerful

這造就了恐懼，

filter through which we are taught to see the world.

並強而有力地改變了我們看世界的角度

Fear is created by THEM. Fear

恐懼是被「他們」造成的。恐懼

is often false expectations appearing real.

往往是看似成真的錯誤期待

We're hard-wired - when the amygdala in our brain senses danger,

我們有一種本能，當大腦的杏仁體感受到危險，

it's designed to protect us. It immediately hijacks

這種本能就可以保護我們。它立即凌駕了

our prefrontal cortex, or our intellect, and our limbic thinking,

前額葉皮質，或是我們的思維能力，及邊緣思考，

our emotional brain. We go into fight or flight, survival mode.

邊緣思考是由大腦專門管理情緒的部分所掌管。生存模式被啟動，進入戰鬥或逃離的抉擇。

This comes at a huge cost. We sacrifice

這些反應有其代價。我們犧牲了

our openness, our willingness to hear,

寬闊的心胸、傾聽和

see others, our liberties. We sacrifice our humanity

瞭解他人的意願、自由意志，我們也犧牲了人性

every time we allow this automatic THEMification filter

這些都源自於我們戴上「非我族類」的有色眼鏡

to operate.

來看世界的那一刻。

It's time to eliminate the use and mindset

現在，我們該消弭這樣的心態和有色眼光。

of THEM. But it takes sustained,

但這需要持久的、

conscious effort to get past THEM, and it takes courage.

由衷的努力才能超越「他們」這道籓籬，這需要勇氣。

We all want to believe we're good and admitting,

我們都渴望相信人性本善，

even to ourselves, that we stereotype and exclude others

要坦承這樣的刻板印象和排他行為實在不容易—

is painful. But it is possible. One of the most powerful ways,

即使只是對自己誠實。但要消弭這種心態並非不可能。最有效的方式之一

which I've seen work hundreds of times, is through individual stories.

且屢試不爽，便是透過個人故事。

When we really learn someone's story, THEY become more than a stereotype,

當我們真正學習到發生在某人身上的故事，「他們」就超越了刻板印象，

a living, real, nuanced human being.

成為活生生的、真實的、與眾不同的人。

An exercise I've led many times over the past decade,

有一種遊戲我過去十年玩過很多次，

In The Other's Shoes, has each side retelling

這個遊戲叫「設身處地去感受」，由一個人將他

in the first person the story they've just heard from the other;

從另一個人那裏聽到的故事，把自己換成是故事裡的主角，再把這故事講給下一個人聽，

a real-life role play stepping into their shoes.

一個真實的，設身處地站在他人的立場的角色扮演

Try to imagine, a Palestinian

試著想像一下，一個巴勒斯坦人

becomes an Israeli and says,

變成一個以色列人然後說

'I come out of a cafe in Tel Aviv and hear a loud explosion.

「我從特拉維夫的一個咖啡館出來並且聽到一個巨大爆炸聲

I see my brother-in-law's blood and body parts all

我看到我的舅子淌著鮮血破碎的肢體

over the street, another Palestinian attack.'

散佈在街上，又一個巴勒斯坦人的恐怖攻擊」

And then the Israeli mirrors back what he's heard

接著再由一個以色列人轉換成巴勒斯坦人

from the Palestinian. 'In the middle of the night

講述巴勒斯坦人的故事「半夜的時候

the soldiers storm in to occupy our home. They're screaming at us,

一群以色列士兵衝進來佔領了我家。向我們咆哮 ，

humiliating me in front my family. We're terrified, locked in a small room,

在我家人面前羞辱我。我們都嚇壞了，被關在一個小房間裡。

and we've done nothing wrong.'

而我們並沒有做錯什麼。」

In The Other's Shoes really works

「設身處地去感受」真的有效

because once we learn someone's story,

因為一旦我們進入了別人的故事，

once we understand how they see their truth,

一旦我們瞭解別人所持的真理是什麼，

their reality, we don't have to accept that

他們的現實環境，我們不必然要接受這些

as our truth, but just by hearing their story

成為我們的真理，但光是藉著聽他們的故事

we're changed. So getting past THEM

我們就已經被改變了。要超越「他們」這道藩籬

obviously is critical on a global and national level,

必然得站在國際和世界的角度，

but it's also really in our enlightened self-interest.

同時也是利人利己的。

We can improve all of our relationships, including our personal relationships,

超越「他們」能直接改善所有與外的關係

by getting past THEM. We manage to turn our spouses and partners

包含個人的人際關係。我們把配偶和夥伴

into THEM. Has anyone here ever

變成「他們」。有沒有任何人

call their spouse or partner, gone into this mode of

把自己的配偶或夥伴，說成

'he always', 'she never'. We just created

「他總是」，「她從不」。我們就是在製造

THEM. So just imagine how much better our most important

「他們」。試想像若沒有「非我族類」從中作祟，

relationships would be, free of THEMification.

我們最重要的人際關係發展是否將有所不同

Mark Twain said, 'Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness'

馬克吐溫說：「旅遊是偏見、偏執、心胸狹隘的殺手」

which is why I go to places we think we know everything about

這就為什麼我經常探訪我們自以為瞭解的地區，

and are often wrong. But we don't have to get on a plane to travel,

並因此發覺過去的認知往往與事實相違背。不一定要坐上飛機才算是旅遊，

we can travel every day in our communities,

我們可以每天遊歷我們的社區，

schools, offices. Make an effort to really get to know

學校，辦公室。認真的去認識

people, get to know those around us. We can go

他人，以及周遭的一切。我們可以

from THEM

將「他們」

to US. Can we interact with one

變為「我們」。我們可不可以每天

new person a day? Maybe someone

去認識一個新朋友和他交流？ 那個人也許是

behind us at the supermarket, with us in the elevator, the barista at Starbucks,

在超市結帳時排在我們後面的、一起搭電梯的、星巴克的服務員、

maybe the homeless person on the street.

或是無家可歸的街友。

By doing that, are we able to get to a place

藉此，我們就能更上一層樓

where when we see someone who seems different,

當我們看到與眾不同的人們，

maybe wearing a sari, a headscarf,

也許穿著印度服，頭巾，

a kippah, a cross, a hoodie,

猶太帽，十字架，帽T，

we stop, we talk to that person, find out who they really are

我們停下來，和他說話，去認識他們

as fellow individuals. Learn about their life, their family,

當作是我們同胞一樣。深入了解他們的生活、家庭，

beyond that apparent difference.

那些藏匿於外表下的故事。

This is also critical when we travel overseas.

這對我們出國旅遊也是很重要的。

Some friends here in Boston chastised me for spending time with terrorists

有一些我波士頓的朋友責怪我和恐怖份子在一起

when they saw this at a photo exhibition of my work from the Middle East.

因為他們在我中東工作攝影展裡看到我的照片

Well Abdulsalaam is a Bedouin entrepreneur

事實上 Abdulsalaam是一個貝多因的企業家

who welcomed my family into his home. His name actually means 'servant of peace',

他接待我全家人到他家。他的名字真正的意思是「和平使者」

yet he was labeled by some a terrorist, a criminal, a

但卻被貼上恐怖份子、罪犯、「他們」

THEM, simply because he's wearing an Arab headdress.

的標籤—只因為他戴著阿拉伯人的頭飾。

We can get past THEM with four simple steps.

藉著簡單的四個步驟我們就可以超越「他們」的藩籬

I call them the 4 C's. First we've got to be Conscious,

我稱之為「四個C」。首先我們必須能「意識」

be aware of that stereotypical phrase 'THEY

意識到「他們總是」

always'. We can only change something once we're aware of it.

這句刻板的話。唯有意識到某件事情的存在，我們才能做出改變。

Second be Curious. Let curiosity replace our biases,

第二是要有「好奇心」。讓好奇心取代偏見、

our judgments. What's it really like

指責，並瞭解設身處地時

in their shoes? Third

真相是如何？第三

be Compassionate toward ourselves, toward others.

要有「同情心」不論對待自己，或對待他人。

Brain research shows that we're much happier

一項對大腦做的研究顯示，當我們有同情心的時候

and more open when we're compassionate. And finally

我們會更快樂心胸也更開闊。最後一個是

Challenge everything we see, believe, and are told.

「質疑」我們所看到的、相信的、別人說的所有事情

Challenge media reports about THEM, challenge everything we've always known

「質疑」媒體對於「他們」的報導，質疑我們平常所知的

about THEM. Fight the urge to support and defend

「他們」。極力捍衛我們的

our positions. And when we catch others THEMifying,

立場。當我們察覺其他人有「非我族類」意識時

challenge. The 4 C's really work

就去「質疑」。這四個C真的很有效

and I've seen this many many times. For years

我已經看過太多成功的例子。多年來

India and Pakistan had no diplomatic relations and risked nuclear war.

印度和巴基斯坦沒有外交關係並且有爆發核戰的風險。

I helped catalyze a group of 133 top Indian business leaders, who

我協助促成了一個由133個印度企業領袖組成的團體，

walked across the Wagah border to meet with their Pakistani counterparts.

通過了印、巴Wagah邊境，與巴基斯坦的對方見面。

The Indians were expecting to step into a terrorist hell hole,

印度人原以為即將邁向恐怖份子的地獄之門，

the ultimate THEM, but with ample security.

最終的「他們」，那裡戒備森嚴。

After we spent three days together

經過三天的相處

all the participants became conscious of their stereotypes,

所有參與者開始認知他們的原有的刻板印象是什麼，

curious about the other's narrative, compassionate,

對於對方的故事感到好奇，有同情心，

and challenged their preconceived notions.

質疑他們的先入為主觀念。

This allowed them to really see their similarities,

這使得他們真正看到彼此的相似處，

that the Indians and Pakistanis look the same,

那就是印度人和巴基斯坦人外表很像，

have a shared cultural heritage, and are one people.

享有共同的文化遺產，而且屬於同一個民族。

THEM had been overcome.

「他們」這時候就被超越了。

The 4 C's also work on a personal level.

這四個C也適用於個人的層面

I try very hard to be aware of and get past my THEM prejudices and it's not

我很努力想克服我自己對於「他們」的偏見但這並不

easy.

容易

Three years ago I was in Syria with my family.

三年前我和家人在敘利亞

We're walking and hear a loud mob chanting. Well I'm triggered.

我們正在走路的時候聽到很大聲的群眾誦吟聲音。我的緊張神經被觸動了。

I go into fear, freak out, I've got to protect my family we're in Syria.

我開始害怕，快抓狂了，身處敘利亞我一定要保護我的家人。

But I'm curious and I feel really foolish

但是我很好奇而我也感到自己很可笑

when we go closer and find that it's a promotion for giving chocolate on

因為當我們走近的時候發現那只是一個在

Mother's Day.

母親節發送巧克力的活動。

My curiosity and willingness to challenge my fears

我的好奇心和質疑恐懼的意願

means I didn't come back here with the story of escaping something horrible in

代表我並非要述說個在敘利亞逃離危險的故事

dreaded Syria, but instead

而是我如何

join the festivities and am hoisted on the shoulders

加入歡慶的行列並和

of THEM.

「他們」勾肩搭背一起歡樂。

THEM, my new friends.

「他們」，是我新認識的朋友。

We all have a long way to go including me

我們都還需努力，連我都一樣

but every step forward is significant.

但是往前邁出的每一步都意義重大

Be conscious, be curious, be compassionate

要有認知、好奇心和同情心，

and challenge challenge challenge. And remember,

要質疑、質疑、質疑。記住，

there is NO THEM

一旦你「瞭解他們」

once you KNOW THEM. Thank you very much.

「他們」這個藩籬就會被打破了。非常感謝。