It's actuallyaboutmanagingouremotionsin a morehealthy, constructivewaybecauseweneedeverybodyinvolvedtogiveus a greatgreatsupportsystemtoget a healthymindin a healthybody.
Give a talk, wearsperson.
Whatareyoudoing?
No, don't dothat.
Whatareyoudoing?
You'redoingallright, guys.
Well, I'm reallysorry.
I'm gonnago, So I knowherlawyeriscomingfor a second.
Butthat's justbecausewehave a releaseformthatliketomakesureyouwant a viable.
And I alsodon't wantpeoplethinklike I'm commentlike, I knowthatshehasn't evenjustlike, youknow.
But I cantellyouthatourpeopleoftenassumetheunitsareonlylooking.
Onewaythatisindisorderisjustwhenpeoplearetooskinnyandtheyneedtoeat a sandwich, getoveritlikethat's whatyouhear.
So I wasscrollingthroughTwitter, and I sawthispictureofyouGinaCooney a fewweeksago.
Andyo, thatgirlseemslikeshe's actuallyrecovering.
Peoplewereexcitedandtheywereposting, youknow, kindoflikegetting, and I evensenther a text, and I wasjustlike, hey, like, oh, myGod, Like I criedlookingthepicturelike, youlooksohealthy, sogood.
I'm soproudofyou.
Justdon't thankyou.
Like I didn't knowhewasgonnapostthatlikewhatever.
Andnow I'm like, Oh, fuck, youknowthat.
I mean, itwaswiththebestintentionsandpeoplesaystufflikethatallthetime.
I justknowfrommypatientsandviewersalikethat, likeYurideserterstakestheinformationandturnitintoaninsult.
Butthat's notyourfault.
Youdon't weighjustwanttostayawayfrom, like, anycommentonhowtheylook, which I knowjustit's hard, especiallyifyou'relike, Oh, myGod, youlooksogoodAndwemeanitin a veryearnestlike I'm sohappyforyou.
I wasreallyworriedaway, butitcouldjustbemisconstruedtakeninto, like, eatingdisorderchaos e guess I justhavesomanyquestions.
Thatsomethingtoyou.
I guess I'lljustseehowitgoeslikesomanyquestions, justpersonally.
But I don't knowwhichonesareover 70.
I don't getWhydidn't shesaythingsforsolong?
Whywasshesuddenlyallthesepeoplethinkyou'reYou'resuch a horribleperson.
Butno, I don't findityears.
I wanttoknow.
Howdidshedosomuchlike, I don't know.
That's triggeringtosaythat, butlike I mean, shewaswalking.
Camera, thoughYoumeanlike a lotofmypatientswhoareunderweightnotdoingwellcando a lotin a shortperiodoftimeyou'reprettymuchrunningonadrenaline, and a lotoftimeswhenwehave a meetingdisorderthatcausesustobeunderweight, ourbodyrunsonthat.
I justassumedthatwaswhatwasgoingon.
I don't know, butthatmightbewhyshewasabletodomorethanwaywouldthink.
But I meanaskingherthatyoucouldsay, I mean, maybethewaytophrasethings, firstofall, talkingtohertime, seeingwhatshe's comfortablesharing.
But I thinkmaybethewaytophrasethingsislike, nothowareyouabletodo X y Z?
It's morelikeWasitdifficultkeepingupwiththings?
Orwasiteasyversuslike, thisseemsimpossible.
Thatcouldbelike I don't know, Youknow, shemightnotbesocomfortable.
I don't know.
Onething I noticedwhile I waslookingatallthevideoson, I guess I'llfindoutwhen I seehertomorrow.
Butlikeshechangeshervoice a lot.
Hi, guys, Eugenia.
So, likewhen I wasgoingthrough, I wasseeinglikeoldvideoswhereshehad a deepvoice.
I mean, thefirsttimeshe's talkingaboutit, and I shouldbring.
That's justherdoingthebestshecan, youknow.
But I wouldassumeit's becauseit's hard, likeweknowIt's hardshe's doing.
I can't imaginesharingtheirpersonalof a storybecausepeopledowanttohearyourstory, right?
It's notIt's nottoosoon.
I know.
I mean, it's a lottoher.
Honestly, nooneknowswhenit's okayforsomeonetotellsomethingotherthanthepersontellingIfshe's beenwantingtowhichitsoundslikeshehasfor a while, I thinkthat's allgood.
I don't wantit.
I guess I'm justnervoustoelike, Well, if I couldinterjectfor a second.
I thinkitwouldbehelpfulforpeopletoseeandhearaboutitfromsomeoneinit, youknow, andtoknowthatrecoveryispossible.
That's quote.
Yeah.
Okay.
Whatisthat, youblueberryyesterdaywhen I was, like, reallydoingresearchandjustwatchingallofheroldervideosnow, justlike, Oh, myGod, thisissointense.
Andwhatam I doing?
Should I bethepersondoingthis?
Like I'm nothopefor?
I'm notDrPhil.
Who's here?
Oprah.
Dr.
PhilFlavoredeyes.
Somethingmustbewrong.
I wasjustsayinghowlastnight I freakedoutabouteverything.
I almostthoughtlikemediationtothis.
I thinkitwillbeokay.
I mean, youshouldbemorenervousthananybodyyouliterallyhavebeenapartoflikehe, youknowthatHeusedtobeon a newschannelandtheytalkedaboutEugenia, andtheymadetwovideos, andthefemaleTitanwasbad.
I mean, isEugeniaCockneyshocked?
Emojifuckingemoji.
Booth.
I wokeuptodayand I waslike, Youknowwhat?
Asidefromtheeatingdisorder, stop.
I justwanttoknowwhatlikethis.
Okay.
Herhouse.
Whatisthat?
Thebedroom.
Theiconicbedroom.
Butthat's allwe'veseen.
I thinkinhervideosthatwe'vebeenseeingtherestofthehousebuthe's veryenvironmentlike I can't evenimagineherwalkingaroundthehouse.
Sheliterallylowsandnotbecauseofherweight, butbecauseofhervibelike a TimBurger.
Anything I wantyoulikeyoutwochannels, channelsthatlike e o likeaboutmeanythinglikerightnow.
Likeifyoulike, ordered a drinkanditwaswrong, wouldyoujustbelike, Oh, it's likewrong, Butit's reallygood, youknow, maybeifit's like, it's good, butit's differentthat I couldgiveit a chance.
Andyou'relike, Oh, butthatnameislike, reallybad.
Orlike I don't reallydrinkitall.
Somaybetherewas, like, alcoholorsomething.
I mean, like, hey, youknow, like, maybecouldyouguysmighthavebeen a stakehere?
I didn't I didn't tellpeoplenexttomethat I kepttalking.
Whatyoudoing?
I'm like I justliketousethatthere's like a bigscreen.
I wassointoit.
Allthefanson I wasjust, like, kindofhopingtheywouldstop.
Butactually, actually, theguyinfrontofus, youseemlike a bigfancykindofgivehim a lookliketosstalking.
Andtheylikethewayrecently, actuallytime.
Oh, people, wait.
Yougotfriends?
Anybodyknow?
Therewas a lotofpeoplejustbeinglikeyourfriendsarehelpingyourfriendoranything, Whatever, but I'm surethereweresomepeoplethatwerethereiskindofsomethingthat I reallytherewasalmostlikesomepeoplethat, like, neverreallysaidanythingtoyouforlateronlikelikeBuoyingmeuntil, like, tryingtomakedecisionsformeandkindofliketheyjustdon't listentomeatall.
I reallywantedtohear, Look, hope I'm feelinggoodmorning.
Neverseemedtocaremuchforanything, so I guessthat's kindofhard.
But I alsohave, like, youknow, goodpeopleinmylifethat, like, like, like, reallycare.
Allright, guys.
Soyeah, yousee, alsoprettypieactually, likemade a videowherehementionedme.
And I justreallywantpeopletosendher a CZmuchsupportandloveispossible.
And I mean, I reallymeanthat.
I thinkthat's theonlythingsheneedsrightnow.
Likethosekindofmessages, I thinkfortheonesthatarelikethemosthelpful.
Alsonotlikeattackingme, like, youknow, tryingtobelike, Oh, you'relike a horriblepersonlikekillyourself.
Thosekindofvideoslikethatstuff.
I justkindoffeellike, kindofputyoulike a worstmindsetatleast, likeforme, whereitkindofmakesitlike, hardertowannahelpyourself, Likesomeofthevideos, Theyjustseemlike, reallylikemeanspirited, kindofmademefeellike a lotmorelikelonely.
And I neverwishanythingbadwords, butdefinitelyaccepthurtsliketrustthiskindofpeople, I thinkHowdoyouthinkwasactuallybut e youknow, like I don't knowwhathappenedwithusbefore.
Oh, carthingshappennowItseemslikeit's good.
Oh, yeah.
Herewego.
WhatmoreDotheyreallyprotectthishouse?
Oh, myGod.
Yeah.
Yougottocutyourhair.
Sohehedid.
Yeah, Girl.
Seemslikeshe's actuallyrecovering, whichisso I reallyhopethisisreallyhurt.
I guess I'veneverreallyhad, like, thehighestselfesteem, whichyoudon't tryingtoworkonandstuff.
Youknow, I thinkitis, like, reallygood, though, that, like, I didmakethatdecisiontoe, um, getmyselfbackto, like, a healthyplaceand, like, dowhatislike, what I shouldbedoingAndisthatsomethingtothatis a bigadjustment, likebecausethere's gonnabe I'm sureevenonthisvideo, a lotofcomments.
Um, I'venever I heardyousay a thatyouhaveorhad a problemandbewhatitissOkay.
Yeah.
So I thinkmaybestartingthere, that's nottoohard.
Yeah, I thinkthat I thinkthatshouldbeokay.
Um, so, yes, I was, like, dealingwithaneatingdisorder.
Um, asforlike, I guess, likelabelswiththingslikethat.
Um, I guessthat's somethingthat I'vealsokindofweirdgoingthroughitandseeing, likeotherpeoplethatwere, likealsothere, thatevenknow, like a lotofpeoplecouldbelikedealingwitheatingdisordersthat, likeeachpersonstoryineachperson's likeexperience.
Thegoalisto, likehelphertell a storythat's beneficialforeverybody.
Itwasdefinitelyaneatingdisorder, butgettingtosack a cityreallygetto, webelieve.
Butthatmakesusthankyou.
Okay, so I'llspeakonmyexperience.
I alwaysknewDiehad a disorder.
I alwayswasveryselfawareand I wasalwaysverylike I knowthisisbad.
I know I shouldn't bedoingthis.
I feelguilty.
I feelembarrassed, likewhen I wouldbethrowingupinthebathroom.
I mean, I wasdoingwithfriendsintheotherroomand I waslikehidingitandtryingtowhatever.
It's very, veryshamefulthingtookme a longtimetotalkaboutit.
I lookinthemirrorand I see a hugeperson.
So I thinkmyquestionforyouislike, wasithard?
Andhisarerightnow, likeliterallyreallytalkaboutitbecause I feellikegivingnow.
It's a littlebitlike I don't wanttopushyoutoofar, but, youknow, I thinkyouknow, I don't know.
I can't imaginewhatyouwentthroughbecause I feellikeyoucanalwayshave a smile, somethingtryingto, like, putmyselfandseewhatitWozand I feellikeit.
Like, whatwasyourdaytodaybeforegettinghelp?
Yeah.
And, youknow, I guess, likebefore, they'rekindofwouldbeliketimeswhere I guess I realizedlike, hey, like, I'm notlikeeatingandnot I reallyshouldbetakingbettercareofmyselfandlike, I wouldhavepeoplelikemymomespecially.
Andobviouslytherewas a lotofpeopletalkingaboutthat.
I guessit's like, in a way, like, kindoflike, maybeevenlikesmokingorsomething, wherepeoplekindoflike, knowwhenthey'rebeinglike, Hey, youknow, I shouldstopthis, butit's likesometimeslike I shouldkindofgothroughperiodsorlikeyou'rebetteraboutit.
And, um, youknow, it's kindofweirdwithme, I guessbecause, like, evenlikewhen I wasyounger, I'vealways I reallyalwayshavebeen, like, pretty, like, naturally.
LikeSmall.
Yes.
I mean, likeinschool.
And I don't looklike a littleboyingandthatkindofthing.
I thinkthat, like, definitelywhenyouhavepeoplelikehopingsomebody's toyou, wecandefinitelykindofmakeyoufeelmoresecure, like, stickwithyouthen, I guess.
Kindoflikehisthingsweregoingforward.
Obviously, I waslike, losingmoreweight.
And I waskindoflike, notreallyacknowledgingthatandkindofjustbeingago, Okay, likewhatever.
Notreallyseeingthat.
Itwaslike a reallybigproblem.
Andthenwhen I justlikestupidvideosandallofthatandmychannelsaregrowingofit, thentherewas, like, certainpeoplethatwerelike, makevideosaboutmeand, like, talkaboutmybody a littlebit.
Itkindoflikewasreallyaffectingyou.
Like, reallybadly.
Andlike, makingmefeelreallybadAnd, like, nottakingcareofmyself, like, reallyin, Like, a reallybad, likemindstate.
I guessitjustkindoflikeprogressing.
And I wasn't reallydoingmuchlikestopbad.
And I guess, likeeventually, itjust, like, faulted a pointwhere I reallyrealizeditwouldbe a goodidea.
Getsomehelpforthat.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
Gettingout.
Sowhatwasitlike?
Becausewe'vegotaroundit.
Butyouwent.
I didn't Yes.
So, yeah, I wasin, um, like, rehabprogramforit, anditwasreallyhad a weirdexperience, I guess, becauseit's definitelylikewhenyougofrombeing, liketherealworldenteringthat, likeitsowner, likeway, youandallofthat.
Buttheydon't reallytellyouhowmuchweight.
I guesstheykindofkeepthatlike, Yeah, soyouknow, I actuallylikethat.
I guessyoudon't reallyknowwhat's goingonwiththat.
Exactly.
Itcanbekindoflikeyoucan't bein a way.
We'relikeIt's verylikelikescheduleslikeyouwakeupin a certaintimethansomedays, lookkindofcheckyourvitalsandmaybedo a bloodtest.
Somedaysit's likemakesurethingsgoin.
Allright, thenyoualsokindoftherapistComingin.
Impatientislikewhere I worked.
I didn't workenough.
Thehospitalsetting.
I workedimpatientwithlike a home.
Andthey'reallworkingtogether.
Andthere's groups, andthere's a lotof, like, observationsomethingaboutit.
Andwhereyouwasthere, liketheydoyouin, like, a foodplan.
Andhowdoyoudoit?
Waas?
Youkindofhave, like, a guest, likesomesayinit, buttheywerekindof, like, slowlyincreaseitandbegivingyoumore.
Sodefinitelylikeitkindofcanseemlike a lotwhenyou're, like, goinginthereandsuddenlylike, I didn't likeitsomuch.
So, um, yeah, thatkindof, I guess, kindofourfirst.
Andyouknowwhy I wasthere?
Like, um, I was I waskindofhonestly, like, surprised.
Like I wasn't reallylikewhen I movedoutto L.
A.
I wasn't really, likeregularlywaitingmissile.
Andthenwhen I did, like, findouthowlowmyweightwaslikecomparedtobefore, itwaskindoflikeshockingtomebecause I guess I didn't evenrealize, like I hadpeopletellingmemymomand, youknow, oldoflike, someofmyfriendsandstuff.
But I guess I diditlike, reallyseethatitwasgettingtothatpoint.
ReallySoatthesametime.
Like I guess I knewit.
I hadjusthadtodoitandlike I hadThiolikealltheprogramanddowhat I hadtodio.
Butyeah, itdefinitelylikewhenyou'regoingintoit.
Itcoulddefinitelyseemlike a lotandlike, isn't exactlytheeasiest.
Sofor a lotofpeopleuseourrealenemiesgainingweight, andthat's likeyourbiggestfear.
Butthatispartoftherecoveryprocessalong.
Peopledon't talkaboutthatbecauseitis.
It's likehardforpeoplewhoareinit.
I get a lotofquestionseverymonthaboutlikehow I lovemybodyatthisweek.
It's definitelyarehere, and I feellike I shouldhavealreadybeenlost.
I guessitcanbeforforsomepeople, itcanbelike a sideeffectthatwillhappenislikesomepeoplewillwhosehairandthepublictodamageinsultlikethatwhich I guess I wasreallyluckythat I didn't experienceanyofthatbecause I guessitcouldhaveendedupbeinglikethatcouldhaveendedupbeing a lotworse.
Wouldyoudowhat I eatinthedayvideo?
No, I don't think I would.
And, um, I wasstill, like, eatingeveryday, but I guessitjustwasn't reallylikethatmuch, Whichforme, I guess I justkindofwasn't really, likerealizingthat I likeit.
Shouldhavebeeneatingmore.
I guess.
Um I wouldn't askherwhatsheate, butinmyexperience, theydoeat.
It's justnotverymuch, but I wouldn't askherwhatshe's andlike.
It's definitelythinkgoodthatifyouhavelike a team, that's justkindofmakingsurethatyou'renotjustlike, youknow, likebeinglikeoh, eat a burgerand a bagofchips, anditcouldreallyfeellike a walkforthepersontojust, like, handleonce.
Definitelysomethingthatyouneedtobecarefulabout.
Sohaveyouthoughtaboutwhatyouare?
And I knowit's stillsuch a personalthingforme.
It's liketalkingaboutthefoodthing.
JapanesesnacksreallyknowJapaneseMax, but I'm surethey'recool.
And I thinknowpeoplelikeaskmeyou, like, foodrelatedquestionslike I wouldbelike, moreabletotalkaboutthatstilliskindoflike a comfortablewerelike, Youhaven't reallyoutoflineofallandsuddenlypeople, I guessalmostlikeexpectingyoutokindoflikeexpecting, youknow, like, comebackandjustlikeyeah, basically, which I guessthat's kindoflikeyoujustlikeexpecting.
Oh, yeah.
So I mean, I knowyougot a lifedifferent, I guess, but I can't belikewe'rewillingto, youknow, talkaboutthesubject, though, and I think I stillalsowanttomake, like, youknow, justlikevideosthat, like I thought, things I enjoybecause I alsothinkthat's a reallyimportantthingthat, likesometimes I thinklike, ifyoulikeformelikeitwasjustkindoffall.
Peopletalkaboutandpeoplekindoftreatyoulikethere's like, nothingmoretoyouIfthere's nothingelsethatlikeyoureallylikethepeople I careaboutyouralmostlikemoaninglike a human.
And I thinkit's likeit's likeimportantpeopletoknowthatwhetheryou'redealingwith, like, eatingdisorder, anothertypeofmentalhealthproblemorlikewhateverthatthatisn't likewhotheyare, likethereis a lotmoretothemthanjustthatandthattheyshouldn't feelliketheirwholeidentityisjustjustthatonething.
Andthere's like a lotmoretopeoplethanjustlikewhatthey'regoingthroughtheirdisorderthatthey'redoingwithYeah, but I woulddefinitelyliketoepeople, likeableto a littlebit, butyeah, I guess I'm notliketheexpert, butyou.
YouWell, okay.
Onthatnote, whatdoyouwant?
Whatdoyoudo?
Like, whatdoyouenjoysolike?
Let's Yeah, even.
Sortofgotgreat.
Nowwhat?
Whatdoyouwhatdoyoulike?
So I thinkwe'retalkingabout I, like, makeup a lotandstufflikethat.
Andlike, eventhough, like, notlikethebestitit's alwaysjustbeensomethinglike I reallyenjoyyoucouldlike, becreativewithitanddo a lotofstuffwiththat.
So I fashionedingeneralandstufflikethat.
Likewhat?
Oh, thisis a spirit.
You'reYeah, it's like a staritheOnethingyouhaveallfitactuallyknowmyhead's way.
But I'm alonewithbaggagethat I haven't yetclaimedon.
Takethat.
It's noteasyforme.
Thio, givespacetoyourSteptwo.
It's notyou, don't you?
I justneedtospeak.
I thinkthewayNotthatyoudeservetobetalkingabouttheway I I actuallydidn't haveyouforyou.
Really?
I think, Andwecoulddotogether.
I thinkyoushoulddo a videocalledWhat I missedwhile I wasactually a reallygooddealyoucouldlike.
Tellmewhathappenedwas I probablydon't evenknowhalfthestuffthat's beengoingonthatway.
Yougetit.
Yougo.
Soundslikemyfavorite.
Oh, I justsawOh, myGod.
I'm beingtriggersJacuzzisroom.
That's iconic.
If I justwentonyouGina's channel, justlikehey, wait.
JustyouactuallylikeDecembershouldgo?
Yeah, offersthat, Asyouknow, that's way.
Haveroomfor a while.
Andnow I'm backfromthat.
And I think I was a waiter.
Oh, good.
Okay, lastthinghappened.
Uh, youlefttheater.
I know.
I thankyousomuchcheesythis.
I thinkthat's socrazy.
Socooltothinkaboutthis.
Shewholikemeishehityoulike I don't evenknowthisiswrong.
Andpeoplewerelike, Oh, there's no, likethevideosweresoaggressivewiththisIsitlike, let's stoptryingtohelpherlikeIt's bad, Youknow, beingwithyouhearingwhatyou'vebeenthrough, italsojustyourattitudeaboutit's allbeenverylike, uh, butthefactthatsheis, I thinkdoingbetterhislike, I don't wantyoutowork a miracle.
Yeah.
Isitwrongtousethatword?
I mean, anybody, anybodyyoucouldsayislike a miracleway.
Allknow, it's hardtobemotive.
It's hardtochange, likepeoplealwaystalkabout.
Oh, therapymakesyouweakorwhatever.
Liketherapyisthehardestfuckingthing.
Looklikeyouexpected.
Stripaway.
Allthebullshitofwhateveryoudoislookinsideyoulike I likethataboutmyself, and I wanttofixit.
Andthatcouldbehard, youknow?
So I thinkit's alwayshere.
I'm gladshegothome.
Yeah.
Yes.
Whatsituation?
Likebiggerpicture?
Yeah, Notthat.
Like I'm theperfectexampleearlyexpertoranythinglikethat, but e Soit's likesomepeople.
Maybeyoucouldseethat, like, youknow, I wentthroughthisand I thinkdoing a lotbetterwaythen.
I thinkthatreallycool.
Likemaybesomepeoplethataregoingthrough a hardtimeoraneatingdisorderlikeanythingNo, theycan, like, getthroughthatthereislikehellforhimandthatpeopledocareaboutthem a lot.