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  • Um, sorry.

  • Are you supposed to be scary?

  • Welcome to watch Mojo.

  • And today we're counting down our picks for the top 10 least scary horror movie monsters.

  • Oh, please, mister, please.

  • I have a daughter cover.

  • Okay for this list will be taking a look at what we consider to be the dumbest and Orly scary monsters in horror movies.

  • To be clear, we're not seeing that these air bad movies.

  • It's just that they're monsters.

  • Don't exactly give us the heebie jeebies.

  • Also will only be including monsters which are legitimately meant to scare or at least a nervous so intentional B movie schlock will not be included.

  • If you like what you're hearing, be sure to check out the full song at the link below.

  • Yeah, that just never I wanted number 10.

  • The Gremlins Gremlins.

  • Yes, we understand that Gremlins is primarily a comedy, but it's meant to be a horror comedy hybrid.

  • And because of that, we're calling these things lame.

  • For one thing, this movie came out in 1984.

  • While the creatures may have been scary, then they look ridiculous today, which pretty much eliminates any semblance of horror they may have once had.

  • Secondly, their weakness is light.

  • A monster is not very intimidating if it only reaches your knee and can be defeated with a flashlight.

  • Granted, they absolutely terrified kids in the eighties, so job well done, we suppose Number nine, the Professor house of 1000 Corpses.

  • With a title like that and director Rob Zombie behind the camera, you'd think this movie would be filled with menacing creatures.

  • Nope, we got this instead.

  • The professor is a mutant with an oxygen mask who follows the orders of its boss, Dr Satan, and that's probably the most ridiculous sentence we've ever spoken.

  • We're not really sure what its deal is, but it looks absurd.

  • And the cheesy guitar music, which plays during his supposedly terrifying entrance, isn't doing it any favors.

  • But then again, we were not really expecting much from this movie anyway.

  • Number eight.

  • The Blob.

  • The Blob.

  • Mmm, yes, this movie is from 1958 but plenty of movies from the fifties air still scary.

  • This one is just bless.

  • The New York Times Review called the movie Special effects pretty phony.

  • And if they looked bad in 1958 you can only imagine how terrible they look over 60 years later.

  • The Blob is a giant alien thing which crashes to earth on an asteroid, and it eventually grows in size.

  • Is it feasts?

  • Theo.

  • Problem is, the Blob simply looks like a glob of jelly and moves like molasses is sure in real life.

  • It might be kind of scary to see a giant glob of jelly moving towards you, but for audiences, it's a bore way.

  • Windows Number seven.

  • The Zombies.

  • World War Z.

  • While the movie was certainly filled with nonstop zombie action, it would have been better if the zombies were actually, you know, scary like a zombie should be.

  • Perhaps due to its PG 13 rating, these zombies did not look menacing at all.

  • They just looked like rag dolls who ran fast and made goofy noises.

  • Okay, Also, the movie employed far too much C g i for its own good.

  • So scenes, which should have been terrifying, like a surge of zombies toppling a bus or scaling a giant wall, looked laughable.

  • Instead, they're very basic.

  • PG 13 Zombies for a very expensive PG 13 movie Number six.

  • Smiley Smiley What?

  • Think someone's gonna go smiling on me.

  • Who?

  • You know the urban legend.

  • Okay, let us just tell you this synopsis of this film The smiling killer is an Internet myth.

  • And when you type, I did it for the lulls three times into a webcam based website, Smiley will supposedly come and kill the person you're talking to.

  • Yeah, it's like bloody Mary on Lee with lulls and webcams.

  • Oh, well, I don't know why you did it, but I know why I did.

  • Not only is the storyline and supposed myth preposterous, but the killer with this sewn eyes and carved smile looked pretty stupid as well.

  • While it would probably scare a few kids who happened to be watching it does absolutely nothing for the rest of us.

  • Number five Giant Spider Iraqna phobia Call The spiders are definitely creepy.

  • Seriously, how many of you scream at the slightest hint of a spider?

  • Therefore, the finale of this movie about a group of poisonous spiders killing the residents of a small town should have been terrifying and grotesque.

  • Instead, we got a spider slightly larger than a torrential A.

  • It also follows the rule of every boogeyman monster ever as it comes back to life with a lame jump scare and chases the protagonist while it's on fire.

  • Yeah, we wish we made that up.

  • Spiders can be terrifying.

  • Spiders that act like Jason are just silly.

  • Number four.

  • The Creeper Jeepers Creepers This movie started out with a ton of potential seeming like a more disgusting, an extreme version of Steven Spielberg's Duel, the story of a psychotic truck driver who kills people in stitches them tow walls of an abandoned church.

  • Sounds bad ass.

  • But then the movie does a complete 1 80 we find out that this psychotic truck driver has wings and is actually an ancient creature who hunts humans for 23 days every 23rd spring.

  • Yep, it's really lame, and it ruined what could have otherwise been a perfectly fine horror movie.

  • Number three.

  • The leper con leper con three lucky side holding cycles.

  • There's a reason this movie was direct to video.

  • The 1st 2 leper con movies were bad enough with the giggling, diminutive villain that inspired neither laughs nor chills.

  • But somehow leper Con three managed to scrape even deeper into the bottom of the barrel taking Loved into Vegas and making him even more ridiculous.

  • Shoes.

  • Come on, Blue Suede.

  • I really like a man.

  • Well, thank you.

  • After all, it's hard to be scared of a villain who does Elvis impersonations.

  • Sure, his goofy antics were played mostly for laughs, but they somehow managed to fail at both.

  • And so did his super lame kills number to a very nice car, Christine.

  • Throughout much of the 19 eighties, Stephen King was flying high.

  • As a result, we got a bunch of weird stories, including some about inanimate objects attacking people.

  • The most famous of these is probably Christine, a story about a sentence and bloodthirsty Plymouth Fury way.

  • Yes, movie is every bit as silly as that sentence made it sound.

  • We mean what is honestly scary about a car and a really beautiful car, that the whole situation is embarrassing.

  • And while John Carpenter does what he can with the material, the story is far too out there to be even close to Scary Theo.

  • Before we unveil our least menacing number one pick, here are some dishonorable mentions.

  • My name is Elliot Moore, just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes we're just here to use the bathroom.

  • Oh, Oh, what you have to 7 10 split Before we continue.

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  • Number one Uber Jason Jason X Jason was once the king of the slasher movie, complete with a terrifying build and his signature hockey mask.

  • And then he went into space.

  • And once your franchise does that, you're pretty much done.

  • I'd say better.

  • Not only is the movie itself acid nine.

  • It's about a serial killer coming back to life in the year 2455 on Earth to, But Jason went from intimidating toe laughingstock riel Quick.

  • His new nanites suit is probably the dumbest thing we've seen in a horror movie, especially considering that his distinctive mask was replaced with whatever this is.

  • You can't really take this series too seriously, but this is a new low.

  • Do you agree with our picks?

  • Let us know in the comments.

  • And, hey, if you're a fan of the song playing right now, be sure to check out the music video for it right here.

Um, sorry.

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