Let's gobackSo I canexplainwhy I'm such a fuckingmessrightnow.
Sosometimes I getanideaand I seeitinmyheadand I saythisisgoingtobeanincredibleSiri's 53 parter.
Somanynextvideomoments.
Andwhen I get a sponsorship, I alwaysliketodosomethingreallynice.
Likegivesomemoneytocharity.
I wasabletowriteher a checkforthe $1000 by a kid A carway.
Areyoufuckingserious?
Yeah.
Spoileralertthat.
Now I'm gonnanarratethiswholeexperienceforyou.
Becauseif I don't, you'regonnabereallySomeandJoJo, you'regoingtotakeyouon a journey.
Let's startwithyesterdayandwhen I gotsuch a greatidea.
Okay, youknowwhat?
What A perfect.
Um, So I askedhertostartfilmingbecauseweareabouttoembarkonwhat I wouldcall a journeyyou'reproposing.
Notwhenyou'reeatingThio.
Okay, sothisis a branddeal.
Maybe I'llgetyousomuchtuna, baby, I'vegot a nicerain.
Whereisthisway?
Wecancallit.
Weowe.
Sothismightbe a greatdeal, butwhen I wastryingfigureoutwhattodoandhowtomakeitinteresting, I waslike, Okay, whatif I likedbymyfriends a bunchofdumbstuff, like, uh, on.
Then I waslike, Oh, yeah, Like a shoppingspreewherewehad a shoppingspreeatToys R Us.
Becausewe'rerunningoutofbusiness.
They'rebankruptineverything's on.
Theyhaverings.
Yes, theybringcopsandnodrinks.
AndtheyhaveWhatisthisforourchild?
Okay.
Hi, Mom.
Anyways, so I actuallyreallysadaboutthis.
Toys R UsisofficiallyBarrowToys R us, filingforliquidationandplanningtocloseitsdoorsafternearly 70 years.
Whatif I emailthegirland I say, Hey, I wanttowriteyou a checksothatyoucouldstopworkinghere.
Youhavetimetofind a betterjob.
And I alsowanttodosomethingreallycoolforyoursister.
I justfeelreallybad.
Like, I knowthat's notfixingeverything, but I wantedtodosomethingnice.
Sincethisis a sponsoredvideo.
Thisisweird.
I don't wannabeJakePaulBias, Jakeapologistswouldkickin, so I guesswherehewouldhavethrownthehoverboardthatwejustboughtherhead.
It's a goodidea.
Howshould I giveher?
HowmuchyouthinkpeopleatToys R UsAlmost 3000 forthenexttwomonths, sowecouldroundituptofive.
I wasgonnago 10.
Allright, Youfigurethisout, anditisreally I reallydidwanttohelpher, and I reallydidfeelveryinspiredbythis, But I'm gonnaaddreallycheesymusictothisnextmoment, because I couldlaughatitnow, butitwasreallyjustwatch.
Solisten, I know a lotofpeoplearelosingtheirjobsallacrossthecountry, and I can't, like, helpeverybody.
Obviously, I amnotactually, Ellen, I don't havethatkindofmoney, but I canhelpher.
Thegirlthatwe'retalkingtoher.
Shedoesn't have a jobtogoafterthis, SoButisthatweird?
I don't know.
I mean, whywouldthatbeweird?
Helpinganyoneeverisnotweird.
I justdon't wantittolooklike I'm tryingto, like, look, goodperson.
I just I doneedtodosomething.
Now.
I feellike I feellike I feellike I shouldgobackin.
AndDoctor, I mean, that's everything.
I wanttobeyoursister.
Oh, myGod.
Allright.
Okay.
I'm gonnagotalktomyGod, I'm nervous.
Okay.
Okay.
Sotheplanisinmotion.
All I havetodoisgointhatstoreandsomehowofferthisgirl.
Tendtowhat?
Mrquitherjob, right?
I knowitsoundscrazy, butinthemoment I thought I wasEllen, Doyouwantthisannex?
Yes.
No.
Now, I betyou'rethinking.
Howareyougonnadothat?
Shaneisn't herboss.
Skinis.
Findout.
Whatarepeoplegoingtosay?
Whatisthis?
I wentintothenotesonmyphoneand I wrote a notethatsaid, If I giveyou $10,000 wouldyouquitthisjobandcometo a videowithustonightwherewecansurpriseyoursister?
That's a reallythingthatwrotethat I wasgoingtoshow a person.
Now, justimagineyou'reworkingatToys R Us, Yourtiredfeet, herBratzdollseverywhere, andsobig, creepymancomesuptoyouandshowsyouthatWell, I wasn't thinkingaboutthat.
So I wentintothestoreand I wastryingtofindherandthatshewasconstantlywalkingawayfromme.
But I thoughtshewasjusttryingto, youknow, like a fan.
I don't care, Shaneandoh, justactingcoolaboutit.
Inretrospect, I realizeshewasrunningawayfrommebecause I lookedcrazy.
Okay, we'reinstore, and I'vebeentryingtoget a holdofher, butshe's alwaysnexttowhatmanagersstop.
Nowit's a struggle.
Hereisthisgirl.
Howdo I findher?
Howdo I changeherlife?
Comeout, girl.
Sothen I decidedtoemailherbecauseearlier I gother e mailandtheemailsaidHi.
I'm inthestoretryingLinden.
Thistheywouldthrowherinlike a psychwardlikethisiscrazy.
Okay, I'm inthestoretryingtofindyouso I canaskyousomething.
Bediscreet.
Areyoustillhere?
Rightback, rightaway.
Butshewalksoutofthebackand I'm like, Theresheis.
Thisismymoment.
Letmegetoutmynotes.
Now, I don't thinkyoufilmedthispartrightjust a littlebit.
I didn't reallygetit.
I don't wanttomakeitworse.
We'llsummarize.
I showedherthenote, andasshewasreadingthenote, I realizedhowfuckingcrazyandstupidthiswasandhowactuallyoffensiveitwasformetodothis.
I thoughtshewasgonnacry, Butthenshejustgoes, Wait, Whatisthis?
Really?
Whatisthis?
Areyouserious?
I'm confusedsothat I explaintohermyidea.
Okay.
Youknow, I'm gonnagiveyouthemoney.
You'regonnaquit.
Yourjobwillburnyouruniformon.
We'llgosurpriseyoursisterand I don't know, giveher a JoanJettmicrophone.
Thenshegoesontosay, Oh, mysisterdoesn't wanttobein a video.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, forgetthesister.
Justyou, I guess.
Andshegoes, Whatwouldthatbe?
I gotquiet, andthat's whenitallhitme.
Wasthis a stupididea?
Butshedoesn't evenreallywanttodoit.
Butit's toolate, because I'vealreadyshownherthenoteand I offeredher $10,000.
So I makethebest, andshesaid, Okay, canyougiveme a coupledaystothinkaboutit?
And I saidsowewentbackhome, hadnofuckingideawhattodo, because I setouttodo a funvideoofusstayingthenightatToys R Us.
All I haveis a bunchoffootageofmeandRylandbeinggayandtoysArrestonlyspot.
I'm sorry, butthenthenextmorningOh, I gotanemail.
Toys R usjustgaveustheclosinggatealready.
Andit's notthatfaraway, so I'llprobablyjustwaititout.
Sonow I have I havenothingonandshe's notquittingherjob.
Doesn't evenreallywanttodothisvideo.
Butnow I feellike I shouldgivehermoneybecause I feelweird.
I actuallyhaven't giveher $10,000 0 myGod!
Oh, myGod!
Fuck!
See, kids.
Oh, myGod.
Well, shedidn't actuallyquitherjob.
That's true.
I do.
I havetoclarifywithherandsayAllright, sobecausewiththecontractsaidif I gaveyou $10,000 wouldyouquitthisjobandcometo a videowithustonightwithyoursisterquitting?