Please welcome Joe Wilkinson.

Are you here for Rob?

Things?

Sort of Dracula have gone for it this year.

Jimmy.

I think anyone can wear a Christmas jumper.

No offense when you know the same nice jumpers about, but not as nice as this.

It's a reindeer called Adam and this Jumper's called Adam and the endless Think Christmas.

Ah, really nice fire hazard.

You press this button, he'll say.

John phrases.

Oh, like what?

Rachel, You must get recognized by fans all the time.

You ever wish you could still fly under the radar?

And my favorite time of the year is when I just get to go skiing and you have got do your hair and makeup, you have gotta have all that awkwardness.

Just put a helmet on.

But it's new dawn.

No makeup.

It's great.

And actually, I brought my skiing stuff with actually, if I just met you because I'm pretty sure I would recognize you in skiing gear.

So I've got a beard on Viking horns, and this is kind of my look so much more comfortable on.

It's warm.

And, um, you just don't have to have that awkward social.

Is that you?

Is it?

No House house, Jimmy, That's a challenging wank.

Sorry.

It feels like your shirt's sticking out.

Is there an issue with it?

Is Okay.

Well, it actually it's my lucky mascot.

Your most.

What is your man, Scotsman?

Yeah, well, you know, like, you know, when you go on, do you watch football or rugby at a sports bar?

Well, I thought let's bring that closer to home.

So I've brought a sports bra.

You say?

You know, you've got Jogger's nipple.

What about jokers?

Tipp poll?

Baileys Jesus.

We were hoping for Oh, I wait, e I think your tits broke.

I'll try the out for one.

But you know what?

You know what?

You were slagging me off earlier, was slowly going down.

You look like a baby.

Give me.

This is You're right.

Yeah, I'm fine.

What about?

Just ask him.

What have you been up to?

Uh, well, it's been a busy week, you know, because she, uh, find me because you're a turd to make a few extra bit of cash.

They've been doing a few medical experience on this.

I've got quite lucky.

Couldn't really had any side effects.

No side effects.

Just far as I can tell, you've got a massive leg, hugely elongated arm and on your forehead on the floor.

First things first.

I don't associate leprechauns, but Christmas.

Why you dressed like that thing?

Just several knows leprechauns are quite offensive to a lot of Irish people because they represent stereotypes.

You gonna You're saying this while wearing that it was like a top house.

Then that might work was a pure red hot idea known.

There's a subtle difference between the different, slightly magical creatures going on here Well and good.

But just tell us where your gold, John and rushing You go first for his your script.

I want to do a scene from when Harry met Sally.

Okay, but to make it a bit more of a challenge, I'd like you to play Sally.

John, I think this part of the show was this issue.

John in a wig.

She is so weak.

My performance.

My Now, that's what I'm yellow and you're not yellow.

That's how the professionals Daniel Day Lewis ago.

I'm yellow highlighted line.

I've never seen the film.

Where is it?

Set?

Newcastle, New York.

You know what?

I'm so glad I never got involved with you.

Are you gonna so upset?

What's the dog from the Magic Roundabout?

Why you getting so upset?

It's not about you.

Yes, it is.

You are a human affront to all women, and I am a woman.

I don't feel great about this, but I don't hear anyone complaining.

Go out the door too fast.

I think they have an okay time.

I think your mustache is upside down.

How do you know that?

They really what do you say?

That they fake an orgasm?

It's possible.

You don't think I could tell the difference?

No.

Get out of here.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Right there.

Shove it right up.

I've gone off script a bit.

The whole ham working door to door salesman, Johnny.

Yeah, I did.

Obey.

Did three nights.

Three nights?

What?

What did you sell?

When lots of people bought the council offices, I went door to door and often to service the older gas so we would come in and put on the £25 would service every device and that would cover you for the year.

So your initial call out charge would be covered under that 25.

I didn't know what you were gonna ask me about that inferno wearing this ridiculous back in.

Sure.

Naked women on it.

I'm not like flying helicoptered in.

Bob Thief was a woman by the book Colonel with the legs of Kimber.

Wait.

Just going door to door.

Let's move on.

That was a bit quiet.

I'll stand by my point.

Oh, men do it.

They're in denial there, girl the wardrobes and just put a T shirt on the way.

I never felt embarrassed by what was wearing by Johnny.

She she playing with wants to think about Luke.

Must Theo?

Yeah, sure.

This time, Booth, you're gonna be doing a scene from diamonds are forever, Shawn.

You'll be playing James Bond.

Of course on Stephen, you'll be playing the bond Girl.

There's some scripts and some props for you brought with you.

Okay, so with a scene from diamonds are forever.

Take it away.

Hi.

I'm plenty.

Of course you are.

Plenty to your father, perhaps.

Would you like some help on the craps?

I mean, That's very kind of you.

I'll take on the full odds on the 10 and 200 on the hard way.

Say you played this game before.

What accent?

My doing.

You played this game?

I went to Radha.

Say, just once you handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts.

You know something?

You're terrific guy.

A little weird, but a terrific guy saying, Why don't we go someplace and have a drink?

A drink that, like it was me all along.

Okay, Before we go on, he doesn't work here anymore.

But he's agreed to inject some glamour into proceedings.

Please welcome Joe Wilkinson.

Hello, Joe.

What's what's going on?

My, uh, maybe, um, what about avoid Wake?

Basically, what happened was found a magic lantern.

Gave it a rub.

The genie popped out.

Turned out to be a nice fella.

Way got chatted and I explained that you'd fought because, Your Highness sorry offered me a job.

So I'm a part time, Janey.

I just do cheesy and seriously afternoons catching herself.

What's it like being a genie?

Just fucking boring.

Just sit in a lantern all day.

Just whiting.

Luckily, they've got sky.

You're a taped way came out your belly.

One thing about can I ask my Fabio?

Looks like that.

It's got a head of a little because that's what you wish for.

He's a fucking idiot.

Oh, it was a card from Joe Wilkinson.

I'm pretty sure it's from Joe.

Dear Jimmy, I have a new job now so you can stick Countdown up your ass.

NASA have sent me to a new planet as part of an intergalactic exchange program.

And in return, they have sent an alien in my place.

So he's gonna be on the show instead of May.

If you have a problem with that tough shit.

Joe Wilkinson.

Right.

So I guess please welcome the alien we've swapped for Joe Wilkinson.

You're an alien from another planet.

You will.

Probably just You look a lot like Yeah, I've heard of it.

The verbal A pretty similar and main differences on our planet.

We were Berries.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You have countdown on your planet?

Uh, yes.

No shy as if.

Oh, Oh!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.