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  • I'm sorry.

  • It looks like a dog.

  • It's a cow.

  • Do I just take these off or just fold them under all of this?

  • You cannot say that either.

  • Right.

  • Go on then.

  • OK.

  • Brexit...

  • the absolute State of the Union.

  • Robert, the Conservative and Unionist party

  • has been in charge of the British government

  • now since 2010.

  • But Boris Johnson...

  • It's a completely new government.

  • ...this Conservative and Unionist prime minister...

  • Totally unrelated.

  • ...may go down in history...

  • or not...

  • as the prime minister who presided over the United

  • Kingdom actually falling apart.

  • So I thought we should discuss this.

  • Because it's not unserious.

  • It is one of the ironies of the Brexit process

  • that a plan designed to make Britain

  • stronger and freer in the world could actually end Britain.

  • So it's a big issue.

  • While you're chatting, I'm just going

  • to use my famous map-making skills here

  • to do England and Scotland.

  • A bit like a tree, but you know.

  • As we've established, I'm not really in a position

  • to criticise.

  • OK.

  • Some people didn't like my fish last time.

  • People were rude about the fish.

  • They're just wrong.

  • They're just wrong.

  • It completely shattered my confidence.

  • So I've not put any borders in right now, because that's

  • what we're discussing.

  • So at the moment, we have...

  • hang on a minute.

  • We've got the Republic of Ireland, we've got the UK,

  • encompassing Northern Ireland as well,

  • but we've got some very, very, very unhappy Scots,

  • and we've got the Welsh quietly getting on with it because they

  • also voted pro-Brexit.

  • Quite a lot of angry English.

  • Quite a lot of angry English.

  • And then, of course, we've got Ireland staying in the EU.

  • So the Republic of Ireland stays in the EU.

  • Scotland is very unhappy because it wants to stay in the EU

  • and is getting a further boost to Scottish nationalism

  • and to the separatist movement.

  • And then we've got a lot of really uneasy outcomes

  • to the Brexit process so far, in terms

  • of how far Northern Ireland remains both in the UK

  • and in various European arrangements.

  • So I literally, at this point, don't

  • know where to put my European flag,

  • other than not on the British mainland.

  • We could put it in Northern Ireland

  • and pretend we'd come up with the Northern Ireland

  • flag, which we didn't do.

  • Don't write in.

  • No, do write in, but only if you're going to...

  • Yes, but to Miranda.

  • So the whole thing is sort of up for grabs because of the Brexit

  • process.

  • The most dramatic in recent days has

  • been huge changes in the Republic of Ireland,

  • where Sinn Fein, the Irish nationalist party,

  • have done incredibly well.

  • They could end up in government.

  • ...in the elections there and could end up in government.

  • And they are talking about pushing

  • the idea of referendums, both in the Republic of Ireland

  • and in Northern Ireland, for reunification of Ireland.

  • This is back on the agenda in a way

  • that it hasn't been for a long time.

  • It is, although there are two points that we have to know.

  • One is that it is absolutely for the British government

  • to decide whether this poll takes place,

  • for the UK government.

  • It has an absolute veto on whether that happens.

  • In the north.

  • In the north, yes.

  • Which therefore means it's of no use

  • if you don't have that poll in the north.

  • Secondly, although completely Sinn Fein are a nationalist

  • party, it wasn't a wave of nationalist sentiment...

  • No, that's true.

  • ...that got them to their success in the Irish election.

  • It was much more to do with the state of the Irish economy

  • and anger with the two established parties.

  • So it will be interesting to see how they push this line.

  • Even if they're in coalition talks, et cetera,

  • will they make this some sort of red line,

  • or will they make a lot of noise about it?

  • They have to.

  • Mary Lou McDonald's talked about having one

  • within about five years, hasn't she?

  • She said she wants one.

  • Well, during the last few days of the Irish election

  • she was talking about having one very fast indeed,

  • within a year.

  • But they seem to have slightly rowed back on that.

  • So who knows?

  • And obviously, in coalition negotiations a lot of this

  • would...

  • Obviously, what's interesting is if they do give in to coalition

  • in the republic, which, as we said, is not a guarantee,

  • they will be in government in both sides of the Irish border,

  • which is quite something.

  • It really is quite something.

  • So the polling I was reading shows that in the republic

  • there is quite a healthy majority in favour of holding

  • these referendums in both parts of the island.

  • It's 57 per cent in favour of actually consulting the people

  • in both areas.

  • But as you say, the UK government

  • decides whether that would go ahead in the north because

  • of the Good Friday Agreement.

  • And that's there.

  • And in fact, Leo Varadkar - who's

  • had a terrible time in the last few days,

  • because, obviously, he's been in government in Dublin -

  • he has said that a referendum on unification

  • would be really dangerous at the moment.

  • It would make a bad situation worse

  • in the north, because it's really quite unresolved still

  • what happens to the economy in the north, what happens

  • to the status of people in the north who

  • were happy with the kind of equilibrium

  • after the Good Friday Agreement but are now

  • unhappy about Brexit.

  • The Good Friday Agreement and being

  • in the European Union, both Ireland and Britain,

  • essentially calmed the whole Northern Irish question

  • for quite a long time.

  • Apart from those who were most committed, for a lot of people,

  • this is OK.

  • We can live with this.

  • It's going to be very interesting to see

  • whether the terms, the special arrangements worked out

  • for Northern Ireland, are enough to keep people content.

  • As Dominic Rabb hilariously said,

  • they were a fantastic deal for Northern Ireland.

  • The ambiguity.

  • Exactly.

  • The half in, half out.

  • So it is possible that when the dust settles

  • people look at it all and think, well, not much has changed.

  • The issue, however, is going to be the border

  • checks going from Northern Ireland

  • to the British mainland.

  • OK, so what we should do is we should emphasise

  • that the Brexit withdrawal agreement has actually

  • inserted this, which is a sort of customs border,

  • in the Irish Sea.

  • A regulatory one, yeah.

  • A regulatory border.

  • Which Theresa May, when she was prime minister,

  • said no British prime minister would ever

  • agree to this sort of thing.

  • But it has been agreed to.

  • So it now makes the mainland UK different in its relationship

  • to the EU to Northern Ireland.

  • This is a huge deal.

  • It is.

  • It is.

  • I think we should build a bridge.

  • We should build a bridge.

  • Good idea.

  • Who else thinks that's a good idea?

  • The prime minister thinks it's a good idea.

  • So that's completely right.

  • The prime minister is still actually denying

  • there will be any change.

  • It's quite something.

  • He is still denying checks altogether.

  • We're going to have to see how this plays out.

  • But the Unionist vote in Northern Ireland

  • is now not a majority of the population.

  • Unionist parties at the general election

  • got 34 per cent, I think it was, of the vote.

  • They don't have a majority in the Stormont polling, which

  • had been recalibrated.

  • So the tide is against them.

  • The hand they played in the Brexit process

  • has not impressed anybody, including

  • in their own community.

  • It's a bit unfair to talk about the percentages

  • of the votes in the 2019 election

  • because there were electoral pacts which

  • confused and actually slightly probably depressed

  • the Sinn Fein vote.

  • It's up for grabs there.

  • Yeah.

  • Just a few months ago the DUP were still these huge players

  • in the Brexit negotiations because they

  • had been in coalition with the Conservatives propping them up

  • at Westminster.

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Now, it's a totally different picture.

  • And those hardline Unionists in Northern Ireland

  • have lost their influence.

  • Yeah.

  • The prime minister's approach, too, for Northern Ireland

  • is curious.

  • In the reshuffle is happening, indeed, as we're recording.

  • He has sacked the Northern Ireland secretary,

  • who secured the return of the Stormont parliament, who

  • finally got a deal within Northern Ireland that brought

  • the parties back together and working together

  • in devolved government, a man who's

  • been described one of the best Northern Ireland secretaries

  • for a while.

  • And Boris Johnson's just sacked him.

  • Well, that's what you get for competence these days

  • in modern politics though.

  • It is what you get for competence.

  • It counts for naught.

  • Which suggests that the well-being of Northern Ireland

  • is not top of Boris Johnson's agenda.

  • Although they would absolute deny it,

  • I've always believed there are very few people in government

  • who really, really would fight very hard for Northern Ireland.

  • Or even necessarily understand it that well.

  • But indeed...

  • who think long-term that its future lies with the republic.

  • Scotland, on the other hand...

  • Scotland.

  • Yeah, the Ireland issue is very live.

  • But we'll have to see how it plays out.

  • We need to organise these flags for the drone view.

  • Yes, OK.

  • So look, let's talk about Scotland.

  • You've put Scotland on the wrong side.

  • It's there.

  • It's that one.

  • Well, that's in the sea!

  • Oh, my goodness gracious.

  • It's in the sea!

  • So 2014 was the Indyref, as it's known.

  • We don't know when we might get Indyref 2, as it's

  • known in the jargon, right?

  • Nicola Sturgeon, first minister of Scotland,

  • has done incredibly well out of talking up

  • the pro-European, the Remain nature

  • of the Scottish electorate.

  • That plus the usual sorts of resentments against London

  • - now resentments against a Tory government in London

  • - this could really help her.

  • But it's a delicate balance, isn't it,

  • holding another referendum?

  • Because she doesn't want to hold another one that she loses,

  • right?

  • In the general election last year,

  • in which the Scotnats absolutely swept the board -

  • they got 80 per cent of the seats at Westminster -

  • they did it with around 45 per cent , 46 per cent of the vote,

  • again, which is roughly what the independence vote was.

  • It's roughly the same place.

  • It is worth saying that the parties that

  • supported independence did not win a majority of the vote

  • in the UK general election, even with Brexit.

  • Which is the SNP plus the Green party, which

  • is a separate entity north of the border, which

  • is very pro-independent.

  • And the Greens allow the SNP minority government

  • in the Scottish parliament to function

  • and would provide it with the votes for a second referendum.

  • Nevertheless, they don't yet have a majority for it.

  • And I think the British government's position

  • is very clear, which is to say we're not going

  • to have a second referendum.

  • And that position, I think, holds quite comfortably

  • until the Scottish parliamentary elections next year, in 2021.

  • It's possible.

  • There are people within the SNP who

  • are challenging this, saying, let's hold a referendum

  • without the British government's permission.

  • Joanna Cherry, who played a really interesting role

  • in the Brexit battles, who's clearly

  • quite a formidable legal brain, thinks

  • there is a way to do it legally.

  • But at the moment Nicola Sturgeon's

  • been pushing back on this.

  • But she really doesn't want to do that.

  • Because if you start going down that road

  • you potentially turn Scotland into a sort of Catalonia,

  • where holding referendums that are actually

  • not legally allowed has led to appalling brutality,

  • imprisonment.

  • It's lit a fire under the secessionist sentiment.

  • That's not the way that Nicola Sturgeon, the leader

  • of the SNP, wants to go.

  • But she's got this balancing act.

  • Because she's got fundamentalists

  • in her movement, and she's got people who think,

  • look, we run Scotland.

  • We will get there.

  • It's our destiny, but not now.

  • I don't think we're going to get to a place

  • where the British government is locking up

  • Scottish nationalists.

  • Though undoubtedly, Boris Johnson

  • must've flirted with this in his quieter moments.

  • He's probably written a column at some point - let's face it

  • - saying, let's imprison the SNP.

  • I think that the other issue with the Catalonia comparison

  • is that the key to a second referendum for Scotland

  • would be saying, we're going to break free and join

  • the European Union.

  • And what they don't want is a country like, say,

  • Spain vetoing their membership on the grounds of being

  • an illegal separatist movement and encouraging the Catalans.

  • I think that would be them.

  • But they want to stay in, right?

  • It's serious for Scotland.

  • Completely, yes.

  • They really want to stay in the EU.

  • And this is also not just to do with "we don't

  • want to be part of an exiled nation

  • along with the hated English."

  • This has to do with Scotland's economy.

  • Scotland has a serious demographic issue.

  • The population has been going down very fast.

  • And in terms of EU immigration it's

  • been very necessary in Scotland.

  • So the end of freedom of movement

  • is very bad, for example, north of the border.

  • And in general, Scotland voted quite heavily against Brexit.

  • Not everyone, right?

  • No, no.

  • So in recent opinion polls, we are seeing a majority - a very,

  • very narrow majority - for independence in Scotland-

  • 51 per cent, 52 per cent, that kind of thing.

  • The other reason why I think Nicola Sturgeon rightly

  • doesn't want to do this is that's not

  • a big enough majority going in.

  • No, quite.

  • As you say, you can't have Indyref 3.

  • So if you lose it this time, it's done.

  • And I think she would want to be more certain.

  • The logical thing for her to do, even

  • leaving aside the political problems that the SNP has,

  • which I'm sure we're going to come to,

  • is to spend the year stoking up the grievance,

  • finding every possible way you can

  • show that London is slighting Scotland,

  • build up that anger heading into the Scottish parliamentary

  • elections in 2021, get a majority

  • for the nationalist parties, and, on the back of that,

  • say we're doing it, and defy the British government to stop you

  • then, which means that the single best way to stop

  • a second Scottish referendum is to knock the SNP back

  • in those elections, which is a lot easier said than done.

  • So that's really hard because of the collapse of the Labour

  • party in Scotland.

  • So the SNP is in this incredible position.

  • They've got a lot of local difficulties.

  • Since they've been in government, which

  • is a long time now, they've got problems

  • with education standards, they've

  • got problems with the NHS, they've

  • got problems with the police service.

  • All of the normal ways in which you

  • would measure a government's competence and success,

  • there are issues with the SNP.

  • Plus they had the resignation last week

  • of their finance minister.

  • On the morning when he was supposed to deliver the budget.

  • For an inappropriate text with a 16-year-old.

  • You've got the looming trial of their former leader, Alex

  • Salmond, which we can't really discuss

  • under contempt of court rules.

  • But it's not going to be fun for the SNP, whatever happens.

  • They've got lots of political gremlins coming their way.

  • And yet their fundamental position

  • remains very strong, because they are essentially

  • the only important voice of nationalism in Scotland.

  • We've mentioned the Greens, but it's the SNP.

  • We know that over 40 per cent of Scots

  • support that, which means they have a bedrock of support which

  • is very large and quite close to being

  • able to give them a majority.

  • And I think your point is exactly right about Labour.

  • I think a Labour revival is the key to the SNP being stopped

  • in 2020.

  • Well, let's hope the Labour leadership candidates are

  • watching.

  • Because they have a responsibility

  • to keep the union together in that respect.

  • I hope we're not getting into unionist sentiment here.

  • Unionist sentiment?

  • No, never.

  • But what the SNP is able to do is

  • it's able to operate at the same time as a political party,

  • but also as a campaign.

  • What I find very interesting is the degree

  • to which the Conservative party has also managed,

  • in the last couple of years, or since Boris Johnson took over,

  • to be the Brexit campaign and a political party.

  • Obviously, we know, the Conservative party

  • is a kind of genius at reinventing

  • itself to adapt and survive.

  • But now that Boris Johnson wants nobody

  • to even mention the word Brexit anymore,

  • he's got to operate as a normal government.

  • And he's got to turn his attention to things

  • like keeping the UK together.

  • That is how he will be measured in the history books, right?

  • If Scotland breaks away it will be just more significant

  • than the Brexit.

  • And he will be judged as the man who lost the United Kingdom.

  • And he knows this.

  • And it worries him deeply.

  • And I think we're going to see quite a lot of effort

  • from the British government, from Boris Johnson,

  • to try and find ways to show Scots

  • that the union is still worth keeping.

  • I'm just adding to the bridge.

  • Because his ideas for keeping the union together

  • at the moment seem to extend to saying he's

  • going to build a huge bridge between Scotland and Northern

  • Ireland, which may or may not be a sensible idea.

  • One thing.

  • I think they want to show much more

  • effectively how much money Scotland

  • gets from being in the UK.

  • Right.

  • This is important.

  • But I think the really interesting thing to me

  • is that Boris Johnson, better than anybody else,

  • knows that the emotional argument of independence

  • and "take back control" is.

  • How powerful it is.

  • And saying to Scots, oh, but look at all the money.

  • Re-running Project Fear and being

  • on the other side of the Brexit argument,

  • as it were, is difficult. And it's the great irony

  • of any campaign that comes.

  • You would have Boris Johnson and all the Brexiters saying, oh,

  • don't break up the most successful political union

  • of modern times.

  • Don't cut yourself off from your largest market.

  • And you'll have Nicola Sturgeon -

  • the Brexit-hating Nicola Sturgeon - saying, no, come on.

  • Go for it.

  • Let us be free.

  • So it's a complete inversion.

  • And we know, at the moment, which one of these arguments

  • is seeming to be the most powerful.

  • So there's another issue which sort of rumbles

  • underneath these kind of immediate dramas, which

  • is the issue of England, and the fact that the UK is actually

  • quite imbalanced anyway.

  • Because England is this huge landmass.

  • There's a lot of GDP generated in London and the southeast.

  • And obviously, the UK parliament is based in London

  • at Westminster.

  • And so this has always created resentment elsewhere,

  • including in Wales.

  • We'll just stick the Welsh back on again for a second,

  • include them in the discussion.

  • There is also a kind of recognition in the Johnson

  • government that you've got to do something

  • about the other areas of England, which have felt left

  • out, left out from the enormous amount of prosperity

  • here in the southeast.

  • Does that help with this issue of keeping the union together?

  • I don't know.

  • When Alex Salmond was in charge of the SNP, I interviewed him.

  • And he was really sort of canny in talking about the fact

  • that the north of England was as angry with London

  • as the Scots were.

  • This also plays into the Johnson government's calculations

  • about what they do next.

  • It does.

  • And Nicola Sturgeon is at least as good as Alex Salmond was.

  • She's a really first-rate politician.

  • Yes, she's a very, very good operator.

  • Very good at this.

  • And one of the things she's done with the SNP,

  • and one of the reasons for its success, in my opinion,

  • is not only the lure of the nationalist argument,

  • but that they have occupied the progressive space in Scotland.

  • No longer the Tartan Tories.

  • Exactly.

  • Because they used to known as that.

  • Which they used to be seen as, yeah.

  • So they have taken that space from Labour, where,

  • if you are a progressive, socially concerned,

  • believe in social justice, the SNP is a comfortable party

  • for you at the moment.

  • And for younger voters, which is the future electoral...

  • So they have taken that space from Labour.

  • And that's been the problem.

  • The problem, in terms of the broader issues

  • is that Scotland is overwhelmingly

  • represented by Scottish nationalists in the UK

  • parliament.

  • And it accounts for nothing.

  • They're ignored completely by this government.

  • It doesn't want to deal with them.

  • And in truth, they don't want to deal with it either.

  • Well, it's 4 per cent of the total UK electorate, of course.

  • So yeah.

  • That's absolutely true.

  • Whereas, when the Labour party was in power,

  • and with the election of lots of Labour MPs in Scotland,

  • Scotland had a disproportionate clout.

  • And since that has eroded, as Labour took it for granted,

  • that's been one of the things that has fuelled the issue.

  • That's a really good point, actually, isn't it?

  • When Scots could look at the British parliament

  • or the British government and see

  • it was full of Scots arguing for their cause,

  • that carried some clout.

  • And they were still neglecting it very badly

  • and taking it for granted, but it made a difference.

  • That's a Labour rose wilting.

  • I'm not here to criticise.

  • I might just try, meanwhile.

  • So I think that's really hurt them.

  • But the focus on England is really interesting.

  • And the forces of English nationalism

  • are really interesting.

  • Because one of the things you see

  • when you write about Scotland and you talk about Scotland

  • is the batch of English people going,

  • well, I don't care if Scotland goes,

  • which seems, to us, shocking that people

  • could think so little.

  • But there is a constituency of English opinion

  • that doesn't care.

  • And Boris Johnson is pandering to that constituency

  • in other ways.

  • So the danger is that that just grows in confidence.

  • And I remember talking to somebody

  • during the first referendum, this first Indyref,

  • who rather mischievously said, well,

  • England do without Scotland.

  • The state of its economy - England could grow it back

  • in three years with economic growth.

  • So there is a degree of contempt that goes both ways.

  • And I think managing those forces is

  • going to be difficult. Because if Boris Johnson stops

  • throwing lots of money and love at Scotland

  • it may not go down well elsewhere, where

  • he's got to find money for that for England.

  • So that allows me to use my favourite word and to say that,

  • if Scotland leaves and Northern Ireland leaves,

  • England and Wales become Rump UK, that is, RUK.

  • Rump.

  • Rump UK.

  • It seems to me completely absurd.

  • It's a small set of islands off the coast of Europe.

  • And all these things may come to pass.

  • But the idea that it wouldn't matter is fanciful.

  • Of course.

  • It is ridiculous.

  • Even just economically, rather than

  • in terms of the impoverishment of our identity as Britons.

  • Yeah.

  • I think the risk of Scottish independence is very real,

  • but it's not a given.

  • It's not a fact.

  • And I know some Conservatives I was talking to last week, when

  • I was talking about the subject,.

  • were saying we don't know if we can stop a referendum.

  • But actually, we're not as gloomy

  • as you might imagine about it.

  • There are some very strong lobbies,

  • including the one that says, look

  • what's been going on in our country for three years

  • with Brexit.

  • Do you fancy three years of that in Scotland?

  • Do you fancy that degree of chaos?

  • And the nationalists are going to have

  • to answer some different questions, like,

  • what's the currency, which undid them last time.

  • If you join the EU, you have to commit to joining the euro.

  • That may not be a popular position among lots of us.

  • But the key to me is, it's the Unionist Remainers, the people

  • who voted Unionist last time, voted to stay with the UK,

  • but also wanted to remain in the European Union.

  • And those are the vulnerable target vote,

  • the people who thought that Scotland would have

  • a say and a voice, and, in fact, have

  • seen, on the most important issue of the day,

  • they've been ignored.

  • So it's a very, very powerful argument for the nationalists.

  • And if we get into this referendum

  • then the Unionists have got a real fight

  • on their hands, which is why the single best way to win

  • is to not get in it.

  • Which means avoiding the referendum.

  • To me, it means Labour choosing the right leader,

  • Labour then choosing a better leader in Scotland,

  • and showing to Scottish voters that they are a force to be

  • taken seriously again.

  • Well, there's only one Labour MP left in Scotland.

  • There's only one Labour MP.

  • That's correct.

  • And he's actually making a very good fist

  • of arguing that he should be deputy leader, I would argue,

  • at the moment.

  • But maybe he'll get a proper job.

  • I think he probably will.

  • Ian Murray.

  • Ian Murray.

  • They've also then got to get a better leader than Richard

  • Leonard in Scotland.

  • They don't have to do very much.

  • I mean, the Scottish parliament is quite,

  • you know, the SNP is two seats short of a majority.

  • The Greens have six MSPs, I think.

  • So you don't have to knock them back

  • very far to take away the majority for a referendum.

  • But the Tories did very well last time.

  • And you might wonder if they can do as well again,

  • certainly without their charismatic leader Ruth

  • Davidson.

  • But a Labour boost would make a real difference.

  • If I was the Dominic Cummings of Unionism,

  • I'd be working out how I could boost the Labour party

  • in Scotland.

  • Because I think that's the key for holding the union together.

  • So after our last video, somebody

  • wrote in, and very sweetly said, because you

  • drew some magnificent fish last time, Robert.

  • Do you remember your torpedo fish?

  • They were really rude about my fish.

  • They were very rude about my fish.

  • And I think we had some excellent feedback

  • about your fish.

  • So I'm going to draw them today.

  • OK.

  • So Earlofmar wrote: "What do the fish think?"

  • To which obviously, the answer is they're gutted.

  • Ah!

  • Oh, no.

  • Terrible.

  • So they're the confused fish, not knowing.

  • Is it a British fish?

  • Is it a European fish?

  • To be serious for a moment, again,

  • one of the things that one of the Unionist people I spoke

  • to last week said to me was, one of the fundamental issues

  • is going to be how we secure a deal on fish in the Brexit

  • negotiations.

  • And if the Scottish fishing federation is even close

  • to standing up and saying...

  • Oh, yes.

  • I'm going to do a Scottish fish, actually.

  • Because it's very, very, very important in Scotland,

  • the fishing industry.

  • What's the difference?

  • It's just up north.

  • Yeah.

  • OK, OK.

  • If the Scottish fishing federation stands up and says,

  • you sold out fish for London's financial services,

  • we're in real trouble.

  • And therefore, you have a situation

  • where the deal that is done for fishermen

  • is going to be disproportionately

  • important to the future of the UK,

  • even though the future of the fishing industry

  • is very unimportant to the British economy.

  • Though many will argue it's tremendously

  • important in cohesion in the local economies.

  • What the fish think, I don't know.

  • But people are certainly thinking about the fish.

  • OK.

  • I'm trying, and not very well, to draw an Irish cow over here.

  • OK.

  • Why are you doing that?

  • Because...

  • I prefer like this.

  • Because if we're worrying about what do the fish think,

  • I also want to know what the Irish cows think.

  • Well, it does say here: "How is this border down the Irish Sea

  • going to work?

  • It would seem to create lots of smuggling opportunities."

  • And you can see that's right.

  • It is a very, very good question.

  • Because look at our gaps in our border

  • where the smugglers will go through like that.

  • But also, there's this famous Ian Paisley

  • quote from years ago, which is: "Our people are British,

  • but our cows are Irish."

  • When Boris Johnson started quoting Ian Paisley saying

  • that, we thought that there might be something going

  • on in terms of compromise.

  • A Paisley cow.

  • Yes.

  • It's an Irish cow tended to by British farmers in Northern

  • Ireland.

  • That's point.

  • It does look like a dog.

  • I'm sorry.

  • It looks like a dog.

  • It's a cow.

  • It looks like a dog.

  • But so how does this actually work,

  • this different arrangement for Northern Ireland?

  • Because as you've said, even government ministers

  • have said potentially Northern Ireland gets quite a good deal

  • here, economically.

  • The key thing is the checks aren't going to take place

  • here, of course, not least because no one

  • wants to sit on that particular border.

  • But they're going to take place on the mainland in Northern

  • Ireland.

  • They're going to happen away from the border, away

  • from the areas of tension as much as possible.

  • There's going to be lots of certification.

  • Because of the peace process and wanting to keep the peace

  • process intact.

  • Because in the past anything that looked like a border,

  • that looked like a checkpoint became a terrorist target.

  • And that was a serious issue.

  • But the issue is going to be things going from Britain

  • to Northern Ireland.

  • That's going to be the fundamental area, where there's

  • an awful lot to be pinned down.

  • The European Union is incredibly serious about the sanctity

  • of the single market.

  • And it isn't going to let the British government get away

  • with ignoring this.

  • Let's put our European flag by that,

  • just to make it absolutely clear.

  • Although they talked in terms of not

  • wanting to be bloody about this and wanting

  • to find ways to de-escalate this issue

  • and take the emotion out of it, there

  • are going to have to be checks, assuming

  • this backstop comes in, which I think we all think it will.

  • Frontstop or whatever we call it now.

  • So they're going to happen at factory level.

  • There's going to be a lot more paperwork.

  • I think the clear hope is to get something

  • like trusted trader schemes, where it's all accepted.

  • But the issue is going to be, what if you're sending things

  • to Northern Ireland, some of which is for the north and some

  • of which isn't?

  • So it's got a lot of work to be done on it, I think is fair.

  • OK.

  • Well, I'm going to finish, then, by drawing a lot of red tape,

  • I think.

  • I quite like this question.

  • What's that?

  • "How do you think Brexit will be taught

  • in the future curriculum?

  • Will it be taught like Suez?"

  • Thank you, Drake Rose.

  • Drake Rose.

  • Let's hope not, I think, is the only answer.

  • Well that would be very negative.

  • I think that we really have yet to know,

  • because we don't know how the EU might start to change

  • over the next few years.

  • It may be that Brexit is a chapter in a much more

  • complicated story about Europe.

  • I also, as you've already said Robert,

  • think that, if what happens is that the United Kingdom starts

  • to break up, that's a much more dramatic historical moment.

  • And Brexit becomes a factor - probably the factor.

  • I studied history as part of my degree.

  • And all the way through, one of the things

  • I used to remember looking at was

  • the history books, and these little paragraphs,

  • particularly when you did GCSE.

  • Here's a paragraph on the lead-up to the First World War,

  • and here's a paragraph on the Great Reform Act.

  • And you think, God, I hope there aren't that many paragraphs

  • about the time I'm living in.

  • And up until a few years ago, there

  • weren't going to be that many paragraphs

  • about the period we live in.

  • Now, there are.

  • What's the old line?

  • Happy the land that doesn't need heroes.

  • Yes.

  • Well, the Chinese curse of living in interesting times

  • certainly applies.

  • So look, I'm just going to do this as a final gesture.

  • I'm just going to draw a lot of red tape everywhere.

  • Because it seems to me the one thing that we have found out

  • in the last few weeks is there is going to be the F-word.

  • Friction.

  • Friction.

  • And it ain't going to be easy.

  • No.

  • And once you accept some friction at the border,

  • a lot of the rest of it becomes easier for the government

  • to decide on.

  • Because once you accept that there's

  • going to be regulatory checks, there's

  • going to be delays at the border, however efficient it

  • is, you're going to have to hire more customs officers,

  • build more customs posts, and all that kind of stuff.

  • And so once you accept what's going to happen,

  • then your path is largely set.

  • The only thing to be said, of course,

  • is that part of this government's strategy is

  • to talk as tough as possible at this part of the negotiation

  • process...

  • Yeah, it's not over.

  • ...so that it's taken seriously.

  • The European Union has seen that movie before, and coped..

  • And we shall see what happens.

  • But the truth is, how this goes is crucial to how this goes.

  • Absolutely.

  • Well, all I can say is, it's a mess.

  • And I'm not just talking about our piece of paper.

I'm sorry.

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