Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • WE'RE BACK HERE-- YOU CAN KEEP TALKING AND-- HEY, EVERYBODY,

  • WE'RE HERE WITH THE LOVELY AND TALENTED JULIE LOUIS-DREYFUS.

  • JULIA.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: WHILE YOU WERE IN AUSTRIA, DID YOU GET TO VIENNA

  • AT ALL?

  • THAT'S A LOVELY TOWN.

  • >> OH, MY GOSH, SO GORGE-- OKAY, SO I WENT TO THIS-- I'M GOING TO

  • BUTCHER THE NAME.

  • HAVE YOU BEEN TO I HAVE 18A.

  • >> Stephen: I HAVE.

  • >> YOU KNOW THE MAIN MUSEUM.

  • >> Stephen: YEAH, THAT ONE.

  • YOU DRINK ENOUGH BEER OVER THERE AND YOU CAN SAY THAT.

  • >> SO WE WENT THERE ANDY WOO GOT A LOVELY TOUR-- IF YOU EVER GET

  • A CHANCE TO GO TO THIS PARTICULAR MUSEUM, YOU MUST GRAB

  • IT.

  • >> Stephen: EVERYTHING IS SO GRAND OVER THERE.

  • >> OH, MY GOD!

  • AND THE COLLECTION IS MIND BLOWING.

  • >> Stephen: I LIKE TO SAY IT'S AS IF ROME FELL BUT NEVER

  • BURNED.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • >> Stephen: EVERYTHING IS IMPERIAL BUT NOT DESTROYED.

  • IT JUST NO LONGER HAS ANY POLITICAL POWER BEHIND IT.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • THIS GUY-- THIS WONDERFUL GENTLEMAN WAS TAKING US AROUND

  • AND HE TOLD THUS AMAZING STORY.

  • PRIOR TO OUR VISIT, VLADIMIR PUTIN HAD COME, AND THEY HAD

  • GIVEN HIM A PRIVATE TOUR.

  • HMMM...

  • >> Stephen: YES, YES, OKAY.

  • >> NOW, SHITELL YOU THAT ALL OVER THE MUSEUM, THEY HAVE THESE

  • GORGEOUS URNS FILLED WITH ORCHIDS AND LILIES AND ALL SORTS

  • OF-- AND IT'S VERY, VERY, YOU KNOW, VIENNESE LOOKING, OPULENT

  • AND GORGEOUS.

  • TURNS OUT VLADIMIR PUTIN DOESN'T LIKE FLOWERS OR THE SMELL OF

  • FLOWERS, SO THEY ALL HAD TO BE REMOVED FROM THE MUSEUM, OKAY.

  • THEN GET A LOAD OF THIS.

  • THEY-- THEY TOLD US THAT VLADIMIR PUTIN TRAVELS WITH HIS

  • OWN BATHROOM.

  • THAT THEY HAD TO SET UP OUTSIDE THE MUSEUM RIGHT IN FRONT SO

  • THAT IF HE NEEDED TO USE THE FACILITIES, HE HAD HIS OWN.

  • AND IT'S HIS VERY OWN PORTA POTTY THAT HE TRAVELS WITH ON

  • TE PLANE, AND HE USES IT ON THE PLANE, TOO.

  • >> Stephen: WOW!

  • >> LIKE, WE'RE ALL THAT INTERESTED IN HIS ( BLEEP ).

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • NO, BUT-- THAT'S COMPLETELY TRUE.

  • YEAH, CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.

  • THAT'S WHAT I CALL THAT.

  • ANYWAY, IT'S KIND OF FREAKAZOID.

  • IT FEELS LIKE DR. EVIL.

  • >> Stephen: I THINK IT DOESN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE IT.

  • I THINK IT IS DR. EVIL.

  • >> I THINK IT IS, YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: NOW, YOU PROBABLY KNOW BECAUSE I'VE SAID IT TO YOU

  • MANY TIMES HOW MUCH I LOVE "VEEP."

  • >> OH, YES.

  • >> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO A CONVERSATION WITH

  • "VEEP."

  • WE'VE ALL MOVED ON.

  • WOULD BE HARD TO DO THAT SHOW THIS DEEP INTO THE TRUMP

  • ADMINISTRATION BECAUSE THINGS ARE SO CRAZY IN REALITY.

  • >> ISRAEL, I MEAN, I-- YES.

  • I FEEL LIKE HE'S DOING A FAR SPEWERIOR VERSION OF OUR SHOW.

  • EXCEPT THAT IT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.

  • >> Stephen: RIGHT.

  • >> IT'S DEADLY SERIOUS.

  • >> Stephen: SURE.

  • IT'S LIKE IF YOUR SHOW HAD THE TONE OF CHERNOBYL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BOTH HBO, BOTH HBO.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • >> Stephen: BUT ONE IS JUST A STEAMING DISASTER.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

  • I MISS IT, TOO.

  • IT WAS JUST GOBS OF FUN.

  • GOOD TIMES.

  • >> Stephen: VALENTINE'S, VALENTINE'S OF COURSE BEING THIS

  • WEEKEND.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

  • >> AND TO YOU.

  • >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A VALENTINE OF YOUR OWN.

  • >> I DO.

  • >> Stephen: AND YOU POST OLD PHOTOS OF THE TWO OF YOU ON

  • VALENTINE'S.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: AND THIS IS LAST-- YOU YOU POSTED THIS LAST YEAR.

  • BUT THIS IS NOT OF LAST YEAR.

  • >> NO, IT'S NOT OF LAST YEAR.

  • >> Stephen: HOW MANY YEARS AGO IS THAT?

  • >> THAT IS 32 YEARS AGO.

  • OH!

  • AREN'T THEY CUTE?

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THEY ARE.

  • >> YEAH.

  • YUP.

  • >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU GUYS CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY?

  • DO YOU DO A TRADITIONAL DINNER?

  • >> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY.

  • I DON'T REALLY DIG IT.

  • IT'S SORT OF LIKE NEW YEAR'S.

  • IT'S LIKE, "YOU MUST HAVE FUN!

  • YOU MUST STAY UP TILL MIDNIGHT."

  • AND VALENTINE'S DAY, "YOU MUST BE ROMANTIC!

  • YOU MUST MAKE LOVE TO YOUR PARTNER."

  • AND I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW

  • WHAT I MEAN?

  • ( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.

  • SO I'M GOING TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM EVERY OTHER NIGHT EXCEPT

  • VALENTINE'S DAY.

  • >> Stephen: YES.

  • >> YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT?

  • >> Stephen: GOOD LUCK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) GOOD LUCK.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: TO ALL OF US.

  • I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO HERE

  • BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY PRECIOUS PRESENT HERE.

  • THIS IS-- I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SEE WHAT

  • THIS IS.

  • YOU BROUGHT ME A JAR OF...

  • MARMALADE.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: AND IT SAYS RIGHT HERE, "WINTER 2020."

  • VERY GOOD YEAR.

  • >> VERY.

  • >> Stephen: HAND PICKED, HAND MADE BY JULIA AND BRAD.

  • >> YES, WE MADE IT!

  • >> Stephen: YOU MADE THIS MARMALADE AND BROUGHT ME SOME.

  • >> YES!

  • FOM OUR OWN ORANGE TREE.

  • >> Stephen: WOW.

  • >> YES, AND YOU GAVE ME ORANGE PEEL.

  • SO IT'S LIKE -- >> Stephen: I GAVE YOU CANDIED

  • ORANGE RIND AND YOU GAVE ME MARMALADE.

  • THANK YOU.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: I HAVE NO JOKE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS OTHER THAN

  • THE FACT I TRULY LOVE MARMALADE.

  • >> I'M SO GLAD.

  • ENJOY IT ON YOUR TOAST.

  • JULIA, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

  • A DELIGHT.

  • >> SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.

  • WHAT A TREAT.

  • I LOVE IT.

  • I LOVE TO BE HERE.

  • I LOVE YA.

  • >> Stephen: IT ALL WORKED OUT FOR ME.

  • "DOWNHILL" IS IN THEATERS ON FRIDAY.

  • JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, EVERYBODY!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

WE'RE BACK HERE-- YOU CAN KEEP TALKING AND-- HEY, EVERYBODY,

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it