For those of you who are new here: hi, I’m Jessica. I started to lose my hearing at 15

and began wearing hearing aids at 18. I think my hearing loss is now classed as moderate-to-severe:

basically, without my hearing aids I live in a very pleasant underwater bubble with

cotton wool in my ears and with my hearing aids in I won’t get hit by a truck but I

also can’t tell what you’re saying. Mainly I rely on lipreading people

I talk about going through the process of losing my hearing a lot and I’m often asked

for advice on how to cope with it, I’m going to talk you through 6 key tips in this video

but first:

- How do you know if you have hearing loss or not?

Well, if someone has sent you this video… I think they’re trying to tell you something.

Maybe it’s time to get your hearing checked?

Other hints:

Do you turn the volume on the television up to a degree that everyone else in the room

yells at you for?

Do you stare blankly at your phone when someone

calls because supposedly it’s on but you’re not entirely sure if a voice is coming out

of it yet?

Do you find it impossible to follow conversations

when you’re in public?

Do you make people repeat things over and

over again until they get really snarky with you?

Do people in your life complain that you annoyingly don’t listen to them?

Do you say ‘what’

over and over and over and over and over again?

Well, if so, you probably have hearing loss!

...or an Auditory Processing Disorder or similar medical problem.

- or you really are just that self important that you believe you’ve got better things

to do than listen to unimportant people and their meaningless conversations.

In which case:

Take a breath and reassess.

I like to keep things fun and bubbly on my channel but it’s important we don’t shy

away from negative feelings as well and golly, you just clicked on a video about losing your

hearing so you’re probably experiencing some of these too! Losing your hearing can

be isolating, exhausting, scary, annoying and sometimes just make you feel really, really

angry! This is especially true when your hearing is going in your teens or adulthood. Most

support systems for deafness are there to help children- who have likely been born deaf,

don’t have a memory of being able to hear and have young, plasticy brains that are able

to learn sign language quite quickly- or elderly people, for whom hearing loss is culturally

expected and accepted.

If you’re in your late teens, as I was, it’s difficult to get help when adults find

it easy to read you as just being lazy and not paying attention. I can’t imagine how

hard it must be when YOU’RE the adult in charge of phoning the electricity company

or chatting with other parents at the PTA or starting out in your professional life

without the listening skills you’d assumed you’d have.

[internal panic]

- But don’t panic! We’re going to go through this together.

Tip number 6:

Connect with people who are

in a similar situation to you.

I am quite sure there will be many

in the comments beneath this video who are also losing or have lost their hearing. Have

a look at other people’s stories, reply to their comments, start a conversation.

Build your network of friends online.

- P.S. I’m setting up a Discord board where we can all chat, there will be a ‘so I’m

losing my hearing…’ thread.

Isolation is a really significant problem since hearing loss detaches people from interactions

with others. Maybe you live in a family of mumblers and you can’t even understand your

own parents anymore.

The world is built around human interaction and community and whilst it might feel like

deafness can take all of that away… the internet is a pretty leveling playing field

when it comes to communication. If you prefer meeting people in person then your doctor

or audiologist may be able to recommend a support group in your area.

Don’t freak out if they’re all two generations older than you. Age is just a number. You

can have friends with different but complimenting interests.

- Just don’t try to explain the ecosystem of the Kardashians. Clara tried that with

me our entire plane ride to Edinburgh and I’ve honestly never been so confused.

Also: talking to a therapist about your feelings of loss is a good thing. Change is scary.

Tip number 5:

You’re going to feel very vulnerable.

Plan ahead- know the exits and the buses. If you

find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe you take that Uber, screw the cost.

You’ll find you rely on your eyesight a lot, especially for safety, and the minute

you can’t see you’ll likely freak out. I can’t stand being in a club or a pub and

a light shining into my eyes. For the millisecond of blindness after the light hits I am completely

and utterly vulnerable and it shakes my core.

Try not to get into situations where you’ll need to rely on your hearing. That sounds

obvious but it can be as simple as just not walking alone in the dark

- which maybe you shouldn’t do anyway…? I don’t know what your area is like but…

stay safe, friends!

Many deaf people often feel extremely vulnerable in situations where sounds are relied on to

provide essential information: This can vary from roadside traffic, public announcements

in airports or train stations to the genuinely dangerous stuff like fire alarms.

Plan. ahead.

Make sure you have the best app on your phone to track the trains- something that updates

to the minute. You likely won’t be able to hear any changes that come on over the

tannoy. Freaking tannoy.

- Clara says I need to inform non-British people that a ‘tannoy’ is a loudspeaker.

If you’re getting coffee in the train station, make sure you’re sitting in view of the

board. Likewise in the airport.

Seems obvious but...

It doesn’t matter the degree of your hearing loss: if you cannot hear the announcement

clearly then you might as well not be able to hear it at all so you might as well start

acting like a deaf person and rely on just the visuals.

So face others when they’re speaking, their expressions and body language will put what

they’re saying in context. Make sure you can see a person’s face and lips when they

talk.

And in terms of things being kind of scary now you can’t hear so well: yes, for a lot

of deaf people, night-time can be terrifying: you can’t hear footsteps or fire alarms

or windows opening or…

- okay, now I’m scaring myself.

If you’re watching this as a parent who thinks their child is losing their hearing:

difficulty sleeping can actually be a sign as children will struggle to sleep when they

can’t hear their parents downstairs- they may worry that everyone has gone out and left

them alone in the house.

Bear in mind, nightlights are perfectly acceptable, no matter your age.

Tip number 4:

Pace yourself. Deafness can also be exhausting.

People with hearing loss are unable to look

down at their phones or newspaper and hear what somebody is saying like hearing people

take for granted. They have to concentrate on lip patterns to hold conversations, they

have to focus on a person’s facial expressions and grasp onto the little sound they can hear

and then try to make sense of it all.

This, plus living in constant fear of missing a crucial sound like a fire alarm, can be

mentally and physically draining.

Think about it this way: someone with all of their senses can rely, when crossing the

road, on their ears to be listening for background danger that their eyes cannot see as they

look left and right: the sound of a lorry approaching around the corner, the group of

kids standing behind you who are joking and jostling each other, the ambulance with a

blaring siren that’s a few streets away…

Now imagine trying to gather all of that information

using just sight…?

Tiring. Deep breaths. Pace yourself.

Tied into that: it’s important to know your limits. If you’re sick or tired, how well

you understand others may be worse than usual.

Tip number 3:

Consider technology:

look for a device that works for you.

A professional audiologist, an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor, or a hearing aid

specialist can help you find products. Your local council may even fund things like flashing

doorbells and fire alarms if you can get to the right department (their contact details

can usually be found through the aforementioned doctors but a good google search might help).

Hearing aids might feel like a big step but you can start small with just the inner ear

ones if your hearing loss isn’t particularly great.

To break the technology down:

Hearing aids make sound louder for you and can also be programmed to cut out certain

wavelengths. Depending on your hearin loss. They come in many shapes, colors, and sizes.

Some fit behind your ear, others directly into the ear canal.

FM systems are wireless assistive hearing devices that enhance the use of hearing aids

but can also be used by people who don’t wear hearing aids. The come in two parts:

a little microphone that can be clipped onto the clothes of a teacher or lecturer or…

whomever you’re particularly trying to listen to at that point (possibly even just your

date in a restaurant). The second part is on the person with hearing loss, either working

with a hearing aid or something similar to headphones. The sound beams wirelessly through

to you from the microphone.

It's like a one-to-one system.

They enable sound to be picked up closer to the speaker rather than a microphone that

is on the deaf person so the sound can be much clearer and without background noise.

That’s why it works really well in a lecture or school style situation.

And finally (but in no way exhaustive) a list of other things that can be helpful:

Alerting devices: you can get a little pager that connects to a doorbell, phone and alarm-

and even a baby monitor!- with a blinking light and a vibration whenever one of those

things makes a noise.

There are also personal amplifiers, infrared headsets and telephones that will display

a conversation on a screen.

- That seems like a lot of information, doesn’t it?

Technology to help hearing loss does take a lot of getting used to but they honestly…

do help. You’re scared once you start to use them, it feels like they might get in

the way of a free flowing conversation but actually once you get over that hurdle they

honestly do improve your interactions with other people.

Plus… studies show that people who don’t get help with their hearing loss are more

likely to suffer with depression and anxiety.

Apparently there is also a link between untreated hearing loss and dementia but-

- I am offering you this information as an ‘oh isn’t that interesting’ not a ‘wow,

something new to freak out about’ so take some deep breaths.

If you think there is even the slightest chance that hearing aids could boost your confidence

then go for it.

Side note: I’m often asked ‘but what if my parents aren’t willing to help me get

medical treatment?’

To which I say… “honey. That’s a form of child abuse.”

Now, I’m sure they are reasonable people who don’t want to be accused of such so

maybe show them this video and then have a chat.

Hi.

Tip number 2:

Learn to lipread. I know, sounds very difficult. I did make a video about this, you’ll find

it in my deafness playlist which will be in a card above.

A lot of people suggest throwing yourself in at the deep end when it comes to learning

lipreading- watch YouTube videos on mute without captions, only socialise with people who don’t

vocalise- but, honestly, you’re already losing your hearing… your daily life is

now ‘being thrown in at the deep end’. If you find you’ve started to rely on captions

to understand videos-

- like this one.

[Mouth pattern: Hello]

Then turn them off, get close to the screen and try to pay attention to my lips. Leave

the sound on if that’s helping you and only turn it off once you’ve gained confidence

in lipreading. If there is a video or a film that you love watching then watch it over

and over again, paying close attention to the lip patterning and since you’re already

familiar with the dialogue you’re more like to pick things up.

It’s also really helpful to repeat information back. Lots of things sound alike- especially

when your hearing isn’t great- but they actually feel very different to say. Knowing

how your own mouth moves will help you recognise similar movements in others.

Repeating what someone has said also helps make sure you’ve actually got it right!

The other person will correct you if you’re mis repeating.

You should also encourage people to write things down!

Tip number 1:

Be clear with the people around you about

how they can best help your transition to

not being able to fully hear what is going

on around you.

Just saying “I’m hard of hearing” is a good start but it doesn’t tell the person

how they can then make themselves understood so do follow it up.