J: Welcome to reacting to our teenage photos.

J: It's a follow-up to reacting to our childhood photos.

C: You know what? I don't know if there's enough teenage photos of me.

C: It's like they're all packed away hidden in the deepest, darkest corners of the attic.

J: Yeah, I should probably also mention that

the latter part of my teenager years, I was really, really thin

and then I destroyed all the evidence of that.

C: Mine are mainly like cute childhood pictures because they're like albums that my mum made and it's like,

C: 'Aww, how cute you were.' J: There's no awkward stage?

C: No, no. I definitely had an awkward stage.

J: So, hi. If you don't know, I'm Jessica; this is Claudia.

J: We're married. If you enjoy awesome lesbians, you should subscribe, because

lesbians are awesome.

C: And we like to class ourselves as that, clearly.

J: Awesome lesbians. Who doesn't wanna class themselves as an awesome lesbian?

J: So we're classifying "teenage" as twelve or thirteen?

J: Because I feel like at twelve you start doing teenage things.

J: I'm gonna start with...

J: what I looked like when I was

J: This is when I was twelve. C: Aww. That's quite sweet.

J: Here I am with my daddy, dancing.

J: Er, and as you can see, I had very long, blonde hair back in the day.

C: Yeah, it is long. J: Yes, I actually had blonde hair.

J: I still do.

J: It's from a box. C: You look pretty sleepy in that picture.

J: I look sleepy?

C: Are you sleepy or...is that just your eyes?

J: I mean...they're not huge now.

C: Maybe you were sleepy. It is night-time, look. J: It is night-time.

J: This I think is Christmas at my grandparents.

J: My family love a good boogie.

J: OK, show me your youngest from your pile.

[Cheery music]

C: My sister's kind of portrayed in this one worse than I am, but...

C: That's me in the middle with the sunglasses on.

C: Oakleys, in fact. J: Oh, hello!

C: I think she had just got sand blown into her eyes.

C: So, yeah. J: You look cool--I mean, what's this quiff?

J: It looks like you have some kind of cool 1950s quiff, though.

J: That's pretty--pretty fancy. Pretty fancy.

C: I love those Oakleys sunglasses. I remember I had to save up for them myself.

J: Aw. C: They were like dark brown

C: and they were like two-hundred pounds.

C: And in like those days-- J: How old were you?!

C: Twelve/thirteen.

C: So I basically saved up all my birthday and Christmas money.

C: My dad would be like, "Oh, you can wash the car for a fiver" kind of thing and I just saved up.

C: But! You know what? I still have those glasses

because they're obviously really well-made.

J: I think when I was that age, if I found a fiver I would take it to the bank

and make the bank put it in my account.

J: Like, 'Sir, please!'

J: My next one is in the phase where I decided I was gonna be cool.

C: How easy life would be.

J: Cool like other people.

J: This is the early noughties, clearly. I'm wearing double denim.

C: Yeah...

J: Yeah. Yeah.

J: I'm also wearing jeans! Are you shocked? C: To be fair, I wore double denim the other night.

J: Yes, but you actually looked good!

J: That's my little cousin. C: He's like much cooler than you right there.

J: He knows he is. C: Yeah, he's like...

J: He's like, 'I'm not in double denim, so my life's going well so far.'

J: This was like a skater phase.

C: Right. J: Because everyone in my school was a skater.

J: I think I hero-worshiped Avril Lavigne C: You are wearing jeans

J: at this point. I know!

C: You've got a little bit of bling - there's some gold buttons.

C: A little gold bit on your jeans there.

C: Like, you know, you're still trying to keep it girly.

J: Also, it had these big shiny buttons on. C: Yeah, that's what I just noticed.

J: Yeah, so...yeah.

J: It was as much me as I could make it.

C: Moving on to my next bling accessories.

C: Great grimace here from me.

C: This is when everyone wanted straight hair.

I wore like bangles and earrings.

J: The most pressing question is:

what happened to your head?

J: What has happened to the shape of your head, Claudia Fozard?

C: That is--I've got a lot of hair!

C: Because I've had it chemically straightened there,

but I've got so much of it, I've still somehow got body.

J: It's like there's none of it left at the bottom!

Because that's where it's straight and then obviously where it's growing out the top of my head,

I've still got some body, kind of.

J: It's like, 'Damn you, no; I will be curly.'

C: Yep. J: Aww. It tried.

J: It tried so hard. C: I remember when I dressed like that, though, I felt quite comfortable with myself.

C: 'Cause I was like, OK, like I was wearing combats; I was wearing little tank tops. I was like--

C: The girly, like, All Saints and stuff like that J: Yes!

C: were fashionable, but they weren't trying to be a gay identity figure or anything like that.

J: Girls in like tomboy-- C: "Comboy."

J: "Comboy." Combat. I was trying to get like combat trousers and tomboy-- C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: That period suited me just fine.

J: And then that got taken away from you. C: Yeah.

J: OK!

J: My next one is the awkward phase.

J: OK? C: Oh, OK.

J: It's not--it's not great.

J: I don't even know what this outfit is.

I just know that the front panel zipped entirely off

and I once wore it to a party and a girl came up

and took either side of the zips and just went [imitates zips being pulled down]

C: Oh, my God. J: I was not--I'm getting hot now thinking about it.

J: I was not wearing much underneath, and by "much" I mean a bra.

J: No, I was wearing pants! I just wasn't wearing a bra.

C: Oh, you weren't wearing a bra?

J: No, and then she zipped the front panel of my dress off so it became a coat!

C: There were lots of like zipped up clothing. J: Yes!

C: Like, it was really weird!

J: And I think my hair's meant to just be like stylish

J: or something?

C: Yeah, to be fair, it would've been very tempting to unzip that.

C: And also, you don't even have enough material to CLOSE the coat.

C: It's just like...boob! J: No!

J: No, that's the thing!

J: So if someone takes the front panel, you're just like "Ummm..."

J: I tried, Lord. I tried.

C: I played golf.

C: I started learning when I was twelve

with my mum and her friend.

C: They were like, 'We're gonna start playing golf so we can play with our husbands. Why not?'

C: And then they were like, "You come along with us" and I was like "OK!" and then I was naturally quite good at it.

J: Uh-huh. C: So, I liked it because I was good at it.

C: But it was bit boring because I had to just play with boys all the time.

C: Yeah, and they always put me with like the older boys because...

J: She was too good.

C: Anyway, that was that.

C: I still play golf sometimes.

J: We have a lot of clubs downstairs if you want to go and take them out.

C: No, I just don't have any golfing buddies (apart from my dad).

J: Awww.

J: Submit your résumé below to become Claudia's golfing buddy. Thanks.

C: I asked people at work and they were like, "No, it's boring." I was like, "Oh."

J: Aww!

J: But now you have badminton buddies C: Yeah.

J: at work, that's something. C: That is true, that is true.

J: This is when--I had always hated my straight hair, always,

J: and I like slept with it buns to try and make it curl - C: It's so funny, I hated my curly hair and wanted straight hair

C: and yeah. J: - and I thought the best way to get around that would be

J: to perm it.

J: That's my permed hair. C: That's a really bad perm.

C: It looks like you've just come out of the sea.

J: Thanks. C: You're like an Australian surfer, is more the look there.

J: Yeah...I was aiming for 1950s

and I got 'what the hell?' '70s.

C: You look nice, though! J: Aww, thank you!

C: You've got way more eyebrow there, have you drawn them on?

J: Yes.

J: For those who don't know, I don't have eyebrows.

J: This is a lie.

J: I don't think I'm wearing any other make-up.

J: Just--I just purely drew-on my eyebrows.

J: My next attempt at curling my hair,

I did get better at it.

C: Oh, yes. J: Just wanna show.

J: This is like--this is a year later.

J: I saw on a local message board

- by which I mean a literal notice board

that was made of cork and people pinned things to,

not the online version

- that someone was selling their mother's heated rollers

from the '50s and I was like, 'I've gotta get them!'

J: These things were no longer legal to be sold.

They're very dangerous.

J: So I would heat them up with this plug that occasionally sparked.

The little device itself got so hot it burnt a ring in my carpet.

C: Yeah, this is why they're not legal. J: This is why it's not legal.

J: And I'd put them in my hair and then I would sleep with them overnight.

C: Yeah.

J: And they were solid.

J: Like you wonder now how I sleep with foam rollers in.

J: These were solid blocks of wax in my head. C: Oh, God.

J: But I did it for the look.

J: I was dedicated.

C: And then you decided to pair it with those sunglasses.

J: They were the only sunglasses I had, OK?

C: I think this is probably next. I think I was trying to find a happy medium.

C: I don't know what I'm doing there. J: Is it..?

C: I'm wearing like-- J: Are those trou--are those...

J: ...shorts or a skirt? C: No, that's a skirt.

J: I see. C: But I'm having it slung around my hips to be cool.

J: Yes. C: I've got a leather slouchy bag,

C: rather than a handbag.

J: Is that an added belt?

C: But then I've got like a studded like grey t-shirt, which is quite like you know...

J: Butch? C: Yeah...

C: and then I've tied my hair up;

I'm not wearing any make-up.

C: Standing in quite a butch way.

C: And I've got the most-- J: Are you wearing men's flip-flops?

C: Yeah...

C: And like leather sandals, which were my favourite sandals. They were so comfy.

C: That's before Birkenstocks became big. J: What's with the bag as well?

C: That's a leather, like, satchel.

J: Uh-huh. C: Yeah...

C: So, yeah, yeah, sort of like trying to do my own thing there.

J: I get--I get where you were going. C: Yeah!

J: Sure. Sure.

J: My next photo involves your second favourite.

J: It's Walter! C: Aww.

[Applauding and cheering SFX] J: Aww, look at him!

J: Such a tiny puppy! C: He's so tiny!

C: Cuuute. J: Yeah, that is very first day actually that we had him!

C: Awww.

J: I know. C: We should definitely get another Bichon.

J: I [inaudible] Bichon.

J: I'd just like to point out as well,

those--I'm not like wearing weird wrist things as some kind of fashion statement -

I paralysed my arms

and my hands.

C: You've got a lot of body in your hair.

C: It's not really curly, but it's like...

J: I kind of just frizzled my hair using the heated...

the hot wax rollers.

J: Don't use hot wax rollers. Don't use heat in your hair.

J: That's my advice. C: Oh dear.

C: So this one is like I'm a bit older;

I've decided--I don't know, I look pretty happy in that picture, to be fair.

C: I actually really liked that top.

J: Oh, it's a top!

C: Yeah, it's a top and a skirt.

C: It was quite like--it had like a sequin-y bit. J: Ooo.

C: But yeah, I've embraced my curly hair by that point, as well. J: Yeah!

J: You look cute. C: Got rid of all the bangles.

C: Still not wearing that much make-up.