I feellikeGodheardthatthetimego, I'm suddenlygonnahavetowearmyglassesallthetimewhenmyback's gonnahurtand I'm I'm goingtolaughofFacebookmeans, But I wanttoturnitinto a positivething.
I'vebeenreallyexcitedaboutturning 30 Eversince I hitlike 26 I don't knowthisthiscombingtimeoflife, thishugemilestoneformeit's likeit's liketurning 10 isoneofthebigmilestonebecauseit's doubledigitsandthenyouturn 18 andthenyourlegaltodo a lotofstuff, especiallyhereonthen 21 is a bigone, andthen 30 isthenextone.
Andthenafterthat, it's like, what, 50?
Soit's a reallybigturningpointinyourlife, and I wanttoturnitinto a positivething.
Andwhen I wasabout 25 26 27 I waslike, Howthefuckisthatgonnahappen?
27 on 2017.
Withsuch a horribleyearforme, youcouldgoback.
Hecanwatchthevideo.
I talkedaboutbeingtheworstyearofmylife, anditwasawfuland I reallywantedtomake 28 29 2018 a betteryearand I reallydidandthen 2019 cameonand I feellike I can't havestumbled a littlebitthroughthatagain.
I feellike I setthebarsohighfor 2018.
I putoutsomuchenergythatitwasjustkindofhardtoliveuptothatanditwashardtokeepthatgoing.
That 2019 I kindofstumbledin, wobbled a bit, but I didn't phoneovercompletelyandmyvoicecracks.
I wantyour 30 thatdoesn't goaway.
So I didn't fallovercompletelyandevenif I did, would I pickmyselfbackupandjustrantheraceagainanyway?
But I feltlike I stumbled a littlebitinsomeofthethingsthat I wantedtodowithsomeofthementalitiesthat I wasbringingforward.
Butallthattimeworkingtowardstheageof 30 I reallyfeltlike I wasgettingtoknowmyselfbetterandnotnotevenliketryingsuperhard, notevensittingdownandbeinglike, okay, whoam I orselfreflectingallthatoften.
I justreallyfeltlike I wasgettingcomfortableinmyownskin.
I gotinto a pointwherealltheallthetrivialstuff, allthepettystuff, allthestuffthatkindofboggedmedowninmytwentiesalljustfeltsonotsomuchmeaningless.
Butitfeltlikesomuchwastedenergy.
LikeallthisstuffaboutwakinguponworryingaboutthedayandworryingaboutallthosetinylittlethingsthatwerehappeningAndlikeallGod, can I getthisdone?
And, um, whatdoesthispersonthinkofme?
Alltheshitjustseemedtojustmeltawaytheirolder I gotanothertime, 30.
It's likemenwastedsomanymentalcaloriesburningthroughallofthesethoughtsovertheyearsthatreallyjust I don't knowwhere I wanttotakemythirtiesandput a stamponit.
I kindofmentionedsomeofthisstuffattheendof 2019 anditbeingtheendofthedecade.
Andnowthat I'm hereat 30 goingintothenextdecadeofmylife, I reallyjustwanttoleanintothat.
Forthelastyear, I foundmyselfjustbeingconnected, agitatedatthingsandpissedoffaboutthingsandkindofjustworryingaboutallthisshitandcomparingmyselftopeople.
Andbecause 2019 wasliketheyearthat I reallywentdownto, like, onevideo a dayonthechannelandthenhadsuch a knockoneffectonsomanyaspectsofthechannelthat I mean, I'm notgonnagetintoallthatnow.
It's just a lotoflikeofanalyticsandblah, blah, blah.
Butlet's justsayitwasoneoftheworstperformingyearsonthechannel, andthat's literallyonlybecause I havethecontentonit, andthatwasfine.
I washappydoingthatbecause I reallyneededtimeawayfrom, like, thedoubleuploadscheduleandallofthatjustbombardingme.
No, I can't stopifyouguysarejustheretohangoutandhavefunandberealwithme, and I'm goingtotweetitoutaboutthisiswhilethankingeverybodyforjustbeingsoniceandallthebirthdaywishes.
But I alsofoughtitupwithAh, thankstoallmyfriendsbecause I hadthisweirdmomentwherewell, I guessit's notweird.
It's lovelyatthismomentwhere I justkindoflikesatattheendofthedayanditwasabouttonotbemybirthdayanymore, and I justkindofsad.
And I lookedatTwitterand I lookedatallthepeoplewhoweresayingnicethingsandallthefriendswhohadmessagedmeonEven I evenhad, likeRyanReynolds, leave a commentonmyinstagrampostwishingme a happybirthdayonlikejuststufflikethat.
Italljustkindofhitmeatonce.
Howfuckinggreat.
Everythingishowwonderfulthingscanreallybeon.
I justgotovercomewithemotionandjustkindofsathereoverjoyedand I'm gonnafuckingcryif I talkaboutitanymore.
But I'm just I'm reallyhappyand I wanttomakethesethebest 10 yearsoffmylife, Thelast I'm very, incrediblyproudwithwhat I'veaccomplishedin 30 yearsalready.
Andmostofthathascomeinthelastseven.
So I wanttoreallymakethenext 10 yearssomethingThioreallybeproudoffmyselfonDhewhile I reallyloveyouguysand I'm bringingyouallonthisjourneywithmesometimesit's niceagain.
30 I feellike, andbeingonolderindividualis a greattimetojustkindoffigureoutwhatyouwantinlife.
I thinktheearlieryoufigureoutwhoyouareandwhatyouwantoutoflife, it's notgonnabethesametimeforeverybody.