to Austin's stupid corner of stupid things.

So, recently we took a look at a very, very dumb item

at our local electronics store,

where the employees helpfully pointed out

the worst computer that they currently sell.

The HP Fisher-Price special.

Now it's not actually a officially a Fisher-Price.

Wait until you see what's inside this.

It is, it bad.

It's real bad.

So, what'd you get with a 400 dollar HP All-in-One?

Well, not,

not much.

Wait actually, it has an external power supply?

This thing is basically the same power of like

a netbook, and yet it has an external supply?

But it has an internal DVD drive?

I am offended right now.

We haven't even opened this thing up and I'm offended.

Hope you guys are ready for Austin "Salty" Evans.

Okay actually, I will say I'm kinda digging

the white keyboard.

Obviously, it's a very cheap membrane keyboard.

That's actually not bad and it looks kinda nice.

I'll give them some props,

it does come with a 12 dollar keyboard in a box.

Seems so small I can just pick it up with one hand.

(laughing)

- [Ken] I don't like that.

Redesigned, reliable, and ready for you.

So which one of these do you think it'll actually..

- None of the above, none of the above.

Do you see how thick this thing is?

Do you see how big it is?

They couldn't have fit this just like here?

- [Ken] I love how it has a Kensington lock

in case you were worried about anyone stealing

your box.

- I will say, I'm actually a little bit of a sucker

for this white.

I mean, it doesn't actually look terrible

as far as the color goes, it just looks like

a toy, like, the bezels are massive.

So around back we have that fancy ripple pattern,

we have a Kensington lock, headphone jack, HDMI,

that's impressive, two USB 3.0, the power adapter,

ethernet as well as two USB 2.0.

And over on this side, we've got an optical disk drive,

a DVD writer, no less, in case you wanna--

You can't do blu-rays though,

so-- - [Ken] Well, I mean,

even if it could, I don't think it would play them.

- All right, let's plug this thing in.

I really wanna see how this is.

So just trying to get it to open up the Windows

set up screen is taking a very, very long time.

- [Ken] We've been here for like three to five minutes?

- It's not moved from this screen, it turned on,

I got the boot logo, it's "just a moment".

I will say, however, actually did miss one thing,

if you look on the bottom, we do have an SD card,

which is very exciting.

Also, take a look at the stand.

It has a lot of adjustability.

I can go from here to here.

Wait, that's black?

Look at this, can you, sorry, can you see this?

That's black, that's supposed to be black right now.

(computer vocalizing) Do you see?

It's just gray.

- [Ken] I will say, the most impressive thing

about this right now,

that speaker actually sounds pretty good.

- The speaker actually doesn't sound bad.

Hang on, let me just show you something.

So just in case you can't see clearly on the computer,

this is what black should look like.

And this is the black of the actual system.

Can you see how bad that is?

This might be one of the worst looking displays ever.

Oh, important set-up time.

I've got at least five more laps

on the scooter for this one.

You know, it's very strange because

there are actually a fair few all-in-ones available.

I would argue that at most stores people are buying

all-in-ones more often than they're buying

full sized desktops.

But this is one of the only all-in-ones

that does not have a touch screen.

- [Ken] Oh, don't do that.

- Do you see how much the whole screen flickers?

Wee!

Oop, oop, oop, almost broke the set.

Wee!

Okay, so we finally are up and running inside Windows.

So first of all, let me actually take a closer look

at the spec on this guy.

So we have a dual core AMD A-4 9125,

we have four gigabytes of RAM, a one terabyte of hard drive,

we do have AC WiFi, although I am plugged in via ethernet

and Radeon R3 graphics.

This,

this is rough, man.

All right, I'm gonna uninstall everything I can.

We're gonna try to get this thing as speedy as possible.

I've got a lot of things to uninstall, though.

So, after letting this sit overnight

and get all of it's updates handled,

there are a couple of things that really jump out to me,

in fact you can see it right now.

Very, very frequently it just sits at incredibly

high CPU, it's like 71% just doing nothing, right?

So, one of the things about the system

is that with such a slow dual-core processor,

something as simple as the host process

for setting synchronization can peg the CPU

almost entirely.

I get it, cheap computer but the problem here is that

it is not that cheap.

400 dollars is still 200 dollars more

than I think this thing is probably worth.

But, I did tweet out, I did ask if anyone had any questions

about our wonderful HP All-In-One.

All right, so let's see how long Twitter

actually takes to load.

Mind you, I'm on ethernet right now.

So,

mkay.

It's coming, it's not the worst thing I've ever seen.

Dry hump it.

No, Kyle.

Hackintosh.

Look, I am not gonna hackintosh this thing.

I don't wanna make the world (bleep) iMac, here.

Technically it might be possible,

no actually, I don't even know, it's got four gigs of RAM,

I don't even know if it would, don't you need eight gigs

for the most recent version of Catalina?

- [Ken] What if you do the older versions?

- That sounds terrible, I don't wanna do that.

(laughing) Run Crysis.

Oh my God, you know what?

I don't even think I can watch a video

of Crysis on this thing, right?

No, no, it's not--

I have four gigs of single channel memory with like,

no.

- [Ken] Well, that's easier than installing it.

- It won't even install, I bet.

We have Pentium four, one gig of RAM

GeForce 6800 GT.

(exhales) This actually might work.

Look,

I'm gonna do this for the PC Master Race,

but I'm not happy about it.

All right, here we go. Crysis Warhead, let's do it.

So, it's only six gigs. Oh man, that's actually kinda nice.

Look at that, it's allocating disk space

in an incredibly rapid (chuckles).

I can't say anything nice about this thing.

Okay, let's see how long it's actually gonna take.

'Cause theoretically, we're on ethernet,

oh look at that, five minutes.

Wait a minute, that's actually pretty good.

Wait, are we really gonna install this

in less than three minutes?

It's (chuckles) bottlenecking hard,

but you know what, who cares?

If I can get like three frames per second in Crysis,

I will consider this to be a success.

(laughing)

Yo, I saw 710 down.

To be fair, that really has very little

to do with the computer in entirely the fact

that we have a gig connection here, but still.

Look, PC Master Race right? I gotta rep my true colors.

- [Ken] White?

- Ken!

Unacceptable, man. - [Ken] (laughs)

- I am offended.

Oh c'mon, any computer could get

through to the loading screen, right?

- [Ken] Yeah, a 3D generated video?

- Yeah, (chuckles) runs great on Core 2 Duo.

You know what, I don't even think

this is as powerful as a Core 2 Duo. Realistically?

It might be close.

(computer plays music) - [Ken] That is very loud.

- I'll turn it down a little bit.

Gonna work.

Gonna work.

C'mon 99 percent.

(computer vocalizes) It works!

I mean this is 16 frames per second, but this works.

Oh okay that was a stutter.

All right, hold on, hold on.

Let me turn some settings down.

Let me crank it all the way down.

This actually works, though.

So, we're minimum at 800 by 600.

So,

don't do that.

Don't do that.

Oh look. I'm up to 22 frames per second now.

This is the jitteriest frame rate I've ever felt.

It like bounces between 30 and two, it feels like.

But this is Crysis.

You know what's something I've really noticed here,

the screen is terrible, like the black point

I've never seen the black part of the screen

be the same as the gray part of the screen.

Like there's no difference whatsoever,

like it's so, like the lack of contrast is crazy.

Look, I think this is really straightforward.

Is it a great version of Crysis? No.

But does it actually, technically work? Yes.

I actually am, not gonna say impressed,

but surprised is definitely the way I would put it.

Wait, you can't ask questions on Twitter.

Can it fold?

No.

Why are asking Twitter?

You're like right here,

you don't have to ask questions on Twitter.

Oh hell no. Someone wants to play to the Witcher 3.

- [Ken] Nope.

- Please don't play Fortnite on it.

No problem. Fortnite definitely won't work.

Edit a video with it.

So, you may have caught a video I did last year

where I bought my very first laptop

and tried to edit a video on it.

It was a complete and total disaster.

So no, I'm not doing any more edit challenges.

I value my sanity more than 35 seconds of your entertainment

I apologize.

That may have been rude to be...

- [Ken] But you played Crysis.

- Crysis is fine. Oh wait, here's a better,

someone asked, "open ten tabs in Chrome."

You think we can do ten tabs?

I should probably install Chrome first.

K, so I have installed Chrome.

And right now, we're sitting at 2.5 of our 3.9 gigs

of memory used, so let's just start opening tabs.

So, I have a YouTube page up with a video which is paused.

We're at 2.8 gigs of RAM, so we have, we're okay.

This is just tab number three.

Oh, 3.1 uh. And we're pegged CPU, okay.

Next, let's go Apple.com.

That's a, that should be an easy enough website to load.

- [Ken] Easy? - Yeah.

- [Ken] Is it easy?

- Apple sites actually are pretty well optimized.

Okay, so we're at 3.4 gigs of RAM.