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  • So in my last video I ranted about a taxi driver who almost hit me in the crosswalk

  • because they couldn't brake fast enough in the rain, and I was thinking about this

  • problem in a few ways.

  • They couldn't stop before the crosswalk, but really it's that they couldn't decrease

  • their speed fast enough to get from 50 to 0 before hitting the crosswalk, or maybe it's

  • really that the slope of their decreasing speed, out of all possible slopes, was not

  • a steep enough slope.

  • Too little deceleration.

  • Now, some people after seeing my last video protested my use of the term deceleration.

  • Deceleration: is it even a thing?

  • Or should we saynegative accelleration?

  • Because the opposite of speeding up isn't slowing down, it's negative speeding-up.

  • And that's the problem with cars; they have separate modes for forward and reverse.

  • When you're coming up to a stop light you don't slow down by putting the car into reverse,

  • you hit the brakes.

  • And after you slow to a stop using the brakes, if you want to start going backwards back

  • out of the crosswalk, it's not like you do it by just holding down the brakes real hard.

  • Deceleration stops when the speed of the car reaches zero, and negative accelleration starts

  • when you go into reverse, and when you brake while in reverse, slowing down your slowing

  • down, that's negative deceleration.

  • Which is also known as acceleration.

  • Yep, hitting the brakes while in reverse actually speeds you up, in the positive direction,

  • because really we're talking about velocity not speed.

  • Velocity: it's speed that cares.

  • About direction.

  • Care-Speed.

  • BUT IF WE HAD HOVERCARS, there's no frictional attachment to the relative zero position of

  • the earth, no friction-based brakes that care about things like whether you're stopped

  • or not.

  • In a hover car, you'd be zooming up to the crosswalk and instead of decellerating by

  • hitting the brakes, because there are no brakes, you'd hit the reverse thrusters that accellerate

  • you backwards, which would slow you down, I mean negatively care-speed you up to speed

  • zero but instead of stopping, the hovercar would keep on the reverse thrusters and smoothly

  • continue the deceleration curve until it were back out of the crosswalk.

  • And possibly very far away so that I don't come after it on my hoverboard.

  • Like, here's the regular taxi: vroooom eeeeeee-shnk. mrhhhhshnk.

  • And the hovercar: vvvvvv pffwhshhh.

  • Clearly superior, and a much smoother ride.

  • Good drivers avoid these sorts of nondifferentiable changes in accelleration... y'know, the sudden-change

  • anglybits.

  • Although in real life there's lots of little slope-iness going on everywhere in here...

  • Mm, slopes.

  • I always found that weird, that you'd get a smoother ride if you kept decellerating

  • in a hovercar until you're going backwards, than if you just stop.

  • Which is why to understand what it's like to drive a hovercar I find it helpful to look

  • at the 2nd derivative, oh, did I mention care-speed is the 1st derivative of position over time

  • and accelleration is the 2nd?

  • Calculus.

  • The art of lookin' at slopes.

  • Side note: I'm pretty sure the reason Newton gets the credit for inventing calculus instead

  • of Leibniz was that someone was like hey, newton, what are you doin', and he was like,

  • I am integrating the derivatives of the differential calculus, and it sounded so fancy that they

  • decided kids just had to memorize all of it, while when someone asked Leibniz what he was

  • doing, he was probably like, I'm lookin' at slopes, I like slopes.

  • Do you like slopes?

  • I like slopes.

  • Anyway that's how it goes in my head.

  • But it's the second derivative I care about, because when you're driving that's what

  • you have control over.

  • You can accelerate and decelerate using gas and brakes, that's it.

  • Unless you've got fancy cruise control that lets you directly input a speed, in which

  • case you can sometimes work on a 1st-derivative level.

  • And someday we'll all use self-driving cars where you just put in the position you want

  • to go and they calculate the rest, ah technology, lowering derivatives for the common good.

  • Although if we were going to work directly with position rather than acceleration I'd

  • prefer straight up teleportation but if you like differentiable modes of transportation

  • then hovercars are the mathematically more beautiful choice of vehicle with which to

  • narrowly avoid hitting pedestrians, just look at that smooth flat deceleration that creates

  • a constant sloping down-wards speed that goes right through the stillness of 0 to continue

  • backwards, which means your position over time as you approach the crosswalk and back

  • away again is the perfect smooth curve of a parabola.

  • And whenever you buy a hovercar you should always check the range of your second derivative

  • because more powerful thrusters means steeper slopes for your first derivative and tighter

  • parabolas.

  • Parabola!

  • It's got all the slopes!

  • Look at the slopes!

  • It's calculus! (lookin' at slopes).

So in my last video I ranted about a taxi driver who almost hit me in the crosswalk

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