and life you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday. And I don't even care if it’s not Tuesday

when you’re watching it. It’s not even Tuesday when I’m recording it. But this

is Q&A Tuesday. So let’s rock it. Today’s question comes from Tamaryn and she writes,

“Hi Marie, I’m based in London and an American acquaintance recommended you to me,

and I love, love, love your message. I've just started up my own business and my question

is this: How do you deal with self-sabotaging thoughts that make you feel like you are 'winging

it’ and that someone will find you out? I think women in particular suffer from this

and we hold ourselves back because we feel like we could get 'busted' any moment for

not really being an expert in our field - even if we've got a lot of experience and great

ideas.”

Awesome question Tamaryn.

I agree with you that many of us feel like a fraud, regardless of how much experience

we have!

And here’s the thing, the idea that we could somehow be a fraud or that we’re gonna get

found is really a kissing cousin to one of the biggest fears that every human being on

the planet shares, and it’s this:

It’s the fear of not being good enough. We ALL have this fear, people who are brand

new at what they’re doing and people who have tons of experience and a lot of accomplishments

under their belt.

Now where all of us get tripped up is thinking that we need to overcome the fear of “not

being good enough” or get rid of our negative thoughts in order to be successful. Truth

is, you don't have to.

Here’s the thing, you can’t really get rid of negative thoughts and if you’ve ever

tried you know that I’m right. But what you can do is make them powerless. And here’s

how.

You know how when you leave your computer idle for a little while a screensaver pops

up?

Your self-sabotaging thoughts are the same thing: they’re a screensaver that pops up

EVERY TIME YOU go idle.

Think about it, when you’re FULLY immersed in your work, maybe you’re creating a marketing

campaign or you’re writing an email to a client or you’re doing any of the 300 things

that need to happen in order for your business to run, you have no room to wonder whether

or not you’re a fraud.

You’re too busy getting things done and making a difference!

But the moment you go idle ….

So how do you get your real screen saver to go away? You tap a key and you get back to

work. It’s the same thing with your mental one.

So rather than thinking of your negative thoughts as “bad”, consider them an automatic,

friendly reminder that you’ve checked out and it’s time to re-engage.

Know this: in any given moment, you’re EITHER fully engaged. . . OR

By the way, just because those words are there, does not mean that they are true. You don't

have to analyze the words or try and change them or make them wrong or try and figure

out why they’re there in the first place.

Tamaryn, the only thing you have control over in life is what you focus on. Where you’ll

direct your attention, your energy, and your emotion in any given moment.

And I’ve got a mantra to help you remember this and yes, it’s a tweetable:

“More present moment engagement = less crappy thoughts.”

Look Tamaryn, we all have self sabotaging thoughts. The difference between those who

are successful and those who are not, is the amount of attention and energy that we give

to them.

So that’s my A to your Q. Bye.

I’m just kidding. Tamaryn, that wasn’t it. I want to challenge you and everyone to

take what I’m calling the 7 Day Screen Saver Challenge.

For the next seven days what I want you to do is pay special attention, every time you

disengage and you check out and you go into zombieland catch your mental screensaver,

tap a little key, and get back into your life. I PROMISE - you do this for 7 days, you don't

make your little negative thoughts wrong, you don't worry about self sabotaging anything,

you just stay engaged in the present moment as much as possible, it’s gonna have a huge

effect on your productivity and, more importantly, your happiness.

Now I’d love to hear from you. How do you deal with your self-sabotaging thoughts? Do

you think they’re legit OR do you brush them off and get back to work?

As always, the best action happens after the episode at MarieForleo.com so go there and

leave a comment now.

Did you like this video? If so, SUBSCRIBE to my channel and share it with your friends!

And if you want even MORE great resources to have a business and life you love PLUS

personal insights from me that I only share in email--- come on over to MarieForleo.com

and sign up for email updates.

Stay on your game and keeping going for your dreams. The world needs that special gift

that only YOU have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time

on MarieTV!