and life you love, and this is Q&A Tuesday.

Today’s question comes from Kristen and she writes:

“Hi Marie, I’m a 31 year old optometrist, wife, and mother of 2. I’ve been married

for 5 years, lived in the same house for 5 years, and I’ve been at the same job for

5 years. I love my family dearly and enjoy my job, however, I feel like something huge

is missing. I’m not sure if it’s the 5 year slump or if I’m meant to do something

bigger.”

Hm, I’ve never heard of the 5 year slump. Is that the thing that comes 2 years before

the 7 year itch? Alright, she says:

“I’ve never been one to take huge chances. I come from a family of realists. I know I

have a lot of potential but there’s always that, “you’re not good enough,” thought

nagging me. I need and want to break free of this desperately. I love dancing, but I’m

self conscious. I love singing, but I don’t do it because I worry how I’ll be perceived.

I have to cut this self doubt for myself and my family. I certainly don’t want to instill

it in my children. Sincerely, Kristen”

Great question, Kristen. So many of us can relate to that feeling that there’s something

missing in our life. And before we move ahead, I wanna acknowledge you for having the courage

to say, “You know what? I am not gonna settle for the status quo and I want more for my

life.” Good for you, woman.

First things first. If you don’t make the change right now, you’re right, you will

pass along all that self doubt to your kids.

If they see you as someone who’s not willing to take risks, as someone who’s not gonna

go for their dreams, you’re gonna wind up creating your own family of realists. And

what I mean by that, is people who are unwilling to go for their dreams, unwilling to be unreasonable.

And here’s the thing Kristen, as you know, sometimes the best things in life come when

we’re being unreasonable.

On the other hand, if your kids see you taking action and going after your dreams and being

willing to embarrass yourself every once in a while, they’re gonna get the message that

it’s safe for them to take risks and to go after their dreams instead of just dreaming

about them.

Here’s the other thing about what’s missing from your life, Kristen. What’s missing

is fun! Just because you’re in a slump, it doesn't mean that you’ve outgrown your

house or your marriage or a job. All it means is that you’ve outgrown your tolerance for

leading a boring ass life.

We human beings need to be creative. We need the adventure and the excitement and the variety

that comes from creative endeavors. And when I was reading your question, that little line

that you have about dancing, that you wish you could dance, you wish you could sing,

tells me that you are creatively malnourished. You are starving right now. And, look, you

don’t have to go audition for X-Factor or do anything crazy like that. You can just

start singing in your shower if you want. Or you can take dance breaks at the office.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I am a bit of a closet hippie. And in the

past year I’ve been starting to go to drumming circles. I have no idea what I’m doing,

but I love it. Sure, I could’ve let the fear of looking stupid stop me, but when has

that stopped me before?

If we get right down to it, I have the life I have right now because I’m willing to

look stupid. Here’s the thing Kristen, you are waiting for a sudden hit of courage to

do the things you’re afraid of. But the truth is this, you have courage inside of

you, you just need to activate it.

Courage is a muscle and you build it by doing the things that you’re afraid of. So if

you’re terrified of something, say, “Screw it! I’m gonna do it anyway.” That’s

the way that you’re gonna strengthen and stimulate your sexy courage muscles.

As Mr. John Wayne said, and yes, it’s a tweetable:

“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.”

Finally, Kristen, about not feeling good enough? We’ve already done a whole episode on that

right here.

Kristen, that is my A to your Q. Remember, you’ve got one shot on this planet, so make

it count.

Now I want to hear from you. Have you ever had that feeling like you have a good life

but something’s just missing? What’d you do to turn it around? I wanna hear your story.

As always, the best stuff happens after the episode in the comments section at MarieForleo.com,

so go there and tell me your story right now.

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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams. The world needs that special gift

that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you next time on MarieTV.